If You Wanna Feel Like An Adult, Get These 26 Products
A ChomChom pet hair remover because when you were a kid, you didn't even realize your beloved, shaggy pup was leaving a trail of fluff wherever they went, but as an adult — it's all you can see. 😵💫 But don't fret, this little gadget will keep your couches, clothes, and carpets fur free. It picks up hair way better than any lint roller, and it's not going to scare your pets like a vacuum would.
A set of Paris Hilton coupe glasses that'll actually feel like an upgrade from your undergrad years. It's time to stop pregaming out of the bottle or with plastic cups — you deserve actual luxury (even if your budget has basically been the same since you were in college).
Plus, some wine drops to potentially help with those pesky headaches that seem to crop up every time you have a glass now. I mean, a pulsing head from drinking is basically a rite of passage into adulthood, but you shouldn't have to suffer through them just to enjoy a little sip.
An as-seen-on Shark Tank grocery bag carrier that'll help you unload all those Target bags in just one trip. One minute you're a child being enlisted by your parent to help bring groceries in, and the next thing you know, you're the parent, and all of your kids are refusing to help. Thanks, guys. 🙄
A bottle of Wet n Forget Shower Cleaner to keep your bathroom from looking like it belongs in a frat house. Here's the good news, though — using this cleaner actually requires you to put in the same level of effort as a Sigma Chi brother would put into his last relationship. That's right: none at all! Just drench your tub, wait 8–12 hours, and rinse. No scrubbing, no trying.
A pack of compression socks, because circulation regulation is no joke, especially as you get older. Compression socks can help promote healthy blood flow and can be part of an effective pain management routine. If you work a job where you stand for most of the day (servers, nurses, and teachers — I'm looking at you), you might want to give these a try. Oh, and pregnant reviewers are *loving* these for leg and feet swelling.
An earth-shattering, conversation-starting card game because it's time our party games are as sophisticated as us. And, unlike Uno, We're Not Really Strangers will build relationships — not destroy them. This game is packed with questions that'll search your heart and bare your soul.
A durable, plastic frame for all your loose posters hung up with Scotch tape. C'mon, now — this is not your college dorm. Have some decorum and use a frame. Even if your budget isn't quite ready for professionally framed art, you can still elevate your wall-hangings with this affordable beauty.
A Tree of Life retinol serum that it's probably time to start using if you remember the blue, opaque Scooby Doo gummy. This serum could help reduce fine lines, wrinkles, and dark spots with regular use. This particular formula is infused with hyaluronic acid and absorbs super quickly, so you can immediately layer it under your favorite moisturizer before bed for maximum benefits.
Plus some Supergoop Unseen Sunscreen you'll want to use daily (and diligently 😉) especially if you use retinol, which can make your skin more sensitive to the sun. This product has SPF 40, boasts a nongreasy feel, and can be used as a makeup primer.
An Oxo can opener, because if it's your first time buying one, you might as well get the best version. It's stainless steel and is built to last — and it has oversized, comfortable handles (with cushioning!!) that are designed to have a non-slip grip, even when they're wet.
And a smooth-edge can opener so no matter where you are, you can finally drink your beers topless. Wait, hold on — I meant that the can could be topless anywhere. You *might* have to keep your shirt on. Sorry for the mix-up... 😔
A Squatty Potty to help you get in an optimal pooping position and move those stubborn turds along. Why does aging come with the free gift of constipation? Like, why couldn't the added bonus of getting older be an expensive cheese wheel or something?
And some Gas-X, as if constipation wasn't enough — you're bloated now, too. These handy little tablets break down painful, existing gas trapped inside you and make it WAYYY easier to pass (which is why you might initially toot and burp a bunch after taking it). And, because you're an adult with your own Amazon account, you can buy these online and save yourself from making eye contact with a cashier while buying many, many packs of these.
Some foaming garbage disposal packets that'll help keep your sink looking (and smelling) fresh. If you've recently acquired your first disposal-having sink, heed my words: Yes, you absolutely do need to clean it. This is a great option, especially if you have the responsibilities of an adult but the gross-smell tolerance of a petulant child. All you need to do is run a bit of hot water, throw the packet in, and turn on the disposal. Boom. Clean.
A knee pillow you'll need if you've noticed that side-sleeping is beginning to get a little...uncomfortable. This pillow can help with the hip and knee pain associated with side-sleeping, and provide some *amazing* pressure-relieving support.
A set of reusable Loop earplugs that'll help muffle any sleep-disturbing noises because for some reason, aging has made you the reigning monarch of Light Sleeperdom. Each pair comes with four sets of silicone ear tips in different sizes, so you can pick the best fit and enjoy a quiet rest that's actually comfortable, too.
Plus some Loop Experience earplugs for concerts, crowds, and otherwise noisy venues. Whether you've already dealt with noise-induced hearing loss or are just trying to help out future you, these are designed to protect your hearing from damage while still letting you, well, experience the world around you. Getting older means paying a little bit more attention to your health, but it doesn't mean you have to give up having fun.
A keyboard calendar so reminiscent of the agendas that schools used to give us in middle school that you'll actually use it — just for pure nostalgia's sake. Plus, this planner comes blank, so you can literally just use it whenever — no need to wait until the first of the month to start!
A set of detergent drip-catchers that'll finally cure the adulting ailment of laundry soap spills on your floor. Yes, there actually is a solution to this annoying problem.
A drain snaking kit with a reusable handle and five disposable wands...because, yes, you should absolutely be cleaning your drains. If your bathtub has been pooling forever, you probably have a gnarly clog — and you don't have to just deal with your feet getting pruned every time you take a shower. Just stick a snake down there — you might just be able to pull out a wig's worth of hair.
Some sweat-wicking bra liners, because gravity might have done its thing on your tatas over the years, and now your underboobs sweat like a cold drink on a hot day. These magical inventions can help with that uncomfortable, moist feeling — and the rashes that come with it.
A Baseboard Buddy that'll allow you to clean those little dust-magnets *without* hurting your back and your knees. The handy, flexible design makes it so you can clean baseboards and crown moulding without bending or straining. Plus, the dusting pads are reusable and machine washable.
Some Catrice "Instant Awake" under-eye brightener because sometimes, as we get older, we just can't seem to get enough sleep. This can help conceal dark circles with a more natural finish than a traditional 'color correcting' concealer. It's lightweight, buildable, and formulated with hyaluronic acid and shea butter for a seamless, skin-like finish.
And a porcelain butter dish, because nothing says "I'm a functioning adult with my life together" like having a designated container for one of your kitchen's most-loved dairy products. Fake it 'til you make it, right?
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