Latest news with #celibacy
The Sun
10 hours ago
- Entertainment
- The Sun
New Love Islander Sophie reveals the last time she had sex – and why she was celibate for years
NEW Love Island star Sophie Lee has spilled the beans on the last time she had sex - and revealed why she was celibate for years. The Manchester dancer, 29, is getting ready to enter the famous villa, when the show kicks off in Majorca on Monday. 6 6 6 Ahead of her Love Island stint, Sophie talked about whether she would potentially have sex on the show. "Well, I'm a girl that's practiced celibacy throughout her dating life," she told The Sun. "Yeah, it's gonna take a really hot guy. "Celibacy has been part of my journey, and I think for me, I did try and date when I was going through my accident, or going through having treatment, things like that, and I just wasn't ready." - Sophie was referring to when she was scarred badly after being burnt in a terrifying accident. Continuing to talk about her celibacy journey, the new Islander said: "For my personal preference anyway, sex and intimate times, I'm giving you a part of my body. "I'm giving you a part of my soul, my mind, body and soul. If I'm not in a place where I feel confident in that, then that's a me problem. That's not a him problem. He's just living a single life, or whatever. That's why I did celibacy." Talking about the last time she had sex, and also how long she once abstained from nookie for, she said: "The longest stint was two years. "Even now, I've done celibacy for eight-and-a-bit months. "And I'm proud of that, because it means it's something that I want to do. "If I want to have sex, I want to do it, not because I'm there thinking, maybe I should do it, because he might like me more, or, everyone else is doing it, am I not normal? Love Island's New Star Fire Breather Sophie Lee's Shocking Injury Story "But if I'm not going to have it, I'm not going to have it, end of conversation." LOVE ISLAND EX Yesterday, The Sun revealed how Sophie's Love Island ex-boyfriend has been left devastated after she was revealed in the villa line-up. The bikini babe used to date Ouzy See, 30, who took part in series 10 of the show. But the fact she is going on the new series of the show, has proved to much for the semi-pro footballer A friend of his told us: 'Ouzy was really shocked and blindsided to see Sophie had signed up for Love Island. 6 "He was gutted because he feels like there is still unfinished business between the two of them. "While they aren't dating anymore, he thinks she's an amazing girl and they ended on good terms. "It's weird for anyone though knowing your ex is about to go on Love Island and could fall for someone else on TV.' It was previously revealed how Ouzy dated Sophie back in 2023. 6 He even accompanied her to the Beauty Awards where she won Beauty Influencer of the Year. At the time, Ouzy told us on the red carpet: "It's going really well. This prompted Sophie to chime in: "He's really kind, that's my favourite thing about him." The former villa hunk then gushed: "She's inspirational. We've been dating for a few months." When asked if they were in love, they giggled and replied: "We'll see." Love Island winners - where they are now EVERY year Love Island opens its doors to more sexy Islanders who are hoping for a holiday romance that could turn into more. Here we take you through all of the Love Island winners so far and what their relationship statuses are now: 2025 - The second series of All Stars saw Gabby Allen and Case O'Gorman scoop the crown. STATUS: Still together. 2024 - The summer Love Island saw Mimii Ngulube and Josh Oyinsan were crowned the winners. STATUS: Broken up. 2024 - The first ever All stars spin off show was won by Molly Smith and Tom Clare. STATUS: Still together. 2023 - Jess Harding and Sammy Root took home the 50k, and won the summer 2023 Love Island. STATUS: Broken up. 2023 - The first series of 2023 saw Sanam Harrinanan and Kai Fagan crowned Love Island winners in South Africa. STATUS: Still together. 2022 - Davide Sanclimenti and Ekin-Su Cülcüloğlu's time in the villa was anything but a smooth ride, but they managed to win the public's hearts - and the ITV2 reality show. STATUS: Broken up. 2021 - Liam Reardon and Millie Court were announced winners of Love Island 2021. STATUS: Still together. 2020 - The first ever winter Love Island saw Paige Turley and Finn Tapp crowned winners after falling in love on the show. STATUS: Broken up. 2019 - Series 5 saw Tommy Fury and Molly-Mae Hague runners up to winners Greg O'Shea and Amber Gill, who met in the last few days of the series. STATUS: Broken up. 2018 - It wasn't surprising fan favourites Jack Fincham and Dani Dyer won the show, as they were strong throughout. But sadly things didn't last. STATUS: Broken up. 2017 - Kem Cetinay and Amber Davies had lots of ups and downs in the villa but went on to win. STATUS: Broken up. 2016 - Nathan Massey and Cara De La Hoyde were together from the start of the series, and since they won the show they've had two kids and are married. STATUS: Still together. 2015 - Despite poor Jess Hayes being Max Morley's second choice on the show, they did win - but they didn't last as a couple. STATUS: Broken up.
