Love me Tinder, the long and short of it

Economic Times

21-06-2025

Tinder has introduced a 'height filter' for its two highest subscription tiers in 'limited' parts of the world including India. The feature will allow women to filter out men below their preferred height. This has led to much debate about 'superficiality' on social media, arguably the most superficial medium. If you're the type who wants to have it all, there's Tinder Platinum, where 'preferences show you people who match your vibe but won't limit who you see - you'll still be able to match with people outside of your selection.'Critics have pointed out the slippery slope: why not then add a weight preference? Or a preference to do with bust size, or other body measurements? To be fair, we have built-in filters. There's a reflexive and instinctive element to who catches one's eye in the dating jungle. Tinder will claim it's only trying to fine-tune a pre-existing preference.The list of real-world filters is never-ending: race, money, authority, power, physique, ambition/lack of ambition, hair/lack of hair, brains/lack of brains, EQ, style, charm, swag, cars, bikes, bicycles, bum, nerd, jock, smoker/non-smoker, drinker/non-drinker, LDL, LFT, hobbies, tastes in cinema, music, sports, literature, politics, dietary preference... In India, one can throw in the state you belong to, caste, language, skin complexion...What happened to the phrase 'sex appeal'? It was a subjective catch-all term, which seems to have gone out of currency.Sexuality works in mysterious ways. Someone who falls for tall men will fall for them, regardless of Tinder's policy. When it comes to sex, there's a live-and-let-live principle at work - if you're not causing harm to anyone and the dealings are consensual and above board. The June issue of Baffler magazine, for instance, features a story on female wrestlers and schmoes - men who are turned on by them. The relationship is mutually beneficial.I knew someone who didn't like women who had long nails. He made his then-girlfriend chop off her nails. He married someone who keeps her nails short. After stick-on nails became popular, he had to go into therapy.Let's reverse this height apartheid. How about shorter men dating taller women? It's considered a little odd. Unless you are French. Better still - a French president, like Sarkozy or Hollande. I had a relationship with a girl much taller than me, and it was one of the best. People stared, for sure. Their problem, right? It's also somewhat true that tall women don't have an issue with men shorter than they are. It's more like men get intimidated and don't approach them. That's half the battle lost.Tall men come in different varieties. 'Tall and skinny' is different from 'tall and buff'. I don't know about the bedroom, but in real/reel life, tall buff men are relegated to being the security detail, or banished to being action heroes. They'll never get to play Bob Dylan in a biopic.The other day, I went to catch a gig at a venue called 21 Bodyguard. The place was crawling with burly men in uniform, who were hired by the management to stand around and stick out in the crowd. They looked sad and bored.I would be of average Indian height. When standing in a crowd at the theka, I'm slightly taller than the rest. Height is such a relative thing. It's easier to be taller than average in India, the land of short men, but not so in Scandinavia.What I noticed about my tall ex-girlfriend was that she was at ease walking into fast-moving traffic and crossing the road. I'd be left standing on the other side for a good 20 minutes. It holds true for tall men. They can cross the road at a time and place of their choosing - a valuable skill to have in Indian traffic. Here's hoping it helps them at the busy Tinder crossroads, too.