
Redditor's ‘gross' new mattress is making me itch — what to do if your bed is delivered damaged
But Reddit user DomenicGioffre had an altogether more nightmarish experience when unboxing their Prime Day mattress purchase.
Describing the bed as "gross", they posted pictures of their new mattress displaying tell-tale signs of water damage and mold, despite being fresh out the box.
"Horrifying!", from user Proof_Ad663, just about sums it up.
A mattress will grow mold or mildew when moisture becomes trapped within the layers. This can be the result of spills and accidents, but it occurs during everyday use as sweat becomes absorbed by the mattress.
For that reason, we recommend regularly airing your mattress. When you change your sheets, leave the mattress uncovered for several hours to allow moisture to dissipate. This prevents mildew building up during regular use.
But while user Quintaneous suggests the damaged mattress has been handily "broke in", we think this is a case of manufacturer error.
Get instant access to breaking news, the hottest reviews, great deals and helpful tips.
It's likely moisture got into the mattress either during the assembly process —boxing a mattress takes a lot of steps — or when the boxed bed sat in a warehouse waiting for delivery.
These kinds of issues are rare — we test a lot of beds to find the best mattresses for all sleep styles (including Zinus mattresses, the brand behind the bed in question) and problems are few and far between.
Even Reddit users have chimed in with their own positive Zinus mattress experiences (Moneymaker_Film says "I got the green tea one it's amazing and brand new" while GarnetandBlack describes their new Zinus as "pristine.")
However, if you've unboxed your mattress to find something "beyond unusable," as jjopm describes, you'll need a way out of this nightmare.
It's hard to identify if a mattress in a box is damaged until it's out of the packaging (although if the box or packaging appears compromised, halt set up until you can contact customer services.)
Once unboxed, returning a mattress is a trickier process. Particularly if you've ordered from Amazon or other third-party retailers, which are less likely to offer a mattress warranty period.
A warranty should cover any damage to your mattress, so follow these steps immediately after identifying the problem:
Then the next problem: actually returning the mattress. Often a brand doesn't want the bed back, as it can't be resold, which means you need to get rid of it.
But if they do want it back, we recommend getting a mattress bag and arranging a courier for collection.
Otherwise, you'll need to dispose of the mattress. In cases of damage, it's unlikely you'll be able to donate or recycle the bed. Our guide to mattress disposal can help you find the right path to take.
Reddit user wwydinthismess suggest if this happens to you, it's time to: "clean your apartment like crazy. You might have bed bugs now."
However, bed bugs don't care if your bed is clean or dirty— the perfect mattress for a bed bug to thrive in is essentially any mattress that smells like their food source (bad news: that's you.)
But if you're still feeling a little itchy, you might want to check for signs of bed bugs, to ensure no pests have been delivered to your bedroom.
Bed bugs love the dark, so begin by checking in the cracks and crevices. Bed bug glue traps can help you identify an infestation before it gets going, while a diatomaceous earth barrier can keep pests from your mattress.

