A Week In Brooklyn On A $140,000 Joint Income

Refinery29

5 days ago

Welcome to Money Diaries where we are tackling the ever-present taboo that is money. We're asking real people how they spend their hard-earned money during a seven-day period — and we're tracking every last dollar. Today: a statistical programmer who has a $140,000 joint income and who spends some of her money this week on a bench from Facebook Marketplace (it was a bit of an ordeal, but it looks great!).
Occupation: Statistical programmer
Industry: Pharmaceuticals
Age: 27
Location: Brooklyn, NY
Salary: $92,000
Joint Income/Financial Setup: My wife H. works several part-time jobs and together, our joint income is ~$140,000 (her income varies month to month). We split our rent adjusted to our respective incomes and have a joint checking account that has money from our tax return, although it is dwindling. We use the joint checking account only for groceries, shared meals, and the laundromat. H. Venmos me monthly for her half of our health insurance and utilities. (When H. moved into my old apartment a while back, we had a big discussion about splitting our expenses adjusted to our incomes. At the time, she had a very hard time looking for employment with the visa she was on, and her finances were depleted. I hated seeing her struggle and wanted to help out in any way I could, so we decided it was only fair for me to pay more in rent until she could find a job and build a safety net. It is not something I was used to, and I had only lived with roommates prior. It was a great lesson in learning how to build an equitable relationship. Now, several years later, she is set to teach at a local school in the fall and we will eventually split our rent 50/50.)
Assets: Checking account: $627.70; HYSA $9,280.93; joint checking account $184.57; family brokerage account $57,389.29; personal brokerage account $11,717.23; Roth IRA $7,399.39; 401(k) $46,739.39.
Debt: $0
Paycheck Amount (2x/month): $2,279.22
Pronouns: She/her; my wife H.'s pronouns are she/they.
Monthly Expenses
Housing Costs: Our rent is $2,150 for a two-bed, one-bath. As mentioned above, H. and I split our rent based on income, so I pay $1,450 and she pays $700. H. will be starting a full-time teaching job in the fall and once she feels comfortable financially, we will split the rent in half.
Loan Payments: $0
Gas: $11.50
Electric: $39
Phone: $0 (I am on my family's plan).
Internet: $17.50
iCloud Storage: $2.99
Netflix: $17.99 (I get HBO Max from my parents and access to Hulu and Paramount+ from friends).
Spotify: $11.99
Rock Climbing Membership: $135
Personal Training: ~$500 (I pay $1,300 for 10 weeks).
MTA OMNY: $30
Brokerage Account: $300
Roth IRA: $200
HYSA: $700
Was there an expectation for you to attend higher education? Did you participate in any form of higher education? If yes, how did you pay for it?
Absolutely. Both of my parents attended graduate school, and it was expected that I would go to a four-year college. I was very fortunate that I had the resources growing up to receive a partial scholarship to a private university and graduate school, and to have my parents pay for the tuition. I am Deaf so I qualified for my state's continuing education services program and received free housing for my four years at undergrad. When I was in grad school, I worked a research job and a teaching job to pay my rent, although my parents did help me out from time to time.
Growing up, what kind of conversations did you have about money? Did your parent(s) educate you about finances?
I learned how to write a check, and the importance of saving money. My parents both work in finance and always stressed the importance of not spending above your means, buying the things that are on sale instead, and paying off your credit card in full every month. I did not know how much my parents made, but I knew we were comfortable, and I knew every dollar I was gifted for holidays and birthdays was going into my savings account for when I was older. Now that I am older and they are nearing retirement, I appreciate their perspective on how to invest my money, how much to put into savings, and how much to save for a house in the future.
What was your first job and why did you get it?
My first job was the summer before I attended college, and I was a camp counselor at my former sleepaway camp. I mainly got the job as a way to work with camp friends and to get some spending money before going to college.
Did you worry about money growing up?
I was privileged enough not to worry about money, but I was aware of it. I lived in a diverse school district and could see the stark disparities in income between my peers. My family had a nice house in a wealthy neighborhood, went out to eat, went on vacations, etc. I did have friends that did not have these luxuries. I also have cochlear implants and received extensive speech therapy to fit into the hearing world. As I got older, I realized that many Deaf/hard of hearing people, if they wanted it, are not able to receive that.
Do you worry about money now?
I wouldn't say I worry about it, but I do think about it all the time. My wife H. came from a very different financial background and came to the US from her home country a few years ago looking for job prospects. When no one would hire her because of her short-term visa and we started the green card process, it got stressful. Money, or the lack thereof, became a topic of conversation everyday as we worried about where they would live, what to eat, etc. But now, over a year later, they have the green card and are set to start a full-time teaching job. We have discussed trying not to let lifestyle creep transform our spending, and we want to always have money in savings to fly to and from her home country, so saving more than usual is needed.
