The Assessment: A dystopian childbirth thriller that fails to deliver
Earth, at an unspecified future moment, is a barren wasteland; only a skilled professional elite, living in hermetic bubbles, have access to the meagre resources remaining. Mia (Elizabeth Olsen) is a biochemist attempting to reap food sustainably, while her partner Aaryan (Himesh Patel) designs virtual pets. They live by the sea, all alone, in a cool concrete home which production designer Jan Houellevigue fills with eye-catching décor (a Mondrian stained glass window; needlessly giant sofas).
They want a child. This is no simple process: to meet the state's legal requirements, it must be grown ex utero using their DNA, but only after a week-long vetting process from a visiting inspector. This is the nudgingly named Virginia (Alicia Vikander), who arrives at their door, officious and prim, and immediately creepy in Vikander's Ex Machina mode (though not a robot). Before long, she's nosing her way into their bedroom, to take notes even while they're having oral sex.
It's when this stalkerish interloper poses as an impossible toddler – which she does for most of the next six days – that the film's ridiculousness gets insurmountable. She erodes the couple's patience, stomps on it, chews it up, spits it out. This is meant to be an extreme tensile test for their suitability to have a child, but also proves a nails-on-a-chalkboard ordeal for the viewer – all tantrums, scuttling tension.
The passive-aggressive combat between the two women is enough to make future collaborations between Vikander and Olsen a prospect to hide from. In the third act, Virginia becomes wantonly destructive, Patel is the victim of a pretentious rape scene, and we get answers only in a well-played but maddeningly belated face-off at the assessor's place of work.
The script is credited to three people, two of them married, and none of them the first-time director, Fleur Fortuné. Her film feels icily disengaged from other people's ideas, pondering them at a remove – as an opportunity for the actors, a costume brief, a means to an end.
It certainly locks us out, which is a shame, as the emotive potential of the concept was right there. Mia and Aaryan don't seem desperate enough, they're hard to care about, and the stakes of the story are correspondingly feeble. The Assessment makes a great case for not having a child as a dystopian fashion accessory, but who's arguing?
15 cert, 115 min; on Amazon Prime Video now
Hashtags
Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles
Daily Mail
an hour ago
- Daily Mail
The real reason Chris Hemsworth and Elsa Pataky are spending so much time apart as she misses out on his A-list birthday bash in Ibiza
Elsa Pataky and Chris Hemsworth have raised eyebrows in recent weeks after spending time apart. The pair have been on separate continents in recent days, with Elsa back home in Australia's Byron Bay with their kids while Chris has been celebrating his 42nd birthday by partying with his celebrity pals in Ibiza. On Tuesday, Chris revealed the real reason he's been far from his wife in recent weeks - he's been hard at work. In an Instagram Stories post, the Australian actor shared a behind-the-scenes look at the Romanian crew on his Disney Plus series Limitless: Live Better Now, indicating that he's been busy filming the series around the world. While Chris has been away, on Monday, Elsa was on parenting duty as she picked up smoothies with the couple's young son. While the Spanish actress, 49, handles parenting duty solo, Chris rang in his 42nd birthday in spectacular style over the weekend - partying with an entourage of A-list friends in Ibiza. The Thor star appeared to be having the time of his life as he celebrated with a lunch at celebrity hotspot Casa Jondal and a cruise on a luxury boat with a star-studded guest list, including brothers Liam and Luke Hemsworth, Matt Damon, pop sensation Rita Ora and her husband, director Taika Waititi, and Patrick and Pia Whitesell. Elsa stayed on the other side of the world in Australia, after returning home from her native Spain. The mother-of-three looked somewhat downcast on Friday while running her errands as she ferried a box of goods from the shops to her car and took what appeared to be a tense phone call. Meanwhile, 15,853km away, the atmosphere was electric as Chris and his famous friends enjoyed the birthday bash on Sunday amid the sparkling Ibiza waters. Although Elsa did not accompany her husband at the celebration, she did share a sweet birthday tribute to him on social media on Monday - his actual birthday. Alongside a throwback photo of her embracing Chris, Elsa wrote some heartfelt words: 'Happy Birthday to my Rocky Balboa. You're the best of the best.' It comes after Chris and Elsa spent most of the European summer apart. Elsa was in her native Spain for weeks, filming her new TV series, Matices. Meanwhile, Chris was travelling, even attending the final day of Wimbledon without his wife. Chris also enjoyed a beachside escape in Hossegor, France, with his longtime personal trainer and best mate Luke Zocchi, while Elsa enjoyed her own holiday in her native Spain. They later reunited in July for the Thor star's new National Geographic series, Limitless: Live Better Now, with twin sons, Tristan and Sasha, 11, in London. The couple tied the knot during the Christmas holidays in 2010. The Hemsworths have made Byron Bay their home in recent years, after relocating from Los Angeles to Australia nine years ago.
