I won't be shamed for having an elective c-section — trust me, it wasn't easy
Oh dear. Even while still nursing a very sore scar and after months of replying 'because I want one' to NHS midwives and obstetricians who asked 'and why do you want a caesarean?', I had still internalised the message that it's somehow 'cheating'.
So let me set the record straight: I had an elective c-section and, given the experiences of other women I know — some of whom still can't talk about their births years later — I'd do the same thing again in a heartbeat. But it really wasn't a shortcut. I don't want to sugarcoat it: this is major surgery and my recovery was slow, painful and reliant on painkillers (I was taking codeine on and off for three weeks, when I'd expected maybe one). I had to inject my stomach with anti-clotting drugs for ten days afterwards. Still no regrets.
• I'm not breastfeeding. Why are mothers still pressured into it?
That's me. I have no interest in playing different types of birth off against one another. But what I do want to talk about is how we're letting women down by withholding information, conflating facts and scaremongering, where we should be doing everything in our power to inform and reassure.
Take the new Nice guidance, published this week and designed to improve care for women having caesareans. One minor problem: it conflates the data for planned c-sections and emergency ones. And, as any woman who's had the latter (often after many hours of excruciating and exhausting labour in the pursuit of a vaginal birth) will tell you, there's a bloody world of difference.
Lumping the two together is unfair and skews the statistics — for example that one in 25,000 vaginal deliveries ends in maternal death, compared to one in 4,000 for caesareans. Except that includes emergency caesareans, where the mother or baby is in distress and already at risk.
For crying out loud. Nice has explained that it's too difficult to separate the two, but frankly I'd rather it didn't publish any numbers than ones that could confuse women even more. How about properly informing parents-to-be, rather than scaring them?
It plays directly into the stigma that still exists around choosing a caesarean — that you're entitled and happy to put your baby at risk. A pal admitted to me that before having her daughter, by emergency c-section, she might have judged other women for actively choosing that type of birth. 'Of course, I feel ridiculous now,' she said.
I don't blame her. We're rarely told another story, one that says planned caesareans — while not a walk in the park — are at least, all being well, more predictable. I arrived at the hospital feeling calm, my Spotify playlist prepped, happy in the knowledge that my baby would be lying on my chest about 30 minutes after the anaesthetist said: 'Can you feel that?'
After two decades of suffering thanks to undiagnosed endometriosis and adenomyosis, I wanted some control over how I gave birth. Yet even I felt a bit embarrassed and felt I had to explain to anyone who asked. When I was eventually told that, a) it would actually be more sensible to have a caesarean given my health conditions, and b) that the baby was breech, meaning he couldn't come out via the traditional route anyway, I felt a wave of relief. Now I had a proper excuse as to why I needed a caesarean and didn't just want one. Looking back, I find it sad that I felt that way.
• My painful battle to have the 'unnatural' birth I wanted
Out of eight women in my antenatal class, two of us planned caesareans. We spent most of the sessions eye-rolling at each other across the room as our tutor focused on 'normal' birth (the worst term imaginable if you're not having one), and pretty much ignored us, aside from a few minutes spent playing with tiny plastic dolls to demonstrate how many people would be in the room during our surgery. Translation: heavily medicalised and 'unnatural' birth, which also happens to be more expensive for the NHS.
And yet. Out of those eight women, seven ended up having caesareans — five emergencies. No wonder they now feel furious that they weren't better equipped to cope.
It might be anecdotal, but it's also not unusual from where I'm sitting. A friend tells me that out of the eight women in her antenatal group, every single one of them ended up having caesareans. Off the top of my head, I can think of four electives among my wider social circle and upwards of 20 emergencies.
According to NHS Digital, 46 per cent of all the births in England last September were vaginal and 44 per cent were c-section (the other 10 per cent involved instruments). So what exactly is a 'normal' birth now?
Officially, the NHS has moved away from its target-led pushing of vaginal birth over caesarean and most women I know haven't had to fight to get one. But what seems more common is uncertainty around when those c-sections might actually take place — time not really being all that flexible at the end of a pregnancy.
The NHS says you'll get a date two weeks in advance, with the surgery planned from your 39th week onwards. Hmm. One pal was told the hospital could call her the day before — would that be OK? Another currently has hers scheduled for the end of the week and is terrified by the prospect that she'll be pushed down the list and have to wait until the following Monday. Me? I got a call from the birthing unit to book mine when I was already 38 weeks and three days (having not been booked in, I'd moved my care elsewhere at the last minute).
• Natural birth v caesarean — what the latest statistics tell us
I know the NHS is stretched but, as one friend put it, it's like they're delaying in the hopes you go into labour and they don't have to pay. For any woman who's been trying to book in for the best part of nine months, it's a nervy prospect, a bit like relying on the Glastonbury resale to get a ticket.
Look, I don't want to scare anyone. I hope I haven't. The biggest problem we have is how petrified we make mothers-to-be, or those who haven't yet made up their minds about starting a family. But we're letting women down if we don't tell them the truth: that whatever birth you want is the right birth for you — just also make a plan A, B or C. After all, babies tend not to behave as you want them to, even before they've been born.
Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles
The Independent
12 minutes ago
- The Independent
Questions on CPR to be added to driving theory test
Learner drivers are to be tested on their CPR skills in an update to the theory test. The Driver and Vehicle Standards Agency (DVSA) – which oversees driving tests in Britain – said motorists are often 'first on the scene' when someone suffers a cardiac arrest. Therefore, adding questions on CPR and defibrillators to the theory test from early next year means candidates will 'have a better understanding of the skills to use in an emergency', it added. More than 40,000 people in the UK suffer an out-of-hospital cardiac arrest each year, with fewer than one in 10 surviving. Research has found survival rates can be as high as 70 per cent if CPR is given and a defibrillator used within three to five minutes of collapse. DVSA chief driving examiner Mark Winn said: 'Part of being a safe and responsible driver is knowing what to do in an emergency – how to step in and make a real, life-saving difference. 'Learning CPR and how to use a defibrillator is a very simple skill, and adding this into the official learning resource is a great way for DVSA to support the drive to raise awareness.' The push for the change was led by Professor Len Nokes – chair of the Save a Life Cymru scheme – whose 24-year-old daughter Claire died in 2017 from complications following a cardiac arrest. He said: 'When Claire, my daughter, had her cardiac arrest, some knowledge of CPR might have made a difference. 'I don't want any other family to go through this experience. 'All of us in this partnership hope that by making CPR and how to use a defibrillator part of the theory test, we will be able to significantly increase the number of people who have this life-saving awareness.' James Cant, chief executive of charity Resuscitation Council UK, said: 'By embedding these life-saving skills into such a widely-taken assessment, we can help ensure that more people, from all communities, gain the knowledge and confidence to act during a cardiac arrest.' Learners must pass the theory driving test before booking a practical test. Theory test candidates are required to get at least 43 out of 50 multiple-choice questions correct, covering areas such as road signs, traffic laws, vehicle safety and first aid. They must also pass a hazard perception video test.
The Independent
12 minutes ago
- The Independent
CPR questions to be added to driving theory test
Learner drivers are to be quizzed on their CPR skills in an update to the theory test. The Driver and Vehicle Standards Agency (DVSA) – which oversees driving tests in Britain – said motorists are often 'first on the scene' when someone suffers a cardiac arrest. Adding questions on CPR and defibrillators to the theory test from early next year means candidates will 'have a better understanding of the skills to use in an emergency', it added. More than 40,000 people in the UK suffer an out-of-hospital cardiac arrest each year, with fewer than one in 10 surviving. Research has found survival rates can be as high as 70% if CPR is given and a defibrillator used within three to five minutes of collapse. DVSA chief driving examiner Mark Winn said: 'Part of being a safe and responsible driver is knowing what to do in an emergency – how to step in and make a real, life-saving difference. 'Learning CPR and how to use a defibrillator is a very simple skill, and adding this into the official learning resource is a great way for DVSA to support the drive to raise awareness.' The push for the change was led by Professor Len Nokes – chair of the Save a Life Cymru scheme – whose 24-year-old daughter Claire died in 2017 from complications following a cardiac arrest. He said: 'When Claire, my daughter, had her cardiac arrest, some knowledge of CPR might have made a difference. 'I don't want any other family to go through this experience. 'All of us in this partnership hope that by making CPR and how to use a defibrillator part of the theory test, we will be able to significantly increase the number of people who have this life-saving awareness.' James Cant, chief executive of charity Resuscitation Council UK, said: 'By embedding these life-saving skills into such a widely-taken assessment, we can help ensure that more people, from all communities, gain the knowledge and confidence to act during a cardiac arrest.' Learners must pass the theory driving test before booking a practical test. Theory test candidates are required to get at least 43 out of 50 multiple-choice questions correct, covering areas such as road signs, traffic laws, vehicle safety and first aid. They must also pass a hazard perception video test. More than two million theory tests are taken each year, with a pass rate of about 45%.
The Independent
12 minutes ago
- The Independent
Over-50s provided more donated organs than ever before last year, data shows
The highest-ever proportion of organ donors in the UK last year were over the age of 50, according to officials. However, only one in four people on the organ donation register are 50 or over, NHS Blood and Transplant (NHSBT) said. NHSBT analysis found there were 932 donors aged above 50 last year, making up 63% of all people who donated organs after death – the highest-ever proportion. It is now calling for more people in the age group to sign the NHS Organ Donor Register. Anthony Clarkson, director for organ and tissue donation and transplantation at NHSBT, said: 'We know from research many people aged over 50 mistakenly think they're too old to donate or that their health might stop them donating. 'However, more and more research shows that organs from older donors are lifesaving. 'The reality is the over-50s are more important to organ donation than ever. There is no age limit to organ and tissue donation, and people die every day waiting for a transplant.' According to NHSBT, the rise could be down to the ageing population, public awareness of organ donation, new techniques and more research which shows that organs from older donors can be successfully used. Nick Beresford, from London, became an organ donor at 57. He was working as the resident representative of the United Nations Development Programme in Georgia in July 2023 when he had a brain haemorrhage. His kidneys and liver were donated and transplanted into three recipients: a man in his fifties, a woman in her sixties, and another woman in her fifties. Mr Beresford's wife Angela, 51, a pilates instructor, said: 'Nick spent his whole life helping people living in extreme poverty, people with disabilities and the marginalised. He was a truly good and generous man. He was a fantastic dad and the love of my life. 'Being a donor gives others that chance, that's probably the most beautiful thing a person can do. 'I would definitely encourage other people over 50 to join the NHS Organ Donor Register – you could still save lives if something happens.' Margaret Humphries, from Richmond in London, also donated both kidneys after a brain haemorrhage aged 65. Husband John, a retired manager, said: 'My darling wife was a very giving person. Margaret's two children from her first marriage and I all agreed that donation was the right decision. 'Margaret was an absolute angel. It was very fitting that her last action would be to save somebody else.' Mr Clarkson added: 'Your organs don't need to be the same as when you in your 20s – if someone will die without a transplant, a healthy organ from someone over 50 will be a lifesaver.'
