Lighten Up: A royal jeep for the farm
And if the truth is to be believed, it's a fine old bus. A wagon that would suit a farmer like you, or me, down to the ground.
Driven by none other than Britain's Queen Elizabeth herself, and probably her butler too sometimes, sure 'tis a yoke that has very little hard pulling done.
Not a jeep, I dare say, that you would have seen down at a cattle mart, tackled to a trailer. Or over at the co-op weighed down with bags of cement, sure, it has no real work done at all, bar carrying a few light-weight dogs around the place.
A Range Rover by name, with 120km on the clock, it sounds like a nice runner that would see you back and forth to the boozer with no bother at all. And with plenty of leg room in the back, I'm telling you, you could become the very popular designated driver over the winter months. They would all be calling on you in their hour of need.
A royal bus would, of course, give you, the driver, a certain air of wealth and prestige. Can you imagine the heads you'd turn in Lisdoonvarna in September if you rocked up in such fashion? I'm telling you, those in search of a wife would have no bother finding one in the queen's old jeep.
Now, before you get too excited about your prospects, the price tag is a little on the steep side, a tad overblown if you ask me, given the age and the mileage.
But that's not to say that a deal couldn't be struck with the royal household, if the right offer came along with speed and enthusiasm.
It will be sold by an auction house towards the end of August, but who's to say that if the right offer came in today, or tomorrow, that the house of Windsor wouldn't spit on the hand and make a deal?
And who's to say that if the offer came in the form of cash, that they might be happy to trim a bit off the price tag?
Cash is king, even when it's to do with the queen
I wouldn't let the asking price of £70,000 throw you off, just like I wouldn't prevent an eager small bull with promise from covering a herd of cows. A firm resolve can overcome a great many obstacles in life.
Drive on, and let the price tag, like a fly on your windscreen, be a thing of little concern.
The Range Rover in question was driven by the queen herself from the years 2006 to 2008, and what it did after this point, I'm not quite sure. But rest assured, I can guarantee no heavy drawing was done.
As sure as you are that the queen had tea every afternoon, the jeep was most likely parked in the shade, or resting gently on four blocks out the back.
I remember years ago, having a car on this farm, very similar to the queen's Range Rover. It had been surplus to requirements for many years, and when the time came to restart her, sure wasn't the battery dead, the tyres perished, and the brakes seized!
Fearful that I might do more harm than good if I tackled the job myself, I went and called in local expertise in the guise of Dec the mechanic. Anyhow, my Corolla was back on the road with tyres spinning and black smoke bellowing in no time.
And I still drive that Corolla today, the years of idleness did her no harm at all.
All I'm saying is to be sure to take the queen's Range Rover for a burn around Buckingham Palace a few times before committing to the purchase.
Nobody in the royal household is expecting you to buy a pig in a poke, so don't be afraid to burn a bit of rubber and raise a few pebbles. It's about time you had the royal treatment.
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