Latest news with #MissLonelyhearts
Winnipeg Free Press
04-08-2025
- General
- Winnipeg Free Press
Some introspection can help break strife-sex cycle
Opinion DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I know why my girlfriend won't see me face-to-face anymore. It's because we can't help but be sexual — both her weakness and mine — and we never end up working out the problems between us. Even after we can't agree on anything at all and have had a big fight, it's ended up with great sex. That's how we are. (We are both women, by the way.) Last week it seemed to really fall apart. She told me she'd had enough of my nonsense and has moved out to her cabin on Lake Winnipeg for the rest of the summer. She says she's working remotely. Do I even believe that? I really need to see her and look into her eyes, to find out. She's not even picking up her phone regularly. I asked her if I could visit, so we could finish talking things over, and she said no because it was too soon. I was shocked. This relationship is just wearing me out, but I can't seem to move on. When things are good, we have the hottest physical connection, but we still fight too much. — Sick of Fighting, Wolseley Dear Sick of Fighting: This fighting dynamic is burning your relationship out. Your mate is telling you in every way she can that she's had enough. It's time to use a different tactic — accept that you do need to keep your distance and consider seeing a relationship counsellor or a psychologist for a few visits. Your mate will be curious to know what's being discussed. Let her do most of the phoning or messaging to you until she comes back to the city. Let her have time to miss you and think about what's going on. Be a little mysterious. It can be lonely at the lake, especially in August when people are heading home to get kids ready for school, so give yourself time to get your head straightened out and see if you still want her back in your life. It's time to stop apologizing and take back some of your power. Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I have somehow ended up in a romantic mess at the restaurant where I work and I really need to keep this great part-time job after the summer. I never should have started dating someone from work, but it was kind of a thrill. And then, I dated a second employee. Now both relationships are over and we are all still working together — and I am feeling pretty awkward. Help please. — Balancing Act, downtown Winnipeg Dear Balancing Act: These little workplace romances have been just a summertime adventure for you, but you want to keep your job, so you must get over yourself. Be extra respectful and stay friendly with both co-workers. They may be moving on to heavy workloads at school or something else this fall, but they too may want to keep on working there. Let's hope you were just a summer diversion to them as well, and they are fine staying friendly co-workers with you. It's all about co-operation and helping one another when you're working for tips. Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@ or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6. Maureen ScurfieldAdvice columnist Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column. Read full biography Our newsroom depends on a growing audience of readers to power our journalism. If you are not a paid reader, please consider becoming a subscriber. Our newsroom depends on its audience of readers to power our journalism. Thank you for your support.
Winnipeg Free Press
25-07-2025
- Entertainment
- Winnipeg Free Press
No need for scheming to express your interest
Opinion DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: I recently met a great speaker at a small-business conference who is newly divorced. He was not embarrassed to talk openly about himself after the speech. He isn't overly handsome, but he has a friendly face and a great sense of humour. I was at the front of the room where everybody seemed to be competing to get close to him afterwards and hear his funny off-the-cuff comments. I muscled right in and tried to impress him. Even better, I managed to get a seat right beside him in the hotel bar after his presentation. I'm not shy, so I fished for details about his personal life — and got them. I told him I was single and gave him my business card. He seemed happy to give me his. Then I had a bright idea. I suggested he should be a speaker at one of the small conferences I organize in Winnipeg. He looked at me a little suspiciously. I said to myself on the drive home, 'Am I looking for trouble with this guy?' Maybe I am. What do you think about all this? — Can't Stop Thinking About Him, Tuxedo Dear Can't Stop: Why not just be honest with this guy, so he isn't suspicious? You have his contact info, so call him up and tell him you really enjoyed his company and would like to see him again. Honesty will save you a lot of time and allow you to be natural and not come off as a schemer. Tell him you would like to have dinner with him. What can it hurt? Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: My husband is a sad sack these days and the kids are sulking. I'm also very frustrated because it's so smoky at our rental cottage on Lake Winnipeg. We're driving in and out of the city all the time because of the wildfire smoke. We won't be spending enough time there to justify paying for the whole summer rental period. But the cabin owner certainly is not offering us any of our money back. He said he couldn't even rent all his cabins this summer — the first time ever. I've been taking my kids to activity centres and museums when we're in the city, but that's become boring for them. Yesterday, my oldest boy said we should just watch TV, save our money and hopefully we can go to the lake again in August. He didn't sound hopeful. How sad is that? My heart sank. I'm a teacher and have July and August off to be with my family and I had hoped to give them a summer to remember. How can I make the last part of this summer better for the kids? — Sad Mom, St. James Dear Sad Mom: Refuse to take on the frustration and depression from people around you, so you'll have the energy to find new things to do and salvage the summer. Take the time now to make a list of indoor events and places to go with your family for the few weeks left of summer. (The Free Press published a two-part list this month: Everybody likes swimming, so start by checking out pool schedules online. Air quality at the city's indoor pools is good, but if you want to be sure to get your kids in to swim, you may have to line up before opening time. You could also consider throwing a party for your kids' friends. If you have enough money to hire a children's entertainer — a magician or musician — it will be a guaranteed success. Invite cousins and neighbourhood kids over for the party and serve up hot dogs and ice cream. Don't forget the goofy hats and party favours. The party could be the highlight of the summer for your kids. Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@ or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6. Maureen ScurfieldAdvice columnist Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column. Read full biography Our newsroom depends on a growing audience of readers to power our journalism. If you are not a paid reader, please consider becoming a subscriber. Our newsroom depends on its audience of readers to power our journalism. Thank you for your support.