Daily Mail
2 days ago
- Entertainment
- Daily Mail
I committed to celibacy for a year... but the result was NOT what I expected
When author Melissa Febos decided to stop having sex, it wasn't because of a breakup, a religious epiphany, or a viral celibacy challenge. It was because she was tired - of performative intimacy, of chasing connection, of confusing physical closeness with emotional safety. What began as a three-month break turned into a full year of celibacy. But Febos, who identifies as queer and is now married to a woman, didn't do it to swear off pleasure - she did it to find a more authentic version of it. In her new book The Dry Season, she explores how abstaining from sex made her feel more erotic, not less. 'I felt more vital,' she wrote, noting that the absence of sex created space for clarity and creative energy. It wasn't a punishment - it was a reorientation. For Febos, whose past works (Whip Smart, Girlhood, Body Work) have tackled everything from addiction to sexuality to the politics of writing, this latest memoir is less about renunciation and more about reclamation. She stopped having sex not because she feared desire, but because she wanted to feel it fully again - not dulled by obligation or routine. During her celibacy, Febos found inspiration in the Beguines - a group of medieval laywomen who chose to live outside the bounds of marriage, religion, or male control. They were celibate not out of prudishness, but out of independence. 'They quit lives that held men at the center,' Febos writes. Notably, many of the Beguines were in romantic relationships with other women. Her year without sex wasn't without connection. She formed an intimate, nonsexual bond with a younger queer friend named Ray - a relationship that helped her distinguish between wanting someone and acting on that want. The absence of sex didn't kill her libido - it sharpened her awareness of when she was saying yes out of habit, not actual desire. She also points to a moment of erotic clarity many people might relate to: a mother friend describing how aroused she felt just standing alone in a quiet airport line after time away from her toddler. She advised others not to have sex unless they really want to She explained that the quiet, undisturbed space was what celibacy felt like. Even her teaching - she's a professor in a prestigious MFA program - took on new dimensions. Teaching, she says, is 'a kind of seduction': pulling people in with attention, presence, depth. Celibacy gave her a new way to show up in the classroom, fully present, not depleted. By the time Febos fell in love again - with Donika Kelly, a poet she eventually married - she did so from a place of sovereignty, not scarcity. In the end, celibacy wasn't a retreat from desire. It was a radical act of desire - for herself, her art, and the kind of intimacy that doesn't require performance. Her advice? Don't have sex unless you really want to. 'This radical honesty not only benefits you but also your partner,' she says. 'To me, that's love: enthusiastic consent.' And the so-called 'dry season'? It ended up being the most fertile chapter of her life.
The Guardian
2 days ago
- Entertainment
- The Guardian
‘Our fantasy of love has to do with need and dependency': Melissa Febos on her year of celibacy
When Melissa Febos decided to be celibate for a year – after what she describes as a 'ravaging vortex of a relationship' and 'five other brief entanglements' – she felt 'pretty self-conscious and kind of weird'. But other people's reactions surprised her. 'I thought people were going to laugh at me or be like, that sounds boring, but so many people would lean in and either get this eager look on their face or this sort of dreadful look on their face, and they would say, 'Oh, I think I should probably do that too,'' she says. 'I had no idea how many people had been in relationships for their whole adult life.' Febos, a professor at the University of Iowa and author of books about working as a dominatrix, young womanhood and writing, chronicles this celibate era in her new memoir, The Dry Season. 'I had scrutinized my experience and self in many different areas, but in this area, I was fairly unexamined,' she says. 'I didn't have as much insight about that part of myself.' The experience ended up affecting more than her reliance on love and sex. 'All the other areas of my life began to flourish and feel really fulfilling and complete,' she says. 'I had kind of a honeymoon experience with myself, especially at the beginning, because I realized almost immediately that I enjoyed my own company profoundly, perhaps even more than I enjoyed the company of any other person.' What were those first weeks of celibacy like? What was the hardest part? At first, I wasn't quite sure what my goal was, or what the conditions of my celibacy would be. I began with sex, because that seemed like the most obvious common denominator in my relationships. So I thought, I'll take three months off. Within the first few weeks, I had the experience of flirting with someone, and I got a text from someone I'd been on a date with, and I identified very quickly the feeling of excitement and distraction that had been propelling me. I almost immediately began questioning the parameters of my celibacy: I thought, oh, perhaps it's not sex. Perhaps it's this feeling of being taken out of myself and chasing a psychological high that I get out of not just sex, but all of the activity around romance, flirtation and seduction. What made sex and