Row Z: Neymar makes friends for life, Adkins turns to Abraham Lincoln and Duran's dreams

New York Times

31-01-2025

Welcome to Row Z, our weekly column on The Athletic shining a light on the bonkers side of the game.
From clubs to managers, players to organisations, every Friday we'll bring you the absurdities, the greed, the contradictions, the preposterousness and the oddities of the game we all love…
'I've been wishing for this moment to come true for a long time,' Neymar said as he rejoined former club Santos in Brazil this week.
He can't have been wishing too hard. For the last 18 months, while the Brazilian has been dreaming of a return to his homeland, he's been busy becoming surely the most expensive transfer flop in the history of football.
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It's not Neymar's fault that Saudi Arabia/Al Hilal chose to pay him unfathomable amounts of money, but sheesh, the numbers are quite something.
Al Hilal paid Paris Saint-Germain around £78million ($96.9m) to buy Neymar and paid him a reported annual salary of £83m, plus the mansion and fleet of cars that were thrown in with the deal.
During those 18 months, Neymar failed to score a single domestic goal, with his solitary strike from seven appearances coming in the AFC Champions League.
'To everyone at Al Hilal, to the fans, thank you,' he said with a straight face on social media, with comments on the post restricted. 'I gave everything to play and I wish we enjoyed better times on the pitch together. I now know the real Saudi and have friends for life.'
Well yes, 161m friends.
Emerson Royal replied with three fire emojis, Patrice Evra added a heart, Puma posted three blue hearts. It was emotional stuff.
Neymar then added in a video farewell: 'Unfortunately it didn't come as I imagined, I wish I had played many more games and scored a lot of goals and made the fans happy, but it's god willing.'
If in doubt, blame religion.
Still, the Saudis know what they're doing when it comes to value for money. Al Nassr are set to pay £64m for Aston Villa's backup striker as they look to sign dedicated team player Jhon Duran.
It's a dream move for Duran to pull on the yellow and blue of Al Nassr.
Just like it was going to be a dream move if he signed for West Ham United in the summer (remember him posting the West Ham 'hammers' symbol on Instagram?), or a move to Bayern Munich would have been ideal, too (he called them 'the club of my dreams' after scoring against them in the Champions League).
To be fair, for a player who comes across as a little egotistical and temperamental, he'll fit right in alongside Cristiano Ronaldo up front.
What were your highlights of Steven Gerrard's Al Ettifaq reign?
How about the big 3-0 win at Damac a few weeks ago? Or maybe the dramatic last minute equaliser in a 1-1 draw at Al Taawoun in September? Great days.
Gerrard leaves the club in 12th place in an 18-team league, five points above the relegation zone. He also left his previous club, Aston Villa, just above the relegation zone in October 2022.
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'Football is unpredictable and sometimes things don't go the way we want,' Gerrard said this week. Well, it's kind of unpredictable, although there is a bit of predictably growing about what Gerrard does with football teams.
Anyway, rest assured he'll be given a chance at a decent Premier League club before 2025 is out.
Until then? There's a seat on The Overlap with Gerrard's name written all over it.
Tranmere Rovers host Colchester United in League Two this weekend desperately needing a win to drag themselves clear of the drop zone.
Rovers are 22nd and struggling. Manager Nigel Adkins knows it's a big game and this week talked up the importance of the club being united and singing from the same hymn sheet.
What kind of managerial cliches did he use during his pre-match media duties? 'We've got to stick together'? 'We need to roll our sleeves up and fight for three points'?
Not exactly.
'Great phrase,' he started. 'Obviously the American president has just come in… new American president, we haven't got a clue what's going to go on in the world.
'A house divided against itself cannot stand. It's a famous quote by who? Five, four, three, two, one. There was your thought process; 16th of June 1858, Abraham Lincoln, famously gave a quote.
'It's a great little phrase. A house divided against itself cannot stand. Now we have to be together and everybody has got to bring the best of them, every waking moment of the day, for Tranmere Rovers Football Club.'
The interviewer was clearly fully engaged and ready for a deep philosophical discussion about famous 19th century quotations.
His follow-up question?
'Team news-wise, what are we looking at?'
"Quick! Put it out with these files from accounts!" https://t.co/atdIKR8ME7
— BDS 🇵🇸 (@JailTheEnglish) January 29, 2025
And finally this week, if you thought Michael Oliver made a controversial decision last weekend, he's got nothing on the referee for Watford Women v Lewes.
Here's a straight red card for not taking a corner.
????????????????? https://t.co/zP9HeAWbpo pic.twitter.com/QjNGkzX2s1
— Joe Felforit (@KhatruSiberiano) January 28, 2025
Here's a straight red for kicking the ball away after play hadn't been stopped for an injured player. And then a yellow for diving…
And this! pic.twitter.com/OGAO43DiV3
— Joe Felforit (@KhatruSiberiano) January 28, 2025
Both reds were given for dissent.
'I feel like the game was probably spoiled by some officiating decisions,' manager Renee Hector said in the understatement of the week.