At what age did you become financially responsible for yourself and do you have a financial safety net?
Honestly, I am still not fully financially independent. My mom transfers me $1,000 at the end of every month. My parents pay for my rideshares at night if I need it for my safety (Deaf girl alone at night in the big city scares them, I think), and they pay for any cochlear implant/audiology costs that insurance doesn't pay for. I have discussed with them that I am financially stable and do not need the money, but I think it gives them a peace of mind. They have stressed that I do not owe them anything and they just want to help.
Do you or have you ever received passive or inherited income? If yes, please explain.
My parents opened a brokerage account for me when I was 13 and put my bat mitzvah money (~$15,000) in there. They also chipped in some of their own funds throughout the years. Additionally, my grandfather died last year and left me $25,000, which my father also added to the account. I am planning on using the money in this account for a down payment on a house.
Day One: Tuesday
9 a.m. — I wake up at 8 a.m., feed my cat, and log onto work for the day. I make a breakfast of a fried egg with avocado toast and get on a call with my psychiatrist. I will reimburse the cost of my visit with my HSA. $150 (Expensed)
10 a.m. — I take the subway into the city for work. Because I am Deaf, I qualify for reduced fare. I use a reduced-fare OMNY card provided by the MTA and have it set to auto-load $30 whenever my balance goes below $5. It took about four months to apply, but it was so worth it. $1.45
12:30 p.m. — The office is swarming with new interns. I am mentoring an intern this summer, and we meet over free pizza provided by the company.
3 p.m. — It's a slow day at work. It has stopped raining, and I want to go outside. I decide to hop on the train to the Lower East Side to pick up a candle and finish the workday in a coffee shop. Two months back, I got this frankincense and myrrh candle from a bookstore that H. and I loved, but I accidentally threw out the jar. I contacted the bookstore asking for the candle company name and they replied that they had one left in stock, and that they would hold onto it for me. While I would usually just order it online, I felt beholden to go pick it up from these very lovely people. $1.45
3:15 p.m. — I see a thrift store on my walk and step in. I've been on the search for more gender-affirming clothes — more boxy and gender-neutral pieces. Also, since I rock climb and do personal training, my body proportions have been changing, with new muscly arms and shoulders. It's nice to feel so strong, but annoying to have tops that are too tight around my arms! I buy a pair of jeans that don't hug my hips too much. They're a little long but since I am 5'1, most clothes are. I think one of H.'s friends can hem them for me. $15.53
3:30 p.m. — I pass by a bakery that I heard on TikTok has great chocolate chip cookies. They have run out of chocolate chip when I step inside, so I get a kitchen sink cookie. It tastes fine (i.e. it did not live up to the hype, but also maybe because I got the wrong type of cookie). $4.36
4 p.m. — I pick up the candle from the bookstore ($17.42) and head to a nearby coffee shop for a chai latte ($8.67). I was hoping to finish the rest of the workday in this coffee shop but there are no tables. Oh well, I already bought this chai so it's too late. I balance my laptop on my knees for the last hour of work. $26.09
5:30 p.m. — Done with work! I have an hour to kill before I meet with a friend to do volunteer work together. We're going to help count board votes for a non-profit. Instead of taking the subway, I decide to do a leisurely 45-minute walk.
6:15 p.m. — I arrive at the non-profit with my friend and the people there offer us tamales, rice and beans, salad, and mango juice.
8:30 p.m. — The election and vote counting is done! I love democracy! I take the subway back home. $1.45
9 p.m. — I get home, shower, and snack on Doritos while watching TV. H. is working late at their grocery store job tonight and I miss them. They get home around 11:30 p.m. and cuddle me while I am half asleep.
Daily Total: $50.33
Day Two: Wednesday
8 a.m. — I wake up, feed my cat, and log in for the day. I am working from home today to spend as much time as I can with H. before they leave tomorrow for their home country. She will be visiting loved ones for three weeks.
9 a.m. — I deliver a big submission for work. Time for breakfast. I make myself avocado toast topped with a fried egg and sriracha. H. is still sleeping since they worked late last night.
10:45 a.m. — H. goes to see friends while I walk to a nearby grocery store to get chai concentrate and oat milk. I start off every morning with a chai latte and H. with coffee, so we go through oat milk pretty fast. At the grocery store, I buy three containers of Tazo chai concentrate, a gallon of oat milk, and a Luna bar to snack on later. $29.85
11 a.m. — I put the groceries away and check my work computer. No meetings until later. I am very lucky with how flexible my job is. Most of the time, I am waiting for programming requests to come in but with the current administration, things seem to be in a standstill. I hop on the subway to pick up a bench from someone on Facebook Marketplace. H. and I have been redecorating the apartment, and a bench would be perfect for the space below our TV. I eat my Luna bar on the train and listen to the Heavyweight podcast. $1.45
12 p.m. — I arrive and wait for the person to bring down the bench. While waiting, I contact Cochlear since my insurance still won't approve my cochlear implant upgrade. Insurance is unbelievably annoying. I make an ENT appointment on Zocdoc so I can get a letter of medical necessity from them.
