Life before and after nearly losing a child
Archie Bland's article about his son and his family's experience mirrors that of my own family (The boy who came back: the near-death, and changed life, of my son Max, 24 May). My son, who is now nine years old, had a blood clot in his small intestine which led to two major life-saving operations in 48 hours, and a complete change in his health, capabilities and lifestyle. My life has now been for ever split between 'Before 16 April 2023' (the day my son nearly died) and 'After'.
Archie detailed the intense emotions of every step beautifully. One of the hardest things when you go through nearly losing a child, and having an altered child return to you, is the loneliness. He depicts this so well, as even if you are lucky enough to be surrounded by family and friends, it is hard to not feel as though you and your partner are the only two people in the world who are dealing with this fear, sadness, worry and desperate need to help your child.
My family and I are now in a much better place – much better than we ever thought possible back in April 2023. There is a time when the loudest thoughts will fade – those grief-ridden thoughts about the future your child may have had, the desperate thoughts about making every moment count and being useful for your child's development, the frightening thoughts about your child's future, and the outright terrifying thoughts about their vulnerability after your own death.
There is a time when they will fade into the background. They will always be there, but the loudest thought will be the love for your child and how they are capable of brightening up your day with the smallest gesture or smile. I offer Archie and his family my sincere best wishes.Faaiza MunirLondon
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