Asking These 5 Questions Will Instantly Make You Sound Classy, According to an Etiquette Expert
Social settings, for some of us, can cause us to overthink. Whether we tend to be stuck in a "fawn response" of people-pleasing (does it sound familiar to suddenly wonder if someone's subtle body language or quick comment means they're mad at you?) or we simply want to impress the group we're around, there can be self-inflicted pressure to "get it right" when it comes to conversing with others.Maybe you're about to attend a fancy work dinner with your partner, or you're thinking about joining a new social group. Whatever the occasion, you might be imagining how you want to come across, and the word that comes to mind is 'classy.'The good news is that it's actually not too hard. An etiquette expert helps us explore exactly what that word means and gives examples of questions you can ask that will instantly put you in the 'classy' category. Get ready to be inspired for your next dinner party or casual outing!Related: 10 Things Classy Women Never, Ever Do in Public, According to an Etiquette Expert
What Makes a Person Sound Classy?
If you look up synonyms of the word 'classy,' you'll find words like 'elegant,' 'sophisticated,' and 'stylish,' which elicit pictures of clothes (at least for me). But how do you apply that definition to conversations? Here's how an etiquette expert would describe it.'I believe being classy is being a warm, welcoming person while honoring your own boundaries, and being authentic without being inappropriately overly intimate with others,' says Jenny Dreizen, co-founder and COO of Fresh Starts Registry, author of Simple Scripts to Support Your People, and a professional boundaries and etiquette expert. 'This means being active in conversation, inquisitive, nonjudgmental and curious.'Generally speaking, that might look like asking people about themselves. But what are some specific examples?Related: 14 Phrases That Make You Sound 'Instantly Uptight,' According to Etiquette Experts
5 Questions That Make You Sound Classy, According to an Etiquette Expert
To make being classy easier, Dreizen shares some go-to questions that hit the mark.
1. 'I'd love for you to tell me more about that.'
Dreizen speaks to how this question engages a person deeper, shows your interest in them and their interests, and makes them feel welcomed with your warmth.When someone shows genuine interest in what you have to say and what you like, you can't help but feel special and important, right? No wonder this question is so classy.Related:
2. 'What's been exciting you recently?'
This question is another way to show curiosity and interest in a person, Dreizen says, which helps establish a relationship of reciprocal interest. It's a positive conversation starter, and it doesn't necessarily have to do with the typical go-to (AKA work).
3. 'What's the best piece of advice you've ever received?'
'This allows someone to tell you about their history while also getting further insight into how their mind works,' Dreizen explains. 'It will open up so many avenues of connection too!' For example, you might connect over something meaningful you learned from your grandma or core values you share.Related: 7 Phrases That Instantly Make You Sound Classy, According to Etiquette Experts
4. 'How are you taking care of yourself right now?'
By asking a question like this, Dreizen says, you learn about how someone recovers and what their world looks like right now. 'It shows genuine care and curiosity,' she explains.This can also be helpful in the future if you want to further the friendship. For example, if they say they like to go on walks, you could ask them to go on a walk with you sometime. Or, if they don't like to cook when they're stressed, you could bring them a meal before a major presentation at work.Related: 'I've Been an Etiquette Expert for 13 Years—Here's the #1 Phrase to End Small Talk Without Making It Awkward'
5. 'What movie do you think fundamentally changed your brain chemistry?'
This question also allows you to get to know someone and their worldview, and it's just plain fun. 'It tells you a lot about their taste, past and who they are today,' Dreizen says. 'It shows a genuine curiosity about them.'
And who knows, maybe by asking, you'll learn a life lesson (or find a new comfort movie) in the process.
At the end of the day, remember this: Being classy isn't about being exclusive, and it's important to remain true to yourself. To find the right mix, consider asking these inviting questions in your own unique way.
Up Next:Source:
Jenny Dreizen, co-founder and COO of Fresh Starts Registry, author of Simple Scripts to Support Your People, and a professional boundaries and etiquette expert
Asking These 5 Questions Will Instantly Make You Sound Classy, According to an Etiquette Expert first appeared on Parade on Aug 13, 2025
This story was originally reported by Parade on Aug 13, 2025, where it first appeared.
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