'TSITP:' Here's What Being Team Conrad Vs. Team Jeremiah Says About Your Relationship Style

Cosmopolitan

4 days ago

It's one of today's most divisive questions: Team Jeremiah or Team Conrad? The Summer I Turned Pretty's central love triangle has become a hot-button issue. Mainly, because it adheres to a longstanding teen drama formula specially crafted to sow fandom division: distinct archetypes for the two lead pretty boys. Ones that make it incredibly easy for viewers to identify which falls more in line with their personal taste. There's the happy-go-lucky golden boy (in the case of TSITP, Jeremiah) or the brooding, complicated introvert, with plenty of layers that beg to be unpeeled. (Like my darling Conrad, for example. But I'm trying not to show bias here.)
Someone defaulting to slightly more online verbiage would call this the black cat vs. golden retriever dynamic. But for a brief onscreen history, consider Edward vs. Jacob in the Twilight series, Logan vs. Jess in Gilmore Girls, or even look to the TSITP's modern peers (My Life With the Walter Boys also features two brothers fighting for one girl's affection). All of this to say, onscreen love triangles that inspire slightly deranged fan wars are nothing new. (What does feel modern is the fact that the official TSITP social media accounts had to put out a statement begging fans not to send online hate to the show's actors.) But offline, does our commitment to one 'team' over the other signal something larger about us as individuals?
The Summer I Turned Pretty's current season has called plenty of relatable relationship woes into focus. Including, but not limited to: co-dependency, poor communication, infidelity, and disrespectfully-sized engagement rings. So, given how real the issues on the show can get, I believe that the implications of one's Team Conrad vs. Team Jeremiah allegiance extend far beyond the fictitious universe of Cousins Beach. It might have something more to say about your personal attachment style and other habits that define your approach to relationships. So we sought insights from relationship experts/TSITP stans to verify my suspicions about what your personal Fisher brother bias really means.
According to relationship expert Shan Boodram, loving Bellyjere could signal you're more avoidant in love. 'Team Jeremiah is all about avoiding heavy emotional baggage—being more carefree and less future-focused,' she tells Cosmo. 'With Jeremiah, Belly gets someone who's trying to fix his mistakes with a quick fix—with a marriage proposal that feels more like a way to control her than to truly commit. If you're Team Jeremiah, you might be more about living in the moment and keeping it light.'
People with an anxious attachment style may also back Jeremiah, or even relate to him, says Zoe Spears, a marriage and family therapist. 'Jeremiah fears that he will not be enough for Belly, and needs consistent reassurance of her love for him, despite knowing deep down that she has feelings for his brother,' she says. 'When Belly finds out Jeremiah cheated on her, he goes overboard, to the point that he proposes in a way that appears impulsive in an attempt to secure the relationship and quell his own fears of her leaving him, and less so because the couple is ready for this next step emotionally.'
Conrad's actually been a bit disorganized romantically. He's obviously matured in season 3, but throughout the series, he's given Belly mixed messages. 'While avid Conrad fans argue that he only acted this way because his mom was dying, instead of communicating his needs, he assumes he knows what is best for Belly and breaks up with her in an attempt to avoid disappointing her and possibly being dumped himself,' Zoe says. 'He may also be projecting his own struggles of losing his mother onto Belly and therefore beating her to the punch rather than risk losing another woman he loves.' A truly tragic circumstance!
But that was then. In the current season, a vote for Conrad is a vote for emotional stability, says Shan. 'Team Conrad represents those who want emotional maturity and depth. His ability to rise above pride and act as a friend to Belly is a green flag. If you're choosing team Conrad, you're all about looking ahead and making sure your relationship is solid enough to weather the long haul.'
Our heroine is a bit all over the place, but you probably didn't need an expert to tell you that. Belly's a classic example of a disorganized attachment style, which definitely keeps this show's plot moving. She was in quintessential anxious attachment mode during season 2. (Remember that hard-to-watch scene when she accused Conrad of flirting with another girl during his mother's wake?) But according to Zoe, she's more avoidant with Jeremiah. 'She's increasingly becoming more preoccupied about someone unattainable, Conrad, while the relationship with Jeremiah becomes more serious, and they're discussing wedding plans. This is a classic de-activation strategy for an avoidant partner when the relationship becomes more serious.'
So if you support Belly healing on her own rather than jumping into a relationship with either of the Fischer brothers, consider yourself well-adjusted. But Zoe notes that fixing unhealthy attachment styles isn't as easy as just staying single. "Choosing to be single and pursue her dreams independent from the opinion of a partner may help her to identify what her core needs are, but they also may not necessarily resolve the deeper attachment patterns that exist, rather than simply removing the trigger," she says. "If Belly doesn't work through her insecure attachment style, whether she chooses Jeremiah, Conrad or neither, there is the likelihood that these patterns will be activated in future relationships." So I'm officially Team Belly Should Work on Herself.