Woman Rejects Niece's Offer to Sew Her a Dress for a Work Event. Her Family Calls Her 'Superficial'
She explained why this particular moment wasn't the time for a DIY project
The backlash from her refusal sparked a much bigger family debate — and now her sister-in-law is accusing her of being superficialA woman is turning to the Reddit community for advice after her decision not to let her niece sew her a dress for an important career event sparked family tension.
'I love my niece, and I support her creative expression,' she writes in her post, emphasizing that she's more than happy to wear her niece's handmade items in casual settings. She adds, 'I've told her that she could make me a dress for running around the house, running errands, hanging out, etc.'
The aunt has even worn an acrylic scarf her niece crocheted for years, admitting, 'It's not because it looks good.' She appreciates the effort but is honest about the results, noting that her niece's skills are still developing.
Her niece, inspired by YouTube and TikTok tutorials, lacks some experience. 'She doesn't know how to work off patterns, make tailoring adjustments, choose the right fabric, etc.,' the woman explains.
She describes how her niece prefers to make garments from thrifted sheets or old shorts, sometimes skipping important finishing touches. 'But she doesn't take the time to do things like pressing or finishing seams, trimming or sewing in ends, etc. When I've suggested it to her, she said it's more authentic the way she does it,' the aunt shares.
When her niece begged to make her an outfit for an upcoming event in which she'd be on stage, the woman tried to let her down gently. 'I ... said that I had a dress being tailored as we speak,' she recalls, hoping to avoid hurting her niece's feelings.
Her niece pushed back, insisting that wearing something handmade "would be special and a bonding experience for us,' the woman writes.
The aunt adds that her family is 'obsessed with 'bonding experiences,' ' but admits she finds the constant pressure "exhausting,' she confides.
Standing her ground, she repeated her refusal. 'I reiterated my no, saying 'No, I do not want you to make me anything,' ' she states, making her boundaries clear.
Her decision sparked criticism from her sister-in-law, who accused her of caring too much about her appearance and image.
She explained that the event is related to her career and she wanted to present herself professionally, especially as a "plus-sized" woman who feels her appearance is judged more harshly. 'The last thing I need to do is walk up on stage in something that doesn't fit, or looks like it was made with a sheet,' she says.
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The aunt notes that her sister-in-law's complaints about her being superficial are not new. She recalls, 'I dared to buy ONE designer bag for myself and she did the whole thing you see on Reels, the whole 'STUPID! I would just thrift a bag and put the rest of my money IN the bag!' bit.'
She also remembers being criticized for wanting to choose her own wedding décor, with her sister-in-law suggesting she was more interested in the wedding than the marriage.
For the woman, her career is her top priority right now. "Obviously for my SIL, her child is the most important thing in the world to her,' she says.
Now, she turns to Reddit to ask if she's wrong for putting her career ahead of her niece's feelings.
"Don't give these people any information and they'll have nothing to harangue you about. And when they do, just say uh huh or okay cheerily and walk away. Learn how to facilitate both of your new terms and make them your skill set," offers one commenter.
Adds another, "I've been a professional seamstress. Those finishing steps are crucial. Niece does not snip her threads, does not press her seams flat, and probably does no altering after the garment is made, all of which are necessary to ensure a good fit and a clean look ... Tell niece if she wants to try making a gown you'd gladly model it for her TikTok, but that you don't want to put the weight of this event on your nieces shoulders. If she has never attempted a formal look before now is NOT the time for a first try."
