'There Are No Crumbs In My Car' — People Are Sharing The Subtle Signs That Someone Doesn't Have Kids, And These Are Hilariously Accurate
Having children is one of life's greatest joys. Buuuuut... becoming a parent definitely changes your life in some very notable ways.
At a certain point, it becomes pretty easy to tell who has children and who doesn't just from the subtle (or not so subtle) ways people live their lives.
Honing in on that idea, Reddit user u/prince-pauper prompted the r/Millennials community saying, "Tell me you don't have kids without telling me you don't have kids," and the answers are actually hilarious and so spot-on.
1."I just binge-watched an entire TV show this past weekend, and I finish a book about every two weeks."
—u/maychi
2."I have white and cream colored furniture and knick-knacks around my house."
—u/SpeakerSignal8386
3."There are no crumbs in my car."
—u/lmjns2792
4."I don't know what/who Bluey is."
—u/pEter-skEeterR45
5."Silence."
—u/Substantial-Mix-3013
6."I drive a two-seater."
—u/TheBlooDred
7."There's a bong on my coffee table."
—u/Diagonaldog
8."I baked my dog a quesadilla and served it to her on the deck."
—u/Lothar_the_Lurker
"I bought my dog a ball pit and 2000 balls."
—u/catnip_sandwich
"My dog has a wardrobe."
—u/Aivix_Geminus
9."I'm drunk at Disney right now."
—u/inyoni
10."My house is as clean after work as it was before work."
—u/dalek-predator
11."We forgot it was Easter."
—u/sammy_from_miami
12."My husband and I have sex whenever we feel like it, in whichever room in the house we want. And we never have to keep it down."
—u/Jolie97
13."I get to enjoy quiet weekend mornings sipping on my coffee that's still hot."
—u/CrisBasile89
14."My wife and I travel multiple times a year on modest salaries."
—u/LeatherFruitPF
15."I eat whatever I want without having to sneak anything or explain it. I can cook whichever meal I like any night of the week, or I can cook nothing and pick at some cheese."
—u/pEter-skEeterR45
16."I'm in my 30s and I still have to sit at the kid's table at Christmas."
—u/mlo9109
17."My spouse and I buy LEGOs for ourselves and build them over days or weeks, depending on the set."
—u/k0cksuck3r69
18."Want to see my giant Build-A-Bear Capybara plushie I bought after I got my new Totoro tattoo?"
—u/mazokugirl451
19."I went to two concerts in the last week."
—u/whatifdog_wasoneofus
20."I can lie in bed all day if I'm sick."
—u/ultrasagittarius
21."I watch cartoons because I want to, not because I have to."
—u/LittleBraveButton
22."My only worry while flying is if I'm sitting near somebody else's kid."
—u/ironwheatiez
And finally, this heartfelt admission follwed by a hilarious response:
23."I just do whatever I want when I want. I just had cereal for a wee snack. Had a bath. Watching Big Brother. In the morning, I'll have enough money to go get coffee and breakfast. Then I can just go shopping or see friends after work. However, I'd love nothing more than to have a little one to get ready and love."
—u/lidlbitalexis
"You can rent one of mine."—u/lostinthewild07
What are your subtle or not-so-subtle signs that scream "I do not have children"? Tell me in the comments!
Note: Some responses have been edited for length/clarity.
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