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a few seconds ago
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Woman Called 'Selfish' After She Won't Let Mom, Stepdad and Siblings Stay in Her College Apartment
'I told them they should find an Airbnb if they want to visit,' the woman wrote in a Reddit post A woman seeks advice from the Reddit community after refusing to let her family stay in her apartment while her roommates are away. In a post shared on the popular AITA subreddit, the 20-year-old college student questions if she's in the wrong for not offering up her space. "I'm (20f) in college and I rent an apartment with two of my friends (20f) who are in a relationship," she writes in her post, explaining the living arrangement. "So our apartment is two bedrooms and it works for us." Both her roommates recently informed her they were heading home to visit their families "for a few weeks" and told her they would be okay if she had people over. When her mom found out the apartment would be mostly empty, she immediately asked to come stay with her husband and the poster's two half-siblings. However, the poster is uncomfortable with her family staying in the small space. "I told mom there wasn't enough space for everyone and she said I'm used to sharing with my half siblings and could do it again," she shares. That suggestion quickly triggered memories of her childhood living situation. When she lived at home, she was forced to share a bedroom with her half-siblings, who are 11 and 13 years younger than her, respectively. "We only had a two bedroom house and mom said it wasn't a priority to get me a new room," she explains, adding, "I hated it." In fact, part of the reason she avoids visiting home is that she'd still be expected to share a room with the kids. "That drives my mom crazy so she said they can come to stay since I won't," she writes. "I told her it doesn't take care of the sharing a room problem." Even with her roommates gone, she still doesn't feel comfortable cramming her family into the space, especially since the setup hasn't changed from what she grew up with. "She said it's no big deal and I said it is and it always was, she just never cared." Her mother accused her of being "selfish," insisting that the family is making an effort by choosing to visit her and "taking time out of their summer to come see me." Despite the pressure, she stands firm and suggests that her mom look into other options. "I told them they should find an Airbnb if they want to visit but mom said no," she writes. Her stepfather then chimed in, claiming the poster "benefitted from them so the least I could do is provide accommodation for free." Over the past four weeks, the topic continues to come up with no sign of resolution. Never miss a story — sign up for to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories. Her mom tries to appeal to her emotionally, saying the younger siblings miss her and are confused about why she never comes home. "She told me she misses her first baby and can't understand me pulling away like I have," she adds. But for the young woman, it all comes back to how she felt growing up. "There's just no way I want to share with two kids and one of them is my half brother which always made it more awkward to me," she writes. As she continues to face guilt and pressure from her family, she turns to Reddit to ask if she's truly being unreasonable. Read the original article on People Solve the daily Crossword


Buzz Feed
a minute ago
- Buzz Feed
33 Kitchen Items Reviewers Confirm Are Worth The Money
A Carote pots and pans set that doesn't take too much negotiation to earn a space in your cabinet because you can nest the pots inside each other and just attach the detachable handle to the pot you need at the time. Pretty nifty! Promising review: "I LOVE these pots and pans. My boyfriend tells me that I have too many, but I will literally wash one of these and reuse it before I use one of my other ones. I've had these for about 3-4 weeks now, and I haven't used another pot or pan since! They are my favorite and definitely worth the money. They are truly nonstick. Love how easily they stack together since you can take the handles off. I would say the only downfall is the silicone lids. They are nice, but I made chili in the bigger pot one night and the sauce kind of stained the lid, but after a couple of washes it eventually came off!" —SaraGet it from Amazon for $49.99+ (available in nine sets and in seven colors). An electric can opener that'll hold the can for you and with one smooth touch, open that can up so that you can enjoy your can of Campbell's with zero frustration. Mmmm mmm good. 