Spectator
4 hours ago
- Spectator
John Boyne and the bitter truth about the Polari Prize
The news that the Polari Prize for LGBTQ+ writing is not to be awarded this year after outrage that the novelist John Boyne was included on the longlist represents one of the more head-scratching reversals that the world of books has seen in a considerable time. Boyne's novel Earth was selected on merit, but the Irish author, who proudly describes himself as a 'Terf' and has dared to be photographed with JK Rowling, the nemesis of the trans movement, was swiftly pilloried as soon as the longlist was announced on 1 August. Judges resigned in disgust, other longlisted writers called Boyne's views 'disgusting' and 'abhorrent' and an open letter, signed by 800 people, was circulated condemning both the author and the prize for daring to even consider him at all. Initially the organisers attempted to stand firm, arguing that: 'Even within our community, we can at times hold radically different positions on substantive issues. This is one of those times.' Boyne, who made a dignified public statement attesting to the 'extraordinary amount of bullying and intimidation' that he had faced as a result of the longlisting, did not offer to withdraw from contention altogether, but instead asked that the judges not consider his book for the shortlist. This proved inadequate, and the Polari organisers therefore bowed to the inevitable and cancelled this year's prize altogether, depriving someone who could have done with it. Quite where the award goes in future years is anyone's guess. The existence of the Polari Prize has always been a good thing in terms of its giving exposure – and, of course, a much-needed sum of cash – to writers who might often be marginalised in wider circles. Yet the nature of the award also means that well-established household names such as Alan Hollinghurst – and, of course, Boyne – are going to be competing with lesser-known writers on what is hardly the same playing field. Since the prize was first established in 2011, by the author Paul Burston, the debate around LGBTQ+ writing has only intensified; the question is no longer what it is, and more what it should be. Hence the organisers' statement that they have 'decided to pause the prize this year while we increase the representation of trans and gender non-conforming judges on the panels.' There are different ways of approaching this vexed issue. It might seem fairer not to attempt to award a competitive prize on literary merit and instead to divert the funds into a grant specifically designed for the kind of writers who would benefit most from financial assistance of this kind. Otherwise, the suspicion will remain that the winners in future are not being given the prizes for the quality of their books, and more because they have the right public profile. Yet as the vehemently pro-Boyne faction have shown on social media, this is hardly a fight in which there is only one side, and it would not be too surprising if a wealthy benefactor attempted to fund an anti-trans literature prize as a deliberate snub to the Polari. Chaos, whatever happens, seems assured. Writers are making less and less money with every year that goes past. Publishers' advances are declining, book sales are falling and the opportunities for exposure, decent or otherwise, are dwindling. Once, selling a thousand copies of a novel was seen as pathetic, even career-threatening; now, it's an admirable standard to aim for. It is a depressing side-effect of this very public ruckus that it has contributed to a sense of the literary world being one that is irrevocably split and in thrall to sensational publicity, rather than good writing. Alas, the time to celebrate writers, and their work, rather than their pronouns or who they're photographed drinking champagne with, may well have passed. The road to hell is paved with good intentions.
