Money Diary: A Communications Freelancer On £17,500
Welcome to Money Diaries where we are tackling the ever-present taboo that is money. We're asking real people how they spend their hard-earned money during a seven-day period — and we're tracking every last penny.
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This week:"I'm a 46-year-old Marketing Manager/Communications Freelancer working in the charity and arts sector in the North West of England and Wales. This is great for me as I have farming family in Wales and I get to have country breaks with them to decompress. I've been with my partner, A, for 21 years. He is an amazing man who has supported me so much. My partner would have loved kids and would be an amazing dad, but I don't think my fragile mental health would cope with parenthood. I have Bipolar 1, which has really impacted my earning power over the years, whilst, conversely, triggering some quite incredible spending. I was looking at a yacht at one point. During the last big episode in 2018, I had psychosis because of a horribly pressurised job where I headed up a team. I decided it was a great idea to book a £4,000 yoga retreat in Portugal. I don't even like yoga. One of my team had to get on the phone to the retreat and cancel it. Above and beyond his job description! I've now left all thoughts of high-powered jobs behind as that style of work isn't for me. I'm well at the moment, but stress can trigger relapses, so I avoid it all costs. I'm a saver these days, manage money well, but I do treat myself too."
Occupation: Marketing Manager/Freelancer
Industry: Arts/Charity
Age: 46
Location: Manchester
Salary: £9,600, plus variable freelance earnings (last year it was about £8,000). With this, I use my savings for treats and holidays and pay for household repairs and the boring stuff.
Paycheque Amount: £800
Number of housemates: One, A, my partner of 21 years.
Pronouns: She/her
Monthly Expenses
Housing costs: I give £300 for mortgage and bills, which goes to A as he manages household accounts. I concentrate on managing my money. Our mortgage is £112 a month, with seven years to go. We know how fortunate we are to be in this situation.
Loan payments: 0.
Savings: £17,973.97 ISA, £150 rainy day account, £448 holiday account, £1,000 easy access savings, £8,747.93 Offset account for the mortgage. This is my contribution, hence our low mortgage. I overpay from freelance earnings when I can. A chips in, too. He has a fixed income, but it's not huge as he works for a charity.
Pension? I'm going to be very poor. I have two university pensions, but I have no idea how much. I need to check. I was feckless with money due to mental health when I was younger and didn't think a pension was 'useful'. I stand to inherit some money, I've got some money in trust and A has a good pension. I'm aware this is not a good situation.
Utilities: Covered under £300 to A.
All other monthly payments: £10.33 SIM only, £25 credit card payment. My credit card debt is £673.13 at a 0% rate until 2026. I throw spare freelance money at it all the time to top it up. Subscriptions: £6.99 Netflix, £0.99 Apple storage, £11.45 prescription, £12.99 Readlly for my newspaper/magazine habit.
Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
I got a good maintenance grant, my folks helped me out now and again and I had a very low student loan of about £3,000, which is paid off. I worked every university holiday and in term time. I earned between £3 - £3.50 an hour for factory work, bar work and working at a cinema. At my 'elite' university, all my friends had a lot of money. Working during term time wasn't 'allowed' without your tutor's permission, which was frankly ridiculous and this didn't acknowledge people from poorer backgrounds. I still grind my teeth about this.
Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money?
We were lower middle class. Money was tight, but my parents prioritised getting a biggish house for four kids and camping holidays in France. They were very savvy about money, whilst I spent money like water and did not listen to advice.
If you have, when did you move out of your parents/guardians house?
I was 19. I had a breakdown just before my third year when I was 22 and went home for a year. It wasn't a great time.
At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself? Does anyone else cover any aspects of your financial life?
I was 24 when I finally completed my degree. My partner and I have taken turns supporting each other — when I've been ill, when he was a mature student and when we've been between jobs. It's worked out well and has strengthened our relationship.
What was your first job and why did you get it?
I had a pub job in my local when I was 16, collecting glasses. I then got 'promoted' to bar work when I was 18 for £2.50 an hour. I wanted money to spend on clothes, records, and gigs.
Do you worry about money now?
Yes. The worry is caused by bipolar, as it can affect my ability to work. I was £60,000 in debt due to bipolar spending (which is common), but I paid it off, thanks to my friend J. She organised my (many) debt repayments and gave me £70 spending money a month, for which I'm eternally grateful. I now have savings and an excellent credit record. Our outgoings are low and we still manage to get weekends away and foreign holidays each year, which is good for my mental health. I count my blessings.
Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income?
I got £7,000 from my aunt. My cousin didn't want any money from her abusive mother and gave it to me, which was so generous of her. I put the money into our mortgage and a holiday. I received £3,000 from my grandmother. I wasted that. There's some money in trust which is £15,000 from my dad. I have no idea when I will get my hands on that (when my mum dies, I think). A also received £17,000 from his mum.
Day One
8:30 a.m. — Wake up and faff. Last week, I had a horrible working week when a colleague screamed at me. It's cast a big shadow and I feel weird and I'm not sleeping, which is a big no-no for bipolar. But we're going out today to an Irish Festival as A is Irish.
10:30 a.m. — Get the bus into town, I pay for us both, £4.
11 a.m. — Grab some coffee beans from The Mexican Coffee Company. A pays.
12 p.m. — Head to Selfridges. Buy a beautiful Penhaligons' perfume atomiser, which the lovely assistant fills up with perfume. Perfume is my thing and guaranteed to give me a lift after last week's dreadful working week. A offers to pay, but I pay, £35.
12:30 p.m. — Head to the pub and get two rounds of Guinness Zero. I pay,£20.
2:30 p.m. — Watch the parade.
3 p.m. — Have a carafe of wine in an amazing wine bar. A pays.
5 p.m. — Get Thai for lunch and split the bill. We get some doggy bags at the end to take home and my share comes to £43.95.
7 p.m. — Back to the wine bar. I pay for two glasses of lush wine, £18.
8 p.m. — Uber home. A pays.
8:30 p.m. — Turn on Netflix and watch some terribly forgettable films.
10:30 p.m. — Lights out. Sleep.
Total: £120.95
Day Two
8 a.m. — Up. I still feel bad about last week. I make coffee with my lockdown coffee machine, Luigi. The Mexican coffee beans are gorgeous (and we drink a lot of coffee).
8:15 a.m. — I open my bank App. Ouch. I spent a lot of money yesterday. I check my account every day, which is a good habit.
9 a.m. — I reluctantly start work. There is so much to do. I work two days a week for pay well below my grade, but it's easy.
1:45 p.m. — This job is vile. I eat a sandwich at my desk whilst reading a report.
2 p.m. — Lie on the bed with an audiobook — Small Fires — which I got on the free library app, BorrowBox.
3 p.m. — My friend K phones. I was broken last week, but we end up screaming with laughter. We should be on the stage. It would be a good side hustle.
4 p.m. — Write my bit of a funding bid for a client.
6 p.m. — Cook lentil and potato curry with naans and samosas from the cupboard. We're trying to eat healthily and cheaply.
7 p.m. — Head to my bed with more audiobook.
9 p.m. — It is a false economy with audiobooks. I fall asleep and miss the story, meaning I am bound to buy the Kindle book in the AM (boo, Amazon). Sleep again.
Day Three
8 a.m. — Listen to the news. I pull the duvet over my head in horror. I don't buy the book. Winning.
9 a.m. — I do my accounts as I'm determined to get a handle on my tax for this year.
10 a.m. — Self-care with a bath and Woman's Hour. Rage at misogyny.
12 p.m. — I fire up the laptop. I'm doing a freelance theatre job with a producer, L, who is one ace woman. In between planning a marketing campaign, booking ads, liaising with venues and writing copy, I'm texting with my friend J. He's also having a bad time at work. How difficult is it to be civilised in the workplace?
6:30 p.m. — It was a productive day. It is great working with L, who lives by the motto 'work hard and be nice to people'.
7 p.m. — A cooks ravioli, garlic bread and salad from the fridge. Watch the news. The world has gone mad.
8 p.m. — Watch The Leopard on Netflix, a sublime sub-titled Italian costume drama.
10 p.m. — Bed. Scroll through Italian holidays. In years past, I would have booked something pricey within 10 minutes. I manage to sleep, but I toss and turn all night.
Day Four
6:15 a.m. — Three hours sleep. This is not good. Sleep is imperative to me. I'm still dealing with the aftermath of last week. I'm fretting a lot.
7 a.m. — Shower and then have a fantastic coffee from the Mexican beans, plus two yellow stickered hot cross buns (of course).
7:45 a.m. — Enjoy a sunshine-filled walk to the bus stop which cheers me up. Get the bus to see my charity client, £2.
8:45 a.m. — Nip to B&M and buy two Spice Tailor curry kits for £1.87.
