‘Smurfs' Review: Rihanna and James Corden Lead All-Star Voice Cast in a Reboot That Chooses Chaos Over Charm

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It's been eight years since the last theatrical Smurfs movie, and you know what that means. A whole new crop of very young children are primed to experience their favorite animated characters on the big screen. Unfortunately, what they're getting is Paramount's new reboot featuring the sort of ridiculously overstuffed big-name cast whose names will mean absolutely nothing to them but will provide some reassurance to their adult chaperones, who would no doubt prefer to be watching the new I Know What You Did Last Summer at the adjoining multiplex theater.
Not-so-imaginatively titled Smurfs, this latest incarnation represents the sort of charmless, wildly chaotic animated effort that has the unintended effect of reminding us why cutting publicly funded children's television is such a terrible idea. It's directed by Chris Miller (Puss in Boots, Shrek the Third), who also voices Grouchy Smurf. Watching the movie makes it easy to understand why he chose that character.
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The screenplay is by Pam Brady, who previously wrote such subversive animated efforts as South Park: Bigger, Long & Uncut and Team America: World Police, providing some hope that maybe this is all some big put-on. That's sadly not the case — instead, we get the sort of generic storyline in which evil wizards are once again intent on world domination, in this case by kidnapping Papa Smurf (John Goodman) in an attempt to procure a magic book that will help them achieve their ends. (At least I think that's what the story was. It seemed mostly incomprehensible to me, and asking the seven-year-old sitting nearby to explain it might have come across as creepy.)
Anyway, it's up to Smurfette (voiced by Rihanna) to lead her fellow Smurfs in a mission to save their patriarch. Among them is No Name, who's suffering an identity crisis because, unlike such fellow Smurfs as Hefty Smurf (Alex Winter), Worry Smurf (Billie Lourd) and Vanity Smurf (Maya Erskine), he doesn't have a 'thing.' He's voiced by James Corden, and for those of you desperately missing Carpool Karaoke, rest assured that you get to hear Corden crooning a power ballad.
Yes, this is one of those animated movies in which the characters periodically break into song, and sometimes even elaborate dance numbers. None of the songs, not even Rihanna's 'Friend of Mine,' proves particularly memorable. But there are certainly enough of them to fill the inevitable soundtrack album.
The Smurfs' mission launches them into the real world, including such locations as Paris, the Australian Outback, and Munich, which only serve as unpleasant reminders of Sony's previous, misbegotten animated/live-action hybrids. The Australian section features a musical number showcasing CGI kangaroos, which even one of the characters aptly describes as 'weird.' It also serves to introduce us to the Snooterpoots — small, feathered, Minion-like creatures who will definitely be showing up at a toy store near you. Their leader, Mama Poot, is voiced by Natasha Lyonne, who uses her distinct gravelly voice to good comic effect. The Smurfs also venture into alternate universes, as if we didn't already get enough of that nonsense from the MCU.
Weirdly, there's a lot of sibling stuff going on in the movie. The villains are brother evil wizards Razamel and Gargamel (both played by JP Karliak), who have serious rivalry issues. And Papa Smurf has not one but two brothers, Ken (the ever-reliable Nick Offerman) and long-lost Ron (Kurt Russell), who, needless to say, reappears by the story's end.
It was telling that at a preview screening packed with young children, there was nary a laugh to be heard despite the film featuring one would-be joke after another. The sole exception was when one of the Smurfs referred to himself as 'kick-ass,' with the profanity bleeped out, which the kids found absolutely hilarious.
If you look at the credits box accompanying this review, you'll see that the cast also includes such ringers as Amy Sedaris, Sandra Oh, Jimmy Kimmel, Octavia Spencer, Nick Kroll, Hannah Waddingham and Daniel Levy, among others. Few of them make any impression whatsoever, but it's comforting to know that already overpaid stars are getting big bucks to sit in recording booths for a couple of days while reading from scripts.
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