I'm a grief expert, here's how Scots could get time off work when a pet dies

Scottish Sun

a day ago

PAWS FOR THOUGHT I'm a grief expert, here's how Scots could get time off work when a pet dies
DJ and fashion expert Gok Wan was absent from the airwaves earlier this week after he was left devastated following the death of his beloved dog Dolly.
The Magic Radio host took the day off to mourn the loss of the French Bulldog, who he'd had for more than 13 years.
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The telly star took a day off work to mourn his beloved pet
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Gok was devastated by the death of Dolly
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Lisa Hague is a grief coach
Taking to social media he wrote: 'I am utterly heartbroken and devastated that it's your time to go to the park in the stars.'
Fellow show hosts told listeners they were unsure if the star would return to the mic today.
And a grief expert says it's totally understandable that Gok would feel unfit to work due to the bereavement.
Now Lisa Hague, who coaches people after loss, reckons compassionate leave after the death of a pet should be written into law.
Lisa said: 'He's absolutely broken with grief - his pet was more than just an animal to him, it was part of his family.'
At the moment, there are set laws in Scotland for the loss of a child. But other bereavement leave is at the discretion of an employer.
And while some managers may be sympathetic over the death of a relative, there are many who may not be so supportive when it comes to a cat or dog.
But Lisa, who's married to ex Celtic star Kris Commons, says for many Scots, their pets are the closest thing they have to family.
She explained: 'The definition of grief is that your life is altered from the way that it normally is, it's a change to life as the way that you know it.
'When a child dies, a baby dies, grandad dies, people have sympathy towards that.
But if a pet dies, and if you're not super pet friendly, then it becomes 'oh it's just a dog', it's not taken seriously.
'But everyone's relationship to their pet is unique and, for some people, it's so much more than an animal, it's emotional support.
'I don't know if Gok's got a partner at the minute, but if it was him and his dog on his own that's a major part of his life.'
Lisa, who has helped people through grief since her daughter Lola was stillborn in 2008, said a pet can form a big part of someone's daily routine, which means their loss can leave them feeling totally bereft and alone.
She said: 'Getting up, walking the dog, feeding the dog, coming in from work, having that love and support there, walking the dog again before bed - it all forms part of a person's routine.
'So all of a sudden you're left with idle hands and a broken heart.'
Mum-of-three Lisa says the time you get off is a lottery, depending on how sympathetic your boss is. But, while she acknowledges the rules could be open to abuse, employee rights are always simpler if they're written into law.
She said: 'I do get that we have to ask, where do we draw the line? When does it go from dog to cat to hamster to fish, in terms of having? But dogs and cats are different, they do offer emotional support.
'And then there's how to police it - would you have to disclose if you have pets as soon as you start a job. Or if you then buy a pet, do you say in case something happens? Or do we just take our employees as being the loyal members of staff that we hope we've employed and trust them?
'I know a lady who's got a dog, who hasn't been able to have children and that dog is her world. If it died then that would be devastating for her.
'So in the end, I do think people should be allowed a day off, it should be written into practice and then owners can choose if they need that time.'
LAW CHANGE
IN most countries, bereavement leave for an animal is allowed at the discretion of an employer.
But in Colombia a bill was proposed by the country's Liberal Party to grant workers two days of paid leave to mourn the loss of a pet.
The legislation was brought in by politician Alejandro Carlos Chacon who said the rules would reflect how deep a bond someone can have with a pet, especially for those who don't have kids.
He also said the law would benefit employers as workers would be able to adequately deal with their grief without being distracted by work and be able to come back refreshed.
And if you are struggling after the loss of a pet, Lisa offered some advice for dealing with grief.
She says: 'Put in place some healthy distractions. And work on being able to talk to people who get it because there's nothing worse than somebody saying 'it's just a dog' or 'at least it wasn't a family member'.
'I had it a lot of 'at leasts' after Lola died, and she was a baby. So make sure you have a support network of people who understand.'