The Independent
4 hours ago
- The Independent
Kate Ferdinand on her chaotic and ‘special' life with Rio and their five kids
With five children aged between two and 19, Kate Ferdinand admits family life is 'special and crazy and loving and loud'. The former The Only Way is Essex (TOWIE) cast member, who has two young children with her husband, the former footballer Rio Ferdinand, and is stepmum to his three teenage children, happily agrees family life, and particularly mealtimes, is chaotic – and very special too. 'The chaos!' she says with a laugh. 'There's five kids and it's so loud I can't even tell you, you can't even hear yourself think. There's a lot of over-stimulation. But also, it's so special and crazy and loving and loud and everything that you could wish it to be. 'The bond between the kids is amazing.' Ferdinand married former England and Manchester United captain Rio in 2019, becoming stepmum to his three children Lorenz, now 19, Tate, 17, and Tia, 14, from his first marriage to Rebecca Ellison, who died of breast cancer in 2015 at the age of just 34. Kate also has two children – Cree, aged four, and Shae, two, with Rio, and founded a podcast, Blended, to 'celebrate' blended families. The two eldest boys are both footballers for Brighton & Hove Albion and live away from home, but Ferdinand says they both come home regularly and she tries to make sure the whole family sits down for meals together whenever possible. 'Sitting at the table and having dinner is a massive thing in our house – I feel like it's massive for talking,' she explains. 'It's where everything comes out, where you reconnect after the day, but it doesn't happen every single night, because obviously the big boys don't live at home any more because they play football. 'We're a very sporty household and our kids have a lot of clubs, so it's near impossible to get everyone there every night.' The Ferdinand's aren't alone in finding it tough to all get together for dinner – new research from HelloFresh has found almost one in three (31.8%) of parents questioned say their children's hobbies and club schedules make it difficult to share dinner together midweek, and the the situation gets worse once school term begins again, with 62% of parents saying mealtimes feel 'more squeezed'. But, like Ferdinand, more than half of parents (55%) agree that shared mealtimes are beneficial for children's development and a great chance for the family to reconnect. So Ferdinand has teamed up with HelloFresh to encourage families to set aside at least one night a week to sit down together for a family meal. 'We eat together when we're all at home – we sit at the table, that's part of our family routine,' Ferdinand says. 'Don't get me wrong. The little ones are wanting to run off, but I try and be quite firm with it. They have to ask to leave the table, and they've got to take their plate up. It's quite funny, Shae's only two, and she actually takes her plate up and puts it on the side. 'We all love it because we're all talking at the dinner table – everyone's so busy, but we reconnect. And it's mental, and there's food getting thrown about everywhere, drinks are being spilled. But it's the one time we're all together, normally.' Fortunately, the Ferdinands have an extendable dining table, because as well as the seven family members, she says the boys sometimes bring their girlfriends for dinner, and meals can be for 12-16 people. Kate does the cooking, but she does get help from all the family, including Rio – if she asks for it. 'The kids are great,' she says. 'I have to ask for help, but when I do ask, they help me. We all have our own little jobs – I'll do the cooking, the kids lay the table, they help with the washing up and the tidying up. There's a bit of teamwork, really. 'Rio's very good at seasoning the meat – it's a bit of a collaboration. To be honest, Rio carves for me and then pretends he made the meal. 'But if Rio's home, he'll cook as well. Everyone gets involved.' Even the older boys will lend a hand with cooking, and their proud stepmum says: 'Tate's just turned 17, and he loves cooking. He actually thinks he's better than me. And that's a little debate in our house – I've said cook a few more times for me, and I'll let you know.' She says that while Tate cooks for himself, he's yet to cook a meal for the whole family. 'Everything changes when you're cooking for seven people,' she says. 'When the quantities go up, it becomes a little bit more difficult!' But she hopes he'll give catering for the whole clan a try one day, and says: 'As a parent, you always want to do everything for your kids, and it's only in recent years that I've realised you've really got to let them make mistakes and try stuff themselves and take a step back so they can thrive. 'That's something I used to struggle with, but now I've been doing a bit more of that, and it's paid off so much, because you can just see them thriving in so many aspects of their life.' But with such a busy life as a wife, mum and podcaster, how does Ferdinand herself thrive? Speaking when all the kids are out and the house is peaceful for once, she says: 'Don't get me wrong, it's the summer holidays now, and I'm glad they've gone out so I can make calls for a few hours.' She agrees it's nice to get a bit of peace sometimes, and says: 'Absolutely – I think any parent that doesn't say that might be fibbing.' She occasionally manages to wangle a bit of 'me-time' – although it might take getting up at the crack of dawn to do it. 'It's not a real representation when it's the summer holidays,' she explains. 'But normally when the kids are at school and I'm not working, I'll prioritise doing things like trying to get some me-time – this morning I got up extra-early and took the dog out for a walk at 6.45am just to have a minute. 'Because sometimes I feel like you need to give yourself 10 minutes, even if it's just walking around the block, just to think before the day starts. It's not a half a day in the spa like it was years and years ago, pre-kids, but it's just about finding those moments.' Kate Ferdinand is a Back to School ambassador for the recipe box delivery service HelloFresh and is showing how prioritising just one meal together a week has improved her family's wellbeing.
