Healthy relationships: How to help our kids set and respect boundaries
My husband and I have two sons who at some point will become grown individuals making their way in the world. If we don't teach our children about how to set boundaries for themselves and respect the boundaries of others, how can we expect them to be contributing members of society who care about themselves and others?
We try to model what boundaries look like and respect the boundaries others set, including our kids. By setting limits and learning how to stick to them, kids develop self-respect and a sense of control over their lives. They also learn how to respect the boundaries of others. Here are simple ways to help your child set boundaries.
Boundaries are the limits we set for ourselves and others to feel safe and respected. They help us to know what is and is not acceptable in our relationships. For children, boundaries are especially important because they are still learning about themselves and the world around them. By setting boundaries, parents and caregivers can help kids feel safe and secure, while also teaching them about respect for others.
Boundaries also give kids a sense of control over their lives, which can be especially helpful during times of stress or change. When children understand boundaries and feel comfortable enforcing them, they are more likely to grow into happy, healthy adults.
Physical boundaries
Physical boundaries are the limits we set on physical contact with others. They help us to feel comfortable and safe, and to show respect for other people. Boundaries can be different for each person and can change depending on the situation. For example, you might feel comfortable hugging a friend, but not a stranger. Or you might be OK with someone touching your arm, but not your hair. It's important to listen to our thoughts and feelings when setting boundaries, and to communicate them clearly to others. When we respect our own boundaries, it helps others to do the same.
Emotional boundaries
Kids need to understand that it's not OK to hurt other people's feelings on purpose. They also need to learn how to cope with their own emotions in a healthy way. Setting emotional boundaries with kids can help them to develop a strong sense of self-esteem and self-awareness.
When kids know what their emotional boundaries are, they're more likely to feel comfortable and confident in themselves. Emotional boundaries can be different for every child, but there are some general guidelines that can help you to set them.
First, it's important to allow your child to express their emotions freely. This means giving them the space to feel anger, sadness, or any other emotion without judgment or criticism.
Second, it's important to respect your child's privacy. This means keeping their confidence and respecting their right to have their own thoughts and feelings.
Finally, it's important to encourage healthy communication. This means teaching your child how to express their emotions in a constructive way and listening to them when they need to talk. By setting these emotional boundaries, you can help your child to develop into a well-rounded individual.
Opportunity for fun family time or solo self-care time
Who wants a home run for Centre Safe and the State College Spikes? Join us Aug. 7 to help cheer on the Spikes as they face the Mahoning Valley Scrappers ... and raise funds for Centre Safe at the same time! When you purchase tickets be sure to ask to sit in the Centre Safe section — that way a portion of ticket proceeds directly benefit Centre Safe, which is celebrating its 50th anniversary this year! Centre Safe also benefits from the 50/50 raffle, so try your luck and snatch up those tickets. Remember, every dollar for Centre Safe directly benefits victims and survivors across Centre County, along with their loved ones.
If you can't attend the game Aug. 7 but want to help Centre Safe, never fear. You are always welcome to donate to Centre Safe online at www.centresafe.org and click on get involved, make a donation. You can also mail checks payable to Centre Safe to 140 W. Nittany Ave., State College, PA 16801. Our clients thank you for helping to strengthen their safety net and take steps toward healing.
Jennifer Pencek is the executive director of Centre Safe. Learn more about Centre Safe at www.centresafe.org . Our confidential 24/7 hotline is toll-free at 877-234-5050. We believe you and are here for you.
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