Mizzou's Eli Drinkwitz is college football's Tobias Fünke
We can only assume that in Drinkwitz's youth, someone once told him he was funny, and ol' Eli didn't think to fact check this. Instead, the 42-year-old grew up to become college football's King of Cringe. He's like something out of a television show these days.
A specific television show, actually. Even more specifically, a certain character on that show: Tobias Fünke of Arrested Development, portrayed by David Cross.
No one TV history has been able to turn seemingly innocuous explanations into unnerving innuendo quite like Tobias. And no one has been able to match his, er, wit, in real life quite like Drinkwitz.
Don't believe me? Let's try putting some extremely real Drinkwitz quotes over Tobias memes and see what happens.
Of course, there's more to Tobias than unfortunate turns of phrase. Tobias Fünke has an essence that can be described as delusional, theatrical and the result of a deep-seeded need for recognition beyond his infamous in-laws.
Drinkwitz fits the bill here flawlessly.
"Hey guys, I got a quick phone call, Connor Stalions beeping in right here."–Missouri coach Eliah Drinkwitz on the upcoming bowl matchup with Ohio State pic.twitter.com/INsuEbaM3y
A heated Eliah Drinkwitz appears to yell 'f*** you' three times after Alabama's personal foul penalty against Missouri's Brady Cook. pic.twitter.com/mxdbley7ll
Brian Kelly: 'I have the most Embarrassing Clip In CFB'Drink:pic.twitter.com/EczdoL2hvr
To be clear, there is nothing inherently wrong with being dorky. It can, however, make recruiting a bit tougher and force players to answer for your antics.
But Drinkwitz's results speak for themselves. He's won at least 10 games in each of the last two seasons, including a Cotton Bowl and Music City Bowl along the way. As long as he keeps that up, Missouri will gladly withstand his abysmal attempts at humor.
If he falls off, he'll need a new start pronto. Hopefully, he just doesn't have a desire to put that on a license plate. It's already taken.
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