Here's What Happens When You Mix Alcohol and Sex
The implication that alcohol works like some sort of love potion has been around for ages. It's a common belief that alcohol gets you loosened up, horny, and ready for action.
But does alcohol actually have an aphrodisiac effect? Is there such a thing as beer goggles? Will drinking make your orgasms better, or just leave you too sloshed to orgasm at all?
Here's a look at how alcohol actually affects your sexual desire, arousal, and performance.
Alcohol's effects on sexual desire
A drink or two may boost arousal, but it's not a sure bet.
At low doses, alcohol may lower inhibitions and produce feelings of euphoria, which may lead some people to be more open or receptive to sexual activity.
There's also an element of expectation. People often associate drinking with lowered inhibitions and feeling sexier and more confident. It's kind of like a self-fulfilling prophecy: If you expect to get lucky when you're drinking, you probably will.
Heavy drinking, in contrast, is associated with the opposite effect, and alcohol dependence is associated with sexual dysfunction.
Alcohol's effects on sexual function
Alcohol is a central nervous system depressant, which means that it slows down certain body functions, including breathing, brain function, and blood flow.
This can negatively affect sexual experiences in various ways:
By making it more difficult to get and maintain an erection
Alcohol can affect the ability to get and maintain an erection. This is because:
It decreases blood flow to the penis.
It depresses your central nervous system.
It increases angiotensin, a hormone linked to both hypertension (high blood pressure) and erectile dysfunction.
Drinking too much on the regular can also cause permanent damage and erectile dysfunction.
By reducing vaginal lubrication
When you're aroused, your body prepares for intercourse by increasing blood flow to your genitals, causing them to swell and self-lubricate.
Drinking too much can affect these physiological responses and reduce vaginal wetness, resulting in friction and discomfort.
By reducing sexual stimulation
Drinking large amounts of alcohol can also reduce sexual stimulation or the pleasurable feelings associated with sexual activity.
This reduced genital response happens because of restricted blood flow and brain function.
It can make sexual activity after consuming large amounts of alcohol not feel as pleasurable as it would otherwise.
Alcohol's effects on orgasm
Alcohol can make it more difficult to reach orgasm.
This affects people with penises and people with vaginas.
While one drink may not interfere with blood flow down there, one drink too many can have a physiological, cognitive, and behavioral impact that can cause alcohol-induced orgasmic dysfunction.
Orgasmic dysfunction can mean:
taking longer to climax or experiencing delayed ejaculation, which is taking longer than 30 minutes to reach orgasm and ejaculate with sexual stimulation
having less intense orgasms
not being able to orgasm
It's unlikely that a couple of drinks are going to prevent you from ejaculating, but drinking too much can.
Drinking large amounts of alcohol regularly, such as having alcohol use disorder (AUD), can also negatively affect your ability to orgasm.
Alcohol's effects on risk-taking
A drink or two may have a relaxing effect and lower inhibitions. This might make you more open to exploring new things or engaging in sexual activity.
However, drinking large amounts of alcohol can affect your decision making and impulsivity. This may cause you to make decisions you wouldn't necessarily make otherwise, such as engaging in sexual activity without using a barrier method like a condom.
Alcohol, consent, and sexual assault
Consent is a clear, voluntary agreement to take part in sexual activity. This includes all sexual activity, including:
touching
kissing
oral sex
anal sex
vaginal sex
You need to give and get consent before taking part in any kind of sexual activity, so all involved are sure the sexual activity is wanted and agreed to.
Alcohol can impair a person's judgment, affect their ability to communicate clearly, and even make it hard to read what someone is trying to say or express. This can make it hard to have a straightforward conversation about consent. Alcohol doesn't cause sexual assault, but alcohol use can be a contributing factor.
Clear consent is necessary before any type of sexual contact. Alcohol doesn't exempt anyone from that. Getting consent before and during sexual activity is extremely important when mixing alcohol and sex.
If someone has consumed too much alcohol, they cannot give clear consent. Engaging in any type of sexual activity with someone who's too drunk to give consent is sexual assault or rape.
Verbal consent
The best way to ensure you have consent is to straight up ask. You can be direct and name or describe the act you're talking about, like, 'Can I kiss/go down on you?' or you can ask them what they want to do.
You can also talk about what you both want beforehand and set clear boundaries and expectations. Be sure to check in during, too, by asking if they're still into it and before moving on to another sexual act.
Remember that you can both change your mind and withdraw consent at any time, even during the sexual encounter.
Nonverbal consent
Body language, including facial expressions and hand gestures, can be used to give consent.
Make sure it's obvious, enthusiastic, and clear before and during any sexual activity. This is especially important when there's alcohol involved, since drinking can make things fuzzy and impair a person's judgment.
Some examples are nodding your head to say yes or shaking your head to say no. Pulling someone closer to you can indicate consent, while pushing someone away or turning away from them shows you don't consent.
If someone appears uncomfortable or you're not sure, stop what you're doing and ask verbally. Consent should be obvious and enthusiastic, even if no words are used.
What to do if you've been sexually assaulted:
Call 911 if you're in immediate danger or are injured.
Reach out to someone you trust. You don't have to go through this alone.
Contact the police to report the sexual assault. What happened to you is a crime.
If you're raped, get a 'rape kit' completed immediately. This can be administered at a hospital or clinic and will be useful to collect evidence, regardless of whether or not you've decided to report the sexual assault to the police.
Contact your local sexual assault center to seek counseling.
Call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-800-656-4673.
Best practices to keep in mind
Alcohol can definitely muddy things up when it comes to engaging in sexual acts with someone else, but there are some things you can do:
Set a drink limit: Stick to it to avoid drinking more than you mean to. The Dietary Guidelines for Americans 2020-2025 recommends two drinks or less per day for males and one drink or less per day for females.
Pace yourself: Alternate between alcoholic and nonalcoholic drinks.
Bring protection: If you think tonight might be the night, pack some form of barrier method protection, regardless of whether you're expecting oral, vaginal, or anal sex.
Your body, your prerogative: Do not be pressured into doing anything you don't want. Do not try to coerce anyone else into sexual activity.
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