'I had to investigate my own abuse case because the police failed me'

BBC News

30-06-2025

Caroline struggles to lift a large, brown suitcase on to a table. Inside are hundreds of documents which prove her ex-partner psychologically and physically abused her."I spoon-fed the police," she explains with exasperation as she shows us print-outs of text messages and voicemails.But she says officers still failed to grasp the seriousness of his pattern of intimidatory and threatening behaviour, which even included dictating what she ate."They just didn't get it," she says. "I was treated like the bottom of the pile."Caroline's experience is not unusual.A BBC investigation has found that 10 years after coercive or controlling behaviour (CCB) became a crime, there is a wide disparity in how police forces in England and Wales recognise and understand the offence - with some logging rates that are three times higher per head of population.
Police responses can be so poor that victims say they have to become their own detectives. Lives are being lost, say leading political and legal figures who were responsible for the law change.In response to the BBC's findings, a senior government minister said she would "hold the police to the highest standards".
We have spoken to many survivors of CCB who have gathered years of evidence, including Caroline and a woman we are calling "Gemma".By the end of Caroline's relationship, her ex-partner Clive Thomas controlled every part of her life, from where she went, to what she wore."I would wake up and know I wouldn't be making any decisions that day," she says. "I didn't know it was coercive control, it was just a way of life."He would throw food on the floor, force her to pick it up and then stuff it into her mouth.He would point to a shop window and threaten to throw her through it.If he did not like her clothes, he would pour water over her or soak her with a hose.Caroline was terrified of what Thomas would do to her if she left him, so her only hope was that he would leave her instead.Unable to tell her friends or family, she confided in her phone. She wrote about what was happening under the heading "shopping", to disguise the contents from him when he searched her mobile.Caroline found ways to cover up the cuts, deep scratches and bruises he inflicted. She shows us a small, lasting scar on her face.
It was his actions on 6 December 2017 that she says marked a turning point for her. He threw her on to the floor, pulled out a large clump of her hair and spat in her face.The relationship ended a month later after another attack. She dialled 999 and Thomas was removed from her house.Caroline remained in fear of Thomas and after a year felt there was no option but to contact Greater Manchester Police. She never believed her fight for justice would take six painful years.Using the notes on her phone, she was able to hand over a 32-page chronology detailing every incident, as well as photos of injuries.But appointments were delayed or missed, evidence was misplaced and inaccuracies were introduced into her statements.Despite all of her evidence, she was told by the Crown Prosecution Service that no charges would be brought.She hired a lawyer costing £20,000 and appealed. Eventually, 10 charges were brought against Caroline's ex-partner – after it was found the police had not handed over key evidence."When you look at the abject failings that have been made by the police it beggars belief," said Caroline's lawyer, Rachel Horman-Brown KC (Hon). She has worked with male and female domestic abuse victims for decades."Too much of my job really is taken up advising victims who feel fobbed off by the police when they report coercive control," she said."There are too many women who have also lost their lives because of this."
BBC analysis of the latest official data (April 2023-March 2024) of recorded CCB offences found a huge difference between police force areas, with some forces logging coercive control crimes at much higher rates than others.Academics and domestic abuse charities acknowledge that while statistics-gathering may currently vary between forces - and should improve in future - they say the current disparity between police areas shows a lack of understanding of coercive control."Crime is crime and it should know no force boundaries," said Sir Robert Buckland, the former Attorney General who introduced the law into Parliament in 2015."It is unacceptable that victims are having to in effect be their own detectives in these often very serious cases involving very serious harm."Many miles away from Caroline is Gemma, whom we are not identifying.She created a spreadsheet detailing years of what she says was coercive controlling behaviour."He would put you down, you didn't feel worth anything," she says. "He would just flip into a rage at the smallest thing, punch walls around me and throw things at me."She told us she had submitted more than 100 pieces of evidence of psychological, sexual and physical abuse to the police. Among them are lists of witnesses, photos of injuries and text messages in which her ex-partner apologised for his behaviour.
Gemma feels the police did not take her case seriously from the beginning, telling her: "It's going to be really hard to prove this."After they mislaid evidence a number of times, she says, she carried her home computer and a pile of paperwork into the police station.In the years since Gemma first went to the police, she has had to retell her story to more than 20 different officers, she says.Her ex-partner has never been charged with an offence against her."I feel like the police have gaslit me. I have walked out of one relationship with an abuser and straight into another one," she says. "I would never have called the police if I had known it was going to be like this."Gemma has been advised to hire a lawyer to deal with her case, but she lost her business and became homeless after leaving her abuser. She often relies on food banks.As well as being diagnosed with PTSD, depression and anxiety, Gemma says she rarely leaves her house as she is terrified of bumping into her ex-partner. But she is adamant she will keep fighting.To help police identify the often hidden pattern of coercive control, an updated risk-assessment process has been rolled out since 2022.Forces have been encouraged by the College of Policing to deploy the Domestic Abuse Risk Assessment (Dara) at every domestic abuse call.However, Freedom of Information requests by the BBC have found that more than half (23) of the 43 police forces in England and Wales are still not using Dara. Gemma's force is one of them.Our research has also found a big variation in the number of staff who have completed the recommended Domestic Abuse Matters course, which educates officers about CCB.This all indicates that coercive control is not a priority for many police forces and "radical change" is needed to improve "horrendous attitudes", says Ms Horman-Brown.
The National Police Chiefs' Council (NPCC) said some staff will have undertaken alternative risk assessments or training other than the Domestic Abuse Matters course.In a statement, Jess Phillips, Minister for Safeguarding and Violence against Women and Girls, said: "Coercive or controlling behaviour has a devastating impact, and when victims bravely seek justice and report it to the police, they should not have to constantly relive their unimaginably difficult experiences or feel unprotected."I will hold the police to the highest standards and expect them to use every tool at their disposal to deliver for victims and put offenders away."Louisa Rolfe, the national police lead for domestic abuse with the NPCC, said in a statement: "We know there is much more to do, and I am saddened to hear of victims not receiving the best response."We want women and girls to feel safe and confident reporting any instances of abuse to police, and when they do come forward, we want to be able to take swift action to prevent any further harm."On 26 June, Caroline watched as her ex-partner Thomas was given an 18-month sentence, suspended for 20 months, after pleading guilty to one charge of coercive control and one charge of common assault.The court heard Caroline had suffered significant psychological harm. During sentencing, Judge Lester-Ashworth told Thomas: "Were it not for your age and previous good character, you would be going to prison today."A Greater Manchester Police spokesperson said of Caroline's case: "We recognise and regret the frustration caused by the prolonged process to bring the offender to justice."The victim's bravery and tenacity has helped ensure the man responsible has now been held accountable for his crimes."Leaving court, Caroline reflected on the end of her long journey."I have been battling with him, the police, so I'm feeling exhausted," she said."If I hadn't done anything, it would have been hanging over me for the rest of my life. I know I needed to do it for myself."
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