This is the rudest thing you're doing every time you meet someone new — and it causes instant dislike
When meeting someone new, it's not unusual to enquire about what that person does for work — but a body language expert says it's a surefire way to get off on the wrong foot.
Vanessa Van Edwards, the author of 'Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People' made the claim in an interview on The Diary of a CEO podcast, which has resurfaced after being recorded last year.
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'Stop asking 'What do you do?'' Van Edwards declared. 'That is telling them their brain can stay on autopilot. Asking someone that question is really asking 'What are you worth?''
Because you may be subtly sizing up your new acquaintance with such a query, the expert asserted that the question is impolite.
'If someone's not defined by what they do, it's actually a rude question,' Van Edwards stated. 'You can replace it with 'Working on anything exciting these days?' or 'Working on anything exciting recently?'
She explained that such questions allow people to answer in the way they feel most comfortable, possibly opening up the conversation to create more possibilities for connection.
While most may choose to discuss their occupation, others will use the questions as opportunities to speak about an exciting hobby they are working on or a holiday they are planning.
'This is permission connection,' Van Edwards said. 'You ask someone that question, you are giving them permission if they want to tell you about what they do.'
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'Ask, 'What's going on? Are you OK? What are you feeling? I want to be here for it.' Because then you're giving air to whatever that contempt is so that it can be addressed,' the communications maven told The Unplanned Podcast earlier this year.
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a day ago
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This is the rudest thing you're doing every time you meet someone new — and it causes instant dislike
When meeting someone new, it's not unusual to enquire about what that person does for work — but a body language expert says it's a surefire way to get off on the wrong foot. Vanessa Van Edwards, the author of 'Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People' made the claim in an interview on The Diary of a CEO podcast, which has resurfaced after being recorded last year. 3 3 'Stop asking 'What do you do?'' Van Edwards declared. 'That is telling them their brain can stay on autopilot. Asking someone that question is really asking 'What are you worth?'' Because you may be subtly sizing up your new acquaintance with such a query, the expert asserted that the question is impolite. 'If someone's not defined by what they do, it's actually a rude question,' Van Edwards stated. 'You can replace it with 'Working on anything exciting these days?' or 'Working on anything exciting recently?' She explained that such questions allow people to answer in the way they feel most comfortable, possibly opening up the conversation to create more possibilities for connection. While most may choose to discuss their occupation, others will use the questions as opportunities to speak about an exciting hobby they are working on or a holiday they are planning. 'This is permission connection,' Van Edwards said. 'You ask someone that question, you are giving them permission if they want to tell you about what they do.' 3 'Ask, 'What's going on? Are you OK? What are you feeling? I want to be here for it.' Because then you're giving air to whatever that contempt is so that it can be addressed,' the communications maven told The Unplanned Podcast earlier this year.
New York Post
2 days ago
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This is the rudest thing you're doing everytime your meet someone new — and it causes instant dislike
It's the common question that's an instant connection killer. When meeting someone new, it's not unusual to enquire about what that person does for work — but a body language expert says it's a surefire way to get off on the wrong foot. Vanessa Van Edwards, the author of 'Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People' made the claim in an interview on The Diary of a CEO podcast, which has resurfaced after being recorded last year. Vanessa Van Edwards, the author of 'Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People' made the claim in an interview on The Diary of a CEO podcast, which has resurfaced after being recorded last year. Youtube/ The Diary Of A CEO 'Stop asking 'What do you do?'' Van Edwards declared. 'That is telling them their brain can stay on autopilot. Asking someone that question is really asking 'What are you worth?'' Because you may be subtly sizing up your new acquaintance with such a query, the expert asserted that the question is impolite. 'If someone's not defined by what they do, it's actually a rude question,' Van Edwards stated. 'You can replace it with 'Working on anything exciting these days?' or 'Working on anything exciting recently?' She explained that such questions allow people to answer in the way they feel most comfortable, possibly opening up the conversation to create more possibilities for connection. While most may choose to discuss their occupation, others will use the questions as opportunities to speak about an exciting hobby they are working on or a holiday they are planning. 'This is permission connection,' Van Edwards said. 'You ask someone that question, you are giving them permission if they want to tell you about what they do.' Diary of a CEO podcast host Steven Bartlett is pictured. Youtube/ The Diary Of A CEO Van Edwards has also made headlines for revealing the questions you need to ask a spouse if you're in a struggling marriage. 'Ask, 'What's going on? Are you OK? What are you feeling? I want to be here for it.' Because then you're giving air to whatever that contempt is so that it can be addressed,' the communications maven told The Unplanned Podcast earlier this year.
