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Metro
a day ago
- Entertainment
- Metro
My partner died — now I'm sleeping with four men at once
Welcome to How I Do It, the series in which we give you a seven-day sneak peek into the sex life of a stranger. This week we hear from Rayna*, a 40-year-old nutritionist who's partner tragically died in 2022. Rayna has always been part of the fetish community, after being introduced to it at university. In particular, she enjoyed watching group sex. So, when she felt ready to start dating again last year, she joined Feeld, known for being a more sex positive, open-minded dating app. And, Ryna says it 'certainly delivered'. 'I don't care much for monogamy anymore, and my sex drive is unashamedly high,' Rayna explains. 'I have a deep need for sex, but I don't use it to validate myself.' While she identifies as straight, she loves watching men and women have sex, and enjoys group dynamics. Rayna says she's not ready for a romantic connection, but has sex around three times a week. She's currently involved with two single men, as well as two men in open relationships. 'I love that my sex life is active and varied, with regular players who I trust and have a connection with,' she says. Rayna has no desire to have a baby, although marriage is something she could see for herself at some point in the future. Love reading juicy stories like this? Need some tips for how to spice things up in the bedroom? Sign up to The Hook-Up and we'll slide into your inbox every week with all the latest sex and dating stories from Metro. We can't wait for you to join us! Without further ado, here's how Rayna got on this week… The following sex diary is, as you might imagine, not safe for work . This is a non-work day for me, and John* comes over in the afternoon. I get a text before he arrives that says 'be fully dressed and well behaved.' I interpret this as answering the door in high heels and a see-through dress. He immediately pushes me down onto my knees. After he hangs up, we have sex in front of the mirror so we can watch ourselves do doggy style. I've always enjoyed primal positions like this. I had only ever had clitoral orgasms with my late partner, but now, I can climax through penetration. I think the trauma of him dying burned away insecurities I had. The experience taught me that life can be short: just get out of your head and enjoy it. I go for dinner and to see a play with my mum after work. Mark* texts on the way home to arrange our next meet and we chat about BDSM power dynamics. During a session we had recently, he really restricted my pleasure over several hours. He denied me full thrusts, before giving me everything and taking it away again. We discuss ethical non manogamy a lot too, as he has a long-term girlfriend, and I'm very curious. When I began dating after my partner passed, I wanted someone I wouldn't fall in love, as that was something I just wasn't ready for. But I did want someone I could have sex with, and get back on the horse with. I found Mark, who was already dating other people. I realised I didn't care – there was no jealousy, or terrotorial twinge. I discovered I liked hearing about the sex. From there, the separation between sex and an emotional partnership became really clear in my head. I meet Elliot* for a drink for the first time after we matched on Feeld. I get a good vibe from him, and I turn him on at the bar by telling him all about my fun Monday with John. Elliot is in an open relationship, and they enjoy group sex, so I'm hoping we can all have some fun together. I've had threeways with other women before, but not with two men and never a foursome. All things that are now on the horizon. We finish our margaritas and go back to mine. I go down on him in my hallway and then we move to the bedroom, and he returns the favour. I know he'll go home to his partner and tell her all about it, which I find really hot. Today I work from home, then I just go to the gym and relax, before masturbating to some of my home videos. I often film myself have sex – I have so many clips, that I don't even watch porn anymore. While doing so, I message Elliot about how much fun I had last night. I think about what it would be like to have sex with Elliot and John at the same time. I also fantasise about watching John and Elliot doing this with Elliot's girlfriend. The possibility for all this happening, and soon, is high. I have a very intense orgasm and fall into a deep sleep. Fred* is in town (he lives abroad but is often in London for work) and we meet for dinner. I've been edging myself all day on his instructions, and the anticipation really ramps up as we eat. Afterwards, we go back to his hotel, and I strip for him before he spanks me. I'm so turned on, but he makes me beg him for it. It is rough, but he knows my limits. I'm not into extreme pain or degradation, and this is always respected. I'm never pushed further than I want to go. We have sex three times, and in between sessions I post about the hotel in a women's travel Facebook group that I'm a member of. I give a rave review and make a brief, throwaway comment about the fact I am there for a cheeky hook up. The post goes viral with women wanting details of the sex, it's like a feeding frenzy with thousands of comments. It later transpires that the hotel website