9 a.m. — The senior managers are away, but the young project team, B, M, and S, are in, so there's a lot of laughter. They view me as Yoda (full of wisdom), which is daft but funny. I'm working on a new website for them.
12:45 p.m. — Lunch of last night's leftovers. Full marks.
3 p.m. — I crumble and nip to the cafe next door for lemon drizzle cake, latte and biscuits for the gang, £6.50.
5:30 p.m. — Get the bus home, £2.
6:15 p.m. — A cooks ravioli from the fridge. Convinced he has shares in that particular pasta company.
7 p.m. — We watch the news. We rant at the friendly newsreader on the TV. Poor lady.
8 p.m. — I mistakenly read an email from my toxic workplace and read it to A. A never swears. He swears.
9 p.m. — Go to bed. Mulling over the work situation. I need to stay in the role as I need the regular money. But my trust is gone. Sleep.
Total: £12.37
Day Five
9 a.m. — The most excellent sleep. Have two hot cross buns from the stash (the stash is now finished). Gutted.
10 a.m. — I do some life admin of looking at any financial savings I can make, plus browse for a holiday for later in the year. A & I split holidays, although in the past I've bought them outright when I've felt flush. Then we always do a kitty together on Revolut for spending.
1 p.m. — K phones. Epic rant interspersed by hysterical laughter. She's been researching bipolar in the workplace and my rights. Legend.
2 p.m. — Do some more work on the funding bid.
4 p.m. — Get up, scrub up with a full face of make-up and actual clothes, as I'm going to the theatre show I've been working on. The performer, E, name-checked me in a radio interview yesterday. I daydream about a Hollywood career as a hotshot PR. LA house, the Oscars, swimming pool etc. Park that idea.
5:30 p.m. — Get the bus into Manchester, £2.
8 p.m. — Meet friend K. Buy a large wine pre-show, £7. Watch the show.
9:30 p.m. — Drinks and laughs with the team. There's quite a few drinks and it is £38 for my round.
10:30 p.m. — Uber home. Woman penalty. Public transport where I live is rubbish and not always that safe, £7.81.
11 a.m. — Debrief with A. Working on the show has been a roller coaster. Creative people are wonderful but not always easy to work with…
12 p.m. — Sleep.
Total: £54.81
Day Six
9 a.m. — I get a lie-in with a proper sleep and wake up, perky. Air punch. I listen to the news on the radio, swig Mexican coffee, crave hot cross buns (the cupboard is bare), but settle for cereal. Read the newspaper on Readlly. The world HAS gone mad.
11 a.m. — Invoicing and freelance accounts. I will get ahead of myself for year-end.
1 p.m. — Get the bus, £2.
1:30 p.m. — Meet my friend K at the local hospital where she's having some treatment. I buy us coffee and cakes, £10.75.
3 p.m. — K drives us to our fave pub.
3:30 p.m. — We are here for the legendary cheese and onion pie. We are Northerners, after all. I buy two craft lagers she gets 2 x 0% Heinekens. She's in recovery and is amazing. The nights out we used to have…I draw a veil. I'm aware of how I drink sometimes to manage my mood, so I try to rein it in these days. My share is £24 for food and drinks.
6 p.m. — K drives me home.
7 p.m. — Watch TV with A.
10 p.m. — Reflect that I am indeed an adult, as I will attend an event for my 'bad job' tomorrow. I'm also networking to meet potential clients as my exit strategy.
10:30 p.m. — Sleep.
Total: £36.75
Day Seven
9 a.m. — I check my bank app. There is a loyalty payment of £50 from Nationwide. Hurrah. This cheers me up. I advise anyone to shop around for the rewards you can get for moving your current account around. It's easy money. I move some money into my credit card on top of my minimum payment.
11:30 a.m. — Get the bus to an event in a nearby town. I pay for A too, £4.
12:30 p.m. — A is riding shotgun with me in case the shouty colleague will be there. She won't be. Working Saturday is 'too much'. Right-o.
1:30 p.m. — The event is a beautiful celebration of young people. I talk to the artists and see the exhibition in the gallery. I'm very conscious that this is a poor town with poverty all around me. Count my financial good fortune. Get coffee for A & I. He pays.
5:15 p.m. — Head to lunch at our favourite Italian restaurant. Arancini, for starters and then he has a steak as big as his hand. I have spinach ravioli, a Campari spritz and we share a bottle of fab wine. My share is £52.87.
8 p.m. — TV with a reward of some wine from our wine rack. More of The Leopard.
11 p.m. — Sleep.
Total: £65.62
The Breakdown
Conclusion
"That was an expensive week for me. Roughly a quarter of my salary. Eeek. The rest of the month is going to be low-spend! I may top up with some money coming in from a freelance project. I did go out a record-breaking number of four times, which is a lot for me these days, as I am no longer the 'madcap party girl' who was out seven nights a week. I need to get back to the habit of using the notes app on my phone to track my spending and then to work out what's left at the end of the month. Sometimes, when it's a good month, I have some money left and it's very satisfying to put that (however small the amount) into my credit card or savings. I get a buzz out of being better with money. Having a couple of years out of work due to my illness, it's essential that I have a financial cushion if I get ill again, which is always possible."
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A Week In Georgia On A $85,000 Joint Income
Welcome to Money Diaries where we are tackling the ever-present taboo that is money. We're asking real people how they spend their hard-earned money during a seven-day period — and we're tracking every last dollar. Today: an administrative assistant who has an $85,000 joint income and who spends some of her money this week on toilet bowl cleaner. If you'd like to submit your own Money Diary, you can do so via our online form. We pay $150 for each published diary. Apologies but we're not able to reply to every email. Occupation: Administrative assistant Industry: Construction Age: 30 Location: Georgia Salary: $31,500 Joint Income/Financial Setup: $85,000. My husband J. and I share everything equally — all paychecks go into the same account and all bills come out of the same account. (To note: I used averages for our salaries, after tax/401k contributions, and not including overtime. So it's like what we bring home on average if we both work 40 hours). Assets: IRA/401(k) accounts: $60,000 (combined); savings account: $5,000; house value: $330,000 Debt: Mortgage: $310,000 Paycheck Amount (Weekly): $1,650 (combined). Pronouns: She/her Monthly Expenses Housing Costs: $1877 (mortgage). Monthly Loan Payments: $0 Private School Tuition: $890 Medical Insurance: $275 Dental Insurance: $95 Home/Auto Insurance: $185 Internet: $105 Power: ~$250 City: ~$70 (water and trash). Phone Bill: $180 Kids' Extracurriculars: $50 Security System & Subscriptions: $75 (SimpliSafe, Netflix, Disney+, two apps on the kids' iPads). Tithe: 10% of our income. Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it? Not necessarily. My mom made it clear that she wanted all of us to go to college or even technical school, but there was no major push. I went to a private college for one year (paid for with student loans) and dropped out. I always hated school! Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent(s)/guardian(s) educate you about finances? There was no education or discussion on finances growing up, sadly. My parents were not good with money. My father was an addict and spent a lot of our money very impulsively. My first and only education on money came from my economics class in high school. What was your first job and why did you get it? I worked as a cashier at a grocery store at 17. I got the job so I could have my own money and buy cute clothes, lol. It was fun though. It was all high school kids in the evenings so we goofed off A LOT — I'm not sure we deserved the $7.25 and hour we made! Did you worry about money growing up? Absolutely. Our phones and lights were shut off from time to time. My parents fought a lot about it so it caused a lot of anxiety and shame. Do you worry about money now? Yes, it is something I think about more often than I should. Our mortgage is more than 25% of our income and that's not ideal for me, but the housing market is just crappy right now and I'm scared of being house poor. Additionally, I would like my savings to be larger. It was $10,000 but car repairs and vet bills hit hard this year, but I am working on building it back up. At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net? I became financially responsible for myself at 18. I went off to college at 18, met my husband, and we dropped out after a year, got married, then got jobs and moved into an apartment together. From the time I moved out for college, I had no financial assistance from anyone. (It's certainly not a route I would recommend to anyone so young, haha! But we have a happy little life together.) In terms of a safety net, we don't really have anyone who could help if an emergency came up, but we do have savings, and my husband works a lot of overtime, so he could get extra hours if life popped up. Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain. I got $1,000 when my grandfather passed 10 years ago. Day One: Sunday 7:30 a.m. — Today is beginning a little differently than most Sundays. I wake up much later than normal, but will still make it to the second half of the church service. We went to a theme park yesterday for the kids' (P. and C.) spring break… The pollen count was high and it was super hot, so we all needed some extra rest today to recharge. I realize I have almost no groceries so I set up a grocery pick up for tomorrow morning and I talk my husband, J., into Starbucks — I get a coffee and ham and Swiss croissant and the kids want cake pops with their breakfast. $16.16 11:30 a.m. — After church (10% tithe included in expenses), we run by Ingles for sandwich stuff and a fruit tray I will need tonight for a BBQ. After lunch the kids get an hour of screen time. Meanwhile, I chat with J. while he packs for a week-long trip. $39.58 2:30 p.m. — I spend an hour leading a discussion on a book called You Are a Theologian by Jen Wilkins and JT English. This group of women is so special to me. After, I realize I forgot eggs for the cookies I planned to make, as well as some cash for a love offering being taken up at the BBQ, so I run by the store again on my way home. $5.55 5 p.m. — J. departs for his trip. I made him and the team some chocolate chip cookies for the ride to the airport. I always use Joanna Gaines' recipe and highly recommend — they get loads of compliments! Me and the children head to a going-away BBQ for some of our dear friends. I slip a small gift of $20 into the card where money is being taken up to help them out on their move. It's bittersweet but they have found a bigger farm in another state, so it is a wonderful opportunity for their family. They will be missed though! The adults mingle and the kids play. $20 8 p.m. — We get home late and I take the dog out, help the kids get bathed and ready for bed, and read them a story. After they fall asleep, I get ready for bed and waste a precious hour of my life on YouTube (I've been watching a lot of Financial Audit but Caleb Hammer is too mean sometimes — although I know that's his thing!) and fall asleep past my bedtime. Daily Total: $81.29 Day Two: Monday 7 a.m. — Sleep in! So, on an average day, I wake up at 5 a.m. for my morning routine — but this week is a little different. P. and C. are on spring break so I took PTO this week with the exception of four hours I have to work this afternoon. 