Deep dive into loneliness epidemic shows the deadly experience is caused by more than just social isolation

7NEWS

3 days ago

A common but stigmatised experience is having a devastating impact on Australians' bodies.
Loneliness is different to being alone — it has to do with our ability to connect — and two in five young Australians are struggling with it daily, according to a new report lifting the lid on loneliness.
'It's experienced in the brain as a physiological stressor, and that impacts our body and our mind,' study author, CEO and scientific chair of Ending Loneliness Together associate professor Michelle Lim told 7NEWS.com.au.
'It therefore has massive health implications, if we do not actually address loneliness.'
The Ending Loneliness Together report published this week for Loneliness Awareness Week, found that one in seven young people have felt 'persistently lonely' over a span of at least two years.
Chronic disease, such as heart disease and stroke, diabetes, and dementia have all been linked to loneliness and social isolation, which also negatively impacts behaviour, sleep and life expectancy, according to the Medical Journal of Australia.
Loneliness is also closely linked with depression and suicide, and the World Health Organisation estimates loneliness led to 871,000 deaths globally each year from 2014–2019.
For Taylor Bradley, the loneliness spurred on by the death of his mother almost took him to that point of no return.
'Even when I was out with friends, it was hard for me to feel that connection,' the 33-year-old from Bondi told 7NEWS.com.au.
A closer look at Bradley's experience revealed to him that his loneliness was stemming from within — he was struggling to accept who he truly was, and was heavily 'masking' as a result.
It meant that the connections he was making 'didn't feel real', he said.
Lim said that friends, family and community are not enough to bypass loneliness as our relationships need to offer genuine connection.
'All of us have very different and diverse social needs, and live in environments where not everything that we like is offered within our community,' Lim said.
Stigma and societal norms
For Bradley, getting better acquainted with himself was a major step in his journey out of loneliness — he took up yoga and meditation to disconnect from racing thoughts, and from there was able to address the 'internal wounds' affecting his ability to connect.
He later trained as a yoga teacher and co-founded the Connection Hub, a group for men to come together in a safe space that offers not just a refuge from social isolation, but an opportunity to show up authentically and explore their emotional blocks and needs.
Half of the Australians surveyed for the loneliness report said they actively conceal their loneliness, sometimes even from themselves.
'They are so ashamed of loneliness' and believe the experience makes them 'a failure' or 'a loser', Lim said.
Bradley said that 'the fear of being judged' is also behind much of the loneliness experienced by the men in his wellness group.
Big data shows that while men and women typically experience similar levels of loneliness, they have different ways of coping, Lim said.
'Especially when you account for masculinity norms that are rife in our community, it's just less acceptable for men to be vulnerable,' she said.
'We're treating loneliness as a personal matter, when it's a systemic issue as well.'
The idea that loneliness is permanent personality trait comes from outdates research from the 80s and 90s, she said.
Isolated in the grind
The report into loneliness cites the cost of living, and the increasing time demands of necessary employment, as real barriers to meaningful connection.
'All of these things add up, and it changes the way we interact with people,' Lim said.
Not having enough time to meet like-minded people, or do the inner work necessary to understanding their authentic social needs, are common issues faced by the Connection Hub members, Bradley said.
'They're so busy at work, trying to get the next promotion at work, or they're really into their training, everyone's got their things ... it's almost like their inner world takes a step back, and there's no time to work on themselves or even process what might be going on for them,' he said.
'I'll do breathwork with the guys to help them get out of their mind and into their bodies, and that's when they often start to feel a little bit more space around them, and a little bit more comfortable,' he said.
Now that we exist in the digital age, Lim said it is also important that we don't lose our 'social hygiene'.
'It's needed to build intimate relationships,' she said.
'You do need to respond when someone reaches out to you. If you don't, and you delay it for a certain time, it actually pulls people apart. Reciprocity if very important for social hygiene. It's easily to not have these principles with tech.'
Calls for a national strategy
Loneliness is a problem all over the world, with one in seven people feeling lonely globally — but the Australian national average is much higher than that, and it is prompting calls for a targeted national strategy.
'It needs to be a cross-sector approach,' Lim said.
'This is not just a health issue, or a social issues, or an economic issue — it's everything.
'What we know is that many societal problems are actually cross-sector issues, but what we're not very good at is working across sectors.
'So it also needs to be very much underpinned by the evidence, because this is an issue rife with misconceptions.'
She urged leaders not to trivialise loneliness, noting that major problems such as mental health and poverty are usually always either preceded by, or a consequence of, loneliness.
'It is very much both a root cause, and a consequence, problem,' she said.
'The community is very much ready to act ... but, we really need to all get co-ordinated.'
If you need help in a crisis, call Lifeline on 13 11 14.