😋 Promising review: "This was so easy to use that I actually didn't even realize it was working. I thought it wasn't working because it just went in a circle so fast with no effort. It took me a few minutes to realize it had already opened the can. It did it so smoothly I hadn't even noticed the can open. Life changer!!!!!!!! And no rough edge. No danger!! Sooo worth it!!! So easy to use. The only regret I have is not purchasing this sooner!!!!!!!!!!!!! Every household needs this." —Nicole32Get it from Amazon for $35.28. A butter-storing mushroom — with a bit of cold water and a pinch of salt in the base, you can have fresh and soft butter whenever you need it *without* refrigeration. This cute toadstool can sit right on the counter for ready-to-spread butter for up to a month. A George Foreman grill — a blast from the past that's still remarkably practical and explains why our parents all had one in the '90s. This grill has a drip catcher that holds all the grease that drains from your burgers and other foods while cooking, to leave you with even less of a mess! Promising review: "So they say four burgers, however, I like bigger burgers, so only two will fit. This is okay because it is an easy size to store. Best of all are the removable plates that can go in the dishwasher. We have a large Foreman grill, and it is sized for up to 6 burgers. It works well; however, cleanup is a pain. In the end, I like this newer unit for cooking just a few burgers or hot dogs, and cleanup is so much easier. CAUTION: When you remove the cooking plates, the heating elements are exposed! Make sure the unit is cooled down before removing the plates. It gets used very often and works as I had hoped. Definitely worth the price." —Fix-it-JimGet it from Amazon for $41.99. A Nespresso Pop that's a single-serve coffee machine reviewers say will be the device to have you nip your coffee run habit right in the bud. And the coffee capsules are recyclable, too! Promising review: "This is so good and so worth it. I bought it on sale, but it was still relatively expensive. However, it is definitely worth it; the taste is amazing, the design makes it very easy and functional, it is durable, and finally, it does not leak. I still have not downloaded the app, so I am unable to control the coffee template, but for my iced espresso, it is perfect!" —Wesley DanielGet it from Amazon for $129.99 (available in five colors) or Nespresso for $129.99 (available in 12 colors). A double breakfast-sandwich maker, because yes, one would probably take up less space, but you know you're gonna want another, so let's not pretend. Or, you can make two because you know your partner is going to see how good yours looks, and instead of sharing, you can hand them their own. Promising reviews: "I bought this a few months ago, and it's worth every penny. I use this several times a week. It's quick, convenient, and easy to clean. You can come up with all kinds of different toppings and cheeses that you can't get at the drive-thru places, and it doesn't take up too much counter space. You won't be disappointed." —Jennifer"My husband loves a great breakfast sandwich. This was fun, and quick, and gave us lots of yummy ideas. The quality was actually amazing and really elevated breakfast and lunch. High performance at a super cheap price, well worth it, and will be buying more for gifts. It's quick to clean and stores easily away. The plates are of great quality, and they're super stable. My kids love it for a quick meal on the run." —Michelle JurichGet it from Amazon for $54.45. A set of food huggers for preserving your favorite fruits and veggies and looking super cute while doing it. You can also use the cuffs on top of jars, too. Anything that helps you get the most out of your buck deserves a coveted spot amongst your things. Promising reviews: "These are so sleek, so cool, and so worth the money. Avid at-home bartender host and constantly cutting fruits and veggies — these are perfect for protecting and maintaining open fruits in the fridge! Will be buying sets for the whole family during the holidays!" —Jim"I really liked these colorful, different-sized covers for lids, veggies, and don't take up much room, which is important to me, and are worth purchasing for endless uses. Throw them in the dishwasher; they can withstand rough handling and teens. Highly rate these handy kitchen helpers!" —Polly SimmonsGet it from Amazon for $17.99 (available in five color sets). A Yonanas fruit soft-serve maker ideal for vegans (and really anyone!) who want to make a cool and sweet treat as things heat up outside. This gadget will turn your frozen fruit into a delicious soft serve. Promising review: "I bought this as a gift for my mom and ended up buying one for myself! I love this! It's so easy to make frozen desserts. I like to add Greek yogurt, chia seeds, and granola to my frozen banana and blueberry dessert to make it fiber and protein-packed. It's like an acai bowl. So easy to make, and the consistency makes it taste like frozen yogurt. My mom and I both like the mangonada Mexican frozen desserts, so I bought her frozen mango, Tajin, and chamoy sauce, and she makes her own now! I bought myself the teal and the coral for my mom. For only $40-$50, it was definitely worth the price. If you like frozen desserts but don't want all the added sugar of ice cream, this is so worth it!" —KhGet it from Amazon for $39.98+ (available in four colors). A rotating 2-in-1 colander and washing basket for