9 a.m. — I pull into Ingles for my weekly grocery pick up. I get milk, yogurt, apple sauce, granola bars, apples, blueberries, grapes, chips, crackers, cereal, beef, sausage, cheese, noodles, creamer, pasta sauce, fruit snacks, mini doughnuts, English muffins, string cheese, paper towels, and toilet bowl cleaner ($119.16). I just know I'm forgetting stuff, but that's a problem for later. It's pouring rain and I feel so bad for the young lady putting up my groceries. I think of bringing her a gift card or something next time I come by. While we are out, we also swing by Chick-fil-A for breakfast, just because. I have a biscuit and iced coffee, the kids get minis and hash browns with chocolate milk ($19.83). $138.99 11 a.m. — Arrive at work with P. and C. I take care of emails, phone calls, appointment reminders, and tie up loose ends for my time off. My kids spend their time drawing, typing on a spare computer, playing with puzzles, and I indulge them with a movie on Netflix… They watch Vivo, it's so cute, I catch myself watching several times before getting back to work! We packed sandwiches for lunch. I feel bad for them because my office is so boring. I am easily talked into a 'treat' from the gas station next door (plus a Celsius for me). $12.52 5:30 p.m. — P. had a Little League baseball game scheduled this evening but it was canceled (it's been raining since yesterday), so instead we go to our friends' house for dinner. It's nice to chat and the kids can play for a while as well. My offer to bring a dessert or side is kindly declined, so I make a mental note to host them in the next couple of weeks. We have chicken pasta, salad, and brownies with ice cream. Yum! C. drops one of their plates and it shatters. I feel awful and jokingly offer to bring them one of mine as we have the same set. They assure us it's no big deal. 9 p.m. — After I get the kids in bed, I do my shower and bedtime routine, then do a little scrolling. I find a cute dress on Amazon that sits in my cart. It's one of those cowl neck silk dresses that are popular right now. I tell myself I can wear it at least twice, when I take my grandma to the ballet in May and when J. and I go to Highlands for a 'fancy' dinner in a few weeks, and I already have shoes to go with it. Despite my justifications, it stays in the cart. Perhaps I'll keep watching to see if it goes on sale! Daily Total: $151.51 Day Three: Tuesday 7 a.m. — Our dog L. wakes me up. She misses J. (every dog has a favorite human and I'm not it) and is super weird and restless without him. I miss him too! I have Greek yogurt, granola, and a blueberry English muffin for breakfast. P. has cereal and C. has mini donuts with blueberries 10 a.m. — After some chores and playtime, we get ready to go out (or as Southerners say 'go to town', lol.) I can't control my impulse to buy an iced coffee ($4.27), it's delish, but I feel guilty. It's the last coffee purchase this week because my Nespresso pods are being delivered today! We end up at our favorite place... the library. I am currently reading Dinner For Vampires by Bethany Joy Lenz, Heart of the Matter by Emily Giffin, and The Last One at the Wedding by Jason Rekulak. My kids are bookworms like me, so they pick a few as well. I owe a fine that I take care of ($2.40). On our way out, I grab an info sheet on becoming a 'Friend of the Library' donor to read later. $6.67 12 p.m. — We spend a chunk of time walking around our downtown area. We peruse the antique store (the kids and I take photos of things we like and that we will save our $$ for), pop in the book shop where my SIL works (she brings her baby to work so my kids play with their cousin for a while), then I swing by the local gift store to get ideas for a graduation gift for a sweet girl at church who volunteers in C.'s class! The kids ask for various items as well as lunch out. I hold tight to my original proclamation that we aren't spending money, so we head home. We jam out to the Zombies 3 soundtrack and all is forgotten! 1 p.m. — On our way home, I stop by the store for a couple of things I need for dinner tonight: a rotisserie chicken, chopped salad mix, and sparkling water. Back at home, I make some processed mac and cheese. Mother of the year! $27.03 4 p.m. — We take a walk in our subdivision. P. and C. ride scooters. L. is so weird and territorial so I'm trying to socialize her. We do a couple of laps, which is not half a mile, but feels nice and refreshing. I get an email from P. and C.'s swim instructor for early sign-ups for past students. I stop what I'm doing to snag five class spots on the Google Sheet ($30 each — payment is due June 1). 6 p.m. — I end up keeping my niece for the evening so my SIL can visit her sister at the hospital (she had a baby!). She is soooo sweet and cute. Dinner tonight is chicken Alfredo. All the kids eat really well so I give them a scoop of ice cream and we watch my niece's favorite show, Peppa Pig. Good news: My Nespresso pods were delivered, so no more purchasing coffee this week. Also, my exterminator left his business card on my porch, so that expense will be autodrafted soon… (Getting the outside of your house sprayed is an absolute must for summertime here.) 9:30 p.m. — I do a short workout on YouTube and then I end up scrolling for a bit after my shower and bedtime routine. I look at my cart and the dress again. I determine that I'm being materialistic and I delete it… I have plenty of dresses! I consider other things I should spend money on. We need new towels. I decide I will start buying one a week until we have a new set, so it doesn't feel like such a commitment. I read my Emily Giffin book for a bit, watch YouTube, then go to sleep. Day Four: Wednesday 7 a.m. — Wake up. Food and potty for my doggo; coffee and Bible for me (creature of habit). My kids wake up and request cereal. I have Greek yogurt and a blueberry English muffin. I try a strawberry and white chocolate Nespresso. It's…. weird. I throw a pod in my purse to take to one of my friends, L., for her to try and see what she thinks (she got her Nespresso machine after using mine at Galentine's). 9 a.m. — We have a lowkey morning. I do laundry, unload the dishwasher, and steam mop (my hack is to put a couple of drops of lavender in the mop to make your house smell good, because kids and dogs can be smelly). Then we go to the playground for an hour or so. 12 p.m. — The kids request corndogs for lunch while I have last night's leftovers. Then I play Pokémon battles with P. and Barbies with C. Then I chat with J. I'm unsure of what he is spending on his trip as he is using his credit card. We budgeted around $700 for spending money and food, but honestly I doubt he'll spend that. He is very, very frugal and doesn't spend much money on anything. So when he gets home we will get all of that paid off — we did the credit card debt thing in our young 20s and never, ever again! On another note, J. did say he got us souvenirs, so the kids are excited! 5 p.m. — Squeeze in another walk because it's gonna start raining again tomorrow. We get four good laps. Early dinner because it's church night: I make baked spaghetti (it's one of my favorites, it's so hearty and reheats good, too). 9 p.m. — We get home and get ready for bed. I read with the kids before they go to sleep. C. doesn't read yet so I read a couple of chapters to her and P. will read a couple of chapters to me. However, he finds a booger in his book he checked out at the library so refuses to touch it, lol. We pick something from his shelf. He is my emotional, overthinking child so this is often the time we have our deep, life talks. Daily Total: $0 Day Five: Thursday 7 a.m. — Morning routine. Today is payday. I check online banking to get the exact amounts of income and update the estimated amounts in my budgeting app, I just use Checkbook. Nothing fancy, literally a virtual checkbook but I really like it. I make waffles for P. and C. and have my Greek yogurt and English muffin. 9:45 a.m. — I am doing a thorough deep clean today because my sister, E., is coming to town! She is a teacher in another part of the state and is on spring break as well. She will be staying the night at our house so I want to be a great host. P. is supposed to have a baseball game tonight, but it's raining — again. I'm waiting to hear if it is canceled. Thursdays are gymnastics nights as well. 6:30 p.m. — Game is cancelled again. C. has gymnastics practice anyways. E. gets to town, and we go to my grandmother's house for dinner, some good ol' southern fried food! After dinner, we go back to my house and all play board games for a bit and snack on the brownies I made, as well. 9:40 p.m. — The kids go to sleep and me and E. have a Topo Chico and sneak another brownie while we watch The Great British Bake Off. Eventually we go to sleep. Daily Total: $0 Day Six: Friday 6 a.m. — Our power bill and home/auto insurance are due today so I take care of them while I am getting stuff taken care of before the kids wake up. I switched to this insurance group a year ago to save money and it keeps going up. I make a mental note to shop around. E. slept on the couch, which is comfy, but I wish I had a spare room. I have an unfinished basement and the goal is to finish it, but that's a 10-year goal if I'm being realistic. I make breakfast sliders, Hawaiian rolls, sausage, cheese, and scrambled eggs. These are super popular in our house! E. has to head out early to take her dog to the vet. 11 a.m. — We have leftover baked spaghetti for lunch and then lounge. We end up having a very LAZY day and it's nice! We're always so busy. I also browse cars online; I'm looking at a Toyota RAV4. We made dumb financial decisions early on in our lives and marriage and, thank God, now that we are debt free (less the house), life feels way more relaxed. I do feel pressure knowing my current vehicle is on its way out… We have put over $4,000 in repairs this year. J. wants me to get a new car with a trade in and down payment and aggressively paying off the loan. It's important to have a reliable family vehicle. 