The Onion's Exclusive Interview With Dakota Johnson
The Onion : What drew you to Materialists ?
Johnson: I wanted a free trip to New York City. I'd never been before. It's cute.
The Onion : What was it like working with Pedro Pascal and Chris Evans?
Johnson: Tough. They kept getting into the trash. You can clap your hands really loudly or try a spray, but face it: If they want to get in, they'll get in.
The Onion : Last year, you launched an online book club. What book are you reading now?
Johnson: We finished them all! We have moved on to songs.
The Onion : How do you prepare for a typical role?
Johnson: I practice looking directly at people while simultaneously looking past them.
The Onion: What's in your purse?
Johnson: More bangs.
The Onion : How do you deal with the accusations that you wouldn't be where you are today if it wasn't for your famous family?
Johnson: Whenever someone says something like that, I kill one of my parents.
The Onion : It's been 10 years since Fifty Shades Of Grey came out. What message do you hope people took from that film?
Johnson: That sex is immoral and disgusting.
The Onion : What's next for you?
Johnson: I'm trying to learn 'walk the dog' on my yo-yo.
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