Winnipeg Free Press
03-07-2025
- General
- Winnipeg Free Press
Sober second go rides on solid support system
Opinion DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: 'The woman who got away' has moved back to town and she's almost single — soon to be divorced. I'm sure she still wants me. She only married her husband and moved away because I was still drinking heavily and couldn't stop myself. But that was then, and this is now. I've been sober for two years now, all of my own doing. I tell myself she really loved me and I think she probably still does. She even admitted to me when we broke up that I was the best lover she ever had, and the funniest. I love this woman right down to her purple-painted toenails. Now what should I do? I'm right here waiting. — Sober and Healthy, West Kildonan Dear Sober and Healthy: Your ex may not fully trust you and your sobriety if you're not connected any kind of support program, such as Alcoholics Anonymous, to help you stay on the wagon for good. So, it's time for you to voluntarily make that kind of connection since you're so serious about getting this woman back and staying with her forever. You can swear to her all you like that you'll stay sober on your own, but unless you actually prove it over time and have backup help, she's probably not going to be impressed enough to throw her life in with yours. Don't lose her twice. Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: It was a beautiful day, so I walked home six blocks for lunch recently and left my car at work. When I came in the back door, I thought I heard something weird in the house, so I went to the door of my 17-year-old son's room and it was obvious he had company in bed. I screamed his name and there was a lot of scrambling around and then I heard his closet door shut. I was so upset I pushed my way and opened the closet, and who should be in there, screaming, 'Don't come in!' but his new girlfriend. I backed off then because I knew she must be naked, and went to the living room. She blasted past in shorts and a T-shirt and out the back door. Now what? He has a delivery job at night and she has no job. I don't want my son to marry someone out of rebellion, but I don't want them living here either. Nobody's really talking to anybody now. We avoid all contact coming and it's so tense, I can hardly bear it. — Upset Mom, St. James Dear Upset Mom: What's the worst thing that could happen here? A teenage pregnancy. So, calm down for a day or two and then address that issue with your son. Tell him you understand they probably won't quit having sex just because you're against it. Therefore, you are supplying him with a big box of high-quality condoms. This way, when he and his girlfriend are making love, you won't be totally panicked. Also, be nice to your son's girlfriend (and whatever girlfriend likely comes next) as too many mother-son relationships have been ruined by stressed parents calling young girlfriends disrespectful names. Remember, your son cares about this person and you could lose him if you overreact. Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@ or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6. Maureen ScurfieldAdvice columnist Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column. Read full biography Our newsroom depends on a growing audience of readers to power our journalism. If you are not a paid reader, please consider becoming a subscriber. Our newsroom depends on its audience of readers to power our journalism. Thank you for your support.