one of those ~why didn't I think of this sooner~ buys. It has a handle and simply rotates to drain the water while holding your food in place. No more having to enact this Barnum and Bailey balancing act to ensure your pasta doesn't go down the drain with the water. A vintage-looking double toaster with extra-large slots, a self-centering function, and a crumb tray to ensure that toasting your favorite bagels, toast, and Eggo waffles is an easy and aesthetically pleasing experience. Promising review: "Wow, do I love this toaster! I didn't think I would love a toaster so much! It really is worth every penny! I haven't had any problems with it. It perfectly toasts bread and bagels!" —ChristopherGet it from Amazon for $89.95+ (available in three sizes and seven colors). An Instant Pot that will do just about anything you want it to. It's a pressure cooker, slow cooker, rice cooker, steamer, sauté pan, yogurt maker, and food warmer all rolled into one nifty appliance. Read our Instant Pot review for more deets!Promising reviews: "This thing is great! I bought it to cook dried beans fast, and it does. A process that required eight hours of soaking and two hours of boiling now takes half an hour. The unit is also easy to clean. Plus, it has a whole bunch of cooking modes in addition to pressure cooking. The sauté feature makes it easy to sauté the food in the same pot that you pressure cook in, so it reduces the number of pots and pans you need to cook your meal." —S. Coffrey"Totally worth it! I use my Instant Pot each and every day. Once you learn the instructions, just brief lessons, on YouTube, it is my main cooking appliance." —CMedleyGet it from Amazon for $59.99+ (available in three sizes). A Ninja 2-in-1 toaster flip that's pretty much the perfect kitchen essential because it can not only toast your bagels and pop tarts, but you can flip it down and it's an oven capable of baking, broiling, or reheating your favorite snacks. Might I suggest some chicken nuggies? Promising reviews: "We bought this to make more space on our counter. We still wanted the option to use a toaster oven for certain things, and this toaster does not disappoint! Sleek and functional and space-saving, and easy to clean! Worth the $$$!" —Mnisha"I had my eye on this for a while, but thought the price was a bit steep. When my toaster broke, I decided to purchase it. So far, I'm very happy! The toaster makes evenly toasted bread and bagels. I love that I have the option to use the toaster oven, and it is also multifunctional. I made s'mores and used the broil feature, and I think they came out perfectly!" —Michelle GramsGet it from Amazon for $119.99. A steel wok made from blue carbon steel that retains heat, seasoning, and has the slick properties of a cast-iron skillet. It's perfect for creating delicious stir-fry and deep-fried veggies. A nonslip, clear cutting board that'll meld with your aesthetic so well you might forget where you placed it. It functions the same as a traditional cutting board while being oh-so-pretty. A sponge holder designed *specifically* to hold your most treasured possession — the Scrub Daddy. It suctions to the side of your sink, and your smiley sponge slips right on it. It helps your Scrub Daddy air out and dry faster, which also helps it to stay cleaner longer. Look at it smiling at you. A garbage disposal cleaner, because that mysterious odor in your kitchen is probably coming from the drain. If you're a fan of horror films, you probably have no interest in reaching your hand into the beyond in order to scrub it. This cleaning packet will do ALL the work for you. Just sit back and marvel. Promising review: "Holy cow, I didn't realize how easy and quick it was to clean a garbage disposal until I bought this product! Typically, in my naïve thinking, I'd just use vinegar and baking soda down the drain and call it good. Little did I know that there was an actual cleaning product available until I stumbled across it through a BuzzFeed article. So of course, I had to try it. Very simple instructions: it literally takes five minutes and some hot water, and VOILÀ! You have a clean, no-longer-stinky garbage disposal. Let me say that anytime I got a whiff of an odor, all I did was drop one of those packs in the disposal, and the smell was GONE! Plus, the blue foam bubbling through the sink was amusing to watch ;-). Worth every penny!" —VadersGirlGet four from Amazon for $3.78+ (available in four pack sizes). A rapid egg cooker so you can boil, poach, scramble, or even make an omelet super quick. Now, you can finally fit breakfast into your morning routine. Picture-perfect eggs every time, just look at the pictures below. 