Latest news with #coerciveControl
News24
2 days ago
- Entertainment
- News24
Sirens: The dark psychology of how people really get drawn into cults
Macall Polay/Netflix Joy Cranham explores how Sirens on Netflix masterfully blends the eccentricity of cult-like behaviours with the unsettling reality of coercive control. Like other quirky TV shows that explore coercively controlling groups, Sirens leans into the 'wackiness' of cult life. Set on a remote island, an affluent community exists under extravagant rule of Michaela Kell aka Kiki (Julianne Moore). Her devoted followers – many of whom are employed by her – are committed to ensuring her every whim is met. This carefully curated existence appears bizarre but flawless, until outsider Devon (Meghann Fahy) arrives looking for her sister Simone (Milly Alcock) and begins to illuminate the control and cult-like behaviour being used as tools of oppression. It is easy to laugh along with Sirens, to get caught up in the eccentric characters and absurd rituals – from assistants being instructed to sext Kiki's partner to rituals around perfuming her underwear drawer each morning. We shake our heads at the characters' choices and reassure ourselves: 'I would never fall for that, I would just leave.' But the uncomfortable truth is it's not that simple. What portrayals of cult communities in sitcoms often miss, or gloss over, is the deeply manipulative psychology behind why leaving a cult is incredibly difficult. Research into cult experiences has shown, cults do not just trap people physically. They entrap them mentally and emotionally, too. I have seen this in my own research into how to help children and their families resist exploitative and coercively controlling individuals and groups. We do see such entrapment in Sirens, but it is often obscured by the wackiness of Michaela's cult-ish community. Isolation and love-bombing In the real world, entrapment starts with isolation. New recruits are gradually cut off from their support networks, separated from their friends and family. We see this in Sirens between Simone, who is Kiki's assistant, and her outsider sister Devon. In one episode, for instance, Simone makes it clear to Devon that their matching sister tattoos were no longer valuable to her. What was once a show of love has become viewed as 'trashy' by Simone. This is a reflection of how Simone was being manipulated away from her previous values. Rejecting the importance of familial relationships is a tool often used by cult leaders, enabling them to construct rifts between the person in the cult and their loved one on the outside. In Sirens, we see a sisterly relationship become ruptured at the instruction of the powerful Kiki, who exploits the vulnerability of Simone to her own advantage. Then comes the love-bombing – a flood of praise, attention, and affection. It feels amazing, especially to someone who has been overlooked or undervalued. When the person expresses surprise, the group responds with lines like, 'that's because we truly see you' or they belittle the person's previous relationships. The message from the group is clear: only we value you. Only we understand the real you. Fear and dependence But the honeymoon phase does not last. Soon, the fear of being cast out takes hold. The group convinces the person that they can only become their best self within the group, that they are fulfilling a higher destiny by being guided by the leader. Leaders in cults use authoritarian tactics, often portraying themselves as messianic figures with mystical powers. They demand unwavering loyalty and devotion. Questioning their authority is not tolerated. Any concern or question is reframed as a personal failing rather than as legitimate concern. Punishment for dissent reinforces the leader's dominance and sends a clear message to the rest of the group: Do not question. The leader and their doctrines are irrefutable. Macall Polay/Netflix This sort of control can lead people to do things they never imagined they would. Take the scene where Simone willingly chews gum that has just been in Kiki's mouth. We might cringe at this, think it's gross and abnormal, but it's symbolic of something much bigger: it depicted total control being exerted over another. Here we watch as Kiki insults Simone, telling her her breath stinks. Instead of being seen as cruelty, it is perceived as care, and Kiki then giving Simone the gum she has just chewed to rectify the problem is perceived as kindness. Simone is grateful and doesn't question it at all. Simone's mind has been manipulated. Devon asks her: 'Does Michaela have her talons so deep in your brain you cannot tell, you are in trouble?' Through using thought reform techniques, cults hack minds. They override critical thinking and replace it with fear and dependency. The constant sense of danger and fear keeps members in a state of acute stress, impairing their capacity to think clearly or make rational decisions. However, this constant fear is happening in a place they are repeatedly told and are convincing themselves is where they have never been happier. The cognitive dissonance of this can contribute to the group's ability to retain members even when exposing them to prolonged psychological and or physical abuse. Even after someone leaves, the effects of this trauma can linger for years – sometimes a lifetime. Survivors often exit these groups with very few tangible resources. Education and employability may have been restricted, and housing and financial independence are often tightly controlled by the group. Many survivors suffer from mental health issues and other stress-induced physical ailments. As a result, survivors require various forms of support and different interventions over the cause of their recovery. And yet, in pop culture, cults are often played for laughs. The trauma is reduced to punch lines. To be fair, shows like Sirens effectively capture the bizarre nature of cult life, and hopefully, reading this piece has helped you look beyond the laughs to see the dark nature of how these groups operate. For survivors, cult life is not eccentric or surreal – it is traumatic.
