Don't pass up shot at healing brotherly bond
DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I live in the country on very flat land, so people coming to my farm can be seen for miles. A week ago I watched this unfamiliar truck coming towards me, kicking up a lot of dust. Then it turned up the access road into my farm yard.
It was my younger brother, the notorious drunk. I told him five years ago never to come back, or one of us would probably kill the other. He took off for Alberta, or so I heard. I thought he must be drinking again to hazard coming back here, but I admit I was curious.
He turned out to be stone-cold sober.
I let him in, and fed him lunch. He said he'd quit drinking four years ago — one year after I chased him out. We started talking. The woman we fought over has been long gone from my life, too. She found another guy, or more, knowing her! He said he found that stuff out a couple years ago — not difficult to do online.
While it was bit cool between at the start, we ended up talking for hours. At the end, he asked if he could stay and help me on the farm. I balked and said I said I'd have to think about it.
He looked embarrassed and sad, and said he figured I might not want him, and he didn't blame me. Then he got back in his truck and left.
Well, l thought about it — I was awake all night. I really do want him back. I went into town to the bar today to see what I might hear, and I soon found out he has a short-term job with another farmer. How should I handle this situation?
— Estranged Brother, southwestern Manitoba
Dear Estranged Brother: Guys who want to apologize to someone often just go and present themselves. So, get in your truck and drive to the place where your brother's working. Jump out before you lose your nerve, and ask the farmer to see him.
When the farmer calls him over, ask him to talk privately, then sit with him in your truck and tell him, 'I'd like you to come work with me when you're finished here. That could be real soon, like even next week.' He'll know you're apologizing.
Hopefully he'll say, 'I'd like that.' Or, he might say he thinks it'd be better to work in the same general area, and slowly become acquainted again. That's not a 'no' answer, so don't take it as rejection.
The brotherly bond is formed over years, and thousands of experiences, and it will be good if you can take the time to work things out. Maybe you can help him find longer-lasting work with your contacts in the area, and things can continue to heal.
Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I'm flying soon to be with my girlfriend in Toronto who's going to give birth by caesarean in a few weeks. I was her bridesmaid four years ago and I will be the baby's godmother. I'm thrilled! But also, I'm feeling kind of alarmed about something. She wants to give the baby a ridiculous name from her favourite fairytale book — Cinderella.
Even if she shortens it down to Cin (pronounced 'sin' as in sinful) it's a bad name. The poor kid would be teased! Are there names for babies that are banned by law, because they will cause a child undue hardship and teasing?
— Concerned Godmother, Steinbach
Dear Concerned Godmother: Some countries disallow certain names, but in Canada, only the provinces of Quebec and British Columbia will ban baby names deemed embarrassing for a child. They simply request the parents choose another.
You might come up with some other names your girlfriend would like, but be prepared for her to reject them as it's her baby! The most likely result? The baby will be called Cinderella, but nicknamed Cindy, and that's a fine, well-accepted girl's name.
Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@hotmail.com or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6.
Maureen ScurfieldAdvice columnist
Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column.
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Winnipeg Free Press
06-07-2025
- Winnipeg Free Press
Don't pass up shot at healing brotherly bond
Opinion DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I live in the country on very flat land, so people coming to my farm can be seen for miles. A week ago I watched this unfamiliar truck coming towards me, kicking up a lot of dust. Then it turned up the access road into my farm yard. It was my younger brother, the notorious drunk. I told him five years ago never to come back, or one of us would probably kill the other. He took off for Alberta, or so I heard. I thought he must be drinking again to hazard coming back here, but I admit I was curious. He turned out to be stone-cold sober. I let him in, and fed him lunch. He said he'd quit drinking four years ago — one year after I chased him out. We started talking. The woman we fought over has been long gone from my life, too. She found another guy, or more, knowing her! He said he found that stuff out a couple years ago — not difficult to do online. While it was bit cool between at the start, we ended up talking for hours. At the end, he asked if he could stay and help me on the farm. I balked and said I said I'd have to think about it. He looked embarrassed and sad, and said he figured I might not want him, and he didn't blame me. Then he got back in his truck and left. Well, l thought about it — I was awake all night. I really do want him back. I went into town to the bar today to see what I might hear, and I soon found out he has a short-term job with another farmer. How should I handle this situation? — Estranged Brother, southwestern Manitoba Dear Estranged Brother: Guys who want to apologize to someone often