Latest news with #EndingLonelinessTogether
Sydney Morning Herald
20 hours ago
- Health
- Sydney Morning Herald
In an era of wellbeing obsessions, I've become deeply sober un-curious
Is the purpose of life to survive the longest or enjoy it the most? Right now, society has become so obsessed with optimal health that I fear it's making us unwell or, at the very least, entirely joyless. And personally, I'd prefer to experience rich, brilliant years as opposed to regimented virtuous ones. A decade ago, the gold standard of a Sunday morning used to be a luxurious sleep in after too many drinks the night before, followed by a hearty breakfast with friends. Then maybe a movie, reading a book, pottering in the garden, or a boozy long lunch. And, sure, maybe some exercise. These days, we're told to rise before the sun, journal, take an ice bath, fast until after lunch, and avoid having a glass of wine with dinner. Some people are even abstaining from sex – all with the goal of improving their health and living longer. Honestly, you couldn't pay me to live 80-plus years of that. Many of these new 'healthy hacks' are self-flagellation in disguise; a weird and mysterious test of discipline in the hope of getting an extra couple of years out of life. But it's worth questioning if perhaps something less admirable than healthy choices could be lurking below the surface, something US psychologist Jonathan Haidt raised in an interview with actor Dax Shepard on Shepard's podcast, Armchair Expert. When Shepard said that the so-called 'anxious generation' is struggling with poor mental health but 'thriving in other departments', Haidt took issue. 'On a lot of the self-destructive metrics, their behaviour is better – that's all true,' he said. 'Does that mean they're thriving? Why are they not drinking? Why are they not driving cars? Why are they not dating? Why are they not getting pregnant? Why do you think it is? Because they're so wise? No. Because they're not with other people. They're not doing anything. If you're just on your bed all day long, scrolling through social media, then you're not going to be doing any of those things.' A 2023 report by Ending Loneliness Together found that 41.1 per cent of Australians aged 18 to 24 suffer from persistent loneliness. And according to the ABC's 2019 Australia Talks survey, 40 per cent of people aged 18 to 24 are still virgins. They're also drinking less, with 16 per cent of Australians in the same age bracket having never tried alcohol, up from 7 per cent in 2001. As Haidt points out, they're not just abstaining from these things because they're sensible, they're also petrified of humiliation. Having grown up with their entire lives being documented, they don't want to embarrass themselves.
The Age
20 hours ago
- Health
- The Age
In an era of wellbeing obsessions, I've become deeply sober un-curious
Is the purpose of life to survive the longest or enjoy it the most? Right now, society has become so obsessed with optimal health that I fear it's making us unwell or, at the very least, entirely joyless. And personally, I'd prefer to experience rich, brilliant years as opposed to regimented virtuous ones. A decade ago, the gold standard of a Sunday morning used to be a luxurious sleep in after too many drinks the night before, followed by a hearty breakfast with friends. Then maybe a movie, reading a book, pottering in the garden, or a boozy long lunch. And, sure, maybe some exercise. These days, we're told to rise before the sun, journal, take an ice bath, fast until after lunch, and avoid having a glass of wine with dinner. Some people are even abstaining from sex – all with the goal of improving their health and living longer. Honestly, you couldn't pay me to live 80-plus years of that. Many of these new 'healthy hacks' are self-flagellation in disguise; a weird and mysterious test of discipline in the hope of getting an extra couple of years out of life. But it's worth questioning if perhaps something less admirable than healthy choices could be lurking below the surface, something US psychologist Jonathan Haidt raised in an interview with actor Dax Shepard on Shepard's podcast, Armchair Expert. When Shepard said that the so-called 'anxious generation' is struggling with poor mental health but 'thriving in other departments', Haidt took issue. 'On a lot of the self-destructive metrics, their behaviour is better – that's all true,' he said. 'Does that mean they're thriving? Why are they not drinking? Why are they not driving cars? Why are they not dating? Why are they not getting pregnant? Why do you think it is? Because they're so wise? No. Because they're not with other people. They're not doing anything. If you're just on your bed all day long, scrolling through social media, then you're not going to be doing any of those things.' A 2023 report by Ending Loneliness Together found that 41.1 per cent of Australians aged 18 to 24 suffer from persistent loneliness. And according to the ABC's 2019 Australia Talks survey, 40 per cent of people aged 18 to 24 are still virgins. They're also drinking less, with 16 per cent of Australians in the same age bracket having never tried alcohol, up from 7 per cent in 2001. As Haidt points out, they're not just abstaining from these things because they're sensible, they're also petrified of humiliation. Having grown up with their entire lives being documented, they don't want to embarrass themselves.