relationships so appealing for you? One factor is a collective derangement that we have around love and sex. We idealize this very temporary, superficial definition of love, which has to do mostly with the early stages of infatuation and is predicated upon not yet knowing the lover, and not yet being secure or safe. That's a traditional sense of eros, of longing and uncertainty; it's a very immature definition of love, and it's not sustainable. But it is the part of love that pop songs and movies and romance novels are obsessed with. I think we have a collectively problematic relationship to love and sex, and also a narrative about it – that it's going to complete us, and it's just about finding the right person and then everything's going to fall into place. In addition, I developed early, physically, and underwent a radical difference in the way I experienced being perceived by other people, particularly by boys or men. And I got this messaging, as lots of young girls do, that my primary power in life was to attract and appear lovable and desirable. That's a very fraught place to be sourcing one's self esteem, and I identified it early, at a time in life when I felt really disempowered. I've learned, partly as a result of being celibate and talking about it, that this is really common. In the book, you talk about distilling these internal beliefs to an idea of 'if I'm not wanted, I will die'. You describe this concept as dramatic, but women constantly receive messages – from companies trying to sell us stuff, pop culture – that partnership is what women should aspire to the most. Those ideas have roots that go back literal centuries, right? Women's individual personal safety and survival did depend on our being appealing to potential partners, both physically and financially. And that was true for a lot longer than it hasn't been literally true. I don't know how we would eschew that idea within just the last few generations. Why did you include historical examples of women who were also celibate, like the Belgian beguines, the 12th-century abbess Hildegard von Bingen and Shulamith Firestone, who called herself a political celibate? A few weeks into celibacy, I started to realize I had a set of role models for love and romance that were quite outdated, whom I had adopted as a younger person who was interested in semiconsciously justifying my own choices in love. These were primarily women who were artistically prolific and fulfilled, but also very passionate and messy in their love lives, like Edna St Vincent Millay and Colette and Sappho. I realized, I've chosen these role models because I'm already like them. And now that I'm trying to change my ideals, I need new role models. So I went about reading about women who were voluntarily celibate across global history, and ended up becoming obsessed with these women who seemed incredibly complete and fulfilled, and lived profoundly creative and spiritually centered lives that were also very political, very community oriented, that were interested in mutual aid and art making and collectivity. About a month into celibacy, you found you had a lot of time for other things. You included a short list in the book that I thought was really funny: you cut your hair, donated a bunch of clothes and ran 45 miles. All the adults I know are always complaining about not having enough time, and I, too, have been like that for most of my adult life. This amazing space opened up as soon as I stopped engaging in activities related to love and sex. Some were kind of superficial, like, I revamped my whole apartment. But also, I had this luxury of time to bring a new focus to my creative practice, to all of my other relationships, my friendships, my family relationships, my job. I had so vastly underestimated the amount of time and energy that I spent devoted to love and sex and flirting or being on apps or spending time with a partner or thinking about a partner or a potential partner. There's no way that I could have measured that while I was engaged with those things. I just hadn't realized that I had been preoccupied by partners and dating and love and sex, almost all of the time. Ultimately you were celibate for a year, but originally had set a goal of three months. Why did you decide to extend that period? I started with three months because that is a familiar unit of measurement. I'm a sober addict, and three months is a typical amount of time to detox, psychologically. I also knew it would be unrealistic for me to try to commit to anything longer. And honestly, even though it might sound ridiculous to other people, three months was kind of a long time for me to abstain. But when I got to the end, there was no question that I had barely begun. I was just starting to get a sense of the deeply entrenched patterns that I had been stuck in for years, and I knew that it would take much longer to undo them. I had gotten a break, but I had not fundamentally or constitutionally changed. In the book, a friend makes fun of you – like, three months is actually not that long. Yeah, there were a number of people who said that. It's relative, right? To someone who has trouble getting into relationships, it's absurd, but I had been incapable of doing that. This book – as with you previous books about addiction and sex work – is honest and revealing. What is it like to write vulnerably about your life, and what do you get out of the process? Well, fortunately, I am alone when I write. So I get to write in total privacy. I think when people