BTS' RM says mental health worsened amid HYBE issues, had to rely on pills: ‘I cried all night, kept saying I was going to die'

Indian Express

a day ago

BTS RM was discharged from the military on June 10 after 18 months of service, along with fellow band member Kim Taehyung. Though the two served at different military bases, both enlisted on the same day and were discharged from Chuncheon. Upon their return, the two held a comeback Weverse live, which was joined by BTS's oldest member, Kim Seokjin, and they spoke about how their MBTI had changed over the months. But once the live ended, both idols then held separate lives to talk to fans and share their experiences at the military base. However, what RM shared has deeply upset and angered fans. The K-pop idol revealed he was diagnosed with insomnia and couldn't sleep for two days straight due to everything happening at their agency, HYBE.
Also read: 'Taehyung was so passionate': Award-winning director recalls how BTS' V got rid of IU's MV scene, cut his hair and enlisted the next day
While all the BTS members recalled having a good time in the military, serving the nation, RM seemed to have had a hard time. The BTS leader shared with fans how physically and emotionally draining his service had been, especially with everything going on at his company, HYBE, around the same time. Last year and even now, BTS' agency led by Bang Si Hyuk has been embroiled in a number of controversies, ranging from the ADOR vs. Min Hee Jin fight, the NewJeans feud, and now a probe on Bang. Although RM didn't blame HYBE directly, fans connected the timing and felt he was clearly affected by it all.
RM revealed that he had suffered from serious insomnia, so bad that at one point, he didn't sleep for 78 hours straight. 'They're sleeping right next to you, snoring and grinding their teeth. So… There was a time when I did not get a single minute of sleep for two days, for about 78 hours. That was toward the end of April. I mean, there were a lot of things happening outside the base. I remember thinking to myself, 'Oh, I'm going to die at this rate.' Like, I have to keep going with the daily schedule, but I'm running on no sleep. I'd be lying down and—those of you who have insomnia know what I'm talking about. I'm tired but I just can't fall asleep.'
Also read: BTS' RM and V finally discharged from mandatory military service, receive hero's welcome from fans. See pics
Furthermore, Kim Namjoon also shared that he started feeling emotionally weak. He kept questioning himself, wondering why he was struggling so much in the military when he had handled worse things in the past. 'Why are you so weak? You've been through more challenging times already. So why are you losing to things like sleep… or the military?' RM revealed he tried to push himself to be positive again and to go back to the roots, to go back to being 'Mr. Why Not?' He said, 'It was a way for me to try to hype myself up, but it doesn't really work when you're in the army. But I'm going to come around.'
In the same livestream, RM shared that he had to get professional help during his service. The therapist diagnosed him with insomnia and gave him sleeping pills, which he's now been taking for 1 year and 2 months. A day before discharge, the K-pop idol revealed crying all night after his fellow comrades went to sleep and kept consoling himself that his military service had finally ended. After the livestream, fans showed RM support and praised his honesty. But there was also a lot of anger. Many fans were furious, not just at how harsh the military conditions sounded, but also at HYBE. Since RM mentioned this all started around the time HYBE was dealing with its internal drama, fans felt that maybe the company didn't protect him well enough.