This is how we do it: ‘It's been exciting to introduce him to toys, role play and unusual positions'
I've always been pretty horny and have found it quite easy to connect with people on a sexual level. In general, if I've wanted to get laid, I've managed to do that quite easily.
Because of that I've taken periods of celibacy in my life, as I think sex can be a bit distracting sometimes. It's happened about three times, each for about a year or so, usually after a time of change in my life. It brings me clarity.
Removing sex gives you more headspace to focus on other things, and those periods have been some of the most productive of my life. And then, when you come out the other side, you're reacquainted with sex in a way that sparks that sense of enjoyment.
I met Leon about six months after I'd come out of one of these celibate periods. We were both coming from a similar place but in very different ways, ready to re-engage and get excited about sex.
He was going through a divorce at the time, and part of that was due to a dead bedroom situation where they very rarely had sex. He was quite upfront that his re-engagement with the dating scene was just to get his rocks off and reacquaint himself with his sexual side.
One of the things that drew me to him was that he is a very sexual person. Sex embeds itself very easily into our daily lives. We don't have to schedule intimacy; it's something that feels very natural.
We have a lot of sex, and lots of different types of sex. I've had a lot more sexual experiences than Leon, such as BDSM and group sex. There's quite a seductive element of being a bit like a teacher. Before me, he'd had very vanilla sex with the same person for about 15 years, so it has been exciting to introduce him to new ideas, whether that's toys or role play, or even just unconventional positions.
There's a sense of exploration in our sex life, which I think is one of the things that has kept the spark growing between us.
It's empowering for both of us.
If you're keen to talk to us about your sex lives you can get in touch by filling in the form below. It is very important that both sexual partners are happy to participate.
It's very invigorating for me to be with someone who can just lead the way
Annie and I met a year and a half ago on a hook-up app, which is all we were both looking for at the time, but it's flourished into a relationship. Part of the reason for this has been me rediscovering myself as a sexual person.
I'd never felt able to freely express myself sexually. I went to an all-boys school, so I didn't really get to interact with girls much until my late teens. Then when I was 20 I met the girl who became my wife. So that set the boundary in terms of experiencing different partners and understanding what sex is to me.
Annie and I met while I was going through a difficult divorce. I'd lost my mojo, and was confused and ashamed that I wasn't initiating sex. I felt like there was something wrong with me.
Since meeting Annie, I've been able to come out of my shell and explore some of the things I think I've always been interested in. Annie wears her sexuality on her sleeve, and she's not afraid to say what she likes.
She's a very powerful, confident woman and it's very invigorating for me to be with someone who can just lead the way. It takes the pressure off me, which is really freeing. I'm having all these new experiences like role play, toys and restraints, and she is taking on a more dominant role which we both enjoy.
I'm really keen to not settle into a routine for very obvious reasons, so I've always got that impetus to keep making sure we're still engaging in a fun and experimental way. I think I'm scrambling to make up for lost time.
We see each other once or twice a week so we'll have a lot of sex when we are together. It's not always kinky. If one of us has had a difficult week, we'll be there for each other in a more emotionally supportive and intimate way, and that's the kind of sex we'll have. And if we're feeling good and we go to the pub and have a few drinks, then the gloves are off.
Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles
Daily Mail
2 hours ago
- Daily Mail
How women decide if a man is 'dateable' or 'disposable' in just SEVEN seconds
When you first meet a potential partner, there is a split-second moment that can make or break a budding romance. And according to one of Australia's leading dating experts, most men have absolutely no idea it's happening. Perth-based matchmaker Louanne Ward, has stunned singles with her latest insight into dating science which she urges all men to be aware of. In a recent video, Louanne revealed that women decide whether a man is worth dating - or ditching - in as little as seven seconds. It's a concept called 'thin slicing', and as Louanne explains, it's not a gut feeling or a random assumption, it's backed by neuroscience. 'When it comes to dating, she doesn't need hours to decide,' Louanne said in the clip, which has quickly gained traction online. 'She needs about seven-to-twelve seconds. And whatever happens in that narrow window, that's when her brain makes the call.' While many might assume women base their dating decisions on conversation, common interests, or even physical attraction, Louanne says the brain is already making critical evaluations before any of that comes into play. 'She's not deciding consciously,' she continued. 'She's not even thinking logically. But neurologically? 'Her brain is scanning for very specific things: leadership, safety, confidence, and emotional stability.' These four qualities, apparently, are hardwired into the female brain as essential cues for long-term compatibility - particularly when it comes to evolutionary biology and reproduction. Louanne has worked with thousands of singles over her two-decade career and says women's brains are built to process micro-signals at lightning speed when meeting a potential partner. This is where 'thin slicing' comes in. The term refers to the brain's ability to make quick judgments with very limited information, something psychologists have studied for years. In the dating world, Louanne said this shows up the moment a man walks in the door or introduces himself. 