👇🏽 Promising reviews: "This little device speeds up cooking of soft, medium, and hard-boiled eggs by at least 10 minutes because I don't have to wait for water to boil in a pot first. Water starts steaming very quickly. The alarm isn't super loud either. Put the eggs in an ice bath afterwards, and they peel easily. Comes with a measuring cup that also has a pin on the bottom to puncture the eggs before cooking. Excellent instructions, too. It also makes poached and small omelets too." —D.G."This is the best kitchen appliance I have bought in a long time! Super easy and quick to use. I have a busy schedule, and I make egg salad a LOT to take with saves me SO much time and effort. Set it and forget it, but the super loud continuous buzzer/alarm will NOT let you forget it, which is a nice safety design. Takes exactly 16 minutes to boil eggs, and they are perfect. They're also REALLY easy to peel! I've never peeled eggs so easily before. Huge plus that I hadn't even considered. This little contraption is also pretty small and stores easily. Even if you only boil eggs once in a while, it's worth it!" —Jaime BGet it from Amazon for $18.99+ (available in nine colors).Check out our Dash rapid egg cooker review for more deets! A crepe maker in case you've constantly tried to make those buttery, thin, flaky sheets of utter goodness only to be left with a burnt paper-like bready structure. It stops today! Promising reviews: "This thing is great. You can cook a pile of crepes in half the time it takes using a large pan or griddle, and it's way easier. They're perfectly sized and shaped, too." —MixedProducts"My kids love crepes, and I debated a lot if this would be worth it or not — 100% worth it! Makes crepe-making so easy! I taught my kids, so now they can make their own. So happy I took a chance on it and got it!" —JenGet it from Amazon for $29.99 (available in seven colors). A 4-in-1 chopper, spiralizer, dicer and slicer ideal for meal prepping. You can chop onions and nuts, mince herbs, or spiralize zucchini. And it's compact, which makes it a great addition to kitchens with little to no counter space. Promising review: "What a time saver. I made pico de gallo in a couple of minutes. As for the cilantro, I placed 1/2 a jalapeno on the blades, then cilantro. Chopped beautifully. Works very well, well worth the $$." —Yvette GarzaGet it from Amazon for $29.99 (available in four colors). A set of collapsible silicone microwave to-go containers, thin enough so you can keep one in your everyday bag and be ready to take home leftovers when your boss buys lunch for the entire office and there's still a lot of food left at the end of the day. A trio pan that'll let you try out three different lasagna recipes at one time. This is an excellent find for people who like to meal prep for the week. Promising reviews: "I love the ability to make three different types of lasagnas since I have three picky eaters. I have also used this to make three different types of cakes as well. It is so worth the money if you plan on making different dishes or just have a family of picky eaters." —Mmperry"There's nothing but good coming from this pan! Yummy crunchy edges on every piece! I made three different kinds of lasagna in this pan, and all I can say is that there were already plans for the next batch before this one was gone! This pan is heavy-duty, has an awesome nonstick coating, and will definitely stand up to much use. The recipe called for spraying the pan with nonstick spray, but it was completely unnecessary. I've already suggested this pan to others." —sreneeGet it from Amazon for $19.49. A ~Guac-Lock~ container that squeezes ALL the air out of your dip to keep it tasty and fresh (and green instead of brown) even longer. Promising reviews: "The Guac-Lock is absolutely amazing. It does everything it claims. I've had guacamole unopened for four days in it, and when I opened it up, it looked as fresh as the day I had made it and, more importantly, tasted just as fresh. This product may be a bit on the pricy side, but if you are a guacamole connoisseur and make it on a regular basis and don't like wasting it, this is a no-brainer. It will save every savory, delectable bite for consumption. I couldn't recommend this product more." —Aaron Clark"It works! Keeps your guac fresh for days. Worth the money." —MeGet it from Amazon for $24.95. A mini ice sphere maker you might have peeped on your TikTok timeline because they're super cool and look amazing. Fill, freeze, twist, and voilà! You've got the cutest ice spheres. It even comes with a storage container so you can make a bunch of batches to always have spherical ice at the ready. A pre-seasoned Lodge cast-iron skillet, a must-have kitchen staple that'll pretty much make everything you cook taste better. Promising review: "I used this straight out of the box to cook two pieces of chicken breast. I used olive oil and butter to prevent any sticking and to further season the skillet. I did not notice any sticking to the skillet. After I seared both sides of the chicken, I then let it finish in the oven at 375 degrees for 15 minutes. All I can say is wow! I love this skillet already, and this is my first time using it! I'd never used anything comparable to a cast-iron skillet. Never again am I going back to frying chicken, or any meat for that matter, in a regular pan. This was well worth the investment. If you're looking at this, just buy it." —EricGet it from Amazon for $12.99+ (available in nine sizes). A useful