I downloaded Tea, the new man-shaming app. Here's what I learnt

Times

24-07-2025

An app that allows women to anonymously review the men they date became the most popular download in the US iPhone app store on Thursday.
Tea, founded in 2023 by the Silicon Valley developer Sean Cook, went viral on Wednesday after more than one million women signed up in the past week.
The app uses AI to verify users' selfies and ensure that they are women. Once verified, users can post photos of men — mainly scraped from dating profiles — and demand 'the tea', or gossip, about them from other female users.
The concept is the same as the viral Facebook group 'Are we dating the same guy?', in which women appeal for dirt on the men they date. But Tea takes the idea to a whole new level, using reverse image search to find other online photos of the men and exposing potentially slanderous details about them — fake names, double lives, you name it. The AI tool that dredges up these smears is called 'Catfish Finder AI'.
The app can also expose phone numbers, perform background checks, and dig up criminal histories and public records. But it is the Tea Party Group Chat that is causing the most concern from disgruntled male daters. While the app uses a moderation tool called 'SafeSip' to remove harmful content, men on X are complaining that they're being 'doxxed' — a form of cyberbullying where private information is posted without the person's consent.
One man laments that it's 'a place where hurt women can … tell a one-sided story about men and damage their name without any context or proof'; another worries about a future destroyed by 'surveillance by our peers'.
Free to download and exclusive to the US, Tea is not easy to access. I had to submit a selfie (to verify that I am a woman) before being added to a waiting list behind 13,000 other potential users. Even though I was able to move to the front of the line by recommending the app to a friend — a feature intended to boost usership — it takes hours to be accepted. And having scoured men's rights boards on Reddit, I begin to doubt the efficacy of the sex-verification tool at all: one man boasted that he gained access to the app after he 'asked ChatGPT' to transform his picture into that of a woman.
You don't have to get inside the Tea app to feel its toxicity. Screenshots from the app on Reddit reveal some shocking claims from female users. 'Avoid this man!!' says one. 'His name is [redacted]. He has mouth herpes and STDs. He lies to get what he wants then will ghost you after.'
Another man is described as 'abusive, pathological liar, manic and victim mentality. Loves drama.' Another user calls a guy a 'meth addict. Will emotionally and physically abuse women. Secret life with gay older men.' In other examples, women post pictures of their partners while they are sleeping to find out if other women recognise him. Users are even able to set alerts for a particular man's name.
This Tea is bitter indeed.
When I downloaded the app, it gave me a series of promises: 'everything is anonymous', 'screenshots are impossible', 'you can search all posts in the country by a man's name'. Reassuring, certainly — as long as you're a woman using it, and not a man who could be torn apart by gossip.
And yet Tea claims to be doing good. To reinforce this altruistic 'purpose', it declares that 10 per cent of its proceeds are donated to the National Domestic Violence Hotline.
Here's the truth: Tea pours fuel on an already fraught dating scene for my generation. It may be well intentioned, but it will inevitability chill any sense of romantic risk or hope for authenticity among my peers. Worse, the app hides behind the idea of transparency: nothing to hide, nothing to fear. But this is simply vigilante justice, entirely reliant on the scruples of anonymous women. With Tea on the scene, what man would ever dare date a woman again?