Winnipeg Free Press
19-06-2025
- General
- Winnipeg Free Press
It's safety first with young ones at the lake
Opinion DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: My husband — a former lifeguard — went ahead and bought a cabin for our family at a lake in southern Manitoba. What a disaster. I'm not happy. I swim like rock, and I would be the one alone at the lake with our two young kids during the week while he's at work. My husband says he'll make every weekend a long weekend, but I don't even want that. I need him there all the time for safety. What do you think? The cabin sale is already finalized. How do I cope with this? — Dangerous Situation, southwestern Manitoba Dear Dangerous Situation: A drowning death in a family is tragedy for life. When your husband is not at the lake with you and the children are in the water or even just on the beach, you will need a well-paid older babysitter with lifesaving credentials. As a former lifeguard, your hubby should certainly understand this. You always must be there on the beach with your helper, as well, to look out for a child not in the water with the sitter. And everybody must be wearing life preservers at all times. That is not overdoing it. If this is not going to be a happy situation for you, then stand your ground and stay at home on weekdays and only go up when your swimmer husband goes with you for those three-day weekends he's promising. Also, you and your children need some swimming lessons now, no matter what happens. Private instruction may be the best bet. Dear Miss Lonelyhearts: I was just hanging out at home recently, when my doorbell started ringing incessantly. I knew instantly who it was — my old boyfriend who always arrived this way in high school. This stunt was how he liked to announce himself — he's always been kind of charmingly goofy. So I unlocked the door, and he knelt down, took my hand and kissed it dramatically. I must admit it was kind of exciting. He said he'd had two long years to think about it, and he was willing to take me back. I just laughed. Then he spelled out the primary reason for trying again — we've both rejected everyone else we've dated since breaking up. Then he said he'd punished me long enough and we should give it another try. Ha. I'm tempted, but I would hate if we got back together and it turned out to be a mistake. I do admire his nerve, however. Should I give him another try, or would I be wasting my time? — Another Whirl or Not? St. Vital Dear Another Whirl: If you don't give it a whirl, are you going to regret it? If so, try it — no matter what friends and family think. If it isn't going well for the two of you as adults, say your final goodbyes and you can both go in peace. People may laugh at you for trying, but just brush them off — it's not their business to judge from the sidelines. There still seems to be a spark there for you both, so see how it goes. Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@ or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6. Maureen ScurfieldAdvice columnist Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column. Read full biography Our newsroom depends on a growing audience of readers to power our journalism. If you are not a paid reader, please consider becoming a subscriber. Our newsroom depends on its audience of readers to power our journalism. Thank you for your support.
Winnipeg Free Press
11-06-2025
- Lifestyle
- Winnipeg Free Press
A little compromise could go swimmingly
Opinion DEAR MISS LONELYHEARTS: It's June and my cute-but-chubby wife doesn't want to go to any beaches. She was cheated on way back when by a weightlifter guy and blamed it on her imperfect body. I'm betting it was really the fault of her relentless jealousy. I knew she was a jealous woman before we got married, but four years later, I'm so tired of her body-weight hangup that I can't stand it. We haven't been to the beach together in two years. I want her to expose her beautiful round shape to people at the beach — not that they would care. In fact, I think we're a good-looking couple. She's in her 30s and a very sexy woman with long black hair and green eyes. I'm tall and skinny, and I don't want another skeleton like myself to play with in bed. Yet she still thinks I may have roving eyes for skinnier women. I've never wanted that. Today my wife said she would never be into sunbathing on the beach again. Do I really need to scrape up the money to install a pool for us for two or three short months a year because of her weight hangup? I think I just need the water and swimming, and I'm tired of our endless holiday discussion being all about her and her body issues. How can we solve this, and fast? — Annoyed Husband, North Kildonan Dear Annoyed: Why not compromise with an above-ground pool — not big enough to break the bank, but big enough to have fun swimming with friends and family, and also for the two of you to play together in privacy. When it comes to your wife's 'hangups,' have you openly expressed to her how much you like her 'beautiful round' physique? A few compliments — especially when they're honest — can go a long way to boosting someone's self-esteem. When it comes to a backyard plan, your wife might appreciate a funky little change room right by the pool, so she and other shy girlfriends can get into the pool without having to walk much of a distance feeling overly exposed. An above-ground pool may not be the beach proper, but it's certainly way more fun than stubbornly doing nothing. Dear Miss Lonelyhearts; I can't get that song My Boyfriend's Back out of my head because it just happened. My Grade 11 boyfriend came back for our recent high school reunion with no wife anymore. I was there and I'm single again myself. We both felt shy and had lots to drink, but we also got to dance together like old times. He even smelled the same — like beer and Old Port cigars. He phoned me today, and my heart roared. But am I just asking for trouble? — Boyfriend's Back, southwestern Manitoba Dear Boyfriend's Back: The real trouble happens when single-again people lose their derring-do and won't even take a chance on dating old friends or new love interests. So why not avoid any future regret for not acting and go for at least one date with this old boyfriend? If it doesn't work out past a single date or maybe two, you will still have had an enjoyable time. Most people simply don't get enough fun in their grownup working lives, and it's time people try to remedy that by taking some reasonable chances in their social lives. It can be great for both emotional and physical health, and you'll avoid the regret of not even having had the courage to give it a shot. Please send your questions and comments to lovecoach@ or Miss Lonelyhearts c/o the Winnipeg Free Press, 1355 Mountain Ave., Winnipeg, MB, R2X 3B6. Maureen ScurfieldAdvice columnist Maureen Scurfield writes the Miss Lonelyhearts advice column. Read full biography Our newsroom depends on a growing audience of readers to power our journalism. If you are not a paid reader, please consider becoming a subscriber. Our newsroom depends on its audience of readers to power our journalism. Thank you for your support.