'She's picking up on your non-verbal cues. 'That includes your posture, your movement, your facial expression, your pace, your tone of voice, even your style.' Even something as simple as saying your name can trigger an instant response. 'The pitch, tone and weight of your voice gets processed as a signal,' she explained. Women naturally assess if a man's voice is calm or anxious, clear or uncertain, and grounded or reactive. According to the 'science' Louanne refers to, these subtle details trigger emotional responses in a woman's body where she might feel attraction, curiosity, indifference, or a quiet, unshakable no. Unfortunately for men, once her brain has decided, there's often no going back. While some might scoff at the idea of women writing someone off in under 10 seconds, Louanne said it's something they do consistently and automatically, and in many cases, without even realising. 'Thin slicing can be freakishly accurate,' she said. But it can also be wildly off: 'She might be filtering you out based on a single misplaced signal without ever realising she's doing it.' This, Louanne explained, is why many men leave dates feeling like they were rejected before the night even started - despite not saying or doing anything overtly wrong. 'You might feel wrongly judged… but it didn't start with what you said or did. It started with what she felt while you were saying it.' In other words, it's not about impressing her with flashy conversation or jokes, it's about the energy, calmness, and presence you bring in that first impression. According to Louanne, a woman's subconscious is looking for a few key indicators that signal whether a man is safe and stable, or a walking red flag. These include how grounded and self-assured he seems, whether he feels trustworthy, calm, and in control, if he's comfortable in his own skin or if he seems more reactive or more composed. If the answer to any of these is unclear or negative, a woman's brain can instantly shut down the idea of future dating potential - no matter how handsome or successful he may be. While some commenters have expressed frustration at being judged so quickly, Louanne insisted this isn't about performance, it's about being aware of the signals you're unconsciously sending. For those men who are still unsure, Louanne's advice is to focus less on trying to say the perfect thing, and more on showing up authentically and confidently. 'Thin slicing doesn't mean you're shallow or unfair, it means your brain is doing exactly what it was designed to do.' And with first impressions counting more than ever in today's swipe-happy world, it seems seven seconds might be all the time you really get.
Daily Mail
4 hours ago
- Daily Mail
Grieving dad who saved dying kitten makes special request to animal shelter
A grieving father made a heartbreaking request to a Kansas City shelter after he saved a dying kitten. The Humane Society of Greater Kansas City said it received a call on Monday about a severely injured stray kitten. 'When we arrived, it was evident she was suffering from a previous injury and was in need of immediate medical attention,' the shelter wrote on Facebook. But it turned out the kitten was not the only one in need of help. 'The gentleman hero that saved her requested we name her Hope, because his little daughter just passed and her name was Hope,' shelter staff recounted. 'He said, "everyone needs a little hope, can you name her Hope please?"' Shelter staff were so moved by the tribute that they immediately agreed. Yet it is Hope that now needs some help from us, staff said. 'All four of her paw pads are burned, her eyelid was burned and she has a long road to recovery in front of her,' they wrote as they pleaded for donations to help the kitten. Many in the comments section were moved by the unidentified father's request. 'That's heartbreaking!' one woman wrote. 'Hope is a beautiful name!! So happy she's safe now.' Another added that it is a 'beautiful name [that] fits her well.' As of Thursday evening, the shelter had raised more than $300 for Hope's recovery.
The Independent
15 hours ago
- The Independent
Gullah Geechee elders work to preserve sacred songs passed down by enslaved ancestors
Minnie 'Gracie' Gadson claps her hands and stomps her feet against the floorboards, lifting her voice in a song passed down from her enslaved ancestors who were forced to work the cotton and rice plantations of the South Carolina Sea Islands. It's a Gullah spiritual, and the 78-year-old singer is one of a growing group of artists and scholars trying to preserve these sacred songs and their Gullah Geechee culture for future generations. 'I have a passion to sing these songs,' Gadson said. On a recent summer day, her voice rang out inside Coffin Point Praise House. It's one of three remaining wooden structures on St. Helena Island that once served as a place of worship for the enslaved, and later, for generations of free Black Americans. Gadson grew up singing in these praise houses. Today, as a Voices of Gullah member, she travels the U.S. with others in their 70s and 80s singing in the Gullah Creole language that has West African roots. 'This Gullah Geechee thing is what connects us all across the African diaspora because Gullah Geechee is the blending of all of these cultures that came together during that terrible time in our history called the trans-Atlantic slave trade,' said Anita Singleton-Prather, who recently performed and directed a play about Gullah history. The show highlighted Gullah contributions during the American Revolution, including rice farming and indigo dying expertise. At the theater entrance, vendors offered Gullah rice dishes and demonstrated how to weave sweetgrass into baskets. More than 5,000 descendants of enslaved plantation workers are estimated to live on St. Helena Island, the largest Gullah community on the South Carolina coast where respect for tradition and deep cultural roots persists. 