I'm planning every aspect of my son's college dorm room with the moms of his future roommates. I wonder if we've gone too far.
The school provided most of what they needed, including furniture, a fridge, and a microwave. We added towels, bedding, a bathmat, a laundry bin, and a few basics. It was enough. They all settled in and figured it out.
Now, my younger son is heading off to college. And somehow, a group text with other parents turned what should be a rite of passage into something that feels a little more like a wedding registry.
The group chat started out helpful
The dorm group chat began with a few moms. When three of our sons committed to the same university and decided to room together, one mom created a new thread called " Dorm Room Group."
We invited our sons into the chat, too, but the moms kept the chat going. The boys occasionally chimed in, usually with something like: "Sup, mom."
The chat was helpful at first. We shared orientation links, move-in dates, and dorm layout videos.
One mom then found a Facebook post in a university parent group from a mom in Florida. She suggested we connect about making the woman's son the fourth roommate.
"He looks normal! Maybe we should snag him! He might take you guys to Florida to visit," she texted the group.
Our sons followed him on Instagram. He ghosted them.
But then came the espresso machine
The shopping picked up one summer afternoon. They started filling their Amazon carts with things I never even considered buying for my sons.
They told me I should purchase a matching backup rug for the bathroom. They also informed me that they were already stocked with toilet cleaner and Scrubbing Bubbles.
Then I got a text that made me a little jealous. It was a photo of one of the boys who got an espresso maker for his birthday, "for the dorm." I thought it was a bit extravagant for a dorm room; I didn't even have one in my own kitchen.
But then I wondered what other kitchen appliances they might need. I've had my eye on one of those rapid egg cookers.
The texts kept coming. We compared meal plans and even chose the dorm room color scheme. We discussed every aspect of our sons' future lives. They remained mostly silent throughout the chats.
There's more than one way to pack
The other moms in the group chat are thoughtful and involved. This is the first time they're sending a child to college, and they care. I do, too.
But I've done this before and never wanted to be this involved. Maybe I'm just more hands-off or a little cheap. I sent my older son with what he needed, not a full redesign. His dorm room didn't need a theme.
At one point, I texted the group: "My first roommate decorated her side of the room in clowns, and it did not occur to me to think it was weird. Or too weird, I guess."
My dorm experience started in 1988. The walls were painted concrete blocks. My side had a lace-trimmed pillow, pandas, and a gorilla poster from my mom's teaching stash. The bathrooms were down the hall.
It wasn't perfect, and it certainly wasn't social media-worthy, but I survived. My son will, too.
They'll be fine, even if the towels don't match
My son hasn't said much about the group chat, but I wonder if he and the other kids are overwhelmed by all the planning happening around them. I certainly get frustrated by it at times.
When I suggested colors for his comforter and asked him what else he wanted, he just shrugged.
"I'll figure it out," he says. And I think he will.
We're all just struggling with letting them go to build their own lives. What we really want, I think, is proof that they'll be OK without us.
But I remind myself that they'll be fine, even if the towels don't match or no one brings an egg cooker.
What they really need can't be packed in a bin — and they'll figure that out, too, just like we did.