BBC News
23-05-2025
- BBC News
Hazel Stewart: Double murderer was under coercive control, court told
Convicted double murderer Hazel Stewart was under the coercive control of her former lover when they plotted their partners' deaths, the Court of Appeal has former Sunday school teacher appeared before the court via video link from prison, where she is serving a minimum of 18 years for killing her policeman husband and the wife of her ex-lover Colin is seeking permission to mount a fresh bid for an earlier release from a former dentist, pleaded guilty to the murders in 2010. Depression and PTSD On Friday, the court heard "new evidence" in the case concerning Stewart's mental health at the time of her Kelly KC, acting on her behalf, told the court new evidence had come to light from a psychiatrist who believed Stewart had been suffering from depression and PTSD at the time of the murders of Constable Trevor Buchanan, 32, and Howell's 31-year-old wife Lesley Howell in told the court: "At the time of the killings, there is evidence that the applicant was suffering from two forms of mental health - depression and PTSD - and coupled to the coercive behaviour of the co-defendant, these are features that ought to have been taken into account when determining the minimum term of the life sentence."That's what is at the core of this application." Psychiatrist's view a 'minority one' He argued at the time of Stewart's sentencing in 2011, the issue of coercive control was not fully understood, in particular in the context of mental suggested had it been understood at the time of Stewart's sentencing, the new evidence would have been Philip Henry KC for the Crown told the court the opinion of Dr Harding, the psychiatrist cited by Stewart's legal team, was a "minority" one "without any support from other doctors".He referred to reports compiled by five other psychiatrists, none of whom, he said, identified mental illness in said those reports had been compiled closer to the time of the trial and sentencing, and were based on the same information that Dr Harding had based his more recent report on."None of them had any concerns about mental illness at the time of the offending," he court also heard submissions regarding whether or not it had jurisdiction to hear an appeal in this case. The bodies of Constable Buchanan and Lesley Howell were found in a fume-filled garage in Castlerock, County Londonderry, in originally thought they had killed themselves in a suicide pact after discovering their partners were having an were, in fact, murdered before their bodies were arranged to make it look like they had taken their own took nearly two decades for the truth to emerge when Howell, 52, suddenly confessed to both was subsequently sentenced to a minimum of 21 years in also implicated his former lover in the plot and gave evidence against her at her the trial the court heard that Howell had planned and carried out the killings and Stewart had facilitated them - by drugging her husband, allowing Howell into her house and disposing of a hose pipe used in the Friday, Lady Chief Justice Siobhan Keegan said the court would reserve its decision in the bid for said the court would have to consider all that was said to the court and would await additional information from Stewart's team and the said the court would make its ruling in June.
Daily Mail
16-05-2025
- Daily Mail
EXCLUSIVE BBC star accuses Met cop of using false identity to start 'coercive' relationship with her - and to hide he secretly had another family
A BBC presenter has told how she was left feeling suicidal after being duped into an 'abusive' relationship with an undercover Met Police officer, only to discover he had a wife and family. Jackie Adedeji, 31, had just graduated from university and moved to London when she met the officer, who called himself Dan, during a night out in Shoreditch. But Dan was a fake name - the officer was actually married and had a son, yet he pursued a years-long relationship with Jackie in which he alleges she was subject to coercive control and abuse. When years later she reported him to police, she discovered he had already been reported for gross misconduct after he texted a 17-year-old girl he helped get home from a party back in 2010. Regardless of Jackie's accusations of sexual misconduct, one of the officers involved had formerly stood trial for rape, something she said broke her trust in the system. She alleges the investigating officer on her case then told her not to pursue her complaints through the police, adding she could always 'have your own Me Too moment' online. After waiting nearly two years after first reporting the officer who manipulated her, Jackie says she has been told there is little evidence to continue with a criminal case because the officer's shift records are unable to be located. Describing the heartbreaking impact of her ordeal, Jackie told MailOnline: 'I didn't want to be here anymore.' Jackie first met Dan while on a night out in Shoreditch with a friend. She told how, while lost in the city, having only just moved to London, two men approached them and identified themselves as undercover police officers. After a brief conversation, Jackie said the Met Police officer - who told her he was 34 but was actually closer to 40 - told her: 'I won't let you leave without getting your number first'. The officer then pursued a romantic relationship with Jackie that lasted more than two years, and saw the officer frequently call her to meet him and have sexual contact with her while he was on duty. Jackie told MailOnline how Dan initially raised concerns by refusing to take photographs with her and even telling her to duck and hide when in his car on their first date. A pattern of 'manipulative' behaviour soon emerged, she said, including him confiscating her phone to delete all messages between them and frequently texting her to find out where she was. She said the officer would interrogate her about what she had told her friends and family about him, and told her to stop listening to them. 