5 p.m. — C. has gymnastics recital pictures in her costume. It's adorable with pink, fringe, and sparkles. The photos should be edited and ready to order next week. I'm super excited to see how cute they turn out! (I have this budgeted for this, I plan to order my favorite photo as a digital image.) 7 p.m. — Back home. Dinner tonight is pizza we have in the freezer. Easy peasy! I text some friends and we decide to meet up for glow in the dark bowling in the next town over ($18). Complete the evening with ice cream for P. and C ($4.47). Super fun! $22.47 Daily Total: $22.47 Day Seven: Saturday 7 a.m. — The kids have leftover breakfast sliders and I have an English muffin and apple slices. I clean bathrooms and change sheets today for my chores. 11:30 a.m. — I have a hair appointment today. Drop P. and C. with my mom (they'll have lunch there). I have Girl Lunch: apple and string cheese. My one vain indulgence is to get my hair done every two months. I have very fine, thin hair so I budget for it and it makes me feel more confident! We end up staying at my mom's house for a while before we head back home. $275 5:20 p.m. — We have grilled cheese sandwiches for dinner tonight. I can't believe this is the last night of spring break :( I am going to try to get them in bed a little earlier tonight so Monday morning isn't too rough. We play with L. after dinner and do showers, etc. 8 p.m. — Reading and lights out. I promised them a 'sleepover' while J. was gone and since he'll be home tomorrow, this is the night! Essentially, I just move their mattresses in my room, but they think it's awesome. I plan to read with my book light but end falling asleep while I wait for them to fall asleep. Daily Total: $275 The Breakdown Weekly Total $$ Spent: $563.97 Food & Drink: $248.57 Entertainment: $18 Home & Health: $0.00 Clothes & Beauty $275.00 Transportation $0.00 Other $22.40 Conclusion 'This was a super fun week. I'm so glad I got to take off work for my kids' spring break so we could have us a little staycation! We got to spend time with friends and family and it was good for the soul. I feel like keeping this diary was good for me. I enjoyed seeing exactly what I was doing and spending my money on. I have worked really hard on being more disciplined and less impulsive and I see that coming through here. It makes me proud of how far I've come! My reflection is that I would like to spend less money on groceries and I will look into some hacks for that. I also question my hair appointments and if I can live without the vanity of extensions.'
Refinery29
2 days ago
- Refinery29
Money Diary: A Compliance Officer On £85,000
Welcome to Money Diaries where we are tackling the ever-present taboo that is money. We're asking real people how they spend their hard-earned money during a seven-day period — and we're tracking every last penny. Our Money Diaries submission process has changed. If you would like to submit a diary, please use our new form here. This week: " I am a born and raised Londoner who lives in North London with my husband T and my toddler J (I am also currently pregnant). Our financial set-up is considered unusual in that I pay for the mortgage and most of the bills. My husband covers our grocery shop and most of our joint social activities come out of that pot and he also pays into J's Junior Stocks and Shares ISA. My outlook on finances completely changed when I got engaged to T and we started to save more actively (in the end we only spent circa £6k on our wedding and honeymoon). I was very much a 'treat yourself' kind of person and used to spend frivolously but I never got into debt and still managed to save some money. I now have a collection of designer bags and shoes that are collecting dust as quite frankly I have nowhere appropriate to wear these things! We rarely get weekly takeaways and tend to shop in places like Lidl so we can do more experiences and go on holidays even if it is a cheap package deal. We are extremely lucky that we get a lot of childcare help from my mother for free (she wouldn't dream of accepting any money) and we also made the decision for T to drop to part-time work so we didn't have to send J to nursery straight after my maternity leave." Occupation: Compliance officer Industry: Financial services Age: 38 Location: London Salary: £85,000 Paycheque Amount: £4,700 Number of housemates: Two Pronouns: She/her Monthly Expenses Housing costs: £1,300 Loan payments: None. Savings?: £20k in premium bonds (this will be used to partially fund my maternity leave), £20k S&S ISA (which I plan not to to cash out until I retire hopefully), £20k cash ISA — instead of overpaying my mortgage which currently has a low rate, I am keeping this aside to utilise the interest gained and then pay a chunk off the mortgage at my mortgage renewal next year. Pension? 6% of my salary goes into my pension, my employer matches this. Utilities: £100 gas, £100 electricity, £50 water, £25 broadband, £210 council tax. All other monthly payments: £8 phone. Subscriptions: £40 Sky TV. Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it? I went to university back when fees were low and I was fortunate enough that my parents paid for fees and housing and some spending money. Whilst I am extremely lucky to have had parental help, this is considered pretty normal in our culture if the family has the financial means. Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? My parents never really discussed money and all that I know about finances is through taking an interest on my own. Although my extended family owned a business, my parents were not paid a fair wage and would often send money overseas to their parents. Unknowingly to me, we actually were quite poor in my early childhood. I shared a bedroom with my parents until I was about four or five and we never went on holidays. Our only trip before things got financially better was to go to my grandfather's funeral in Asia. Things got a lot better when my father came into a substantial inheritance from an extended family member, which enabled us to move out of the flat above the family business into our own home. If you have, when did you move out of your parents/guardians house? I moved out for university but would come home for the holidays. Post university, I lived on and off at home and rented with friends. Whilst I was living at home, I would pay rent to my parents, but it was less than what the market rate would be. At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself? Does anyone else cover any aspects of your financial life? I would say this was when I purchased my first flat. My parents helped with the stamp duty but apart from that, I self-funded everything else. I eventually sold my flat and purchased the house I am currently living in. What was your first job and why did you get it? My first job was helping at the family business. I don't recall getting paid for this, it was just expected. However, my parents did give me pocket money and gave me money when I was going out with friends. My first paid job was working for a clothes store during university. Quite frankly, I hated it and only did it for some extra fun money and to get a taste of working somewhere that was not family-connected. Do you worry about money now? I do and I don't, I'm pretty good with money and actively look for deals, I hate paying full price for anything! However, we will have to start paying for nursery for J soon and I will be going on maternity leave for a whole year again. I get six months full pay, which is great, but again is very standard within the finance industry. I know if things got very bad, we could sell the house and move in with family until we got back on our feet. Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? I have not directly received any and do not envisage (fingers crossed) receiving any until I am very old. My parents had me at a very young age and I have told them to live their lives how they want and not to actively save for my future benefit. Again, it is a stereotypical mentality for I think Asian families from poor backgrounds to not want to spend and think of the financial well-being of their children rather than their own. Day One 3 a.m. — Crying from J, followed by a cute little voice saying 'toys'. T goes to his room to see to him and eventually ushers him back to sleep. 5 a.m. — 'Books! Toys!' followed by a giggle. J is now awake for the day and there is no coaxing him back to sleep. T, obeys the lord of the manor and takes him downstairs for books and toys. I stay in bed and try to go back to sleep. 6:20 a.m. — I wake up and shower and start to get ready for work. 7:30 a.m. — I prepare a rather uninspiring breakfast of plain Greek yoghurt for J and a bowl of supermarket-branded fake crunchy nut cereal for myself. 8:15 a.m. — I kiss the boys goodbye and head off to work. T will be dropping J off at my parents for my mother's usual day with him. 9:05 a.m. — Get into work and crack on with seeing if there are any last-minute meetings or emails that require immediate attention. 9:45 a.m. — Make a decaf coffee from the work coffee machine, using almond milk makes it just about palatable. 12 p.m. — I break for lunch and get a Tesco meal deal. Chicken salad sandwich, mango and passionfruit yoghurt and a coconut water, £3.40. I eat this at my desk whilst reading articles online. I supplement my Tesco lunch with a bag of Monster Munch I have in my locker. 5 p.m. — I leave work and make the journey home. 6 p.m. — Arrive back and hear 'Mummy, Mummy' as I step through the door. Give the little one a kiss and then change out of my work clothes. The idea of dirty train clothes touching the sofa that J often squishes his face against, grosses me out. 6:10 p.m. — Supper time, I reheat the spaghetti bolognese T had made earlier for himself and J. I'm usually famished when I get home, so I like to eat before we put J to sleep. 