‘Jurassic World Rebirth' pits ScarJo against T-Rex in a frustrating franchise entry
Koepp has been quite busy as of late, doing double duty for Steven Soderbergh with last year's ghost story, '
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The Quetzalcoatlus in 'Jurassic World Rebirth."
Universal Pictures and Amblin Entertainment
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It's been 32 years since dinosaurs have made their comeback, an opening screen reveals. But now they only exist somewhere at the Equator. People became bored once the creatures were commonplace, causing not only theme park bankruptcies but also the reemergence of dinosaur extinction.
In an attempt to juice up interest, a group of scientists tried to reboot dinos by creating a slew of new species. This goes horribly awry, forcing a worldwide ban on visiting the island that currently holds these mutations. In the film's tense opening sequence, an errant Snickers wrapper causes an unlikable scientist working on this project to get devoured. Product placement just isn't what it used to be, though one could argue that this sequence was akin to the candy bar's 'you're not you when you're hungry' ads.
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Scarlett Johansson as skilled covert operations expert Zora Bennett.
Jasin Boland/Universal Pictures and Amblin Entertainment
Enter another brand that begins with S, ScarJo. She plays Zora, a mercenary whose latest assignment is to go to the aforementioned off-limits island for a secret mission. A Big Pharma bro named Martin Krebs (Rupert Friend) is willing to pay big bucks for the job, so Zora enlists her most trusted colleague, Duncan Kincaid
(Ali), to accompany her.
Also on hand is nerdy paleontologist, Dr. Loomis, played by actor du jour, Jonathan Bailey ('
Speaking of the Master of Suspense,' 'Jurassic World Rebirth' introduces a MacGuffin so preposterous that even Hitch would find it implausible—and he coined the phrase that describes the ultimately useless thing everyone in the plot is concerned with in a movie. This time it's a heart disease drug that can save millions of people's lives. Krebs wants to be the first to manufacture it, so his company can corner the market.
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That idea doesn't sound far-fetched until you get to the part where the drug ingredients include DNA samples from live dinosaurs, one each from the classes of earth, sea, and air dwellers. The collection device is actually quite clever, and Edwards and Koepp craft more than one effective action sequence involving its use.
From left, Xavier Dobbs (David Iacono), Reuben Delgado (Manuel Garcia-Rulfo), Zora Bennett (Scarlett Johansson), Duncan Kincaid (Mahershala Ali) and Dr. Henry Loomis (Jonathan Bailey) in 'Jurassic World Rebirth."
Jasin Boland/Universal Pictures and Amblin Entertainment
Had 'Jurassic Park Rebirth' stayed solely with this team and their impossible mission, it might have worked as a summer action movie. But Koepp introduces a family of stranded boat passengers who are so one-dimensional and obnoxious that the film stops dead whenever they're onscreen.
I'm willing to believe that ScarJo and company would risk their lives on the Equator, because they're greedy and it's their job. I do not, for one second, buy that Reuben (Manuel Garcia-Rulfo) would drag his college-age and grammar school-age daughters (Luna Blaise and Audrina Miranda) across the Atlantic in a boat barely bigger than the Orca from 'Jaws.' Nor do I buy that Reuben would do so with his eldest daughter's companion (David Iacono) on board, as he's best described by a word that rhymes with 'buckfoi.'
Kincaid saves these characters from their vessel after it's been decimated by an ocean-dwelling dinosaur, saddling us with them for the rest of the movie. Weren't they aware that the area they were sailing in was declared forbidden by every country in the world?
Every character in this film is paper-thin, but Koepp gets more mileage from the camaraderie between Zora and Kincaid than Reuben and his kids. We get the obligatory scene where the two mercenaries catch up with one sentence descriptions of their prior individual traumas. Ali does a more convincing job as a hired gun than Johansson, but they're both upstaged by Bailey, who brings a refreshing take on the science geek.
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Jonathan Bailey as paleontologist Dr. Henry Loomis in 'Jurassic World Rebirth."
Jasin Boland/Universal Pictures and Amblin Entertainment
Bailey's expressions of wonder as he discovers his newfound bravery on this mission are delightful. The film's best scene occurs when he touches a new dinosaur for the first time. Alexandre Desplat's impressive score, which incorporates John Williams's familiar motifs, swells underneath the moment. Believe it or not,
Even more surprising, the plot ultimately boils down to a battle between capitalism and socialism. You'll never guess which side wins.
The true stars of 'Jurassic World Rebirth,' the dinosaurs, are often left unidentified; we're not sure if they're real or some genetically engineered, made-up monstrosity. The film is so disinterested that it simply throws them onscreen with occasional bits of human beings stuck between their teeth. Rather than chew on disposable characters, those dinosaurs should have eaten their agents instead.
★★
JURASSIC WORLD REBIRTH
Directed by Gareth Edwards. Written by David Koepp. Starring Scarlett Johansson, Jonathan Bailey, Mahershala Ali, Rupert Friend, Manuel Garcia-Rulfo, Luna Blaise, Audrina Miranda, David Iacono. At AMC Boston Common, Landmark Kendall Square, Alamo Drafthouse Seaport, AMC Causeway, suburbs. 134 min. PG-13 (dinosaurs are messy eaters)
Odie Henderson is the Boston Globe's film critic.
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