gets so much traffic that it crashes and is down for two days! Fred says he's going to ask them for a discount next time he stays there. I wake Fred up with a blowjob. I'm a real morning sex person, always have been. I go for lunch with girlfriends and share my raunchy antics which cause a mixture of shock, wicked delight and a touch of concern. I assure them I'm enjoying myself and being safe. It's a perfect girl's lunch, complete with champagne. I perhaps drink more of it than I should and end up showing them all a photo that I took of myself on my bed in black lingerie and heels. Ultimately, they are all really happy to see me having fun and love hearing the juicy details. Mark comes around after I get home from work. I'm told to wait in my bedroom, kneeling on the floor facing the wall. I'm not allowed to turn around. This time, he also brings his partner with him and tells her to come and kneel next to me. We quickly smile at each other in excitement. I'm someone who always likes to be in control, yet in the bedroom, I love to be ordered around. More Trending We give him a blowjob together as he sits in the chair in my bedroom. John likes to regard this chair as 'his', although in reality, it actually belongs to my cat. Then Mark has sex with us both. It's a great, fun end to the weekend and we lie in bed afterwards chatting and joking. There was no feeling of being left out or jealous, even though they were a couple. View More » I cook myself some dinner while enjoying a glass of wine and ponder the logistics of a sixsome, which I'd love. Is that even a word? When does it cross over into orgy territory? I get a really good night's sleep. Do you have a story to share? Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@ MORE: Sleepgasms are real — my climax wakes me up in the mornings MORE: Elizabeth Hurley reveals blossoming bond with Billy Ray Cyrus' daughters after loved-up summer MORE: I went on a £11,000 desert orgasm retreat — this is everything that happened
Metro
01-08-2025
- Entertainment
- Metro
Guys are excited to hook up with me — until they see my bunkbed
Welcome to How I Do It, the series in which we give you a seven-day sneak peek into the sex life of a stranger. This week we hear from 26-year-old Caroline*, a straight writer who lives in Camden, and has been single for more than three years. She's now actively looking for a relationship after a few brief flings, and she's turned to dating apps. 'I can't deny that every time I go on a date, I look in the mirror and think to myself, this could be the one where I tell the grandkids: 'It was his Hinge prompt that did it for me',' Caroline says. She goes on multiple dates a week and says, while it's easy to feel down if they don't work out, when they do go well, they usually end up back at hers. It's here Caroline surprises her dates with her sleeping arrangements – a bunk bed. 'It's a fascinating test of character for my dates,' she says. 'They can often seem disappointed or a bit flummoxed by having make an effort to climb into bed. Green-flag guys get excited when they see it and I've had some wacky sex up there, but there are a few who are peeved off by it.' The bunk bed is part of her grandparent's old flat where she lives and it's been a fixture of the home since the 1980s. It's an effective way of weeding out potential suitors too and Caroline certainly won't be getting rid of it. Without further ado, here's how Caroline got on this week… The following sex diary is, as you might imagine, not safe for work . X Factor icon Diana Vickers and Metro's dating expert Alice Giddings dive into your wildest sex, love, and dating dilemmas – every Tuesday. Listen wherever you get your podcasts or watch on YouTube. And be sure to follow and subscribe so you never miss an episode. You can also join the fun on our WhatsApp Group Chat here – share your dilemmas and Diana and Alice may just give you a call. The only thing getting me through today is the hinge date I have tonight. The funny thing about having a bunk bed is the look on a guy's face when they come across it for the first time. I like it because it has an air of adventure, going at it high above the ground, and I don't have to worry about waking up my neighbours in the flat below me. The worst part is having to watch my date climb up to the top bunk, cautiously going up step-by-step with little of the bravado they had minutes before. I meet Ben* at a bar and we end up on a pub crawl along the road back to mine. The conversation is stilted at the start, but he's charming and very intellectual. The more alcohol we have, the more we're attracted to each other, and soon we're back at mine and all over each other. We get to my room and Ben eyes the bunk bed with trepidation but to his credit he clambers up. I get on top of him in the wrap around position – like cowgirl but sitting up. I love it because it's so intimate and feels the best for me. We climax together before falling asleep. Ben leaves rather swiftly this morning and I can't help but worry that the bunk bed put him off. The after-intercourse conversation was also sub par. I think he originally found the idea of sleeping with someone on a bunk bed at 22 playfully naughty, but in reality he seemed rather unsettled. He let out a loud 'harrumph' when I explained to him he had to charge his phone