Celebs Go Dating's Anna Williamson says people don't send 'mixed signals'

Daily Mirror

7 hours ago

The therapist and broadcaster shared her take on what's going on when you experience a 'confusing' relationship
Celebs Go Dating's Anna Williamson has shared advice for anyone dealing with a 'confusing' situation in their love life. Taking to her Instagram, the TV dating coach said she often gets questions on the topic.
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The therapist and broadcaster shared: "Typically I reflect back exactly what they are telling me…that they already know the answer, and they need to trust in their gut instinct to tell them what their next decision and action should be. People often live in hope that I'm going to tell them something different.
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"That by me being an 'expert' I might see something more hopeful for them… occasionally I do, but I will always reflect and offer my thoughts honestly (but I never judge) and I don't tell you just tell you want you want to hear, because you deserve better."
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Anna added: "If somebody is giving you mixed messages, they aren't committing to wanting to see you, they are being inconsistent and they are leaving things feeling vague and noncommittal…. then they are not ready. They are not ready for a relationship and they aren't ready for you.
"We often want to make things 'fit'…because we like them, they're 'mostly nice', and we 'can't be bothered' to start the dating process again…. We can make excuses for them, give them the benefit of the doubt one too many times… but essentially you can't lie to yourself.
"I know it's hard, I know it stings, but you really are worth more. Don't settle for breadcrumbs, you want to be going for the whole goddamn club sandwich!!"
Expanding on her advice in her video, Anna added: "If somebody wants to see you, they'll let you know. If you're a priority that they wanna make in their life, they'll show you. If, however, all they do is text you but don't actually make any plans, they really don't wanna see you that much. There's no confusing behaviour here. They're not giving you mixed signals or leading you on.
"You're confusing yourself by making assumptions on things that just aren't there. You're thinking, oh, well, he said this, so maybe it means this, or perhaps it was this that he means. You're getting yourself into a complete tizz because you're guessing instead of actually looking at the hard facts.
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"I get so many people telling me that the person they're texting is really confusing them, and they just don't get where they stand in the whole situation. But let me tell you, dating isn't confusing most of the time."
She said: "The only thing that's confusing is how we confuse ourselves because we won't let people show us that they're not interested. Just let them show you what they do or don't want. If they wanna be with you, they will make plans to see you. They won't just keep texting and never arrange to see you. And the biggest one, if they wanted to commit to you, then they would.
"And if they aren't, they're probably keeping you hanging just to keep their options open. So are they showing you the signs that you want to see? If not, put those boundaries in place and tell them what you need to see in order for this to be a thing. I guarantee you, as soon as you do this, it will become much clearer on who you want to put your energy into."