Why urban hobosexuality is quite a thing in India now (or at least becoming one)

India Today

3 days ago

Home Prices Rise Up to 14% in Top Indian Cities Led by Premium DemandProperty Prices in 13 Indian Cities See 8-Point Rise in March 2025Average Residential Property Prices Expected to Rise by 6.5% in 2025 Amid Luxury Segment GrowthDelhi NCR, Bengaluru Lead Housing Price Surge; 1BHK Demand Rises Amid Affordability ConcernsDo you see a similarity in these headlines? You don't need to be a real estate expert to figure it out that property prices are at an all-time high in India's metro cities. And when buying a home gets harder, rents inevitably follow suit. That means living alone or even upgrading from a cramped flat to a slightly bigger one is becoming a distant dream for many urban dwellers.advertisementNow, combine skyrocketing housing costs with the city's emotional loneliness, and you get a ripe environment for something rather unexpected, urban hobosexuality. Behind the slightly cheeky label lies a very real dynamic: people entering relationships less for love and more for a place to live, often leaning financially and emotionally on their partner without offering much in return.What is hobosexuality?
At its core, hobosexuality refers to a pattern where someone enters a romantic relationship primarily for housing or financial support, often under the guise of a deep emotional connection.While the term itself might feel like clickbait, the lived reality is anything but light-hearted. It's a growing psychological and relational phenomenon that's emerging in urban India, quietly and insidiously.Not just a western buzzwordThe term 'hobosexual' originally surfaced in Western internet culture, used colloquially to describe someone who dates primarily for shelter (like we saw Matthew McConaughey in Failure to Launch). In India, it is catching ground. Why, you ask? Of course, the sky-high rents are to blame (and some stingy individuals too). Not that we are making a case for hobosexuals, but isn't that true? Metros like Mumbai, Delhi, and Bengaluru, where housing is expensive, the dating scene is getting increasingly transactional.
Dr. Chandni Tugnait, psychotherapist and founder-director of Gateway of Healing, says, 'We're increasingly seeing individuals, particularly women, getting involved with partners who bring little to the table - emotionally, financially, or logistically, but take up disproportionate space in their lives. The relationship appears romantic on the surface, but there's often a hidden power imbalance where one partner is clearly benefiting more than the other.'When romance feels like responsibilityTake the story of Ankita (name changed), for instance, a successful entrepreneur in her late 30s. 'It felt romantic at first,' she recalls. 'I believed we were in love, therefore readily agreed to welcome him home. But I was footing the rent and carrying the weight of the relationship alone.'Over time, she noticed a disturbing pattern. 'He wouldn't split the rent and would compensate with little things like taking the dog for a walk or cooking sometimes. When I needed him emotionally, he was nowhere to be found,' she says.It's that kind of emotional bait that is really tough to spot at first. To some extent, our modern dating culture can take the blame for these associations. Love bombing, fast-tracked closeness, and performative vulnerability blur the lines between affection and manipulation. The red flags are so hard to spot.The emotional economy of urban livingHobosexuality is actually a reflection of the society we live in. Don't believe? A report from Deloitte, titled "2025 Gen Z and Millennial Work Survey" states that more than 50 per cent of millennial and Gen Z employees are living paycheck to paycheck in 2025.Housing costs in metro cities often swallow over 40 per cent of a single person's income. For instance, a person living in Mumbai will spend at least 48 per cent of his income in housing.'Add to that the cultural pressure to settle down, the glorification of struggle, and a deep-rooted saviour complex many people carry, and you have a cocktail that allows hobosexual dynamics to thrive,' says Dr. Tugnait.'What makes it even more dangerous is that it's often disguised as devotion. You're not just paying rent, you're paying for the illusion of companionship.'Love needs empathyCalling out hobosexuality isn't about demonising people who are struggling. Nor is it a call for hyper-independence. But it is about building relationships based on equality and awareness, not emotional convenience.- Ends