on the bottom bunk, and then seemed even more agitated when his boxers fell on the floor and he had to go down the steps in the cold to retrieve them. Thankfully, I have a second date tonight with someone who left me hanging after a wild kiss at a tube stop. I meet Dan* in Soho in an underground bar and order some food. Dan is very confident which I find extremely attractive. We just about make it home without succumbing to our desires in the street and make our way up to my room. There's no worry etched across Dan's face when he sees the bunk bed for the first time. He actually takes it as more of a challenge. When you have an actual hunk in the bunk with you, life can feel pretty good. The sex is adventurous and we temporarily drop down from the bunk bed and end up doing it in front of the sink. We do doggy but standing up as he stands behind me. I don't feel particularly aroused when I see my reflection in the mirror, though. I'm slightly turned off when I come across the used condom on my upper bedside table this morning. I think it always says so much about a guy when they actually make an effort after sex. Still, I'm working today, and frequently check my phone to see if Dan's messaged. He pops up on my phone an appropriate amount of time later, saying he enjoyed the night and the bunk bed made for great entertainment. I smile and in the evening I get an early night, ready for my friend's party tomorrow. I'm on the tube to my friend's birthday and messaging someone who I went on a first date with a few months back. We've never slept together, and the wanting is what fuels our communication. We've just never gotten around to a second date. At my friend's party I forget all about him, after meeting a handsome banker, Liam*, who takes me on a pub crawl after the party ends. He's dangerously tall with a big ego and oozes confidence, and as the night ends he invites me back to his place in Chelsea. It's an upgrade from my bunk bed, where I do tend to hit my head on the ceiling if I'm on top, but the sex isn't quite what I was expecting. Our bodies are slightly off because of his height and we can't get the right rhythm. But it goes from awkward and clunky to satisfying when I get on top of him and do my thing before we both climax together. I'm ready to accept last night as a fleeting drunken escapade, but when Liam insists on walking to work together the next day (thankfully I wasn't wearing anything too outlandish to be deemed a hangover risk in the office), I start mulling over the possibility it could be something more. People talk about the levels of intimacy that are unlocked after dating their partners for a few months, but I feel like these depths of passion were ignited in just one night fuelled by too much cheap Aperol. I've never felt so turned on by someone as he worked to pleasure me and make me feel just as satisfied as he did. I've sworn off fake climaxing in the name of feminism, but acting wasn't necessary last night. I'd felt so astonishingly at one with him, floating out of my body and seeing us intertwined. I'm now already imagining his response when he (hopefully) comes to mine and sees the bunk bed. I'm meant to have a date tonight but hastily cancel on them after Liam asks to meet at a pub near my flat this evening. I'm weirdly nervous before, a feeling which I haven't grappled with for ages. I question what we'll talk about, but after seeing him and remembering just how strikingly handsome he is, my worries soon disperse. We order drink after drink and he tells me he loves techno and 18th century art, but on the way back to mine I have a strange feeling he said he hates heights. At first glance, he immediately exclaims: 'Why the HELL do you have a bunk bed, if you think I am going up there you can think again.' He tells me his parents deprived him of a bunk bed until one summer, on a trip to a holiday camp, he fell off of one onto the floor. Reluctantly, I agree to squeeze into the single bottom bunk with him instead. We get in on, doing missionary and spooning, as well as my wrap-around favourite and I'm incredibly satisfied by the time we fall asleep. Liam stays at mine for a while this morning while we cuddle on the bottom bunk before he heads home. He texts me a study related to bunk bed injuries in America, and suggests drinks after work next week. More Trending I don't usually sleep with three guys in one week, my average is more like once every two weeks, but lately my libido has been pretty high – for what reason I don't know. I was really enjoying dating this week and I'm so glad I just went with it. Liam and I seem to really click and I actually think I can see a future with him – maybe he's really The One. He's smart, funny, driven and, of course, majorly handsome too. He's the first guy in a long time I've felt this way about – maybe this one could be a keeper? This article was originally published in April 2025. Do you have a story to share? Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@ View More » MORE: These are the most common reasons couples divorce after years together MORE: My husband paid our entire £45,250 house deposit — it makes me so uncomfortable MORE: Four warning signs your engagement is actually just a 'shut up ring'
Metro
25-07-2025
- Entertainment
- Metro
At 38, I almost gave up on love — until I met a local love in the Caribbean