12:30 p.m. — The FB Marketplace person never responds. Ugh. I'm grumpy now. I look at Ubers home, but they are over $50. I head to the subway ($1.45), but stop for water first at a Dunkin ($2.69). $4.14
1 p.m. — While on the train, the FB Marketplace person gets back to me with many apologies (I think she just forgot and was in a work meeting). They offer to get me an Uber courier for my troubles. I venmo them $100 for the bench. $100
1:15 p.m. — I arrive home after a train ride that took way too long. I heat up some Trader Joe's gyoza for lunch and make a peanut sauce and cucumber salad to go along with it. The bench arrives via Uber courier and after carrying it up the stairs, it looks great in the apartment!
5:30 p.m. — H. is home! After talking for a bit, I go on a walk and talk to my parents on the phone. When I get home, I buy three New York Liberty tickets for me, H., and my dad for Father's Day. He has been talking about wanting to go to a game. H. will pay me back later for their portion of the ticket. $119.34
7 p.m. — I start on dinner while H. talks to their mom on FaceTime. I do most of the cooking, but H. does nearly all the grocery shopping (they work at a grocery store). Since H. is leaving for the airport tomorrow and I am heading to Montana for a vacation, I try to clean out the fridge as much as I can. Tonight for dinner is miso salmon with white rice, cucumbers, scallions, and quick-pickled carrots. H. and I hang out at home together for the rest of the night.
Daily Total: $254.78
Day Three: Thursday
8 a.m. — Usual morning routine. I am WFH again today. I feed my cat, make myself a chai, and work for a bit.
9:30 a.m. — H. has a friend over for a Spanish lesson over Zoom. They grab bagels for the three of us for breakfast.
12 p.m. — My UPS order for my MacBook arrives! I paid $1,338.07 for an eBay-refurbished 2023 MacBook Pro. It looks to be in great condition and I'm very happy. I set up my old PC and the new MacBook for file migration.
12:30 p.m. — H., our friend, and I get Middle Eastern food at a restaurant near us. I get a falafel platter with plenty of leftovers for tomorrow. I put down my card and H. and our friend venmo me. $18.51
3:30 p.m. — I am supposed to have personal training later in Manhattan, but I realize I'll be late to a film screening later if I go. Plus, I want to spend more time with H. before she heads to the airport. I text my trainer and because this is my first time cancelling, she doesn't charge me. I love personal training and appreciate the motivation it gives me to work out and take care of myself, but I wonder if the cost is worth it. (Update: since writing this diary, I signed up for another 10 sessions. I think I am going to keep it for now, especially since my trainer is great to work with, and it's fun to yap with her. The downside is that it is a bit out of the way from my office and apartment, but I keep thinking about the importance of strength training, and I am enjoying how I am feeling, so I don't think I will be stopping anytime soon.)
5 p.m. — I finish up work and say goodbye to H., who is heading to the airport. I am bummed. I take the subway into the city to see a Tribeca film screening of Marlee Matlin: Not Alone Anymore with a fellow Deaf friend. I got tickets ($28 each) about a month ago. $1.45
5:45 p.m. — There is a food market happening in the area and I can't resist. I grab an arepa because I don't know what the food situation will be in this theatre. $13.06
6:15 p.m. — I meet my friend at the theatre and there's a stocked concession stand. That arepa was mediocre and I'm still hungry. We get popcorn and candy to share. $11.50
8 p.m. — The movie is over, and it was wonderful! Marlee Matlin is such an icon. I take the subway home. $1.45
9 p.m. — I arrive home and call H. while they're waiting for their flight. After that, I play around with my new MacBook. I download some apps, backup my photos, and play Cascadia for the rest of the night. It's so quiet here without H. and I miss them.
Daily Total: $45.97
Day Four: Friday
8 a.m. — Happy Friday! I stayed up too late last night playing Cascadia. From the looks of it, it's a slow work day. I'm not going to make the commute to the office. I also need to get a birthday card for my friend's party tonight, a card for my brother's birthday tomorrow, and a Father's Day card. I have some Cheerios and a chai for breakfast.
