This Woman's Experience With Arranged Marriage Setup Almost Ruined Her Life
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The experience made her realise that job titles and family backgrounds don't always reflect a person's true character.
Arranged marriages have been a long-standing tradition in Indian culture. In the past, families typically considered just a few key factors, such as social status, education and background, when selecting a match. However, times have changed, and today, individuals often have more opportunities to get to know their prospective partners before making a decision.
Recently, a 22-year-old woman shared her personal story after being pressured by her family into an arranged marriage. Although the man they chose appeared respectable and held a well-paying job, she soon uncovered troubling truths about his behaviour.
Apparently, he was controlling, sent unsolicited explicit messages, disregarded consent and displayed clear signs of emotional manipulation. Wanting to understand more, she contacted him through a friend's account and uncovered even more disturbing behaviour. The experience made her realise that job titles and family backgrounds don't always reflect a person's true character.
Taking to Reddit, the woman wrote, 'Arranged Marriage in 2025: Why Girls Need to Do a Full Digital Background Check. I recently posted on Reddit about how I was getting forced into an arranged marriage where nobody was taking my opinion, and somebody dm'ed me saying, 'Be calm and think radically. We live in the digital age, so try checking his online footprint.' So I checked everything, and what I got made me realise just how dangerously unvetted some 'well-placed' men can be. I'm sharing this so more girls can learn to protect themselves."
'The guy had a professional job, looked 'respectable," but in private? Manipulative, emotionally unstable, sending unsolicited nudes, glorifying self-harm, dismissing consent and obsessed with controlling conversations. I used a friend's ID to talk to him, and what we found was disturbing. He sent graphic photos, bragged about watching porn while saying 'It's not a big deal,' and was shockingly pushy and toxic. All this without us ever flirting or asking for any of it. We did not have to even try to open him up. He was just open like an ocean. unhinged," the 22-year-old added.
The woman emphasised that having a prestigious job or coming from a well-known family doesn't necessarily reflect a person's true character. What truly reveals someone's nature, she explained, is how they behave when they believe no one is watching, especially through their online presence. Old Instagram comments, LinkedIn posts, Reddit history, and interactions with strangers online can often uncover sides of a person that aren't immediately visible in real life.
She also warned about emotionally manipulative behaviour, pointing out that some men attempt to gain control by playing with emotions, making others feel guilty or sharing inappropriate and uncomfortable content just to gauge their reaction. These subtle warning signs, she said, should never be ignored.
She concluded her story with some practical advice: it's wise to look into a person's social media presence and do a quick online search of their name. If someone becomes angry or uncomfortable when asked to share their social profiles, that in itself is a red flag. If you're feeling uncertain, she suggested that it's okay to use a secondary or anonymous account to get a clearer picture of who they really are.
She also advised asking serious or challenging questions early in the conversation, as the responses can reveal a lot about a person's mindset and values.
Reacting to the post, a user wrote, 'Stay away, no matter what it takes. I've seen someone go through this, and ten years later, her life is worse than a nightmare. Even her basic needs go unmet. Her family? They know everything but choose to do nothing. No one will, or legally can, come to save you."
Another suggested, 'You can also hire a freelance Cybersecurity expert, he'll dig up a lot more than just Social Media posts/comments."
'Getting forced into a marriage at only 22 is horrible and scary, imo. I'd rather try to find an escape from that," a comment read.
One more added, 'Beware of a manipulative man because I was one of them. Even though I never wanted to be but the things that started from childhood made me like that. I realised it too lately. I did hurt everybody because of that. So beware. If you feel you are being manipulated, leave that relationship immediately. Don't get married if you are not financially independent. 22 is too early."
In today's arranged marriages, things are gradually evolving. Traditionally, families placed greater emphasis on matching backgrounds, cultural values and social status. But now, prospective brides and grooms are often given the opportunity to talk and get to know each other before making a decision.
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