Welcome to How I Do It, the series in which we give you a seven-day sneak peek into the sex life of a stranger. This week we're talking to Carla*, 38, who is straight and lives in London. After almost giving up on love, a chance encounter while on holiday in the British Virgin Islands (BVI) led to romance. Carla was sunbathing on the beach when local tour guide Daniel*, 38, offered to show her around. The chemistry was instant and a one-night-stand led to something more. Now the pair are embarking on a long-distance relationship, with Carla flying out to the Carribbean every few months. She tells Metro: 'It was so unexpected. I haven't been in a long-term relationship since my early-30s, and I was pretty much resigning myself to the fact that I'd be single forever. 'But from day one, we both knew this wasn't just a holiday fling. When I came back home, we were FaceTiming every single day, and we naturally fell into a relationship. 'I was nervous about telling people as it's all a bit cliche – a white woman and a man from the Carribbean – but people have been supportive.' So, without further ado, here's how Carla* got on this week. X Factor icon Diana Vickers and Metro's dating expert Alice Giddings dive into your wildest sex, love, and dating dilemmas – every Tuesday. Listen wherever you get your podcasts or watch on YouTube. And be sure to follow and subscribe so you never miss an episode. You can also join the fun on our WhatsApp Group Chat here – share your dilemmas and Diana and Alice may just give you a call. Financially, Daniel can't afford to come to the UK – but to be honest, I'm more than happy to visit him in the BVI, it's paradise. I do all the body admin before I leave: pedicure, manicure, eyelash lift, and I get a full body wax – facial hair, armpits, full Hollywood and thighs. I've probably spent about £250 before I've even left. Daniel picks me up from the airport armed with food – he knows I'll be hungry, but also it means I can eat in the go, so we can have sex as soon as we get to his. We rip each other's clothes off and do it in missionary, which is our go to position. It was quick – which it always is the first time we see each other. I notice that Daniel hasn't bothered to do any manscaping down there, and I roll my eyes thinking about the effort us women always put in. After a break, who do it again. We start with missionary, but Daniel loves doggy. He's massive though, so we have to build up to it. Daniel's taken the day off so we can spend time together. We wake up, and before saying a word to each other, we're having sex. Later, he asks if I want to go for a walk 'somewhere private.' He knows I like having sex outdoors, and even though he finds it's a little nerve-wracking, he's willing to indulge my fantasy. We go to a secluded beach, and have sex in the sea. I feel like I'm way more flexible in the water – I can bend in ways I never knew I could! We come home and have sex a few more times. The sex is quite loving now, where as the first few times are a bit more feral. We wake up and have sex again in the morning. I'm realising I much prefer sex first thing – I get too sleepy at bedtime. We're doing it so often but I don't feel sore down there, as I'm always so turned on by him. Daniel drops me off at the beach while he's at work. Sometimes I can be here from 9am to 5pm – I while away the time reading or scrolling on Instagram. It isn't until Daniel picksme up though that I realise I'm terribly sunburnt. I'm literally red raw across my chest, belly and legs. He gets a cold flannel to soothe my skin, but it' was's drying out within a few seconds because my skin is so hot. He quite rightly suggests we shouldn't have sex so as not to irritate my skin anymore. As we fall asleep, I think about how lucky I am. It might sound like the bear minimum, but just a few months ago I couldn't imagine that there was actually a kind, thoughtful man out there who would want to take care of me like this. Daniel takes me to a different beach this morning – before he leaves, he insists I sit under an umbrella all day. My skin is blistering now which once again is putting a stop to any sex. That evening, I think about offering to give him a blow job, but I'm too lazy. Our relationship isn't all about sex though. We have great banter, he makes me laugh so much, and most importantly, he thinks I'm hilarious (which I am). It's always been so easy between us. I wake up and my skin is still really sore. There's a part of me that feels quite panicked. I've flown all this way and I want Daniel to feel some love from me. I don't think our relationship is dependant on us having sex – I know it's deeper than that – but after years of dealing with men who lie, cheat and are emotionally unavailable, it's hard to break those thought habits. So, I initiate sex. We had to go very gently, but it feels loving and I'm glad we had that moment of closeness. After my day at the beach he picks me up. We have a routine where we come back home and shower together. It's always fun and Inevitably, this leads to sex again. If I'm honest, I don't really like shower sex. I hate the confined sex and I always feel like I'm going to slip and break something. But he loves it and after the outdoor sex the other day, I'll do this for him. I wake up with a strong desire to pee, and