Why does summer bring out all the smug couples?
I love everything about summer, even the school run. Getting my daughter dressed and out of the house feels easier in the sunshine, and the walk past the duck pond to her primary school is positively bucolic. However, this summer — the first since the break-up of my marriage — the school run comes with a cost. I'm spotting smug couples everywhere.
Morning sunshine seems to be a magnet for WFH couples to walk to school en famille then do something smug-coupley before starting their working day. The other morning I noticed one couple holding hands like maniacs as they dropped their child at the gates. Another couple breezed off for a walk around the woods, chatting away, while a few minutes later, I spotted yet another couple grabbing a morning latte at the local posh café-hotel. 'Go away,' I thought to myself, like the summer Grinch, as I marched home on my own.
• Read more expert advice on sex, relationships, dating and love
My grudge isn't just confined to the school run. Suddenly smug marrieds are everywhere. It hits me without warning when a friend complains about her husband's 'irks': 'Oh he's in Waitrose again, he's cooking a roast for dinner. I keep telling him it's not roast weather now, but he insists.' Or when another friend drops into conversation that it's been their wedding anniversary. 'Super low-key, we didn't want to make a big fuss for 16 years, so we just went out for steak and chips.'
Coupley things that have never irked me before now feel like someone is prodding me with a needle when I least expect it. I feel pangs of uncontrollable envy, and annoyance at my situation. Here I am, aged 47, living solo without my kids for half the week. The things that my friends consider normal, and I once did too, now seem far away and fantastical. I'd love someone else in my house to be doing the shopping, especially fronting a trip to the supermarket (I can no longer afford Waitrose). I'd love to be going out for a 'low-key' meal for two to celebrate my anniversary (steak and chips is my favourite).
This week was my 20th wedding anniversary. In another lifetime we would have thrown a big party or have organised a holiday around it, but in reality, I've barely mentioned it.
Twenty years! It's a biggie for sure and since we're not yet divorced, I feel it still counts. I also felt it was important to celebrate: it's a wonderful achievement to have three children and to have come this far. Mostly the marriage was happy, it's just the last — ooh — five years that have been a little rocky.
Now we're living apart and emotions are still raw, however, it's been a tricky subject to navigate with myself let alone with my ex. But we did do something on the day. In the end, he made me lunch (burgers) at his new home and we rewatched the video from our Ibiza wedding from June 23, 2005, which I had finally had digitised from the DVDs. It had dated! It was beautiful! It brought on some tears, at how young and happy — and yes, smug — we once were too.
• No, we single women are not desperate for a partner
My ex and I got together when I was 23, so I've existed my entire adult life as a couple, doing all the things that couples in love do. We've held hands like maniacs, grabbed morning coffee together, gone off on walks and weekends away, hosted dinner parties that showcase all the things that I now regard as 'smug' when other couples get up to them.
The things that irk me now are the things I used to do quite naturally. I used to be the woman joking about my husband's niche trips to the supermarket or nonchalantly talking about my anniversary plans. I wonder how many people I accidentally annoyed by my smug coupledom in the process …@mollyjanegunn
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4 hours ago
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Why does summer bring out all the smug couples?
I love everything about summer, even the school run. Getting my daughter dressed and out of the house feels easier in the sunshine, and the walk past the duck pond to her primary school is positively bucolic. However, this summer — the first since the break-up of my marriage — the school run comes with a cost. I'm spotting smug couples everywhere. Morning sunshine seems to be a magnet for WFH couples to walk to school en famille then do something smug-coupley before starting their working day. The other morning I noticed one couple holding hands like maniacs as they dropped their child at the gates. Another couple breezed off for a walk around the woods, chatting away, while a few minutes later, I spotted yet another couple grabbing a morning latte at the local posh café-hotel. 'Go away,' I thought to myself, like the summer Grinch, as I marched home on my own. • Read more expert advice on sex, relationships, dating and love My grudge isn't just confined to the school run. Suddenly smug marrieds are everywhere. It hits me without warning when a friend complains about her husband's 'irks': 'Oh he's in Waitrose again, he's cooking a roast for dinner. I keep telling him it's not roast weather now, but he insists.' Or when another friend drops into conversation that it's been their wedding anniversary. 'Super low-key, we didn't want to make a big fuss for 16 years, so we just went out for steak and chips.' Coupley things that have never irked me before now feel like someone is prodding me with a needle when I least expect it. I feel pangs of uncontrollable envy, and annoyance at my situation. Here I am, aged 47, living solo without my kids for half the week. The things that my friends consider normal, and I once did too, now seem far away and fantastical. I'd love someone else in my house to be doing the shopping, especially fronting a trip to the supermarket (I can no longer afford Waitrose). I'd love to be going out for a 'low-key' meal for two to celebrate my anniversary (steak and chips is my favourite). This week was my 20th wedding anniversary. In another lifetime we would have thrown a big party or have organised a holiday around it, but in reality, I've barely mentioned it. Twenty years! It's a biggie for sure and since we're not yet divorced, I feel it still counts. I also felt it was important to celebrate: it's a wonderful achievement to have three children and to have come this far. Mostly the marriage was happy, it's just the last — ooh — five years that have been a little rocky. Now we're living apart and emotions are still raw, however, it's been a tricky subject to navigate with myself let alone with my ex. But we did do something on the day. In the end, he made me lunch (burgers) at his new home and we rewatched the video from our Ibiza wedding from June 23, 2005, which I had finally had digitised from the DVDs. It had dated! It was beautiful! It brought on some tears, at how young and happy — and yes, smug — we once were too. • No, we single women are not desperate for a partner My ex and I got together when I was 23, so I've existed my entire adult life as a couple, doing all the things that couples in love do. We've held hands like maniacs, grabbed morning coffee together, gone off on walks and weekends away, hosted dinner parties that showcase all the things that I now regard as 'smug' when other couples get up to them. The things that irk me now are the things I used to do quite naturally. I used to be the woman joking about my husband's niche trips to the supermarket or nonchalantly talking about my anniversary plans. I wonder how many people I accidentally annoyed by my smug coupledom in the process …@mollyjanegunn
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