Dear Abby: My boyfriend won't divorce his wife

Yahoo9 hours ago

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I recently moved out of state. His only living relative, a sister, recently came to visit. She has never been married. She is a retired professional and has a good retirement, especially since she has no children.
During her visit, she gave us a housewarming greeting card with a $50 Visa gift card. This was unusual as she has never in 50 years given us money. (She's very tight with her money and always insists on paying for her part of any restaurant bill separately.)
While she was here, I made a comment about her paying for a $5 coffee for her brother, and she became highly offended. (I knew she would be, so I kind of goaded her.) She then mentioned the $50 gift card she gave us and said I probably didn't even tell her brother about it even though he was in the room when she gave it to us.
We don't need her money, and I want to mail it back to her and say thanks for the thought, but we don't need it. What do you think I should do? — THANKS, NO THANKS, IN FLORIDA
DEAR THANKS: Really? I think that rather than try to create more problems with your sister-in-law, you should write her and apologize for your comment about the $5 coffee. Instead of returning the gift card, be gracious and accept it. Shame on you for knowingly stirring the pot.
DEAR ABBY: I'm a widow. My partner died 10 months ago. We were together for seven years but never married. I have now found a partner who is 12 years younger than I am. We love each other and want to be married. My problem is, he is only separated from his wife. He says he doesn't want her and he hates her because she betrayed him. They are getting a divorce, but if I stay with him, I feel that I'll be stepping between them. What should I do — stay and hope for the best, or leave him? — IN THE MIDDLE IN MASSACHUSETTS
DEAR IN THE MIDDLE: This romance is in its infancy. You have been widowed for only 10 months. There's wisdom in the adage that after a trauma like the one you have suffered, a person should make no important decisions for a year.
Has this man or his wife filed the divorce papers, or is he only thinking about it? If the papers have been filed, then you are not coming between him and his wife. Divorce can also be traumatic, and, frankly, I am surprised that this man would contemplate remarriage before his divorce is final. Rather than decide whether to leave him, take your time and see how this relationship plays out.
DEAR READERS: Happy Father's Day to fathers everywhere — birth fathers, stepfathers, adoptive and foster fathers, grandfathers and all of you caring men who mentor children and fill the role of absent dads.
P.S. Also, a big shout-out to dual-role moms. I applaud you all — today and every day. — LOVE, ABBY
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at http://www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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Widow Demands Her Kids Get a Share of Late Husband's Ashes Despite His Dying Wish Stating Otherwise

Yahoo

an hour ago

Yahoo

Widow Demands Her Kids Get a Share of Late Husband's Ashes Despite His Dying Wish Stating Otherwise

Her father wanted her to have half his ashes, while the other half would go to his wife Despite legal protection of his wishes, her stepmother keeps harassing her to divide her portion She's accused of punishing her half-siblings, but says she's just honoring her dad — and protecting her peaceA woman turns to the Reddit community for support after a deeply personal family dispute over her late father's ashes leaves her feeling conflicted and alone. In her post, she shares that her dad's passing has reopened old wounds, especially regarding her relationship with his second wife and their children. 'My dad died recently and he appointed his brother, my uncle, to ensure his final wishes were respected,' she writes. She explains that her father was married twice: first to her mother, who passed away when she was 3, and then to his second wife, whom he married when she was 15. The relationship with her stepmother was never easy, and the arrival of her half-siblings did little to bridge the gap. 'Dad and I had a solid relationship but she and I did not and I really never had one with the other kids either,' the woman reveals. Her father's final wishes were clear and carefully planned. 'His wishes were for half his ashes to go to his wife so she could start a grave for them and the other half was for me so he could also be with mom,' she explains, adding, 'My mom was cremated too and I have her ashes as well.' This arrangement, however, did not sit well with her father's widow, who tried to claim all the ashes for herself. 'But my dad had planned everything and had legally ensured his wishes were followed with the help of my uncle,' she notes, grateful for the foresight that protected her father's intentions. After the funeral, she made the difficult decision to cut off contact with her stepmother in an attempt to seek peace and closure for herself. Regardless, her stepmom has contacted her "at least 11 times," saying that she "needs to share my half of the ashes with my half-siblings because they have none and we each have half." She tried to block her stepmother, but the messages kept coming from new numbers, making it impossible to escape the pressure. 'I am trying to get my number changed but I use this phone for work too so I need a process of approval to do it,' she explains. Her aunt, her father's sister, also got involved in the conflict, suggesting that they "combine dad's ashes and split them four ways so everyone gets the same amount." When the poster said no, her aunt said that she "shouldn't take my hatred of wife number two out on the kids." Never miss a story — sign up for to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories. The aunt also voiced her disapproval over the poster's decision to cut ties with her stepmom and half-siblings. However, the poster has done her best to make it clear that her boundaries are about self-preservation, not spite. Now she's wondering if her refusal to share her half of her father's ashes makes her the villain in this painful family saga. However, most commenters suggested that her stepmom simply shares her portion of the ashes with their children, noting that it's not the poster's "responsibility." "You share my thoughts," the poster replied. "It makes more sense that way seeing as they're her kids and she wants them to have their own share." In response to another user, the woman further explains that her late dad "wanted to honor both [his] wives," which was why "he chose to have his ashes with both." Read the original article on People