The moment I knew: moving so far and so fast wasn't in my character but it just felt right

The Guardian

5 days ago

In December 2024 I arrived in Sydney ready for an adventure. A friend was getting married in Australia and I had originally booked the trip with my ex, but when he dropped out after our breakup I decided to go ahead. I was considering quitting my job and moving back to the Netherlands so, even though I didn't know what my future would look like, I was ready for a holiday. I planned a week with friends in Sydney and Newcastle, a week with a friend travelling up the east coast and a final week on my own.
On New Year's Eve I'd been at an all-day boat party on Sydney Harbour when a friend said she was off to meet an old flame of hers at a fireworks event in Bondi. I remember her telling me he had a nice single brother called Ben and showing me a photo: he had a moustache, was wearing a tank top and didn't look like my type at all. I told her I wasn't interested. I just wanted to stay with friends.
When my friend's taxi arrived she pulled me in with her – and thank goodness she did because, when I met Ben in person, he looked completely different to the guy in the photos – tall and handsome with a big smile. He immediately made me laugh. We kissed within 10 minutes of saying hello, which was about half an hour before midnight.
Ben had been ill with food poisoning and hadn't been in particularly high spirits until we arrived but said he immediately forgot about all of that. There was just this instant connection and we both felt as though we had nothing to lose. We lived too far apart to ever see each other again.
The following day Ben and his brother invited my friend and me to a music festival. We worried it would be awkward at first but Ben and I picked up where we'd left off. We were like little kids running between stages. The next morning I had to leave for the wedding in Newcastle. I remember kissing Ben goodbye at the ferry terminal in Manly, wondering if I'd ever see this man again but knowing I definitely wanted to. We started texting straight away and I was so distracted I ended up missing my connecting train.
Later in the trip I got an ear infection just before a five-day scuba diving expedition on the Great Barrier Reef. I cancelled – and something inside me was happy to, knowing that it would give me five days without a plan. Ben was competing in a triathlon in Nelson Bay and he asked if I wanted to come watch him drown, which felt like a fun way to hang out. It turned out to be an indirect invitation to stay with his aunt and uncle for the weekend. I booked a flight immediately.
At this point I saw the whole thing as a bit of fun – a holiday romance, nothing serious. Being so far from home gave me a kind of 'why not' mentality. We both knew long-distance between London and Sydney would never work so we just decided to enjoy each other's company for as long as we had it.
Over the next couple of days we spent time with his aunt and uncle, slept in a tent on the beach and competed in a mini-triathlon together. I remember travelling back to Sydney with Ben holding my hand the whole way back. He didn't want to let me go and I felt the same way. He booked flights to Melbourne with me for the Australian Open that week, and I ended up delaying my return flight so we could have an extra day together.
Leaving each other at Melbourne airport was when we decided to see if maybe we could make long-distance work after all. We agreed to meet in Scotland six weeks later, calling each other every day in the meantime. I met all of Ben's family and friends on that trip to Scotland and, after four days, he asked me to be his girlfriend. This time when we went our separate ways it wasn't just goodbye until the next trip; it was goodbye until we moved in together. It wasn't in my character to do things like this but it just felt right and my friends and family could see that. They told me to take a leap of faith and see what happened.
Ben and I reunited eight weeks later at Sydney airport and this time I was holding more than just a holiday bag.
It turns out that my first impressions of Ben were right; we talked non-stop that New Year's Eve and, to be honest, we've never really stopped. He is still that fun and charismatic guy who makes me feel comfortable.
For now Australia is our home but we plan to move back to Europe together in the longer term. Whether that's England, Scotland or the Netherlands remains to be seen – that's for figuring out later down the line. All I know is that we will find our home together.
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