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Snap doesn't make a lot of noise. While other platforms race to dominate the creator economy through funds, feeds, and increasingly similar features, Snap has quietly taken a different approach — one rooted in intimacy, visual communication, and, more recently, a long-term bet on wearables and AR. But whether that contrarian vision is enough to earn a more central place in the creator economy remains an open question. In a rare, thoughtful interview on The Diary of a CEO podcast with Steven Bartlett, Snap CEO Evan Spiegel laid out his vision for what a healthier, more human internet could look like. It's a compelling alternative to the social platforms we've grown used to — and one that challenges some of the assumptions the creator economy has been built on. Snapchat opens to the camera — not a content feed. That's a philosophical one. 'We wanted people to focus on creating rather than consuming,' Spiegel told Bartlett. 'That small design choice has enormous consequences.' Unlike other platforms built around public validation, Snap avoids features like visible like counts and public comment threads. 'We made a very conscious decision not to have likes and comments,' he explained. 'Because that creates an environment of comparison and pressure, and that's not what we're about.' While this approach may be more psychologically sound, it has also meant Snap often feels out of step with how creators typically grow audiences and monetize content today. For creators conditioned to optimize for reach, Snap's quieter, more personal design can feel like a harder path — even if it may ultimately be a healthier one. Spiegel revealed in the Bartlett interview that Snap's monetization tools have come a long way — and that the company is now paying out significant money to creators and publishers. 'We're doing over half a billion dollars in creator payouts a year,' he said. That number was echoed in another recent conversation Spiegel had on The Colin and Samir Show, where he elaborated on Snap's expanding revenue share model across both Stories and Spotlight. It's allowed creators like Alyssa McKay to use Snapchat as a springboard for building seven-figure product businesses — and homegrown voices like Brooke Monk to turn daily Snap posts into full-time creative careers. Still, Snap's monetization infrastructure is less mature than YouTube's or even TikTok's. Spiegel acknowledges this: 'We've had to get really good at saying no,' he told Bartlett, referencing features like Snap's discontinued mini-games platform. 'It just wasn't going to be a big business.' That discipline has kept Snap focused — but it's also limited how aggressively it's chased creator mindshare. Perhaps Snap's most compelling argument in favor of its model is the relationship users have with it. In the Bartlett interview, Spiegel pointed to third-party academic research showing that Snapchat, unlike its rivals, may actually improve users' well-being. 'There was a study out of the Netherlands,' he said. 'And it found that Snapchat actually promotes well-being and supports your relationships. There were no negative mental health implications of using Snapchat — but there were for Instagram and TikTok.' The product is intentionally designed to foster private communication and limit performative sharing. 'Snap is about your relationships, not your profile,' Spiegel explained. 'We're not building for popularity contests.' That design principle makes Snap different — and potentially better — for creators looking to foster real loyalty and community. But it also means Snap often gets left out of the conversation when it comes to rapid audience growth and influencer virality. Where Snap is arguably ahead of the curve is in its long-running investment in wearables and AR. 'Screens have been our interface with computers for decades,' Spiegel told Bartlett. 'But I think pretty soon, they're going to be much more immersive in the world.' He spoke passionately about Snap's AR glasses — Spectacles — and how they're not just a gadget, but a philosophical statement about the future of technology. 'We should have a lot more ambition for what computers are,' he said. 'I want to be sitting at home, look out the window, and see our four kids running around outside… wearing glasses, playing together, doing something fun that teaches them something.' Snap is one of the few major companies betting that the future of computing will move off screens and into our physical surroundings. It's a bold, long-term play — and one that could reshape what creation and connection look like for the next generation of creators. Snap is not the loudest player in the creator economy. It isn't the most lucrative for the biggest influencers. 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