No will, no plan, no problem? — 'My dad's "leave it to fate" mindset could leave my mom in crisis'

Independent Singapore

11 hours ago

SINGAPORE: When an aging parent needs major surgery, the last thing you want to argue about is estate planning. However, that's exactly what one daughter in Singapore experienced, and it's a situation many people face.
In a candid Reddit post, she voiced out her fears about her father not wanting to draft a will. Notwithstanding his forthcoming operation and his substantial possessions, he asserted that he would 'leave everything to the laws of Singapore' rather than consulting a lawyer.
He believed it was pointless to spend money on legal services, thinking that the intestacy rules would handle everything impartially.
For his daughter, this attitude seemed troubling. Her father not only faced a medical procedure delayed by the public health system (despite her offer to pay for private care), but she was also increasingly concerned about the administrative and emotional burden that could fall on her mother—and herself—if her father passed away without a will. Why dying without a will isn't simple
In Singapore, if someone dies without a will, their estate is distributed by the Intestate Succession Act. For a family with a spouse and two children, this usually means: 1) 50% of the estate goes to the surviving spouse, 2) 25% to each child. See also Zoe Tay spends time with 3 sons in midst of Covid-19 pandemic
While this might seem straightforward, Reddit users quickly pointed out that the reality is much more complicated.
'All accounts, joint or not, will have to be closed,' one commenter explained. 'Cash inside needs to be distributed to new accounts. It's not as simple as the surviving owner just keeping the funds.'
Another noted that probate, the legal process of handling estates, can take a lot of time and money, especially without a will. The Public Trustee's Office (PTO), which manages intestate estates, also charges a fee based on the estate's total value.
'That's how much it will cost your family if there's no will,' someone wrote. 'So if he's worried about lawyer fees, he should be more worried about that.' A matter of control and care
For the original poster, the issue isn't just legal or financial. It's emotional. She wants to protect her mother from the bureaucratic mess that can come with being locked out of joint accounts, unsure of property rights, or waiting months for court approvals, especially during such a difficult time.
Her father, however, seems to have a more fatalistic outlook, which some commenters suggested might come from a fear of conflict or decision-making.
'Maybe he just doesn't want the hassle of family being unhappy with how the estate is divided,' one commenter suggested. 'You could tell him he can draft a will to reflect exactly what intestacy laws dictate—if that's what he really wants.'
Others highlighted that even in close, unified families, not having a will can lead to unnecessary delays, stress, and costs. A will isn't just about distributing assets; it's about making things easier for those left behind.
'Remind him that the will is to help the surviving members,' another user advised. What can be done?
Although the daughter hasn't succeeded in convincing her father yet, she is not alone. There are others confronted with the same challenges. Here are a few strategies that surfaced in the conversation: Speak to practicalities, not just emotions – If your parent is watchful about money, clarify the cost and consequences of not having a drafted will, particularly the fraction that PTO might take from their estate.
Use familiar examples – Narrate stories of other people who went through validation and were met with delays accessing funds or resolving property-related problems.
Provide a clear, straightforward solution – An uncomplicated will can be simple and inexpensive. If the planned distribution ties with Singapore's intestacy regulations, inform them, and be sure to put it in writing to avert hitches.
Highlight the gift to the living – Set the will as an ultimate act of love for the surviving partner or children. It's not about the demise or bereavement; it's about easing out anxiety and confusion during a painful period. The bottom line
As Singapore's population ages rapidly, more households will find themselves in identical circumstances, harmonising respect for a parent's wish with the necessity of safeguarding the future. A will might appear a sensitive or morbid topic to discuss or a redundant cost, but as this daughter's experience demonstrates, it's an act of compassion.
Sometimes, the most loving thing people can do is plan for what's bound to happen, so that those who are left behind won't have a difficult time figuring it out alone.