read a memoir, it feels as though the writer is speaking directly to them in real time. But actually the writer gets to sit alone for years with those words until I find exactly the way I want to communicate them. I also get to sit with those reflections long enough to make friends with them and to become comfortable with them. I would never publish the first words I wrote about those subjects. For me, writing is a sort of integrating experience, of undoing shame, of becoming friends with experiences that at one time made me very uncomfortable or felt incredibly vulnerable. By the time a book is published, it doesn't feel so vulnerable anymore. I actually feel quite comfortable with that material and excited to share it. Writing about it and publishing it also connects me to a vast community of people, both living and dead, who have had similar experiences and have survived them. And being a part of that larger network and lineage is incredibly meaningful to me. It makes me feel strong and connected in experiences that once felt alienating. There's a great scene where you describe trying to teach a friend to flirt, and you realize you've honed that skill in response to various external pressures. Before I was in graduate school, I worked in food service, and I located this as a training camp in seduction, because it is through social skills and a form of magnetism that I earned my living. The better I was at it, the bigger tips I earned. But I had never thought of that as connected to seduction. Also because I had gotten so much of my self esteem from feeling lovable or appealing or attractive, it was just something that I was constantly practicing from quite a young age. In my early 20s, I worked as a professional dominatrix, and that was probably the realm in which it was most explicit, where my ability to conform to someone else's romantic or sexual ideal was the extent that I earned my living. People told me what they wanted and I became it. My current profession, in addition to writing, is teaching creative writing. I use those same skills in the classroom, but it feels much less manipulative or transactional, because what I'm doing is using my ability to hold someone else's attention so that I can share with them my genuine love for a text or an art form or an artistic practice so that I can imbue them with that same passion for the subject. You mentioned your sobriety earlier. Were there commonalities between sobriety and celibacy for you? When I started the celibacy, one of the questions I brought was whether I could apply the rubric of addiction and recovery to my pattern in love and sex, because there were certainly compulsive elements. I was sort of hoping that I could classify it as a form of addiction, because I had had such success when recovering from other addictions, and I wanted a clear solution. Unfortunately, it wasn't that clear cut. I don't identify as a love and sex addict, at least not exclusively. But there was a lot of overlap. I brought a lot of the wisdom and tools I had learned in recovery to this process, from abstinence to the practice of writing an inventory to gain insight into personal behavior, which I learned to do in recovery from drug addiction. My experience of recovery is that it is not passive. My recovery and abstinence from addiction are contingent on my active participation, and it affects everything about the way that I live. And it is also contingent upon my honesty with myself, about my complicity, my past behaviors, and that also became incredibly relevant to my process of celibacy. Accountability cannot be skipped over at any process of personal change, and I learned that in sobriety. Voluntary celibacy is a hot topic now, as with the 4B movement. What do you think has shifted culturally for that to happen? I think certain groups of people are bringing more scrutiny to conventions that they have taken for granted or passively complied with. And one of the reasons is that the political landscape in the US has taken such a hard shift to the right. We're living under an incredibly oppressive government. Part of this swing to the right is backlash against feminism and civil rights movements. People are responding to that with an equal force, both individually and collectively, and a part of that is scrutinizing how relationship dynamics are reinforcing institutional oppression. You're now married to your wife, whom you describe meeting in this book. Have you brought principles from that celibate year to the present era of your life? I have redefined my ideal for romantic love as one that is not based on dependency. I think our fantasy of love has to do with need and dependency. My definition of love is contingent upon a very conscious choice to support the flourishing of another person. It's based on choosing them, every moment that I maintain that connection. That is the only way I became qualified to have a long-term relationship. I would never have gotten married if I hadn't redefined love in this way, because I think any other definition is not sustainable. The Dry Season is out now through Knopf
Daily Mail
6 days ago
- Entertainment
- Daily Mail
Brandi Glanville reveals shocking impact of her disfigured face on her sex life
