I never knew being loud & angry was toxic until Ercan asked me 1 thing during a row – it changed me, says Vicky Pattison
VICKY Pattison revealed the one poignant question husband Ercan Ramadan asked her during a petty row which changed her forever.
The reality star, 37, said on Pete Wicks' Man Made podcast how her clothing brand owner partner, 41, has been helping her unlearn 'toxic' habits.
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She shared: 'I had always saw communication from a very young age, being the child of an alcoholic, communication was loud.
'It's often quite scary but you quickly adapt to that, children do.
'I assumed in a relationship when you loved someone, you shouted basically.
'That's how I communicate, I'm angry, I'm loud and I never thought it was toxic. It was what I assumed you did.'
However, former Geordie Shore star Vicky said everything changed when she had a 'little row' with her then-boyfriend six months into their relationship.
She continued: 'Honeymoon period's over. He's seeing the real me.
'I'm not pretending I like football and kebabs anymore, I'm giving him the full Vicky Pattison experience which is terrifying.
'I remember we had this little row and I instantly escalated it because that's what I did.'
Vicky said that the sentence that Ercan said to her made her rethink her behaviour in relationships.
She explained: 'He stood there really quietly and he looked back and said 'why are you shouting at me when you're meant to love me?'
Vicky Pattison reveals 'difficult' first year of marriage with husband Ercan
'I'm not often speechless and he completely stopped me in my tracks.
'All of my defences, all of my walls, all of my anger, it all just melted away in an instant.
'I was like 'I don't know why', because this is what I have always done and this is what men have always done to me and I didn't know there was another way to communicate even when you loved someone, I thought that's what you did.'
Vicky and Ercan have been together since 2019, and he popped the question in 2022, with the pair tying the knot in Italy in 2024.
Speaking of her husband, the TV and radio star said: 'Ercan's taught me an awful lot about what a healthy relationship should look like, what communication can be, what a man can be.'
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TOUGH YEAR
Despite only getting married in August 2024, Vicky has previously opened up about it being a difficult first year.
Speaking to the BBC's Woman's Hour, she said: "I don't think it's how anyone anticipates their first six months of marriage, you know, it's a very alien experience.
"I mean it has been difficult, I have been frustrated, I have been upset and I have been overwhelmed quite a lot.
He [Ercan] stood there really quietly and he looked back and said 'why are you shouting at me when you're meant to love me?'
Vicky Pattison
"So even without thinking about the deepfake itself, I haven't been a joy to live with quite frankly and I do feel for my husband but he's very supportive."
Vicky was referring to her husband supporting her as she faced backlash over her deepfake porn documentary called My Deepfake Sex Tape, which some victims criticised as a 'PR stunt' and 'deeply disrespectful'.
The documentary involved her directing actors to simulate a sex scene, then allowing AI to add her face to the footage.
FUTURE KIDS
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She previously opened up to OK! Magazine about her views on having children with Ercan.
Vicky shared: 'Everyone thought we'd try for kids quite quickly – so did we! But we're going to enjoy being married, for at least a year.
'I'd love a honeymoon first! A little week in the Caribbean would be lovely.
"We're just desperate to sleep in the same bed together.
"I sleep with the dogs and he sleeps in the spare room!'
Vicky Pattison's Career History
Geordie Shore (2011-2014): Vicky Pattison first gained public attention as a cast member of the MTV reality series. The show, which premiered in 2011, chronicles the lives of a group of young adults living together in Newcastle upon Tyne. Vicky quickly became one of the standout personalities on the show due to her outspoken nature. She remained a key cast member until her departure in 2014.
Ex on the Beach (2014): In 2014, Vicky Pattison joined the first ever season of Ex on the Beach, an MTV reality series that brings together singles and their ex-partners for a dramatic beachside experience. She navigated complicated relationships and explosive confrontations, particularly with her ex-boyfriend, Ricci Guarnaccio, who also appeared on the series. Vicky's time on the show was marked by her outspoken nature and candid approach to resolving past romantic issues.
I'm a Celebrity...Get Me Out of Here! (2015): In 2015, Vicky participated in the fifteenth series of I'm a Celebrity…Get Me Out of Here!, where she emerged as the winner. Her down-to-earth personality and resilience throughout the series won over both viewers and critics, significantly boosting her popularity.
Celebrity MasterChef (2019): Vicky showcased a different side of her personality as she competed in the celebrity cooking competition. She made it to the final after demonstrating her culinary skills, and later joked that her family fell out with her because they "think I've been able to cook for years and have just hidden it".
Loose Women (2015 - 2019): The celeb made appearances as a guest panelist on the show, but later criticised the production team for encouraging her to 'push' guests to open up on emotional topics when they were on the verge of tears. Vicky ended up in tears on the chat show herself in 2016, when she participated in an experiment about self image. The star could be seen breaking down as she listened back to a video where she listed all the negative comments she makes to herself in her mind.
This Morning: Made several guest appearances. In one she spoke about being traumatised by her break up with fiancé John Noble, and in another Vicky delved into a personal documentary she made about alcoholism.
Second-Hand Showdown: Vicky currently hosts the fashion show on Channel 4.
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