6:50 p.m. — Start the bedtime routine for J and he is asleep by 7:30 p.m. 7:30 p.m. — Watch an episode of Mobland, I'm not quite convinced by Pierce Brosman and Helen Mirren in their roles, but it's an easy watch. 9 p.m. — Start getting ready for bed. This is the parent life, especially when you have a toddler who doesn't really like to sleep in. 9:45 p.m. — Lights out. Day Two 4 a.m. — 'Books'… 6 a.m. — 'Toys'… T starts the usual morning routine of play and reading with the little lord. 7:30 a.m. — Same breakfast as yesterday for both J and me. 9:05 a.m. — TFL travel charge from yesterday is £9.20. Get into work and prepare my coffee before a series of Zoom calls. I eat my second breakfast of a blueberry cereal bar that I have stashed in my locker during the calls. Being pregnant, I often have two breakfasts each day. I seem to have a bottomless pit of hunger that can't be satisfied…. 12 p.m. — Break for lunch, a Tesco meal deal is not going to cut it today, so I decide to treat myself to a pizza from Pizza Express, using an O2 priority perk, £8 including a small tip. 1 p.m. — Get back to work and it's a series of dealing with email queries, ongoing project work or having Zoom meetings. 5 p.m. — Leave work and watch a bit of Love is Blind on the train. Since having J, I am very strict with myself to leave at 5 p.m., so I can spend a tiny bit of time with J before his bedtime. 6 p.m. — Arrive home and play with J until we start his usual bedtime routine. 7:30 p.m. — Dinner of roast chicken and vegetables that T had made earlier. We chat whilst I eat about plans for the weekend and also start going through baby names. J was just called baby for a good month before we agreed on a name and I would like not to do this again! 9 p.m. — Start getting ready for bed. My skincare routine is pretty basic on weeknights. I double cleanse using Elemis cleansing balm and then CeraVe face wash followed by some sort of face cream. 9:45 p.m. — Bed and lights out. Total £17.20 Day Three 5 a.m. — The little lord is shouting 'gup-up', his version of get up. 7:15 a.m. — I have fake Country Crisp granola and Greek yoghurt, J has a banana and plays around with the yoghurt he is given. I also make a quick chicken stir fry noodle using up leftover chicken from last night to take to work. 9:05 a.m. — TFL travel charge from yesterday is £9.20. Get into work and again see to emails but also chat to colleagues as I have a morning of no Zoom calls for once. 12 p.m. — Break for lunch and heat up my chicken noodles to have at my desk. I pop out afterwards to go to M&S to buy the usual low salt bread we give J, £0.75. 4:50 p.m. — Leave work a little early today and pick up a Tesco meal deal on the way to my school governors meeting, £3.40. I know I won't last until after the meeting to have my dinner, so I eat my meal deal in shame on the train. 6 p.m. — Arrive at the meeting and realise that they have supplied pizza tonight. I take a slice or two despite having just had my meal deal. I'm literally stretching the eating for two mentality as far as I can. Disappointingly, I found out during my first pregnancy that the whole eating for two is a myth and you only really need about 200 extra calories a day. That's basically two slices of bread or a packet of packet of crisps and a biscuit… 8 p.m. — Meeting has finished and I head home. I'm still pretty new to the world of being a school governor, but I am finding it extremely interesting and something a bit different to do away from my usual work. 8:15 p.m. — Get home and chat with T and he tells me about the shenanigans him and J got up to today. 9:45 p.m. — Lights out and bed. Total: 13.35 Day Four 7 a.m. — TFL travel charge from yesterday is £9.20. It's WFH today, so I go downstairs and let T go and have a little nap until he drops J off at my parents' place later. As I am pregnant, T has taken to dealing with J's middle-of-the-night wake-ups and general early wake-ups so I can rest. So, on the days I WFH and the weekends, I try and let T have a morning nap. 8:45 a.m. — Say goodbye to J and T and take my breakfast of granola and Greek yogurt and a matcha latte to have at my desk whilst I log onto work. 12 p.m. — Break for lunch and prepare myself some udon noodle soup using an instant miso soup sachet, with some spinach and a fried egg. This is a typical wfh lunch for me as it's quick to make. I have my lunch at my desk whilst watching some YouTube videos and then get back to work. 3:45 p.m. — After having a productive day of doing hours of regulation mapping, I stop to do some quick dinner prep and chuck all the ingredients into the rice cooker. 4:30 p.m. — I hear J and T come in and they come upstairs to say hello. 5 p.m. — Log off from work and head downstairs and plate up a supper of steamed rice and chicken and peas. Rice cooker meals are a game changer for those too tired or lazy to cook! J's version is plain, whilst I add a quick sauce of soy sauce, honey and sesame oil to mine and T's. 6 p.m. — T heads off to play his weekly football with his friends. Whilst I spend the rest of the evening playing and reading with J. 7:30 p.m. — I take the opportunity whilst T is out to watch an episode of 911 and start an episode of Dr Odessey. I have to say Dr Odessy really is ultimate trash TV but I'm here for Joshua Jackson. 8:30 p.m. — T arrives home and jumps straight into the shower. It's always a bit of a Russian roulette whether J wakes up from this as his bedroom is next to the bathroom. 9:45 p.m. — Lights out and bed. Total: £9.20 Day Five 8:45 a.m. — I wave T and J off as they head out for the day and put on a load of washing. I have the same breakfast as yesterday at my desk as I log into work. 10 a.m. — Take the washing out and put on another load. I don't feel guilty doing quick little chores like this during work hours as its not realistic to be working every single minute of the day. If I was in the office, people would be popping out to get coffee, chatting to colleagues etc. 12 p.m. — Break for lunch and today I have a fish finger sandwich and crisps. I decide as it's a nice day to take a little stroll around the park. 1:15 p.m. — Back to work and I do some prep work before I give a training session over Zoom. The training I am giving is to multiple locations and it seems to have gone well. I ask the attendees to email me any feedback they may have. 3:45 p.m. — Prep dinner by chucking all the ingredients into the rice cooker. Since having J and being pregnant, I just do not have the energy to cook anything elaborate. As T does all the meals on my in-office days, I try to do the meals when I am wfh and we tend to split the cooking duties during the weekend. 5 p.m. — I log off work and the boys are home shortly after. I plate up our suppers and tonight we are having steamed rice, salmon and peas and some salad. Again, J has his plain minus the salad and I make the same sauce as yesterday to drizzle on mine and T's. 7:20 p.m. — We start and watch the movie Twisters. In theory, we should be able to get through the whole film, but T has an annoying habit of always pausing here and there to get a drink, snack etc. 9:45 p.m. — Same as usual, lights out and bedtime. Day Six 9 a.m. — We all head out into central London to meet some friends and their toddler who is the same age as J at the Natural History Museum. As I suspect, J is scared of the animatronic dinosaurs. 11:30 a.m. — We leave the museum and walk around Hyde Park to try and get the kiddos to fall asleep for their naps. In the meantime, we get a coffee each and a cake to share from the overpriced park café, £12.20. 1:30 p.m. — Arrive at the Italian restaurant near the museum that I booked for the group. We let J stay asleep until the food arrives. Starter of garlic bread and cheese for the adults. For mains, I have a seafood spaghetti, T has carbonara and J has spaghetti bolognese. Our share comes to £54 including service (this amount comes out of the grocery shop pot that T funds, same with the coffee). 3 p.m. — Decide to head back to Hyde Park en route home and let the kids have a run around. The weather is gorgeous today and it feels like summer. 5:30 p.m. — We arrive home and I make a quick supper (if you can call it that) of peanut butter on toast and sliced apple for J. I feel a bit guilty when I serve toast for supper but anything else would take too long. 7:30 p.m. — With J asleep, we continue and finish Twisters whilst we eat a supermarket Hawaiian pizza we had in the fridge. T complains how awful the movie was, but I really was not expecting much. It's an easy watch and is exactly what I expect from a blockbuster type of movie. Day Seven 10 a.m. — TFL charge for yesterday £6.80. We head out and go to my parents' to spend part of the day. My parents have been in Asia for the last month and it's the first opportunity for me to catch up with them. 11:30 a.m. — We settle down to an early feast of a lunch, comprising of salt and pepper squid, Singapore noodles, steamed fish with ginger and spring onion, stir fried choi sum, steamed prawns with a chili soy sauce and steamed rice. These are some of my favourite dishes that my mother makes, and I have to say, I have yet to have a Singapore fried noodles that is better than the one my mother makes. J has his own special bowl of chicken congee. 12:54 p.m. — T takes J out in the pram around the local park to get J to nap. We have gotten into a habit where he doesn't really nap in a cot anymore. I am dreading the thought that we will have to take chilly winter walks to get him to sleep but maybe him going to nursery soon will solve this problem… 5 p.m. — We head home and take leftovers with us, my mother has the tendency to cook for double the amount of people she needs to feed. 9:45 p.m. — Lights out and bed. The Breakdown Conclusion "Although this is a very low spend for a week, my monthly expenses, e.g. rent bills etc, are quite high. For the time being, this would be a typical spending week, 2-3 weeks of the month. On a week where I socialise on my own, need to buy toiletries/clothes etc, then it would be up to £100ish more. Since I have been back to work, I do not tend to go out with friends during the working week, as I won't get much time to spend with J otherwise. Before J hit 18 months, T and I would have more frequent date nights. However, as J seems to be going through a long phase of not sleeping well, we are both too tired to want to do anything in the evenings, which is disappointing, but I see it as just a phase (hopefully!)".
