Father Defends Buying 16-Year-Old a Luxury Car and Refuses to Spend on Ex-Wife's Kids
NEED TO KNOW
A dad's birthday gift for his 16-year-old son sparks a heated disagreement
His ex-wife raises concerns about fairness and safety
The father insists his financial responsibility is limited to one child
A man seeks support from the Reddit community following backlash from his ex-wife over buying their 16-year-old son a luxury car. The father, 47, says he and his ex, 'Anna,' 44, have an 'okay relationship' but that their lives and values have always been different.
'We actually have an okay relationship but things just didn't work out because I put my career first and she's more of a 'follow your heart' kind of person,' he explains, adding that he sees her as financially irresponsible.
The two divorced when she was pregnant with their son, and Anna later had two more children — a now 15-year-old boy and a 14-year-old girl.
According to the father, Anna 'always complains that I have money to spend on our son but I never spend anything on his siblings.' He notes that Anna's husband, who is the father of her other children, sometimes buys gifts for his son, but the situation is not mutual.
'While that's nice of him I'm not interested in the whole blended family thing, I have one child and that's it,' he says. The dad shares that he doesn't buy Anna's other children birthday or Christmas gifts, nor does he take them on vacations.
He says the tension often flares up when he takes his son out of school to travel. 'She thinks it's unfair to his siblings and I'm making him fall behind but that's honestly not the reason — she's just in denial,' he writes.
The latest argument happened when their son turned 16. 'I got him his dream car which was a 'luxury' car,' the father says, though he downplays the label.
'The way I see it any car is a luxury since any new model car can be expensive so I don't think it makes him that spoiled,' he explains. He insists that buying the car is well within his means and believes, 'since I'm not [breaking the bank] and he's my only son he should have whatever he likes.'
Anna, however, was not impressed with the gift. He says she accused him of getting their son a vehicle 'he could 'kill himself' with' and was upset because 'with the money I could have gotten all three kids cars or at least money for ones in the future.'
The father says this suggestion made him angry. 'First of all her kids aren't old enough to drive… and when they do get old enough why would I be the one to buy them a car?' he writes.
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The argument escalated, and he admits his own behavior may have crossed a line. 'I might be the a-- because I did call her THAT word, in front of our son and I told her I didn't care about her kids,' he recalls.
He says Anna responded by calling him 'heartless,' but he defends his stance. 'That's just how I really feel, I don't want to be anything to them,' he insists.
The fallout has left the new car sitting with him for now. 'Right now I have the car because she won't let him keep it at her house which just feels petty,' he says.
In the Reddit thread, one commenter sides with the father, telling him, 'Anna needs to understand that her kids are nothing to you, whereas your son is her husband's stepson. That is not the same at all.' The commenter adds that as long as he is not encouraging his son to mistreat his half-siblings, 'everything is good.'
The father agrees with this assessment. 'Exactly, none of them are the type to get into fights with each other and they all seem to get along,' he says. 'I'd say everything's good.'
Now, the dad is left questioning whether he crossed a line by making his feelings about Anna's children so clear.
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