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Buzz Feed
2 hours ago
- Buzz Feed
People Are Sharing When They Realized Their Privilege
We all want what we can't have — it's a very common mindset these days. Whether it's a dream lifestyle, a different career path, or even just a celebrity's outfit we saw on Instagram, the grass always seems greener on the other side. In a world where comparison is so common, it's easy to overlook the good things we already have going for ourselves. But sometimes, all it takes is a moment of reflection to see just how lucky we really are. The truth is, gratitude doesn't have to come from a grand gesture, it simply can come from a shift in perspective! Over on r/AskReddit, people are sharing the moment they realized they were more privileged than they thought, and the responses are truly eye-opening. "When I was a kid, I used to complain that my mom made food for us instead of letting us have Happy Meals like my friend got every day. As I got older, I realized that my mom being able to cook a new meal almost every other day was a privilege not many people have. Coming home after school to eat food your mom spent hours making was peak." "I was in the military, and during training in the Philippines, the drive from the airport to the base was surreal. Entire families were living under a sheet of metal that was smaller than the shed we had for our lawnmower and bicycles. There was definitely no running water. It made me appreciate growing up with four walls, a roof, and some type of food on the table, even if there were days of instant ramen for breakfast, lunch, and dinner." "The first time I went to Zambia, it hit me hard. When you personally know people who make the equivalent of $35 per month, it really makes you think about going down to a department store and buying a shirt for $50." "I once read some comment about how people who can look back on childhood photos and videos are privileged. I thought, 'What? Everyone (of a certain age) will have loads of pictures of themselves throughout their childhood. It's not even about money, cameras have been cheap for decades.' But they only exist if your parents took them. If your parents were negligent or just didn't really care about being parents, they wouldn't have taken photos. The number of photos and videos that I have are a powerful testament that my parents really loved me. It's a privilege I took for granted." "When I went to Zanzibar, I stayed in a beautiful gated resort that was owned by the local community. What we didn't realize was that this resort and the 30 jobs it created kept the entire village alive since the rest of the island had about 90% unemployment. It felt really dark to be a privileged participant in this system, but at the same time, our American dollars were keeping hundreds of people alive." "In seventh grade, we found out that one of our classmates had been left alone in the house with his younger sister for two weeks. His mom left on a bender and he'd been coming to school everyday like normal. He never told anyone what happened until their lunch money ran out." "I once complained about my 'small' childhood bedroom to a friend who shared a room with two sisters her entire life. I felt like such an idiot — I had my own space, my own stuff, and never once thought about how lucky I was." "When I heard my classmate talk about getting beat because they happened to be in the vicinity of their father after a bad day at work." "I went to college with a guy who was the second oldest of ten kids. He was thrilled to move into the dorms because he was sharing his room with only one person, he could eat as much as he wanted in the dining hall, and someone else cleaned the bathroom. We found out that he never had his own birthday party, so 'Joe's birthday' became an annual event on the group party calendar." "I remember reading about someone from a developing country coming to a first world country and being shocked that they had electricity all the time. It never occurred to me before that there were people in the world living without power for varying amounts of time. I still think about it." "I found out a coworker of mine was absolutely terrified to take a sick day because they couldn't afford to lose hours.😔" "When I realized I never had to skip a meal because of money, and that alone puts me ahead of millions. It didn't feel like a big deal growing up, but it really is." "I remember when a friend of mine said their first dentist visit was in their 20s and I realized I used to complain about braces like it was some kind of tragedy." "About 10 years ago, I was working as a mental health case manager. My clients (all adults with major mental illness diagnoses) would go to the ER thinking they were having a heart attack, but it always ended up being anxiety. They would end up sitting in the waiting room for hours before being seen by triage. One day, I started having chest pain. I went to the ER and I did triage immediately. They didn't find anything wrong with my heart, but quickly decided to schedule a cardiac catheterization the next morning. It ended up being due to heartburn. My overall health is good. My clients...I would mostly say poor. They would definitely be a higher risk for a heart attack, yet I was treated like royalty because I ate at Taco Bell." "The fact that if you are able to see this, you belong to the richest 50% of the world." "Realizing how hard it is to make money. I will never complain about everything I want again." "Whenever I remember there are people living without running water, including the toilets." "All illustrations of pregnant women are white. I was 25 when I saw the first illustration of a black pregnant woman. It's such a small detail that suddenly made me realize so much." "One summer, my online friends remarked that I seemed pretty well-off. I totally denied it, having known people who lived in bigger houses and took international vacations. They were like, 'It's not normal to take four vacations a year, especially right now (during the Great Recession). Your parents are always remodelling the house. Didn't they just get a screened-in porch?' It was definitely a wake-up call. I think it's crucial to break free of the bubble." "Got hit with a $1500 fine and while it was annoying, it didn't