Refinery29
4 days ago
- Refinery29
A Week In Berlin On A $140,653 Household Income
Welcome to Money Diaries where we are tackling the ever-present taboo that is money. We're asking real people how they spend their hard-earned money during a seven-day period — and we're tracking every last dollar. Today: an HR director who has a $140,653 household income and who spends some of her money this week on a home-office treadmill (she's excited and hoping to be consistent). If you'd like to submit your own Money Diary, you can do so via our online form. We pay $150 for each published diary. Apologies but we're not able to reply to every email. Occupation: HR director Industry: Sports Age: 35 Location: Berlin Salary: $81,146 Joint income: $140,653. My husband R.'s salary is $59,507 for part-time work of 28 hours per week. We split expenses proportionally, with whoever earns more contributing more to the shared account. We also maintain personal savings accounts and, when necessary, transfer additional funds to the joint account or cover significant expenses by splitting the cost equally from our personal savings. For the purposes of this diary, I have tracked our joint account spending and my own expenses. Assets: My savings are around $15,000, and I invested $100 in stocks recently, to see how it behaves. R.'s savings are around $6,000. We are married with two children and manage our finances through a joint account dedicated to household, childcare, and shared expenses. I contribute $2,163.90 monthly through an automatic transfer, while my partner contributes $1,947.51 monthly. Additionally, tax refunds and the children's allowance ('Kindergeld') of $551.80 per child are deposited into the same account. Debt: $0 Paycheck Amount (1x/month): $4,248 (after deductions for tax, public health insurance and pension) Pronouns: She/her Monthly Expenses Housing Costs: $1,298.34 for a rent-controlled apartment (split with R.). Loan Payments: $0 Online fitness training: $60 Cellphone: $17.31 Netflix: $15.98 (I pay this for my brother, who is in my home country). Apple Care: $12.98 Bike Insurance: $5.29 UN Food Program: $13.10 Pension & Health Insurance: Deducted from my gross salary. Kindergarten Food Allowance: $50 (split with R.; for both kids). Music Classes: $22 (split with R.; this is just for one of the kids — for the other, it's included in kindergarten). House Assistant: $642 for 36 hours per month, including transportation (split with R.). Internet: $69.92 (split with R.). Food, Eggs & Vegetable Delivery: ~$196 (split with R.). Gas: $108 (split with R.). Electricity: $160 (split with R.). Cleaner: $304 (split with R.). Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it? Yes, I am the first in my nuclear family to get a university degree. I am originally from Latin America, where I grew up in a traditional setting as the oldest daughter. My parents married young and did not complete university, so there was always an expectation for me to excel academically. From a young age, I was a dedicated student, and I earned scholarships to help ease the financial burden on my parents, allowing them to also send my two brothers to good schools. After high school, I received a scholarship to study at a prestigious university, but the scholarship only covered tuition. To afford living expenses, I worked while studying, which made it challenging to maintain good grades. During my studies, I was awarded a scholarship for a special program overseas, which broadened my perspective and made me realise I wanted to pursue opportunities outside my home country. After returning home, I worked hard and applied for numerous scholarships, eventually securing one to pursue my first master's degree in Spain, where I met my German husband. Afterwards, I returned to my home country and worked as a public servant, but I soon realised it wasn't the right path for me. I faced pressure from my family to settle down and be grateful for a stable job, but I knew I wanted a different life. Around that time, I was accepted into a program in France, but my mother was diagnosed with cancer, and the expectation was for me to stay and take care of her. After losing my job, I became her caregiver, but six months later, I decided to move to France. I arranged an au pair position that provided me with an apartment and an allowance in exchange for four hours of childcare per day. I also took on remote research work to save money, allowing me to visit my mother every six weeks. A year later, I got married and moved to Berlin, where I pursued another master's degree with the help of a government student loan, which I fully repaid last year. Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent(s)/guardian(s) educate you about finances? Growing up, money was often a source of stress, and I frequently heard, 'There's no money.' This made me accustomed to not having money and not asking for things. My parents always emphasized that education was the only inheritance they could give us, so our focus was on doing well in school. As I got older, I became more aware of my parents' struggles to make ends meet. I knew they wanted to provide more for us, but they simply couldn't. Despite their best efforts, limited job opportunities and a lack of career advancement kept them stuck in low-paying jobs. Because of this, I learned to be extremely careful with any money I had growing up, knowing that I couldn't count on having it again anytime soon. What was your first job and why did you get it? At 17, I got my first job as a receptionist at a shipping company. Since I was still a minor, my mom had to sign a consent form to allow me to work. I got the job with the help of my cousin's girlfriend, who already worked there. My salary was the basic wage at the time, around $220 per month, and I was incredibly happy to have my own money for the first time. However, with a job came expenses, and I quickly realized it wasn't enough to cover everything. I had to contribute to the household by paying for the internet, which cost about $40 a month. Although it felt empowering to earn my own income, I soon learned how challenging it was to make it stretch. Did you worry about money growing up? Yes, I worried about money growing up. We always had enough food — good, nutritious meals — but there was little money for extras. Occasionally, we could afford a cheap ice cream; new clothes only came at Christmas. My parents had debts from the mortgage and school tuition, and I was aware of it. I'll never forget the time my mother sent me to the store with $20 to buy some rice, and I lost the bill on the way. The look on her face is something I'll always remember. When I went to university and needed to work, my heart ached as I saw my friends who didn't have to work and could enjoy their free time, while I was running between jobs and classes. We didn't have proper vacations — just occasional visits to family in the countryside. Now that I'm a mother, I really empathize with my parents and understand how painful it must have been for them not to be able to give everything to their children. Do you worry about money now? As we say in German, JAIN — yes and no. I don't worry about daily expenses or short-term future plans, as I feel secure in those areas. However, I do experience some anxiety about losing my job or something catastrophic happening. The scarcity mindset is deep in me. I was raised with the stress of not knowing if there would be enough for the future. To be honest, I'm very grateful to have savings and disposable income, and I know we'll be alright. My husband has a stable job and is becoming a public servant, and we enjoy an excellent work-life balance. Still, the child inside me holds on to the fear that everything could disappear in an instant. We don't have any debts; we pay everything upfront, including trips, vacations, and anything else we need, so that's a big relief. I've set a personal challenge for myself this year: no buying anything that isn't absolutely necessary. That means no extra clothes or stuff I don't truly need. I still browse online shopping sites and add things to my cart, but I tell myself that if I really want it, I'll come back later. So far, it hasn't happened once this year. At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net? I started working very early, around 17 years old, while still living with my parents. It was up to me to work to afford university. My husband, of course, is my main support. We are a team. His parents also have properties and have always offered to help us if needed. In addition, here, we pay mandatory unemployment insurance, which means I can claim 65% of my salary for up to one year or until I find a new job, should the need arise. I try to save as much as possible, but like many immigrants, I've also helped my family financially. I pay my father's annual health insurance, which costs $2,000 a year, and I give 'loans' to my brothers to help them continue their studies. Both have recently graduated — one as a doctor and the other as a lawyer. I believe that my life improved when I started working in Germany, and as a result, their lives have improved as well. I think I could save more, but we do travel a lot. This year, for example, we're attending a wedding in Italy and also visiting my home country, and we've already spent $9,000 just on tickets. However, we try to maintain a lean daily life in general to balance things out. Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain. Not really. But at my first job, my company was acquired, and I received a $15,000 bonus. Day One: Wednesday 6 a.m. — It's my turn to wake up early with the kids. I start the day by making breakfast and prepping snack boxes. Today's menu features cheese and ham quesadillas, with a few extras to keep it interesting: a handful of walnuts, a sprinkle of little chocodrops, and some roasted pumpkin with cinnamon left over from last night's dinner. Once the boxes are packed, I get my son dressed. 7 a.m. — My husband R. is up, and my shift is officially over. I retreat to my home office for my morning training routine while he takes over and gets the kids to nursery. 9 a.m. — I have an appointment at the embassy to renew my passport. It expires in December, but with a wedding in Italy coming up this June, I'd rather be safe than sorry. After a long 45-minute wait, they tell me the system is down, so no passport today. Frustrated, I hop on my bike and head home, making it just in time for my one-on-one meeting with my manager. 12:30 p.m. — After a marathon of meetings, I finally get a break for lunch. I portion out some pork with a Korean marinade, wrapping it in lettuce with a dollop of ssamjang — my own quick version of Korean BBQ. I eat while catching up on a bit of TV, of course a K-drama. 2 p.m. — I have an online appointment with my fitness coach. She's from my home country, and I've been following her on-demand training program since January. It's been paying off — I'm seeing real results and feeling stronger. Today, we discuss my progress and new goals, and I ask her about the weighted vest and brisk walking trend I've been curious about. She's not 100% convinced, but I am — so I make a mental note to shop for the vest later. 4 p.m. — Time for some fitness shopping! I buy a pre-workout mix, magnesium, and that weighted vest I've been eyeing ($106.42). After hours of research, I've also found the perfect compact treadmill that fits under my desk. The spring sale makes it a steal at $173.10. I'm genuinely excited to start using it. $279.52 5:30 p.m. — I pick the kids up from nursery and stop by the bakery on the way home for some fresh bread (I pay from our joint account). Our house helper is already home, preparing dinner and folding laundry. With no rush, we take our time walking back. Once home, it's straight into the bath, dinner, and the bedtime routine. $3.75 7:45 p.m. — The kids are finally asleep. R. and I settle down to watch the final episode of Adolescence. It hits me harder than I expected, and I end up sobbing, feeling overwhelmed with so many emotions. I'm exhausted, both physically and mentally, and I'm in bed by 9:30 p.m., hoping I can sleep. Daily Total: $283.27 Day Two: Thursday 7 a.m. — It's my turn to sleep in today, and I want to stay under the covers forever. Eventually, R. calls me to help get the kids ready for nursery. Once they're out the door, I throw in a load of laundry, make myself a cup of coffee, and whip up eggs and ham for breakfast. Feeling more awake, I jump into my fitness routine to get the day started right. 8:30 a.m. — Today's special: a spa day with R. He doesn't work one day of the week, and I've taken a day off to join him for a bit of relaxation later. He's busy booking doctor's appointments, so I keep myself occupied by moving the laundry to the dryer and starting a new load. There's a public transportation strike in Berlin today, but it doesn't bother us since we're biking. Secretly, I'm hoping it keeps the spa less crowded. We're running late, but he's still tied up, so I keep tidying up and getting little things done around the apartment. Just before we head out, I take a weed gummy to help me fully unwind. 10 a.m. — We arrive at the spa and check in. After changing, we treat ourselves to a second breakfast: pancakes with chocolate syrup ($14.50 — added to the total bill for the day). Next up is a sauna ceremony featuring a honey peeling. This spa is textile free, meaning everyone's naked, but in non-sauna or pool areas, people wear robes. It took some time to get used to at first, but now I appreciate coming here as a couple. When I go solo, I prefer the Turkish hammam, which is women only. 11:30 a.m. — It's time for our couple's massage ($95), and I remembered to request a female masseuse this time — last time it was a man, and I didn't feel completely comfortable. The massage is nice, melting away tension and stress (maybe the gummy also helps). Afterward, we head to the spa's restaurant for lunch. I order butter chicken while my husband goes for an Indonesian rice salad. We treat ourselves to two drinks and a shared slice of cake for dessert ($75). After this, we're ready for a nap. I lie down on a water bed and pass out for 45 minutes. 3:30 p.m. — It's time to settle the bill, and everything is paid at the end of the day. The total comes to $300 with tip, but thanks to two gift certificates for the day tickets, we end up paying $204 from our joint account. It's worth every penny for a day like this. $204 4 p.m. — We pick up the kids from nursery, and our house assistant is already home, prepping dinner. Our daughter wants to stay with her, so we decide to take our son out for a quick haircut. He's looking like a grown-up boy and not a very happy one. $10 6 p.m. — The usual evening routine kicks in: bath, dinner, bedtime. By 7:30 p.m., the kids are asleep, and I take a long, hot shower while my husband waits for his turn. After he's done, I straighten up the apartment a bit. We're both ready to unwind, so we start watching The Residence. We need something light and funny to wrap up a long but refreshing day. Daily Total: $214 Day Three: Friday 7 a.m. — It's Friday, and I sleep in a little longer than usual, but now it's my turn to get the kids to nursery. We rush to get ready, and my daughter rides her bike, while I take my son in his bike seat. I try to make the drop-off as quick as possible because I have a jam-packed day ahead at work. 8 a.m. — Reporting day. I'm deep into analyzing numbers I'm not too thrilled about, like payroll costs, and it takes much longer than I'd like. I also have two meetings lined up and manage to send my reports to a colleague for a double check, though I haven't received any feedback yet. I take a 30-minute break to fit in a quick fitness session and clear my mind. 12:30 p.m. — Back to the embassy of my home country. After a 30-minute wait, it's finally my turn. The process is quick and straightforward, and I pay $97.38 in cash. Once that's done, I hop on my bike and head to a nearby Chinese restaurant for lunch. I order a pork rib menu with rice and a soda for $12.98. I sit alone, enjoying the meal while watching a K-drama. $110.36 2:30 p.m. — Back to work for a couple more hours. I take calls about relocations and employer costs, and finally, I get some feedback on my reports, however, I'll need to wait until Monday to finish everything. To break up the workday, I make plans with a friend to meet in the park, as it's a warm 18°C outside. Perfect for a little outdoor relaxation. 4 p.m. — After picking up the kids from nursery, we ride our bikes to the park to meet our friends. We grab some snacks on the way, spending $13 from our joint account. The kids are full of energy and play wildly, and I manage to stay on the picnic blanket for a while, soaking in the sun. Eventually, I join them in a game of tree climbing. 6 p.m. — We head home, and I start dinner with the veggies and noodles my house assistant left in containers, adding peanut sauce to the mix. R. takes over bath duty for the kids. Since I'm following a low-carb, high-protein diet, I have a salad and some chicken. Afterward, we tag-team the bedtime routine: R. lies down with the kids, and I quickly shower. Once I'm done, it's his turn, and I lie between the kids, reading on my Kindle. By the time they're asleep, it's nearly 8 p.m. 9:15 p.m. — We try to watch a bit of The Residence, but I'm just too tired to keep my eyes open. I call it a night and head to bed. Daily Total: $123.36 Day Four: Saturday 6 a.m. — Saturday morning, and there's no mercy with my kids when it comes to waking up early. It's my turn to take over the morning. I quickly make breakfast, eggs and toast, nothing fancy but it gets the job done. As they eat, I start prepping lunch. I'm making a pea pesto with silken tofu and wild garlic I saw on Instagram. Slowly, the clock ticks to 7 a.m., and I wake up R. Finally, I get an hour to myself in bed to relax before the day kicks into full gear. 8:30 a.m. — Everyone is full of energy, so we decide to walk to my brother-in-law's house to drop off some second-hand clothes for their seven-month-old baby. The walk takes longer than expected, but it's a great way to pass the time. We play with the baby and talk about our upcoming trip to the south of Germany to visit my husband's grandma. I show them the hotel and train tickets we've already bought months ago, and I can't help but mention how expensive it is to travel within Germany — about $800 for train tickets and a hotel for a weekend. 11 a.m. — We head back home for an early lunch — gnocchi with pea pesto. We eat early because my daughter has swimming lessons at noon. After lunch, I hop on my bike and take her to the pool, which is only a 10-minute ride away. I'm left waiting for about an hour, so I order a soda at the pool bar and sit with a fellow parent, who's also waiting. We chat about the show Adolescence and share our worries about the future as parents. When it's time to pay, my friend kindly covers the drink. 