just go and present themselves. So, get in your truck and drive to the place where your brother's working. Jump out before you lose your nerve, and ask the farmer to see him. When the farmer calls him over, ask him to talk privately, then sit with him in your truck and tell him, 'I'd like you to come work with me when you're finished here. That could be real soon, like even next week.' He'll know you're apologizing. Hopefully he'll say, 'I'd like that.' Or, he might say he thinks it'd be better to work in the same general area, and slowly become acquainted again. That's not a 'no' answer, so don't take it as rejection. The brotherly bond is formed over years, and thousands of experiences, and it will be good if you can take the time to work things out. Maybe you can help him find longer-lasting work with your contacts in the area, and things can continue to heal. Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I'm flying soon to be with my girlfriend in Toronto who's going to give birth by caesarean in a few weeks. I was her bridesmaid four years ago and I will be the baby's godmother. I'm thrilled! But also, I'm feeling kind of alarmed about something. She wants to give the baby a ridiculous name from her favourite fairytale book — Cinderella. Even if she shortens it down to Cin (pronounced 'sin' as in sinful) it's a bad name. The poor kid would be teased! Are there names for babies that are banned by law, because they will cause a child undue hardship and teasing? — Concerned Godmother, Steinbach Dear Concerned Godmother: Some countries disallow certain names, but in Canada, only the provinces of Quebec and British Columbia will ban baby names deemed embarrassing for a child. They simply request the parents choose another. You might come up with some other names your girlfriend would like, but be prepared for her to reject them as it's her baby! The most likely result? The baby will be called Cinderella, but nicknamed Cindy, and that's a fine, well-accepted girl's name. Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@ or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6. Maureen ScurfieldAdvice columnist Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column. Read full biography Our newsroom depends on a growing audience of readers to power our journalism. If you are not a paid reader, please consider becoming a subscriber. Our newsroom depends on its audience of readers to power our journalism. Thank you for your support.
Toronto Sun
16-05-2025
- Toronto Sun
DEAR ABBY: Teenager endures harsh treatment from wicked stepmother
A woman feels bad for her friend's stepson. Photo by file photo / Getty Images Reviews and recommendations are unbiased and products are independently selected. Postmedia may earn an affiliate commission from purchases made through links on this page. DEAR ABBY: My dear friend, 'Sandra,' is married with two children. She and her husband have a 4-year-old son together and another son from her husband's first marriage who is 14. The 14-year-old's life is tough, much like Cinderella's. Sandra treats him very badly. She has him doing all of the housework in their home, belittles him constantly and is very vocal about how much she dislikes him. Her 4-year-old can do no wrong. This advertisement has not loaded yet, but your article continues below. THIS CONTENT IS RESERVED FOR SUBSCRIBERS ONLY Subscribe now to read the latest news in your city and across Canada. Unlimited online access to articles from across Canada with one account. Get exclusive access to the Toronto Sun ePaper, an electronic replica of the print edition that you can share, download and comment on. Enjoy insights and behind-the-scenes analysis from our award-winning journalists. Support local journalists and the next generation of journalists. Daily puzzles including the New York Times Crossword. SUBSCRIBE TO UNLOCK MORE ARTICLES Subscribe now to read the latest news in your city and across Canada. Unlimited online access to articles from across Canada with one account. Get exclusive access to the Toronto Sun ePaper, an electronic replica of the print edition that you can share, download and comment on. Enjoy insights and behind-the-scenes analysis from our award-winning journalists. Support local journalists and the next generation of journalists. Daily puzzles including the New York Times Crossword. REGISTER / SIGN IN TO UNLOCK MORE ARTICLES Create an account or sign in to continue with your reading experience. Access articles from across Canada with one account. Share your thoughts and join the conversation in the comments. Enjoy additional articles per month. Get email updates from your favourite authors. THIS ARTICLE IS FREE TO READ REGISTER TO UNLOCK. Create an account or sign in to continue with your reading experience. Access articles from across Canada with one account Share your thoughts and join the conversation in the comments Enjoy additional articles per month Get email updates from your favourite authors Don't have an account? Create Account The older boy's mother has weekends with her son, but Sandra is open about not liking her either. I feel bad about how the boy is treated and want to talk to Sandra about it, but I don't know how to bring up the sensitive subject and maintain my relationship with the family. Her husband is completely on Sandra's side, so he does nothing to help the boy have a better life. Can you offer any advice? — FEELING FOR HIM IN WASHINGTON DEAR FEELING: SOMEBODY has to intervene for that boy. Why does his uncaring father have custody? Could he stay with his mother full