and chic 17-piece knife set encased in an acrylic block that'll make you look like one of the cooking elite. Cooking is much easier with knives that cut to the chase, and this set will not disappoint. You can cut 'til your heart's content with no excess left on the blade, thanks to their nonstick coating. A Ninja Crispi, my personal kitchen helper that's helped me cook at home more and more. How can you not cook at home when this nifty and compact device makes it so easy? It has four settings that allow you to make small or family-sized meals. It comes with a handy booklet with recipes and guides on settings for your favorite meals (it even has one for frozen hashbrowns, my personal fave). And when you're done cooking, the glass cooking dish is also your Tupperware *with* lid. It got 5 stars from me and them. ⬇️ Promising reviews: "It was time to replace my old, tired air fryer. I love several other Ninja kitchen appliances, so Ninja was the first company I looked at. That's where I found the Ninja Crispi. I was intrigued by the glass cooking compartment and its unique design. It air fries my frozen fries and tater tots evenly. I also air-fried three boneless pork chops for 15 minutes, which were so juicy and perfectly cooked! The glass cooking compartment is a breeze to clean, too. I could not be more pleased with this air fryer!" —Babs"Absolutely love this machine!! Easy to use, versatile, and easy to clean. Worth every penny." —AvonnaGet it from Amazon for $159.99 (available in six colors). A pair of herb scissors that'll make Taco Tuesday prep even easier with its five blades ready to chop up extra cilantro and scallions. Promising reviews: "I've recently tried growing some herbs on my patio and have loved using herbs in cooking. These make life so much easier. After I clean my herbs, these scissors make it easy to quickly cut them into small pieces. The design is brilliant. The plastic cover helps get herb pieces off the scissors, so there's no waste. It's easy to wash, too." —Lori"Wow, you will not regret this purchase. It's one of those you don't think you need, but YOU REALLY DO NEED IT. Just like those slap choppers, if it saves that much time, it's worth the investment." —KristinH515Get it from Amazon for $9.99. A cleverly designed 3-in-1 gap cleaning brush perfect for deep cleaning items that have very tiny nooks and crannies that you can't get to with a regular sponge or dish rag. For example, that tumbler that you take with you everywhere you go — there may be some nasties that you can finally clean out, thanks to this brush. A rectangular lazy Susan, a simple contraption so convenient and practical you'll wonder why you didn't buy it sooner. Easily access to your daily go-tos without having to move the ketchup and creamer out of the way several times a day. Instead, just spin it. A mason jar cold brew maker here to have your *cold* cup of Joe ready when you wake up in the morning. Not a coffee person? Have no fear, reviewers also love to use this mason jar to brew their favorite iced teas or infused waters. A Dracula (aka "Gracula") garlic mincer, an unserious yet super helpful kitchen gadget that'll give you another reason to smile while making garlic bread. It's a little ironic, too. A vampire that minces garlic — get it? 😂 A KitchenAid stand mixer duh. If you've ever tried to bake, mix, cook, etc., without one of these babies, you know the struggle. This makes the whole putting-all-the-ingredients-together process so much easier and faster. Promising reviews: "This mixer is not only a game changer in the kitchen, but the color is absolutely stunning. Depending on the lighting, it can give a warm blush tone, and at other times, it gives off a pastel pink. Functional and beautiful, I'm in love! It's worth it." —Amaya"I love that this mixer is so heavy-duty. My kids and I like to bake a lot. The way the paddle blade whips up a bar cookie dough is super fast. I like that I can lock the stainless steel bowl down and control the speed of the mixing process. I've yet to have a tough cookie after switching from my hand mixer to the stand mixer. The wire whisk blade also creates the most fluffy meringue, so light and airy. Once again, being able to control the speed of the whisking action has been key in this process. I also love, love, love the dough hook. I have a sourdough bread recipe that calls for a total of 6 cups of flour. Mixing it with my hand mixer was impossible, and stirring by hand was exhausting. However, this mixer's dough blade attachment did the work in hardly any time at all. I was able to put all the ingredients together and get on with the good part of baking bread much faster, and having that wonderful aroma permeate my house." —Amazon CustomerGet it from Amazon for $449.95 (available in 22 colors). A condiment fork for the pickle and olive lovers so they can indulge in their favorite snack without reaching their fingers deep into the tiny jar. And it even attaches to the jar for added convenience. Everytime you use your herb scissors: Some reviews have been edited for length and/or clarity.