5 p.m. — After a productive afternoon of cleaning up the garden and giving the kids a quick bath, we decide to walk to the supermarket to stock up on a few things, mostly because shops are generally closed on Sundays here. We also grab more seeds to start seedlings tomorrow. We buy eggs, pea milk, soil, veggies, and, of course, a variety of seeds. $71.02 6 p.m. — We head to a new burger joint that recently opened near our house. The kids are excited, and so are we! We order quite a lot: four burgers, two fries, two sodas, and a milkshake. It's a special treat since we don't eat out as a family very often, maybe once a month. We usually cook at home, and with our kids' ages, going to restaurants can be a bit stressful, so we keep it to a minimum. $55.40 7:30 p.m. — We try a new strategy tonight, putting the kids to bed later to see if they sleep in a bit longer tomorrow. R. lies with them, while I quickly arrange the groceries. After a quick shower, we tag-team the bedtime routine, and I finally get some time to relax. I want to make plans with my friends, but it's tough to coordinate since most of them have kids, and finding time and energy is always a challenge. Eventually, I meet my husband in front of the TV at 8:45 p.m., and I manage to stay up for an hour. I head to bed soon after, while he stays up to play video games. Daily Total: $126.42 Day Five: Sunday 7 a.m. — It's a rainy Sunday. R. wakes me up since he's been up with the kids. It's my turn to take over. (Spoiler alert: The kids woke up early again.) I have breakfast with them, granola and yogurt, while I start preparing lunch. I'm making chicken rice soup, and the kids help me with the carrots. They're great little helpers, and we have fun doing it together. We don't have any big plans for today. 8:30 a.m. — R. is now awake, but the kids want to go to the garden. My daughter insists on starting the seedlings, so I set everything up under the shed. It's cold and raining, but she's having a blast. We plant herbs, tomatoes, cucumbers, and flowers — all at her request. Our friend texts us, saying he's home alone with his kids and asks if we want to meet up. Since the park is a no-go with the wet weather, we invite them over instead. 12 p.m. — The kids are playing, and we're all hungry, so I ask our friend and his kids to stay for lunch. The kids have their meal first, and they really enjoy the rice soup with peas and carrots. Once they're done, we adults sit down for a quick meal while the kids play. We get about 10 minutes of peace and quiet before we need to intervene. Our friends leave and I put the baby down for a nap while R. stays with my daughter, watching Bluey. 3 p.m. — My mother-in-law is visiting from elsewhere in Europe for the month, and she lent us her car. We plan to use it for a vacation to a nearby lake with friends in two weeks. Today, we pick it up from her house, taking the bus for a 45-minute ride. I buy a one-way ticket since I don't have a monthly pass, and I usually use my electric bike for most trips. We spend the time playing I Spy. $3.14 4:30 p.m. — We get the car, install the car seats, and despite the rain, we decide to go for ice cream. There's a great spot in the neighborhood, where my husband grew up. We treat the kids to three kid-sized scoops and one cookie. $8.30 6 p.m. — It's dinner time again. The kids are getting their baths while I cook. We briefly consider eating out for something quick, like falafel, but we have plenty of food at home. Plus, we already ate out yesterday. So, I pop some sweet potatoes in the air fryer and cook some turkey meatballs our house assistant prepared earlier in the week. I also whip up a quick salad with lemon dressing. Everyone is happy with dinner, and then it's time for the bedtime routine again. R. is heading out with a friend, so I hurry and shower to replace him on bedtime duty. At 8:30 p.m., I finally emerge from the kids' room. I tell myself I'll watch 30 minutes of K-drama, but end up staying awake until 10 p.m. Daily Total: $3.14 Day Six: Monday 7:30 a.m. — It feels like a luxury to sleep this late. R. is starting work late today, so he offers to take our daughter to kindergarten. I quickly get her ready, put on her shoes, and helmet, and within minutes, they're out the door. I stay with our son, make us both breakfast, change him, and then get him dressed. After that, it's time to take him to kindergarten. On the way, I stop by the post office to drop off a package — a white-noise machine I sold on Vinted for $22. That money from selling second-hand items goes straight into our joint account to buy things for the kids. 11:30 a.m. — After working for a few hours, it's time to restock my beauty supplies. I only need to buy shampoo, conditioner, and gel about three times a year, and I like to keep them stored up. I always purchase from the same website to save time, especially since there's a spring sale going on. I use a 20% discount code and get two bottles of shampoo, one conditioner, and a gel. $98.63 2:30 p.m. — Our cleaning lady arrives, and today I pay her $85 for her weekly service. She's been with us for years and is truly the best. She's so thorough, and I love how she can take as much or as little time as she needs. 3:30 p.m. — I take a quick break to check out the spring sales for kids' clothes. I usually buy winter clothes for the upcoming season during this time of year. I prefer investing in high-quality, warm but lightweight outerwear for the kids. This time, I scored two winter jackets and one full-body suit for $113.61. Not a bad deal, especially since these items will be used every day and eventually passed down to my younger child and his cousin. $113.61 5 p.m. — I join my husband and kids at the playground. The weather is getting better, it's nice to get some fresh air and enjoy time together outside. At home, our house assistant is making a big pot of soup with lots of vegetables and folding the laundry I did earlier in the day. 6:30 p.m. — We come home a little later than usual. Our house assistant is ready to leave, so I set up the dinner table while she finish up. The kids are a little picky tonight, and my daughter doesn't like the soup, but that's alright — she eats something, and that's what matters. We begin the bedtime routine, but this time, I leave a little earlier. 7:40 p.m. — I take my bike for a quick ride to the cinema. It's only about 10 minutes away. I've been craving a movie night, so I head out to watch Mickey 17 by myself ($14.02). I grab popcorn and a soda ($8.09) to enjoy during the movie. I know I'll be tired tomorrow, but I really needed this break from the routine. I come back home around 10 p.m., feeling refreshed and ready to sleep. $22.11 Daily Total: $234.35 Day Seven: Tuesday 7 a.m. — Today is an office day. I work from home three days a week, but Tuesdays and Thursdays are for going into the office. As usual, the morning is a bit chaotic. I have a quick breakfast of eggs and ham, then get the kids ready for the day. R. takes our daughter to kindergarten, and I bike our son to his. After I drop him off, I quickly bike to work, which takes about 25 minutes. I make it on time for the first meeting of the day. 12:30 p.m. — When I'm in the office, I usually take the opportunity to eat out by myself. It's my time to relax, and I love enjoying a full meal without any distractions. There's a fantastic Vietnamese place near my office where I get bun cha, one of my favorites. I also grab a soda from the office kitchen, so I don't have to spend extra on drinks. The meal costs $14.50, but it's worth it for the break. $14.50 5 p.m. — After work, I take the chance to treat myself. It's been a while since I got my nails done, so I go for a manicure. I try to do this every couple of months, as it feels like a little luxury for me. I sit back, relax, and watch a K-drama while the manicure is done. I feel so much better afterward. $34.62 6 p.m. — When I get home, I give our house assistant $55 to cover her monthly transportation costs from our joint account. We've been doing this for a while, and she's always so appreciative. She's been with us for over three years, and I'm so happy for her as she's about to leave to pursue her nursing career. We're still figuring out the best setup for extra weekly help, especially since we're going to my home country for five weeks soon. I want to make sure we manage everything carefully while we're away. 7:30 p.m. — We start the night routine with the kids. They're getting more independent, but there are still some challenges. We manage to get them into bed just after 8 p.m., which is a small victory. I spend some time reading while I wait for them to fall asleep. By 8:30 p.m., they're asleep. R. and I watch some TV, but I end up passing out on the sofa. He wakes me up, and I manage to drag myself to bed at 9:30 p.m. Daily Total: $49.12 The Breakdown Conclusion 'Looking at our weekly expenses made me realise that, while we don't overspend and enjoy a comfortable life, we haven't been actively investing or preparing for the future. Writing down every detail showed a clear pattern — too much spending, not enough saving. It triggered some FOMO, especially seeing other women planning their retirements and making smart investments. That motivated me to start casually looking at apartments, and when someone posted about a new building in my home country, I pushed my brother to visit it. After a week of running the numbers and convincing my husband — who eventually came on board — we decided to invest. Honestly, I was ready to go ahead either way. We're buying it as a rental property for now, not sure what the future holds, but it feels incredibly good to finally have something in our name and a way to keep our savings in something tangible.'