11:30 a.m. — I walk to a nearby art store and buy three cards. I then go to my local library to print out the receipt for the NY Liberty tickets to put in the Father's Day card (I already had money on my library card so didn't need to pay — I think normally it's 20 cents per page for black and white printing). I return home and heat up the leftover falafel for lunch. $18.51
4 p.m. — I log off work (my job has Summer Fridays) and take a long nap. After waking up at 6 p.m., writing a birthday card, and talking to H. on FaceTime, I take the subway into the city for my friend's birthday party. The birthday party is at Margaritaville. $1.45
8:30 p.m. — Man, Margaritaville is so overstimulating. A Deaf person's nightmare. I get one strawberry margarita and a very bad pasta dish but hey, the vibes are fun otherwise — and I can see my friend is having a good time. After tax and tip for 14 people, I venmo my friend $65. I have money in my Venmo balance, so it feels free. $65
12 a.m. — After the rooftop bar closes at 12:15 a.m., it's time to head home. I take the subway and head to bed. $1.45
Daily Total: $86.41
Day Five: Friday
10 a.m. — I wake up and make myself some toast with a fried egg. I play Cascadia on my laptop for the next few hours.
2 p.m. — I quickly pack and head out to my parents' place for the weekend to celebrate both my brother's birthday and Father's Day. I buy round-trip commuter rail tickets. $17.50
3 p.m. — I buy a bag of Sun Chips at the train station to snack on. $1.80
6 p.m. — The family and I go out to dinner for my brother's birthday. I get crab-stuffed shrimp for dinner and split a salad with my mom. My parents pay for the dinner.
10 p.m. – We head home and I call H. before going to bed.
Daily Total: $19.30
Day Six: Saturday
10 a.m. — I wake up and shower at my parents' house. Today, we are getting lunch for Father's Day and then I need to head back to Brooklyn and get ready to fly to Montana tomorrow. I gift my dad the Liberty tickets and he seems happy!
12 p.m. — My parents, brother, and I get lunch for Father's Day. The rain holds up and we get to sit outside. Mom pays for the lunch.
2 p.m. — I take the train back to Brooklyn. When I get home, I realize I don't have enough underwear for my trip. I head to the laundromat and use my prepaid laundry card. $1.45
8 p.m. — I am having an allergic reaction to something. I am all swollen, itchy, and have broken out in hives. I'm not comfortable but am reluctant to get Benadryl for fear of sleeping through my alarm. I need to get up at 3:30 a.m. to head to the airport. I go to the deli near me and get a Hershey bar. I sit on my couch and watch The Beautician and the Beast for free on Pluto TV. For those of you looking for a silly 90's movie with Fran Drescher, it's perfect. $1.81
10 p.m. — OK, these allergies are getting worse. I run back to the deli and get a small pack of Benadryl. I quickly get drowsy and doze off. $1.55
Daily Total: $4.81
Day Seven: Sunday
3:30 a.m. — God, I am tired. The Benadryl is still in my system. But I am grateful I didn't sleep through my alarm and miss this flight. I call a Lyft to the airport, which is subsidized by my parents.
4:30 a.m. — Through security! Now time to get extremely overpriced food. I get a water bottle ($5.02), a chocolate croissant, and a fruit bar ($13.69). I have a layover in Chicago, and I'll get actual breakfast there later. $18.71
8 a.m. — Landed in Chicago! When I deboard, I see the airline has figured out I am Deaf and brought me a wheelchair. Typical Deaf experience. I feel so much second-hand embarrassment from it that I just walk right past them. Can someone who works for an airline explain how and why this happens? After pretending I don't exist, I walk to McDonald's and get an Egg McMuffin with hash browns and orange juice. I scarf down my breakfast and catch the next flight to Missoula. $13.15
1:30 p.m. — Hello from Montana! I'm so excited to see my friend E. and spend time with her this week. After E. meets me at the airport and we get our rental car, we grab lunch in Missoula. I get a veggie sandwich and a chai latte. After that, we drive an hour to the town we're staying in. $15
4 p.m. — After arriving at the Airbnb, E. and I drive around and run some errands. A lot of places in town are cash-only, or have high card transaction fees, so I take out $80 from an ATM. There is a $3.50 fee.
6:30 p.m. — E. and I go to her friend's place in town and E. makes risotto for all of us. We are surrounded by mountains and trees. I feel grateful to be surrounded by so much natural beauty. I am exhausted after this travel day and head to bed around 10 p.m.
Daily Total: $130.36
The Breakdown
Conclusion
'This was an interesting week to write a Money Diary since H. was in the middle of leaving to visit loved ones and I was heading to Montana. It was quite an in-between, transitional time for me, and I think I spent less than usual because I was preparing to spend a lot on my vacation (which was great! Montana is beautiful and a great place to hike. I spent a medium amount: We ate out for most of our meals, and I did a ton of thrifting, but also everything there is much cheaper. I was with my friend's little brother who is 10, so we bought him some things, too). Overall, I do try to curb my impulse spending, especially on shopping, and was pretty proud of myself for the week I had.'
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