time? Are there any other relatives who could take him in? And why would you want a relationship with a heartless couple who are so emotionally abusive? Because you apparently are the only person who cares at all about that boy, do a little research about possible alternative situations for him. However, if there are none, contact child protective services as a last resort. You won't save your friendship with Sandra, but you may save that child. Your noon-hour look at what's happening in Toronto and beyond. By signing up you consent to receive the above newsletter from Postmedia Network Inc. Please try again This advertisement has not loaded yet, but your article continues below. DEAR ABBY: My husband asked me to go into his email inbox and settle an issue with an airline. An email popped up: 'Your memories from eight years ago' from a popular photo website. We have been together eight years, and I thought I would see photos of us. They weren't . It was photos of him with his ex- fiancee , including his elaborate proposal. The proposal was something out of a dream. (He proposed to me on our family room couch.) I also realized her ring is exactly like mine. I'm so hurt. He has never been that romantic with me or put much thought into my gifts. Actually, one year he gave me bed sheets for Christmas, which I never requested . Meanwhile, I'm the one who puts effort into his family's cards and gifts and helps them with celebrations. This advertisement has not loaded yet, but your article continues below. My birthday was this month — I'm eight months pregnant and I had to pick out and buy my own birthday gift because he said he didn't know what to get me. When I let him know how hurt I feel about everything, he just said, 'Let me just go back in time,' and walked away. I feel hurt, stuck and unloved. Am I overreacting? — CRUSHED IN NEW JERSEY DEAR CRUSHED: I understand your disappointment, but my advice is to revisit this subject after your child is born and you have had more time to think about it. I don't know what happened with your husband's prior relationship, but if it had been terrific, it would have lasted. Not all men are good at planning proposals or choosing cards and gifts, but often they make up for it in other ways. Bide your time. — Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
CBC
02-10-2024
- CBC
Emily Carr painting bought for $50 could fetch $200K at auction
When art dealer Allen Treibitz went to a barn sale in New York's Hamptons a few months ago, a painting hanging in the old structure immediately caught his eye. The artwork depicting a carved grizzly bear atop a memorial totem pole bore the signature of renowned British Columbian painter Emily Carr, but Treibitz was unfamiliar with her work and legacy. Still, Treibitz, who has been dealing art for more than 40 years, said he knew there was something special about it. "It stood out from everything else in that barn," said the 61-year-old in a video call. Treibitz purchased the painting for $50 US and, after doing some preliminary research, realized its value was likely much greater. But it wasn't until he contacted Heffel Fine Art Auction House in Vancouver that he understood the scope of his discovery. "We were provided photos and there was no doubt in my mind that this was an exciting Cinderella discovery," auction house president David Heffel said in an interview. The painting will be auctioned on Nov. 20 in Toronto, with its value estimated at $100,000 to $200,000. Carr was born in Victoria in 1871 and was closely associated with the renowned Group of Seven, which includes Franklin Carmichael, Lawren Harris and A.Y. Jackson. The discovered piece, titled Masset, Q.C.I., was painted in 1912 as part of Carr's efforts to create an extensive record of the artistic heritage of First Nations communities in British Columbia. It depicts an Indigenous memorial post that stood in Masset, a village in the province's Haida Gwaii archipelago. The piece is believed to have been a gift to Carr's friend Nell Cozier and her husband in the 1930s and has been hanging in a barn in the Hamptons since. The couple had moved to the area to work as caretakers for a large estate after originally living in Victoria. "I see a lot of very interesting things [but] this one is ... the most significant thing I've ever found," Treibitz said. "The fact that it was found and that it is back to its home place is very important." Carr incorporated techniques and styles she learned while studying art in Paris in 1910-11 into the painting, including working with vibrant watercolours, former University of Guelph art history professor Gerta Moray said. Moray, who is the author of a book on First Nations imagery in Carr's work, said the style of the painting was considered a setback for the artist at the time. "Unfortunately, because of her modern Parisian post-Impressionist style, it was not well received locally," Moray said. "She could not then find a destination for it, either with the provincial museum or getting any number of public purchases." Heffel said the painting was found in its original frame and stretcher, and nothing had been done to it since it was hung in the barn. "It needed a good cleaning and freshening up," he said. Carr painted the same memorial post again in 1937, but from a different angle. Before heading to auction, her 1912 painting will be previewed at Heffel galleries in multiple cities, starting in Calgary on Friday and through the weekend. It will then be shown in Vancouver on Oct. 16-21, in Montreal on Oct. 31-Nov. 5, and in Toronto on Nov. 15-19.
