Apurva Asrani on homophobic attack: It wasn't just about one man's hate

Time of India

4 hours ago

Apurva Asrani
recently put up an Instagram post in which he wrote about a distressing homophobic incident that happened at his
north Goa
residence. In the post, he mentioned how a drunk neighbour hurled slurs at him and his partner Neeraj (Kadamboor) over a parking dispute.
'He called Neeraj and me dirty homos, freaks, hijras – and stormed around the complex hurling slurs at us.
.. trying to shame us for being gay,' Apurva wrote on Instagram.
When the couple reported the incident to their housing association, the initial response was tepid. 'There were people who said, 'Oh, this shouldn't have happened,' but very quickly, the conversation moved on to pool timings,' the
Made in Heaven
editor told us. He further added, "If a woman said she was harassed it would have been a very different response.
Some neighbors said, 'Just settle it, man to man'. I realized people don't actually understand that we are not just two neighbors fighting. This is somebody who is taking on centuries of oppression, slur, and taking that as the backing and threaten us. I am a National Award-winning filmmaker, I have bought this house with my good, and hard-earned money.
I should not be feeling like this. If I am feeling like this, what will be happening to the younger kids who haven't got this kind of privilege.
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We want him evicted."
The couple demanded action — both from the housing association and from the landlord of the offender, who stays in the UK. 'The homeowner has just responded saying, that they have issued him a two week notice for eviction. But he's requesting for more time. Now, it came back to us – Should we show mercy? Or should we stand our ground? However, I stand for so many like us. The number of times I have been evicted from housing societies just because I'm gay.
It used to be horrible. I thought one day I'll buy my home, and it won't happen. I think today it's time for a homophobe to be evicted. So, I hope he actually does get out within two weeks,' he shared.
He added, "I've realized that more than being homophobic or apathetic, people are just ignorant. They don't understand the vulnerability. You're living almost living in sin with another man. All these things are used against you. If we want change, we can't just be victims sitting there saying, you've all wronged us. I was very upset. I felt very vulnerable till I took decisive action. The moment I began acting on this, I don't feel that sense of disappointment.
"