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Most of us never realize everything our parents did to make our childhoods special. From holiday traditions to family vacations, kids often take these special, wholesome things for granted. However, once we grow up, gain perspective, and perhaps even become parents ourselves, we can appreciate just how magical our childhoods truly were, all thanks to our parents... That's why when Redditor u/MisterRocCity asked, "What was something your parents did for you as a child that you didn't fully appreciate until you became an adult?" adults were more than happy to share the heartwarming ways their parents made their childhoods special. From secret science labs to parental chauffeurs— here are 19 of their sweetest memories: If your parents did something special that made your childhood magical, feel free to tell us about it using this anonymous form! 1."Beginning around age seven, I had an insatiable desire to write. I would write pages and ramblings almost every day, whether it was full accounts of my day, idealized accounts of my day, stories set in fantasy worlds, or long, dialogue-only scenes. I always gave them to my mom, and she would read them all the way through." "It must have been excruciating at times, but she would always chat with me after and give me compliments and occasional notes. She always had time for things I created and was passionate about. She continued reading everything I wrote until she passed away in February. Today, I'm a professional writer and am forever grateful." —u/cbo410 2."My parents were adamant about not raising 'iPad kids' so we had very limited screen time. We could only use the family desktop if we wanted to play games. If we wanted to talk to friends, we had to use the landline. We could only watch TV a few hours a day after chores and school were finished." "We instead had lots of family time playing board games, building Legos, traveling the world, reading, doing outdoor activities, etc. I've only had a cellphone for five years, and I feel like I'm not as attached to it as others my age." —u/AKamDuckie 3."I had terrible menstrual cramps when I was in middle school. Every month I had to go to the school nurse, and she'd call my mom to come get me." "No matter what mom was doing that day, she dropped everything to pick me up, take me home, and heat up tomato soup with a splash of milk. I'd get ginger ale and crackers, and the rest of the family was on the strictest orders to leave me alone! It was heaven, except for the pain." —u/asap_pdq_wtf 4."My parents built a secret room in our house and filled it with lab supplies — rocks and minerals, a kaleidoscope, a magnifying glass, books, a microscope, a chemistry kit, and all other kinds of Tandy and Radio Shack stuff we got to discover on our own. Whenever we went into the room, there would always be something new." "Part of the fun was the secret room itself: You pushed on a section of wall in an upstairs bedroom, and it popped open to reveal a small room under the eaves. It was so small an adult had to crouch to get in. We called our secret room the 'Cubby.' We loved it and grew up to be curious explorers with the desire to seek truth and understand reality." —u/OlyVal 5."When I was sick, my parents would give me a little bell that I could ring if I needed something. Now I realize they were doing it so I didn't have to yell for them if I had a sore throat or felt too sick. I never had to wait more than a minute for them to help me." "I do this for my own kids now! I think it's so sweet and I hope my little ones remember it fondly one day." —u/LastTie3457 6."When I was in tenth grade, I had a difficult biology course. Both of my parents studied with me and made up songs for me to use as mnemonic devices." "Now that I'm a parent, I know there's no way I could put that much effort into even one of my kids' classes — especially after working all day! BTW, I did pass that class with flying colors and went on to take college biology in the summer because I felt super prepared and confident." —u/greytgreyatx 7."My parents worked hard to educate us outside of school hours: Taking trips to museums, teaching us to research things at the library, staying in historic hotels, going on nature hikes, camping trips, etc. My mom also ran two Girl Scout troops (one for me and one for my sister)." "If a movie claimed to be 'based on a true story' (like The Miracle Worker or Pocahontas), we had to get a nonfiction book and fact-check it after watching. If we had to have something done at the doctor, we got a child-friendly explanation of the science behind it, no matter how banal. Mom walked me through the basics of contact tracing when I caught the chicken pox. It turns out that while schools can teach you a lot of things, a passion for lifelong learning starts at home." —u/thefuzzybunny1 8."My parents pinched pennies on everything except for a big family vacation every summer. We had a 30+ year old kitchen, a small house, 20-year-old cars, shopped the sales, etc., so they could afford to take us traveling." "Sure, my friends had bigger or nicer houses, but they never went to Hawaii for four weeks or hiked mountains in Oregon like I did. My parents thought traveling was the most valuable thing for us growing up, and I really appreciate that they did that for us." —u/pidgeott0 9."My mom let me pick out my clothes, they were always within a reasonable budget and age-appropriate, but when we shopped for them, I got to pick what I wanted. I took it for granted that I should have that choice." "Mom later told me that her own mother had either made or controlled every single thing she wore until she turned 18. I got to have a 'horse girl' phase as a 9-year-old and my emo phase as a teenager, without a parent being unkind about it. I'm lucky that way." —u/thoughtsofstars 10."My parents (specifically my dad) didn't want me to have a job as a teenager, but all my friends were getting jobs and earning money, and I wanted to do the same." "My dad told me, 'If you need money, just ask us. We're financially stable, and you don't need to work. Please enjoy being a kid.' I said, 'I'm not a kid. I'm about to be 16.' (Spoiler alert: I was a kid.) Then, my dad responded, 'Once you get a job, you pay taxes and have responsibilities until the day you die. Enjoy your carefree days.' I was upset and didn't get a job until I was in college. Looking back, I can honestly say I had a fantastic and carefree childhood that I wouldn't trade for the world. Thanks, Pops!" —u/Strict-Artichoke-361 11."Starting in late elementary school, my mom let us decide if we were too sick to go to school. At the time, I hated it because on days when I'd wake up with a headache or a stuffy nose, I really just wanted her to give