immediately feel that familiar sensation of cystitis. F*CK. This always happens when I have a lot of sex after a dry spell. Last time I came to see Daniel in the BVI, I took some herbal tablets every day that were recommended to me by a friend who also suffers with cystitis. Obviously, this time I forgot them. Daniel doesn't quite understand what's going on, but he's very sweet and takes me to the pharmacy. I've been drinking as many litres of water as possible, and I've been peeing in the sea which is somehow less painful. Tonight we come home, shower and have sex again. It hurt, but I'm horny. I still have a touch of cystitis but it feels much better today. We have sex in the morning, and again when we get home. Then that night I have a special request: I want him to wake me up with sex. It's a fantasy I've had for a while (as long as it's totally consensual, of course). I'm vaguely aware in the night of Daniel starting to finger me, and I'm instantly ready for sex. We shag in missionary, with a bit of spooning sex thrown in, and when we both finish, I instantly fall back to sleep. Heaven. More Trending It's that time of the trip where I start to feel that knot in the pit of my stomach, as I know there's only a few days left before I have to leave him to go home. There are always so many tears, and I hate not knowing when I'll see him again. We've been together for less than a year, so it's too early to talk about relocating. If we lived in the same city, we wouldn't be talking about moving in together. View More » It's hard, but I trust Daniel 100%. I want a future with him in it, we just don't know what that will look like yet. Do you have a story to share? Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@ MORE: Best summer holiday money-saving deals, from free kids meals to discount days out MORE: I went to LA to live the dream – but then I discovered its dark side MORE: I'm scared my lesbian relationship will mean I can't afford a baby
Metro
18-07-2025
- Entertainment
- Metro
'Afternoon delights' with strangers stop me from falling in love
Welcome to How I Do It, the series in which we give you a seven-day sneak peek into the sex life of a stranger. This week we hear from Cheri*, a 27-year-old bisexual writer. She's currently single, but is keen to explore new people and sexual interactions. 'One thing I'm particularly happy with about my sex life is my ability to separate sex from emotions, which makes casual sex enjoyable,' she says. 'But I'd like my sex life to be more frequent and to try some more kinky things.' Cheri's four year relationship ended two years ago, and since then she's opted for no-strings sex because she 'tends to fall too hard, too soon' when dating. 'This approach avoids me feeling lonely while single, but also ensures I remain focused on myself and my work,' she adds. So without further ado, here's how Cheri got on this week… The following sex diary is, as you might imagine, not safe for work . Love reading juicy stories like this? Need some tips for how to spice things up in the bedroom? Sign up to The Hook-Up and we'll slide into your inbox every week with all the latest sex and dating stories from Metro. We can't wait for you to join us! I'm spending a week in Oxford for a change of scenery, and once I arrive, I get off to a wholesome start. I unpack my bags, touch up my mascara, and head into town to explore. It's my first time here and I've got plenty of recommendations from friends. The sun is shining, and the city is filled with tourists and students. I spot a nice cafe and decide to sit down for a while. Out of the corner of my eye, I spot a couple at the next table. He has his arm around her and is kissing the top of her head as she nestles into him. For a moment, I feel slightly envious. I've been single for a few years now, and for the most part, I'm very content with it. I've grown to enjoy all the perks of singledom, like having full control over Netflix and getting an entire double bed to myself. The only thing I miss is that physical touch. I want to have sex again. I look at the options of dating apps on my phone. Will I go for Tinder, Bumble, Hinge or Feeld? I decide that I'll put my efforts in Bumble this time. I've tried all the apps while travelling around the UK and Europe, but Bumble is definitely my favourite. I update my account with some recent photos and check my prompts. Then, it's time to swipe. I always start very picky and then slowly deteriorate and lower my standards. But I pause when I reach Josh's* profile. His first photo features him on the beach, a cheap way to show off his extremely toned physique. I hope he's still this tanned, as he looks absolutely delicious. I feel a familiar stirring in my body; I'm definitely attracted to this man. His profile doesn't reveal much about him, just that he's 26 and a tennis coach. I swipe right for Josh, and every time I get a Bumble notification about a new 'bee in the hive' (aka a match), I hope it will be him. But it's all the other men I swiped right for who suddenly seem less attractive in comparison. Waking up on a Monday morning is never enjoyable, but I spend a few minutes with my trusty vibrator to ease myself into the week. I imagine a man touching my body as I press my trusty toy against my clit. I really want to have sex soon. Once I finally get out of bed, I