Yahoo
4 hours ago
- Yahoo
Bride Excludes Estranged Sister from Her Wedding, but Feels Bad for 'Innocent' Brother-in-Law
The upset bride said that her sister tried to "weasel her way back into my life" after news of her engagement broke A bride is dealing with lingering guilt after she didn't invite her "innocent" brother-in-law to her wedding because she didn't want her estranged sister to come. Taking to Reddit, the 33-year-old woman explained that she has had a bad relationship with her sister for nearly her entire life, and they've been estranged since around 2020. "From as early as I can remember, she belittled me, mocked me, called me dumb, and constantly made me feel like I was worthless," she explains. "Anytime I tried to speak up for myself or say something logical or reasonable, she'd twist my words or fly off the handle." "Our entire dynamic has always been about her being right, her being in control, and me learning to stay small to avoid conflict," she adds. Things "blew up in 2020 during the pandemic" while the poster "was trying to help" their family find living arrangements, only for her sister to repeatedly send "aggressive messages" and voicemails. Realizing it was "emotional abuse," she wrote that she was done with her "narcissist" of a sister. Though she cut off contact, the woman said things changed when she got engaged in 2023. Then, her sister reached out and tried to "weasel her way back into my life." "I told her clearly and calmly that for my mental health, I couldn't. I asked her not to respond. She responded anyway, of course, with a fake-polite message that ignored everything I had just said," the woman recalls. In response, she clearly stated that she did not want to resume their relationship. Additionally, her sister would not be invited to the wedding. While she said her brother-in-law "has always been good to me," she realized that inviting him would give her sister a way to tag along. So, she also told her sister that he was not invited. At the time, she felt "guilty about excluding" her "calm, kind, and level-headed" brother-in-law. "But I felt I had no choice. Inviting him would've created a messy gray area, and I wasn't willing to gamble my peace on my wedding day," she writes. Years after the wedding, she's still haunted by the decision. "I don't regret protecting myself. But I hate the idea that he never got the truth," she said, adding, "And I hate that someone kind got caught in the crossfire." Fellow Redditors rushed to reply and assure the woman that she was not in the wrong but was caught in a difficult situation. "It sucks that someone kind got caught in the crossfire, but his presence would have risked bringing all that toxic energy into your wedding. Your decision wasn't personal against him," one person wrote. Another person urged the bride not to "feel guilt for protecting yourself." "It hurts to feel responsible for his impression of your sister, but you can't and shouldn't compromise your emotional safety for someone else, even if that person is kind," they continued. Never miss a story — sign up for to stay up-to-date on the best of what PEOPLE has to offer, from celebrity news to compelling human interest stories. One Redditor urged the woman to let go of her concerns about her brother-in-law, saying, "Firstly if he's as kind as you say, he's get it." "Secondly, why do you want to convince him you're the 'good one' and not at fault. If you want to be left alone, leave your sister's relationship alone too. Otherwise you're up for major drama and vengeance. The ball is in your court. Have you really let go?" they asked. After getting some feedback, the woman returned to update her original post. In addition, she included a letter to her brother-in-law. While she acknowledged that he was unlikely to see it, the woman wrote that it would help her find closure. "I didn't make that decision out of pettiness or resentment. I made it out of self-preservation. For once, I chose me. I chose peace," she wrote to him, signing off with, "Wherever you are, I hope you and the kids are well. I hope your life is calm. I hope you're happy." Read the original article on People Solve the daily Crossword