me the out and tell me I could stay home because I knew I was well enough to go in but didn't want to." "Instead, she'd ask, 'Are you too sick to go to school?' and let us make the call, knowing we'd feel too guilty staying home if it wasn't necessary. Now, I'm grateful she did this because not only did it teach us responsibility, but it also helped me learn to monitor my own body and its needs. I know many adults who can't tell the difference between 'I feel gross but can go about my day,' 'I need to modify somewhat,' or 'I need to go to bed now!'" —u/palacesofparagraphs 12."My parents took me to Disney when I was little. I'm nearly 50, single, with no kids, and the realization hit me last year. I started tearing up when I thought about it. I saw something on TV that showed lines at Disney, and I thought, 'Wow, there are a lot of parents who have to stand in those lines for rides. I'm glad it's not me.'" "Then I thought about my parents: My mother would probably have preferred to be stabbed rather than go to Disney as she hates traveling, heat, humidity, and hotels. Yet she loaded up the car, bought snacks, and packed our suitcases. Meanwhile, my dad likes traveling, but to places like Europe. He had a high-powered job, and there would be work piled up when he got back from vacation, yet he still took time off, booked hotels, gassed up the car, and took us. I never really thought about stuff like that before. My parents are both in their 80s now. I reflect on the things they did, and how quickly time has flown." —u/cranberries87 13."My dad was the official 'taxi.' He always wanted me to get home safe, so he would come to get me at 11:30 p.m. every Friday and Saturday." "It was always 11:30 on the dot. My friends once saw him waiting around the corner at 11:28. He would drive any and all friends who could cram in the van, no matter where they lived in the city; sometimes it would take more than an hour. Even when I was in my late 20s and married with a baby, when I stayed at my dad's place and went out to a late show, he stayed up to make sure I got home safe. Always a dad, I guess! When he died, my friends remembered him fondly, singing along to the oldies radio station like the sweetest dork. I think he liked listening to our conversations and knowing a little about what I was up to. I was really lucky to have a dad who cared so much." —u/idle_isomorph 14."My parents encouraged and supported my love of reading. They read to me, taught me how to read before I was in school, let me order books from Scholastic magazines and buy books at the book fair (one of my absolute favorite events at school), and took me on weekly trips to the library where I felt like Matilda with my wagon of books." "They didn't punish me when I got in trouble at school for reading during class, but just laughed it off instead (If I had bad grades, they wouldn't have laughed). I didn't fully realize until college that not all kids read like my siblings and I did. I'm an author now, and it's all thanks to my parents supporting my love of reading." —u/EmeryMoonberries 15."I did appreciate it at the time, but the fullness didn't hit me until a year later: My dad took me to get my first gender-affirming haircut before I came out to him. He didn't say anything about it other than offering to show me how to trim it myself and style it with light gel." "Even when I did come out a year later he never made a big deal out of it. It still makes me a little teary remembering what a relief it was." —u/borrowed_words 16."My brother and I loved school and needed intellectual stimulation, so every summer, my mother would make school-like activities at home for us. She worked at our school, so she had summers off with us, and we'd do themed weeks where we learned about different things." "One week we'd learn about the ocean, spell the names of ocean animals, make seashell crafts, go to the pet store to look at fish, learn about the tides, do equations about schools of fish, then at the end of the week we'd go to the aquarium. The next week would be the jungle, and it would be the same thing, a zoo field trip, etc. I can't imagine how much time, energy, and money she put into making sure we weren't JUST sitting around doing our summer workbooks but actually applying the knowledge to the world around us. It also shows how intelligent she is, because planning all of that could not have been easy." —u/fellinstingingnettle 17."My mom is and has always been 'Mrs. Make-it-happen.' A good example of this was once when my siblings and I wanted the ultimate sleepover with all of our cousins at our house. I didn't know at the time, but my parents were low on funds, but it didn't stop them from giving us what we wanted." "For lunch, my mom made the ultimate sandwich towers for all of us kids. To paint the picture, she made a table full of bologna sandwiches, egg salad sandwiches, turkey sandwiches, ham sandwiches, and PB&Js. Each type of sandwich was cut diagonally and stacked high on separate fine china dishes that were passed down from my grandma. I can't describe the feeling of walking downstairs and seeing that after playing video games all day." —u/modestEmpress 18."I'm thankful my mom homeschooled me. Having been diagnosed with ADHD and getting tested for autism now as an adult, I would NOT have done well or had a good time in public school. I would have been severely bullied for being 'weird' and fallen behind academically because of my difficulties learning in the standard ways. I never thought of it as a big deal, but looking back, I am so incredibly grateful that she did that for me." "Because of her, I got the chance to be a kid and not sit at a desk inside for hours every day. I did well in college because of all the one-on-one teaching and help I got from her and my dad. I was able to do things that interested me and learn things that would actually be useful in life." —u/Cyber_Security25 19."My mom grew up deprived of life's 'simple pleasures', so when she became an adult and had five kids, she made sure we got to enjoy the little simplicities. She would buy us chocolates for Valentine's Day or celebrate St. Patrick's Day with the green and pinching, etc." "It might seem moot, but now, being an adult, surrounded by those who don't see the pleasures in little things, it makes me appreciate all the effort my mom put into making things feel special and setting a precedent for the magic I want my own daughter to feel." —u/_lucymolly_ Which one of these memories was your favorite? What was something special your parents did that you didn't appreciate until you were an adult? Tell us in the comments or answer anonymously using the form below! Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.
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