DEAR ABBY: Errant voicemail reveals a troubled relationship
I haven't addressed it with him yet because I am shocked at my sister-in-law's behaviour during this conversation, and the way she treats my brother. I have known for a while that she blames others for situations she should share the blame in, but I had never heard her in a private conversation until this voicemail.
My brother must know those two minutes live on my phone, although we haven't spoken about it. I want to talk with him and tell him that I heard what she said. I'd like him to know I hope she treats him with respect, and that she sounds ungrateful for all the hard work he puts in at his job in their one-income household with two children. How should I handle this? — OVERHEARD IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR OVERHEARD: Talk to your brother and express that the fight between him and his wife was partially recorded on your phone. Then tell him you don't mean to pry, but think he and his wife could benefit from marital counselling if they are both willing. (I hope he will listen and have some sessions, even if his wife refuses.)
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I are retired. He sits in his recliner chair all day, every day. He says he is 'studying his Bible' or watching YouTube videos. He also sleeps 12 to 14 hours after he goes to bed around 8 p.m. most nights. This has been going on for at least a year, and I am SICK of it. I want a companion to do things with.
Nothing I have done or said motivates him to get up and move. Since I am not willing to accept this lifestyle for myself, I take classes at the Y three to five times a week, go to lunch with friends, read and attend our neighbourhood book club, paint and do crafts, and talk with or email friends. Most nights, I watch TV upstairs by myself. I may as well be single! Any suggestions? — UNCOUPLED IN SOUTH CAROLINA
DEAR UNCOUPLED: Get that husband of yours to his doctor for a thorough physical and neurological examination. People of every age need SOME form of exercise. When people who weren't sedentary spend all day, every day sitting, it is dangerous to their health. Your husband could suffer from any number of ailments, including depression. Making sure he has been checked out could be life changing not only for him but also for you.
DEAR ABBY: When the hostess offers you leftovers after a nice meal, how much should you take? — WONDERING IN THE SOUTH
DEAR WONDERING: Don't be greedy. Leave enough food for other guests to take some home if they wish, and don't forget to do the same for your hostess.
— Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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