This dad canceled a ‘period party' to protect his daughter's privacy—and parents can't stop applauding him
AITAH for putting a stop to my 12yo daughter's 'period party'? byu/YocaLocaChoca inAITAH
'She told you specifically she DIDN'T want one of these,' the dad reminded his wife, blocking the doorway when she tried to retrieve their daughter from upstairs. 'She knows what's going on, she's getting a handle on it, she just doesn't want to talk about it with anyone else for right now.'
The mother, insisting the party would empower their daughter, responded, 'She needs to know not to be ashamed of her body.' But as the dad pointed out, their daughter wasn't ashamed—she was clear: she wanted privacy.
The post struck a chord, with many commenters sharing stories of similar boundary breaches. @Fonzee327 wrote, ' Got my period at 13 during a softball game in 8th grade…I found out later that she (mom) announced it to all of the parents, and I never told her anything I didn't want to be public knowledge ever again.'
So what happens when a celebration feels more like a violation?
Related: Single dad seeks advice about daughter's first period—and the internet came through
When a milestone becomes a spectacle
Period parties have gained attention in recent years as a way to normalize menstruation and celebrate a major milestone. Think red velvet cake, uterus-themed decorations, and group affirmations. Some kids genuinely love them. Others, like this Reddit user's daughter, feel overwhelmed or exposed.
As the brand Knix explains, these gatherings are meant to celebrate periods as a normal and positive part of life. But they also note that first periods can be 'an emotional, confusing, even scary experience.' The key is meeting kids where they are.
Celebration without consent isn't empowerment
In the age of Pinterest-perfect parenting and viral TikToks, even private milestones can become public moments. But when parents prioritize the performance of parenting over the child's actual experience, the result can feel deeply alienating.
According to the American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP), adolescence is a critical time for identity and boundary formation. When those boundaries are ignored—even with good intentions—children may internalize shame or struggle to trust their caregivers later on.
Supporting kids through puberty with care
The AAP recommends that conversations about puberty be ongoing, honest, and responsive to a child's comfort level. Here are a few ways parents can provide support:
Ask first: Instead of surprising your child with a celebration, ask if and how they'd like to mark the moment.
Normalize without spotlighting: Stock the bathroom with supplies, have casual conversations, and let them know you're available to talk.
Follow their lead: If they want to celebrate, great. If they want to keep it private, honor that.
Boundaries are not barriers to connection. They're the foundation for it.
For many millennial parents, their own puberty experiences were shrouded in secrecy, shame, or misinformation. Stories like this one offer a chance to do things differently—to respect autonomy, rebuild trust, and raise kids who feel safe in their bodies.
Because the most meaningful celebration might be the one where a child feels truly heard.
Related: Why I'm proudly teaching my sons about periods
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