ABC News
4 days ago
- General
- ABC News
Social clubs helping young Canberrans form friendships in the transient city
When masters student Kinneret Pezarkar moved to Canberra from a city more than 40 times its size, she faced an overwhelming problem she never expected. The 24-year-old, in the prime of her life, remembers sitting on a couch in her room on weekends wondering what everyone else was doing with their time. She said finding friends was a daunting challenge in the first few months. "It can feel a little bit embarrassing at the start, like, 'Oh, do you want to hang out with me?' "Sometimes there would be days where I didn't have anything planned for the weekend." And moving to a place where many other young adults have also moved too did not guarantee making friends would be easy. Despite being surrounded by other students who had left their support networks behind, Ms Pezarkar believes making friends is challenging in Canberra. In Australia, almost one in three people experience moderate levels of loneliness, according to a 2023 report by Ending Loneliness Together. ACT residents report the highest rate, equating to 40 per cent of residents. Ms Pezarkar noticed people came and went from Canberra. "I usually go in expecting to be the best of friends with everybody, and I think it's a high expectation to set," Ms Pezarkar said. "It can feel kind of temporary, so either you give too much or you give too [little]. "They might leave, so why do I waste so much time?" But after several months calculating time zone differences to keep phoning friends in Mumbai, and being gently encouraged to overcome anxiety barriers, Ms Pezarkar decided to step out and try again, to meet new people. "You realise that you need to break out of whatever shell you're in — these labels of introvert, extravert," she said. She asked people in her class if they wanted to start a book club — and they did. She now has a group of friends who have all also moved to Canberra from Asian countries. Ms Pezarkar is not alone in her experience of loneliness. What has been labelled the "loneliness epidemic" has led many craving friendship to form new social groups around the country. The Canberra Girls Club was started in 2025 by women who were craving a way to find new friends. The group, which hosts free exercise sessions and group walks, quickly grew in popularity on social media. Ishu Kamboj, who joined the group in June, acknowledges friendships take time. In the five years she's lived in the capital, she is yet to find a circle of close friends — something she attributes towards the city's transient population of workers who leave after several years. "I've seen this trend of people moving away from Canberra, they move out of Canberra very quickly," Ms Kamboj said. "I made friends and they moved away. "I was like, 'What do I do?' I'm just with my loneliness sitting in my house, what do I do?" The girls' group grew from 20 people to an average of 80 attendees within its first three meet-ups — many in the same boat as Ms Kamboj. Canberra-based counsellor Jon Nielsen said many of his clients regularly experienced loneliness, even if they didn't realise it. "They don't always describe it as loneliness, sometimes it will just be a sense that something is not quite right, I'm not feeling good, I'm at a loose end," Mr Nielsen said. "It can lead people into depression … and it can be quite debilitating." Mr Nielsen said the usual pathways of making friends sometimes do not work when people move to a different city. Mr Nielsen said people may move with a partner and find themselves without an outlet for socialisation outside of their relationship. Though many people experience moderate loneliness, some experience what experts call "persistent loneliness" — where their social connection needs are not met for an extended period of time. In young people, the experience is prevalent in two in five people — above the national average of one in four, according to Ending Loneliness Together. The chair of Ending Loneliness Together, Michelle Lim, said there was a negative stigma around the topic of loneliness that prevented people reaching out for help. "The way we live and the way we function in a society and in this culture means we are not actually verbalising a need to get help or support early on," she said. She considers loneliness a key public health issue. "We need to more generally ask for help in a way that is respectful and meaningful," Dr Lim said. "We really need to start putting loneliness on the agenda."