jeopardize my financial safety. It made me realize that such a blow would be crippling to many people if they were suddenly hit with that." "When I was looking for an apartment to rent and the landlord said I was an 'ideal tenant' without knowing anything about me besides what he could see (skin colour, gender presentation, etc)." "When my brother wrote to me from his University outreach in Africa and said they have to go 12 miles each way everyday to get water. They had a land rover but they still had to do this or they had no water." "I grew up middle class and parents paying for your college was pretty typical in my area. It wasn't until post-college with all the information on college loans that I feel so blessed to not have any." "My most recent moment was when I saw the documentary Welcome to Chechnya about the anti-gay purges there. I felt sick to my stomach realizing that people are stalked, killed, and tortured for being gay while I'm living in a nice apartment with my same-sex spouse. People's lives are being destroyed over something that I don't even have to think about in my day-to-day life." "When I look at what I have rather than what I lack. We're all blessed in one way or another but we sometimes don't see it." "As a woman brought up in India, I had my fair share of curfews and restrictions. But I was also sent abroad for an advanced degree and was encouraged to pursue a career. My parents didn't enforce all the 'women should learn to cook and clean for her husband' BS. Most women who grew up around me didn't have the same luxury, so sometimes they gave in to patriarchal norms instead of sticking to their feminist guns like me." "I became overweight and realized how much nicer people were to me when I was slim." "I went to Cambodia and asked an older woman what she did for fun as a child. She looked at me and said, 'Fun? My family was murdered in the Rouge and I was put in a camp with my younger sister where we learned to plant mines as children.' You hear about bad things happening in distant lands, but this felt so close when I was with her face-to-face. You can't really go from that to 'what are your hobbies now?'" "Senior year of high school, I was hanging out with my black friends. We were just talking about GameCube games in the parking lot of a mall. Suddenly, the cops came up to us super aggressively and jammed all of them against the wall. I was waiting for my turn, but instead, one officer looked at me and said, 'Go home.' It was a foundational experience for me that really pulled the scales from my eyes." "I once posted a silly video of me in my backyard on my social media. One of my coworkers saw me the next day and said, 'OMG, you're so lucky you have a backyard!' We both had little kids at the time, and she was living in a tiny apartment. It made me look very differently at my little three-bedroom house in the suburbs and its big green lawn)." "My partner's cousin is mixed and lives in a completely white area with a lot of stereotypical racism. When HBO announced they were considering casting Paapa Essiedu for Snape, it got me into a discussion with my partner. I told her how it would be hard for me to identify him as Snape because of what I was originally used to. She told me that her cousin didn't have anyone in the entire Harry Potter series to look up to growing up. Sure, there were a few non-white characters in there. But other than checking the diversity tick, they didn't fill huge roles. And then it dawned on me: the reason I couldn't imagine why it would be important for her cousin to have some cool diverse characters was because I simply never experienced it. I wasn't missing it because I didn't know I was missing it. Man did I feel privileged that to say I'm looking forward to Essiedu's portrayal of Snape now LOL." "I used to think that by age 45–50, it was normal to buy your second house. Boy, was I in for a rude awakening." "I was a wild kid and spent years involved in the justice system. I have an uncle in my life who was well-off and so I had lawyers who had time for my cases. I also had psychologists, psychiatrists and treatment centres. I ended up living with him and he got himself support in how to parent me. My uncle threw every resource he could at my head and my job was to catch them. There are other people tied up in the system who have loving families but they don't have the ability to access the resources that I had. The system does nothing to provide those resources and there should be a whole lot more investment in it." "One time while talking to a gay coworker, he mentioned one of the reasons he chose the firm was because he wanted kids and the firm's insurance would cover that. When I asked if he meant adoption, he said he wanted biological children. I looked at him confused before saying, 'I think I have some bad news for you…'He gave me a confused look and said, 'They cover surrogacy.' It had never even crossed my mind. So while I looked like a dumbass, it was a good moment to reflect on the privilege I have." "I realized I was the only girl among my friends and relatives who hadn't been sexually assaulted in some way. I was always annoyed that family and friends were fiercely protective of me, until I realized why in my mid-twenties." "In fifth grade, I realized I was the only kid with entirely new school materials every year." Privilege doesn't always look like diamond rings and luxury vacations — sometimes, it's as simple as having clean water, electricity, or food on the table. These stories are a powerful reminder to appreciate what we have! Now it's your turn: have you ever had a moment where you realized how privileged you are? Share your story in the comments, or anonymously in the form below! For more real-life stories like this, take a look at BuzzFeed Canada on Instagram and TikTok!
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Miami Herald
2 hours ago
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13-year-old toothless cat returned to shelter when family moves. He needs a home
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Gizmodo
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Dyson Ball Animal 3 Extra Vacuum Cleaner Quietly Returns to Its All-Time Low for Amazon's New Month Deal
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