check my phone and discover Josh matched with me at 2 am last night. I wonder why he was on a dating app at that time. Was he looking for a quickie? Was he looking at the photos as he touched himself? I message Josh and decide to make a joke about whether he'll give me a tennis lesson. He replies within minutes. We chat, flirt a bit, and the conversation is easy. I decide to be completely transparent and tell him exactly what I'm looking for out of this. I'm only in Oxford for a few more days, and I just want a fun one-night stand with no strings attached. As soon as I send the message, a wave of embarrassment washes over me and I briefly debate deleting the app. But then he replies, saying he's definitely interested, topped off with a cheeky emoji. The hard part turns out to be planning our one-night stand. I'm leaving on Friday, and Josh is working in the evenings this week, teaching tennis to kids after school, or professionals who work their jobs during the day. His one-night stand could only start at about 11pm when I'm usually tucked up in bed. I also don't love the idea of meeting someone for the first time that late at night. Josh suggests we meet in the afternoon instead; my instinct is to decline. I can't have sex with someone in the middle of the afternoon…right? A one-night stand must happen at night, an inherently sexier time of day. But then I think about it for a moment. I love getting my sleep at night, and this way, that wouldn't be disrupted at all. Also, meeting up with a stranger for sex in broad daylight is probably way safer. Why not have a one-night stand in the afternoon? I agree, and we plan for Josh to come over tomorrow at 2pm. I'm looking forward to it but I'm also terrified. Either way, I'm having sex tomorrow. The hardest part turns out to be creating a sexy daytime outfit. I settle on a fitted long skirt, a black t-shirt, and some natural looking makeup with a bronzed glow. Josh arrives right on time, and I open the front door to see him strolling over. Oh, he is just as cute as his photos. We naturally both move into a hug, which shouldn't feel this awkward since we're [hopefully] going to be naked together soon. We head to the living room and I make us both a cup of coffee. We talk a bit, and there is soon a lull in the conversation. I offer a 'house tour', and Josh eagerly agrees. I show him around, and then we reach my bedroom. Josh looks around and then sits on the bed, watching me intently. Alright, this is happening. I walk over so I'm standing between his legs, and I lean over and kiss him. Josh responds eagerly, wrapping his hands around my waist to pull me closer. We fumble onto the bed, making out as if we've known each other for a lot longer than twenty minutes. Our clothes are quickly shed, and Josh nuzzles his face into my neck, telling me I look 'so gorgeous'. I giggle and thank him. I go down on Josh, and he returns the favour. I tell him I want him and he immediately moves up. I remind him to grab a condom, and he obliges with a mischievous grin. We have sex, first in missionary and then moving into doggie-style, at which point I orgasm. Josh gives my behind a playful smack, and I urge him on. Once he finishes and disposes of the condom, we lie down, both panting and laughing together about the fact that we first met in person about an hour ago. 'Have you ever done this before?' I ask Josh. He says he's had casual sex, but never this quickly, and definitely never in the middle of the afternoon. I like the thought that I'm his first; it makes me feel special. We have sex again and end up in doggie-style again to finish it off. I message Josh to tell him that I had a great time. He tells me that he keeps thinking about taking me from behind and the view he had from there. After a few saucy messages back and forth, we plan for Josh to come over again this afternoon. I kiss Josh as soon as he walks through the door, pushing him against the wall. He seems to enjoy my forwardness, and we quickly move upstairs. He asks me to go down on him again, and I gladly comply. We start with me on top, and Josh seems to really enjoy it. I'm surprised that I don't feel more self-conscious about my body in this position, considering I don't know him, and he is so toned. But something about the casual nature of our meetups allows me to shed my insecurities and just enjoy the sex. I know I'll never see him again, so it feels like a business arrangement almost. If I'm not trying to impress him I can just embrace my larger body. In the break between sessions, we talk openly about our lives and sexual interests. There's a sense of intimacy in both knowing exactly why we're here and not hoping for anything more. I wake up to a message from Josh saying he had a great time and safe travels. He tells me to 'hit him up' if I'm ever back in Oxford. I reply saying I definitely will and good luck with everything. He doesn't reply again. More Trending As I'm packing my bags, I discover a discarded pair of underwear on the floor, likely tossed to the side in the throws of sex. I have a 'sex flashback' to looking up at Josh while on my knees. I cringe slightly at the memory, my cheeks flushing, but I also feel strangely comfortable with everything that happened. View More » I get on my train, leaving Oxford, Josh and my first one-afternoon stand behind me. It definitely won't be the last time I enjoy an 'afternoon delight.' Do you have a story to share? Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@ MORE: Dating app horror: I discovered he got a girl pregnant after finding him on Bumble MORE: I married an AI bot – my human wife doesn't mind at all MORE: I thought my date was too young but I was the immature one