'A lot of our songs were coded, and this language is a language of survival, a language of resilience, a language of tenacity,' Singleton-Prather said, adding that despite slavery's brutality, the Gullah people were able to thrive, 'giving our children a legacy — not a legacy of shame and victimization, but a legacy of strength and resilience.' Discovering Gullah culture and the roots of Kumbaya Gullah culture includes art forms, language and food by the descendants of West Africans who have lived on the coasts of the Carolinas, Florida and Georgia since slavery. 'It's important to preserve the Gullah culture, mainly because it informs us all, African Americans, where they come from and that it's still here,' said Eric Crawford, author of 'Gullah Spirituals: The Sound of Freedom and Protest in the South Carolina Sea Islands.' For most of his life, he hadn't heard the word Gullah. That changed in 2007 with a student's master's thesis about Gullah culture in public schools. 'As I began to investigate it, I began to understand that 'Nobody Knows the Trouble I've Seen,' 'Roll Jordan Roll,' 'Kumbaya!' — all these iconic songs came from this area,' he said. Versions of these songs, he said, can be traced back to the 19th century when 'Slave Songs of the United States,' the first book of African American spirituals, was recorded on St. Helena Island. 'And so my question was: 'These songs that trace back to the 1800s — were they still being done over 150 years later?'' He was so curious that he traveled to St. Helena, where he met the singers and began recording their music. 'These songs became pivotal,' Crawford said, sitting on the original wooden pews of the island's Mary Jenkins Praise House. 'They were forced to go to their owners' church and stay in the balcony. But then in the evening, typically on Sunday evenings, Tuesday and Thursday, they had this space by themselves, away from the watchful eye of the owners, and they could engage in their own songs.' At the praise houses, he said, they connected with their ancestors following West and Central African practices. Prayers and song would end with a counterclockwise dance and a 'ring shout' — a rare outlet of joy for the enslaved. These days the singers no longer rise to do the ring shout due to their age. But at a recent concert they clapped their hands in one rhythm, stomped the floor in another and swayed, singing at the island's Brick Baptist Church. 'These singers are as close as we would ever come to how the enslaved sang these songs,' Crawford said. 'That authenticity — you just cannot duplicate that.' The Voices of Gullah goes global He began to take the singers on tour in 2014. Since then, they've performed across the U.S. as well as in Belize and Mexico. The touring band's members include Gadson; 89-year-old Rosa Murray; 87-year-old Joe Murray; and their son, Charles 'Jojo' Brown. 'I'm gonna continue doing it until I can't do it no more, and hope that younger people will come in, others younger than me, to keep it going,' said Brown who, at 71, is affectionally called the 'baby.' His mother agrees. Sitting in her living room, surrounded by framed photos of dozens of grandchildren, she said she'll continue singing for them. 'I hope and pray one or two of them will fall in my footsteps,' she said. 'I'm leaving a legacy for them to do what I'm doing for the Lord.' Other community members share that mission to teach future generations. The Gullah Heritage Trails Tours take visitors through historic neighborhoods surrounded by beaches, wealthy vacation homes and golf resorts on Hilton Head Island. The tours were started by a family of 12 brothers and sisters in 1996. 'We thought it was important for people to know that Gullah people live on this island,' said Emory Campbell, 82, who helped translate the New Testament into Gullah and for decades led the respected Penn Center, one of the country's first schools for freed slaves. 'If we don't know who we are, we're lost,' said Marlena Smalls, a singer and actor who for decades has been performing adaptations of Gullah spirituals for new audiences and founded the popular Gullah Festival. Her work even appeared on an SAT question about Gullah culture. 'I want to know who I am. And I want my children to know who they are and their children to know who they are. That's why it's important,' said Smalls, who is also known for playing Bubba's mother in the film 'Forrest Gump.' Her adaptations of Gullah music, she said, are a way of preserving it by appealing to a mass audience. But she treasures the old spirituals, calling the group of singers, 'true keepers of the culture.' Given their age, Crawford sometimes asks himself 'who will carry the torch.' He has been working to get grants so students can also start projects to preserve the songs, language and culture. On a recent day, a group of students from Atlanta's Morehouse College arrived at the Mary Jenkins Praise House to admire a site built in the early 1900s. 'It is a portal into the past and a window into the future,' said Tendaji Bailey, 35, founder of 'Gullah Geechee Futures,' a project that focuses on the preservation of Gullah communities and cultural sites. For the past three years, he has been bringing Morehouse students to visit praise houses. 'They hear some of the prayers, some of the songs, and they always come out of that experience transformed. So, I know that there's power in this place, still.' ___ Associated Press journalist Jessie Wardarski contributed to this report. ___ Associated Press religion coverage receives support through the AP's collaboration with The Conversation US, with funding from Lilly Endowment Inc. The AP is solely responsible for this content.
