10 Relationship Books To Reshape Your Perspective Of Love
Good relationships form the basis of nearly everything we do in our lives, from spending time with family and friends to advancing in the workplace. Little wonder, then, that so many people desire relationship books that can teach them how to deepen and strengthen their bonds. By reading about others' experiences, building connections between strategies and your own life, and being open to changing your behavior patterns, you can learn things from relationship communication books that will change your life for the better. Many works focus on different types of relationships, offering a range of possibilities for improvement. The best relationship books on this list also answer your biggest life questions.
Most of these books focus on romantic relationships, though others cover familial, friendship and work connections. Tomes about relationships are a small niche among general self-help books that give readers insights into specific areas of concern rather than broader self-improvement.
The rankings on this list were determined based on the reputation and expertise of the authors, commercial success and the enduring longer-term popularity of these powerful books.
Clinical psychologist Sue Johnson shows couples how to form long-lasting emotional bonds in this modern relationship classic that has sold more than one million copies. She advises couples to identify their 'raw' spots, revisit their rockiest moments and recognize unhealthy dialogue patterns to keep love alive.
This book is best for those who have been in a relationship for a long time and want to reinvigorate things. Sue Johnson's Hold Me Tight is available from publisher Hachette.
A list of books about relationships must include sex, an essential element of many romantic relationships. Emily Nagoski's instant New York Times bestseller lays out the keys to a happy sex life in a long-term relationship. She explains how relationship issues can contribute to problems in the bedroom and provides vocabulary for discussing sex.
This book is best for anyone in a sexual relationship. Emily Nagoski's Come Together is available from publisher Penguin Random House.
The New York Times called Attached 'gripping.' Written by a neuroscientist and a psychologist, it employs science to suggest ways to improve relationship-building based on the three attachment styles. By determining your attachment style, you can discover the best way to build connections with a partner and improve the way you interact.
This book is best for those looking for reasons why a relationship may not be working. Amir Levine and Rachel Heller's Attached is available from publisher Penguin Random House.
While memoirs are rarely self-help books, this one based on Mandy Len Catron's popular New York Times essay has elements of both. She delivers revelatory insights on why we fail to achieve intimacy and examines how myths about romance can damage our relationships using the lens of her parents' divorce and her breakup.
This book is best for those wondering if everlasting love is possible. Mandy Len Catron's How to Fall in Love with Anyone is available from publisher Simon & Schuster.
This essay collection is a breath of fresh air. It reminds everyone they deserve to see themselves reflected in conversations about relationships, focusing on Black joy in romance. The book also demands that relationships be enjoyable and not a grind—and shows the impact of seeing relationships depicted in pop culture.
This book is best for anyone (Black or another race) who wants to celebrate romantic joy. Jessica P. Pryde's Black Love Matters is available from publisher Penguin Random House.
Considered a modern classic, this New York Times bestseller looks at love from a unique perspective—based on our relationships with one another within the nation and how we can heal as a collective. Whether you want to improve professional or platonic relationships, you can benefit from this directive to use 'love' as a verb.
This book is best for those who feel they are still learning to love. Bell hooks' all about love is available from publisher HarperCollins.
Author bell hooks wrote "all about love," a book about healing the nation through love and one of ... More the best books about relationships.
Conflict between two people is inevitable, yet many shy away from it, not realizing that approaching conflict the right way can actually strengthen relationships. Love Lab co-founders Julie Schwartz Gottman and John Gottman's bestseller discusses the 'right' ways to fight and shows how different styles of communicators can resolve things together.
This book is best for conflict-averse readers. Julie Schwartz Gottman and John Gottman's Fight Right is available from publisher Penguin Random House.
Before penning Fight Right with his wife, John M. Gottman wrote this New York Times bestseller with Nan Silver. It focuses on ways to repair and strengthen marriages based on studies of couples. Finding common ground and pursuing greater intimacy are two keys to a happier, longer-lasting marriage.
This book is best for those getting married or who are already married. John M. Gottman and Nan Silver's The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work is available from publisher Penguin Random House.
Gary Chapman's much-heralded work has sold over 20 million copies during the past three decades. The book essentially asks whether you and your partner speak the same love language. Where do you stand on quality time, physical touch, gifts, acts of service and affirming words? The answers could change your life.
This book is best for those in long-term relationships struggling to see eye to eye. Gary Chapman's The Five Love Languages is available from publisher Northfield Publishing.
Renowned author Anne Lamott blends personal experiences with insights on love in this book that captures the energy, excitement and even drudgery of love. She notes at one point, 'Love is our only hope,' and this optimistic work shows us that while love can be uncomfortable, it is always worth it.
This book is best for those looking for books on grief or love later in life or anyone in search of standout audiobooks. Anne Lamott's Somehow is available from publisher Penguin Random House.
Bottom Line
Our relationships define us, and we should also have a chance to define what we want from them. By reading these relationship books, you can define what you want in a relationship and how to get it. Start your journey today!
Many people dream of finding love, but it is not always a straightforward process. If you want guidance on strengthening a blossoming relationship and taking it to a higher level, check out Eight Dates: Essential Conversations for a Lifetime of Love. This 2019 book by John Gottman, Julie Schwartz Gottman, Doug Abrams and Rachel Carlton Abrams gives couples eight conversational prompts related to trust, sex, money and more to help you get to know each other before entering a lifelong commitment.
Creating a solid marriage requires an investment of time and a willingness to become vulnerable. Milan Yerkovich and Kay Yerkovich's How We Love (2017) assists couples with identifying their intimacy styles, moving beyond patterns that have derailed you in the past, and healing conflict based on what created the problem.
The couple who learns together stays together. Make a joint investment in your relationship by reading Laugh Your Way to a Better Marriage: Unlocking the Secrets to Life, Love and Marriage by Mark Gungor (2008). Gungor emphasizes honesty and humor through his nontraditional approach to making marriage work—and he banishes the myth of the 'soulmate.'
Relationships require work, especially when one (or both) people have broken the trust that sustains them. While cheating may not have caused your issues, a book addressing the issue offers tips and strategies anyone can use. Janis A. Spring's After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful (2020) helps couples through the three stages after trust has been shattered.
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