Metro
11-07-2025
- Entertainment
- Metro
I'm heteroflexible — women always overestimate their oral skills
Welcome to How I Do It, the series in which we give you a seven-day sneak peek into the sex life of a stranger. This week we hear from Chase*, a 30-year-old writer in Barcelona who is in multiple ethical non-monogamous (ENM) relationships. He's heteroflexible, which is someone who is predominantly heterosexual, but is sometimes sexually attracted to (or curious about exploring) members of the same sex. Chase has sex three times a week on average — usually all with different older women. 'My past relationship with my ex was extremely healthy and wholesome but I was never fully content and I often felt I was missing out,' Chase says. 'When I was in a long-term monogamous relationship with her, I had fantasies about relationships with sexually liberated older women. 'Now I'm living those dreams, with not just one, but several women.' Chase has been exploring ENM for the past three years and enjoys the freedom and sexual exploration it brings. Currently he has three partners he sees regularly, but this doesn't stop him from seeing other women too. So without further ado, here's how Chase got on this week… Love reading juicy stories like this? Need some tips for how to spice things up in the bedroom? Sign up to The Hook-Up and we'll slide into your inbox every week with all the latest sex and dating stories from Metro. We can't wait for you to join us! The following sex diary is, as you might imagine, not safe for work . I'm having trouble focusing on work today. I'm messaging Paula* and I'm thinking about all the things I plan to do with her later. She's in her mid-40s, a Peruvian divorcee with two adult kids back in Lima. Now they've grown up, she's living her best life in Spain. I love to take her out and treat her – not that I have a choice, as she always expects the hombre to pay. But she's worth every penny, and she knows it. We've been seeing each other roughly once a week for about two years now. It's a satisfying arrangement that provides intimacy, great sex and pleasant dates without commitment. As Paula explained when we first met: 'I don't want a husband, or a boyfriend, or a father to my kids.' That works just fine for me. Throughout the day, I send messages to other women in my life suggesting meets later this week. Some texts are sweet, while some are romantic and dirty. When I meet Paula in the evening, she looks magnificent. We walk hand in hand through streets buzzing with people and whenever we're pressed together by the volume of people passing by, or find a quiet corner, she grinds her ample backside against my crotch. I push back, so she can feel how irrepressibly hard she makes me. Soon, neither of us can bear the tension any longer, so we head back to my flat. I go down on her and when she finishes, I reach for a condom, before rolling her on her front and entering from behind. From doggy style I pull her into a spooning position so I can play with her breasts. We end with missionary. Not the conventional kind, but with Paula's legs together and flat on the bed. It's not a position I've done with many women but it's a sure-fire way to make her finish again, and the internal waves her orgasm sends up my c**k makes me orgasm too. As Paula has problems sleeping, she left late last night and I lie in until 10am to recover my strength. Besides my actual work, my focus for today is to work out. Since turning my back on monogamy, working out has become crucial for my sex life. Keeping up with multiple women, some of whom might only be sexually active with me, requires strength and stamina. All my partners know I'm ENM though, so there's no issue there. I like to take control in bed, and having muscles gives me both the confidence and the physicality to play the role of stud. I cycle to one of Barcelona's outdoor gyms where the heat adds an extra challenge to the workout. Despite some people's preconceptions about non-monogamy, I value quality over quantity when it comes to sex, and I always try to keep a day free between lovers to make sure I can perform at my best each time. Instead, I see friends in the evening after work and then get a solid night's rest. This evening I'm meeting a new chica . We've been talking for a couple of weeks on Bumble. Her name is Yewande*, and from the moment we meet, the connection is electric. She's very confident, funny and touchy-feely, which I like, and within 10 minutes of meeting, she asks if we can kiss. I'm pleasantly surprised by her directness and forwardness. She quickly explores my mouth with her tongue, and suddenly we're Frenching in the middle of the street like horny teenagers. Yewande tells me she's ordered some weed to pick up. She wants to buy me some too, and I mentally note that physical touch and gift-giving are clearly two of her love languages. It's been one of the most stimulating, interesting and sexually charged first dates I've ever had, and