has revealed she has gone nearly two years without having sex due to her mysterious facial disfigurement completely ravaging her confidence - but she is desperate to break her dry spell. The former Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star, 52, went public in 2023 that she has been suffering from an unknown illness which has caused significant changes to her face. Since then, mom-of-two Brandi has been desperately searching for a concrete diagnosis as the illness continues to baffle doctors, but all the while she has unwillingly pushed sex to the side and her confidence has continued to plummet. Speaking to pornographic actress Alexis Texas on the Private talk with Alexis Texas podcast, Brandi said she has been celibate since her health woes first began - but 'not by choice.' She added that she is eager to make use of her remaining few years of 'looking hot,' but admitted that her facial issues have thrown a spanner in the works. 'I have two years of looking hot left,' she said in a preview of the episode, which has been exclusively shared with 'This is not hot.' 'This is the most insecure I've ever been in my life,' Brandi continued. 'I isolate, I don't wanna leave the house. 'The last thing I'm thinking about is like having someone look at my face.' While she wants to get her groove back, Brandi is not feeling like herself. 'I'm feeling really insecure about my face,' she shared, but added: 'I need human touch.' Brandi has spent over $100,000 seeking treatment for her mysterious health condition, which she believes has been caused by a facial parasite. She has been open about her ongoing struggle and has been frequently hospitalized too. After various medical appointments, multiple physicians have told the reality star she could be suffering from a 'parasite that jumps around [her] face.' According to the Mayo Clinic, angioedema is a reaction similar to hives that causes swelling in the deeper layers of skin, often around the face and lips. Cosmetic surgeon Dr. Terry Dubrow – who is married to Real Housewives Of Orange County star Heather Dubrow — said he was 'concerned' that Brandi could be suffering from either an 'infectious process' or a 'foreign-body reaction to something she's had injected.' Dr. Terry also clarified that Brandi isn't at 'fault' for not being certain about what is plaguing her, and he instead blamed her doctor for not having a solid diagnosis and treatment plan. However, he seemed fairly certain that whatever was going on with her is 'not a parasite' and is 'not from something she ate.'
The Sun
22-05-2025
- Entertainment
- The Sun
Geordie Shore star reveals she's FINALLY had sex again after being celibate for nearly three years
GEORDIE Shore's Bethan Kershaw has revealed she's FINALLY had sex again after being celibate for nearly three years. The reality star, 30, who is known for promoting wellness and body positivity, has opened up about her sex-free journey. 5 5 5 5 Bethan decided to ditch sex in 2022, in a bid to 'regain control' of her life. The Geordie Shore star has now revealed that her celibacy journey is over, and she has popped her cherry again. Asked why she decided to ban sex from her life on GK Barry 's saving Grace podcast, she told the host: "(Because of) trauma! Do you know what I think it was really weird I kept finding myself in situations with men who are liars unfaithful cheats - horrid gremlins - not very nice." Continuing, she said: "Like it was one of those things where I just thought I really need to distance myself from men and just really kind of connect back with myself." Host GK then asked her, when she had decided to sleep with someone again: "Basically last year I broke it and do you know what I will be honest, it didn't work out. "It didn't work out but he was the perfect person I think to break it with." Over the years, Bethan - who joined Geordie Shore in 2019 - has been linked to fellow reality stars like Jordan Davies, Gaz Beadle, and Johnny Middlebrook. CELBIBACY JOURNEY Bethan revealed that she chosen to be celibate nearly three years ago. She previously said she did it because she wanted to "regain control of her life" again. Opening up to fans at the time, Bethan said: "It's helped me build willpower and control over myself. "I've learned that no amount of time spent being celibate will help you heal your attachment style unless you reconnect again - you heal it when you feel it. "It freed up time and energy for my personal goals. "It did sometimes feel like I was suppressing my desire to love and be loved out of fear of being hurt. It helped me with my self-awareness around connecting and wanting to be a more conscious and better human being. "It sometimes it did lead to self isolation and it got lonely. I gained a lot self-sufficiency and independence, it's incredibly empowering. It sometimes triggered an insecurity that I had to be perfect before I started looking for love. "It encouraged me to only seek out healthy relationships. No amount of time being celibate will protect you from getting hurt again. "I can quicker understand my emotions and communicate them with others. She continued: "I'm so proud of myself and other people out here trying their best to heal no matter what that looks to you, therapy/celibacy ect but understand that you can't avoid being hurt or even hurting others because at the end of the day you are still human and as humans we will always be imperfect. To strive for perfection in anything is to immediately fail. "Working on your mental well being is single handedly the most positive and transformative thing you can do for yourself but also the world around you. "So if you ever feel like you're not enough or haven't got anything to be proud of just know that you just working on yourself is already such a powerful accomplishment." 5
