Stanford psychologist: Make this counterintuitive mindset change to live a smarter, happier life—and more key takeaways from 'Hope for Cynics'

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9 hours ago

Jamil Zaki's public persona was people pleasing and positive, as befitted a Stanford psychology professor and researcher of social connection, empathy, and trust. But in the pages of his latest book, he admits that, in private, he often felt cynical.
His friend and colleague, the neuroscientist Emile Bruneau, by contrast, remained hopeful even as he was dying from an aggressive form of brain cancer.
In "Hope for Cynics," Zaki tried to understand "why so many people feel the way I used to," he writes, "and how anyone can learn to think more like Emile."
CNBC Make It put "Hope for Cynics" on our first book club shortlist because we expected people could relate — and the community voted to make it our inaugural pick. For those who didn't have a chance to read, or anyone who wants a quick recap before Wednesday's discussion in our private LinkedIn group, here are 5 key takeaways:
Cynicism, Zaki explains, "is the theory that people are selfish, greedy, and dishonest." It influences how people think and behave, and it's linked to worse outcomes, research indicates. "Cynics suffer more depression, drink more heavily, earn less money, and even die younger," he writes.
Though American society often promotes the idea that cynics are smarter, they actually "do less well at cognitive tests and have a harder time spotting liars," he notes. This mindset tends to keep people from believing things could be better — and from taking action to make them so.
"Thoughts change the world, and cynicism is turning ours into a meaner, sadder, sicker place," Zaki writes. Most people would, research indicates, prefer compassion and connection.
Cynicism "plays an underappreciated role" in America's problem with loneliness, Zaki says, which "intensifies depression, disrupts sleep, quickens cellular aging, and makes it harder to bounce back from stress."
People often underestimate how much they'll enjoy interactions and how kind, trustworthy, receptive, and open-minded others will be. When they do take leaps of faith, though, those tend to pay off. Trust can lead to cooperation over competition and, over time, form healthier communities and workplace cultures, he says.
"Many actions become self-fulfilling prophecies," Zaki writes. "People become who we expect them to be."
The opposite of a cynic is a Pollyanna. "They disregard suspicious signs, forget betrayals, and hold on to any evidence of human goodness," writes Zaki.
He doesn't advocate for that approach. Instead, he suggests readers strive to become what he calls "hopeful skeptics," or curious people who approach the world with a positive default, as Emile did. They ask questions, seek out information and evidence, and update their beliefs as needed.
The book "describes the many ways cynicism traps us," Zaki writes, and "how we can escape its grip."
He offers several practical steps readers can take, backed by behavioral science research, to work toward hopeful skepticism. For example:
Zaki's own effort "hasn't turned me hopeful overnight," he says. The process takes time. "But new habits of mind and action are taking root."
Zaki sets out to bust the myth that "optimists 'hopewash' problems while cynics shed light on them." Too often, he writes, cynics simply give up on the possibility of change.
"It actually hope — the sense that things could improve in the future — mixed with fury, that inspires people to fight for progress," Zaki says.
Throughout the book, he shares stories of individuals who stepped up, found partners in activism, and succeeded — whether they were fighting climate change or gerrymandering. As one activist, Wanjiku Gatheru, founder of Black Girl Environmentalist, put it: "Hope is something that you earn. We got our hope because of the hard work we put in every single day. Don't borrow our hope. Hope with us."