'The people of Galway take Race Week off - to spend more time in worse traffic'
Maybe you're in the midlands and you've spotted someone wearing an oversized jumper, with bongo drums, and four thin dogs on bailing twine.
You may have thought "that person looks lost - I'll give Galway a call, they're probably looking for that person in Eyre Square"...
So you phone Galway and no response. Not even a message minder saying "thanks for calling Shop Street, we'll call back if we get some arts grants".
And then you realise. Ah... It's the Galway Races. The lost hippy with the bongo drum will have to find their own way back to their spiritual home.
For a city that spends most of the time in traffic, the people of Galway all take Race Week off - mostly to spend even more time in worse traffic.
Those who have jobs take Race Week off. Those who don't have jobs take Race Week off too.
Credit to the good men and women of the Emergency Services who are always working. Them, and people who sell coffee or chips from trailers.
So you might see work happening if someone scalds themselves with an americano after bumping into someone with a snackbox.
Other than that, forget about it. There's a small minority who wear their special clothes and watch wonderful tiny people do amazing things on horses.
Everyone else is having pints or - in these challenging times - slightly less expensive cans.
Neachtains pub will be so crowded there might even be people in there who don't qualify for an arts grant.
Many people celebrate their time off by avoiding the city and instead visiting the towns and villages they actually live in.
Oranmore, for example, will be packed as there will be a huge influx of people from Oranmore.
There might be tourists. You'll know them because they'll be dressed for the weather - not for a Netflix drama based in industrial England.
You can tell it's Race Week because there's fewer helicopters in the sky. Locals might quip: "It must be the races because it's not like Apocalypse Now".
So if you need to contact Galway, wait two weeks. Or maybe give Clare, Sligo or Mayo a shout instead.
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