I tell Yewande how much I've enjoyed the conversation and how much I'd like to continue – perhaps at my place? Emotional connection is intrinsic to good sex, and so it makes sense that making love with Yewande is phenomenal. I receive a great deal of pleasure from giving pleasure to my partner, especially oral, and I want to show Yewande just how sexy I find her. I'm pleasantly surprised to find she's an all-natural girl, a bush can be extremely erotic to me. She climaxes quickly, but I'm enjoying this too much to stop, and I bring her to orgasm again with my tongue and fingers a few minutes later. Weed always makes me extra horny and it can help me last a really long time. My poor housemates will probably be annoyed tomorrow, but that's the last thing on my mind as I test the robustness of my bedframe. Yewande is a self-proclaimed 'pillow princess', which means she prefers to just lie back and enjoy whatever I've got. And I give her everything. I finally finish and collapse next to Yewande, sweaty and breathless. I wake up rejuvenated and re-energised. I suggest we freshen up in the shower together. Yewande takes the chance to get on her knees and show me I'm not the only one who enjoys giving pleasure. In my experience, many women vastly overestimate their oral-giving skills, but Yewande knows exactly how to vary the sensation and technique. I rarely finish from a blowjob but this morning it's a struggle to control myself. We start having sex standing up, but we don't feel super close, so next I lie on my back on the bed and she rides me. It's a sumptuous view, watching her grind on me. I help her to climax, but I know there's no way I'm going to finish in this position. So we end with good old-fashioned missionary, only with her legs over my shoulders. Afterwards, I make us breakfast and we eat on my balcony. Yewande is in no rush to leave, but I have deadlines approaching, so gently guide her towards the door. There's no doubt in my mind that we'll be seeing each other again very soon. Today's objectives are: gym, work, and fiesta, in that order. I cycle to my favourite Barcelona beach gym and sweat it out, before heading to an Argentinian friend's co-working space for the rest of the afternoon. Like me, this friend is a bit of a womaniser. We work until the early evening and then go drinking. Around 2am, I bump into a friend of a friend I'd met at the beach a few weeks earlier. Julia* is confident, smart and funny – exactly my type, and soon we're talking and flirting. Unfortunately, she has a volleyball competition the next day and has to say adios . I make sure to get her Instagram and let her know how much I'd like to see her again. Julia smiles mischievously and feigns nonchalance. But as she leaves and gives me the customary kiss on each cheek, she whispers, 'definitely' in my ear. I don't surface until late morning and enjoy a leisurely breakfast with my housemates, then pack my rucksack for a beach day. You never know where Saturdays might end up, so I bring a spare change of clothes, toiletries and even aftershave – just in case. I meet my mates at the beach and we spend the entire day playing volleyball, swimming, talking, and obsessively reapplying sun cream. As evening descends, we head to a Mexican restaurant for dinner and drinks. Several margaritas in, I consider messaging Paula or Yewande to see if they are free to meet, but I'm tired, and besides, I have another date planned for Sunday, so I resist the temptation and cycle home alone. In the morning, I go hiking with a former housemate. After we return to the city, I shower and change, then catch the train to Tarragona, a small town down the coast where another partner lives: Sofia*. She's a talented musician, linguist, and film enthusiast. She also turned 50 this year, but her sexual appetite remains voracious. Nevertheless, on the train I find myself thinking about Yewande, Paula and Julia. I also see on a group WhatsApp that my friends are meeting in a park, and feel a pang of FOMO. I meet Sofia outside her gym, conveniently close to the train station. Sofia is telling me about her orchestra practice, but it's hard to concentrate because I'm remembering the first time I came to Tarragona with my ex-girlfriend. More Trending I can't help but contrast how easy and compelling our conversations were compared to those with Sofia. One thing I learned from the break-up was to listen to and trust my gut instinct. And now it's telling me that the connection with Sofia isn't as strong as it should be. I try to focus on her throughout the evening, but the niggling doubt in the back of my mind won't go away. I resolve to sleep on it and if I feel the same tomorrow, to end things. It's a shame, and Sofia will be disappointed, but from the beginning, we've been clear this is casual. And I always emphasise the importance of honesty. View More » There's simply no point pursuing a connection if you're no longer feeling it, and besides, my calendar is busy with Paula and Yewande, and whoever else life throws my way. Do you have a story to share? Get in touch by emailing MetroLifestyleTeam@ MORE: UK company launches £5,000 sex cruise — these are the rules passengers must follow MORE: People having phone sex on FaceTime will now get a warning from Apple MORE: The 'Cinderella rule' has made my scheduled sex a turn on
