Sam Fender is a rare solution to the fight against toxic masculinity

Metro

17-06-2025

Newcastle's St James' Park was a sea of black and white this weekend. But this time, flags were not waving for Eddie Howe's Toon Army, but a 30-year-old lad from North Shields called Sam Fender, who by now, everyone – even Southerners – have heard of.
Fender is nothing short of a local hero. No other artist has the ability to galvanise a whole city into uniformed celebration like Fender does with Newcastle.
More importantly, though: he's making boys cry.
In the crowd on Thursday's opening night of the Seventeen Going Under hitmaker's homecoming weekend, I rolled my eyes on seeing we had landed next to a group of teenage boys who were probably the most drunk they'd ever been.
There was no escape, as they flung themselves around, pissing on the ground to dodge the queues (which were 100,000x worse for women, by the way), and slobbering as they swayed.
Harmless kids, I knew, when I heard one tell the other off for swearing – 'There's kids here!' – before, in classic Geordie style, a bald man informed them, 'You are the kids!' as a chuckle of appreciation spread to those nearby.
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But understanding turned into tenderness for these lost, foolish boys, when Spit of You rang around the arena, and a thundering chorus of bass, tenor and alto voices joined in. It's a song about boys and their dads.
'I can talk to anyone, I can't talk to you,' boomed throughout the arena, and these boys sobbed.
'Come here ya dafty,' said one, hugging his friend, who at this point was inconsolable. It was refreshing – and surprising – to see young boys embracing each other and pouring their hearts out like us girls have done for so many years.
While we'll never know what in their own lives triggered this overflow of emotion, Fender has clearly found the male heartstring with his guitar pick.
He does it time and time again with his lyrics, in Seventeen Going Under when he talks of his younger self 'spiralling in silence', in Dead Boys, and The Borders.
Other male musicians have shown their emotions, sure – with Lewis Capaldi opening up about his mental health and Robbie Williams getting real with fans in tender documentaries and heartfelt films. Ed Sheeran is also a young Brit being real about his feelings. But, let's face it: Robbie is for the women more than the men. Lewis Capaldi and Ed are for both.
Here's the difference: while many women enjoy Fender, his most evocative songs are speaking largely to men.
They desperately need this. And he knows it: Fender embraces his role as defacto mouthpiece for forgotten working class boys.
This became clear in his recent interview with The Times, in which he discussed the topic of toxic masculinity, while many famous men would go wide-eyed and quiet at the topic.
In it, Fender sparked controversy by saying this country's failure to examine class as a privilege, like we do with white, male and straight privilege, is leading these impressionable young boys to 'demagogues like Andrew Tate'.
The People Watching hitmaker emphasised that 'white boys from nowhere towns' are being fed a 'narrative' where they're 'being shamed all the time and made to feel like they're a problem'.
'People preach to some kid in a pit town in Durham who's got f*** all and tell him he's privileged? Then Tate tells him he's worth something? It's seductive,' he said.
It's a sweeping statement: it's problematic to assume boys are being pulled like a lifeless rope in a tug of war between sensible discussions about privilege and raging misogyny. They can think, after all.
It is also uncomfortable to think of Fender showing Johnny Depp the bright lights of Newcastle off the back of his ugly defamation trial with Amber Heard (while Depp was cleared in the US of allegations of domestic abuse, he was not in UK courts two years prior).
So no: Fender is by no means a perfect role model. He's entirely imperfect. But he's trying – and he's also right.
Working class boys in the North are victims of governmental neglect. They are victims of British classism, just like their sisters. More Trending
The difference is that while teenage girls of any class can furiously bond through tears, Taylor Swift lyrics, and late night sleepover chats in often deeply open friendships, the emotional weight of a teenage boy is carried mostly by him.
I hope this is changing. But it's worth remembering that while these 'white boys from nowhere towns' are more privileged than their sisters, they are also more alone.
If Sam Fender can make boys feel, share, cry and hug like those teenage lads did on Thursday night, we must applaud him.
By doing so, he is one of the most important artists of a generation, not just for boys, but for girls too.
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