'The relationship became really coercive and sexually exploitative,' Jackie said. 'He stripped me of my innocence and preyed on my naivety. He took advantage of me. 'He was constantly asking me for naked photos of myself, telling me he was a police officer and I could trust him. 'He would ask to meet me all the time when he was out working and would make sure to meet out of sight of CCTV cameras to perform sex acts.' As well as meeting in the Shoreditch area while Dan was on duty, she said he would often book hotels for them to stay in - and she never went to his home, although he came to hers. 'He was very manipulative, our relationship was very confusing,' Jackie told MailOnline. 'If I ever asked to see his police ID he'd refuse and make out I was a 'firecracker' who 'had a temper'. I was scared. 'He was making me feel like what he wanted me to do was what I wanted too. He kept telling me he couldn't trust me and made me question myself and what I was feeling. 'I tried to leave him loads of times but he always found a way to make us get back together.' Jackie said when she found out the officer had been using a fake name and actually had a family, she was so shocked she collapsed on the floor. 'I exploited myself for him, and he lied to me and psychologically manipulated me for years,' she said. 'He was basically a stranger. It was like I was a game to him.' The discovery marked the end of the relationship, and after undergoing therapy she decided to report his behaviour in 2023. By that time, Dan had moved from the Met to the City of London Police, so his behaviour was investigated by them. Dan was arrested by police for misconduct in a public office, and Jackie was informed she was the second woman to come forward about him in six months. The second woman reported how, after attending a party and being victim to a crime there in 2010, the officer took photos with her before initiating a relationship with her, despite her being just 17. 'Dan' - then 32 - had added her on Facebook and messaged the teenager, saying: 'You still OWE me a drink for that missy!!' Jackie said he also called her 'missy' throughout their relationship. Dan resigned as a police officer before the 2024 panel found him guilty of gross misconduct in the then-teenager's case, describing his behaviour as 'a type of coercion' and 'an abuse of power and authority'. But her ordeal was far from over. After her case had been passed to an investigating officer, she told MailOnline how the investigator took her out for coffee and began complimenting her appearance. 'It was so weird,' Jackie said. 'He had seen the contents of my phone, all the naked photos I had sent to Dan. 'He said I looked well and was very photogenic. He told me he had sent a photo from my initial interview to his colleagues to show them. 'He said I'd be better off having my 'own Me Too moment' than moving forward with reporting Dan to police.' After the meeting, Jackie said she didn't sleep for two days and was left with suicidal thoughts. 'I felt like I couldn't challenge him. I was back in the same position, I felt like I was screaming into a box and no-one could hear me,' she said. Jackie went to London's Victims' Commissioner Claire Waxman, who advocated for the officer's removal from the case. An officer from Professional Standards was assigned to take her statement - but when Jackie googled him, she found that he had previously stood trial for rape. He was not convicted. Jackie says she has not had an update on the criminal investigation for around three months, and has lost faith in the police. Describing the impact Dan's behaviour, and the reporting process, has had, Jackie told MailOnline: 'I had anxiety and was frequently calling the Samaritans. It had me questioning my entire life, I didn't want to be here anymore. 'I was not sleeping, I wasn't eating, I was crying every single day, I was losing it basically. 'I'm still confused about my own self and I'm sensitive to my emotions. But now I get to show up and be who I am. 'I've not had a voice in this but now I do. He can't step on me anymore and make me feel small. 'There's no right way to be a victim.' In the summer of last year, Jackie was told by City of London Police that the case file had been sent to the Crown Prosecution Service for a charging decision, but officers later admitted this wasn't the case. The case had instead been sent for early advice, and almost a year later it has still not been sent for a charging decision. City of London Police told MailOnline the criminal investigation into Dan is still ongoing. Misconduct proceedings into the second officer, who is said to have discouraged Jackie from pursuing the case, are ongoing and being carried out by British Transport Police. A spokesperson for City of London Police said: 'Last year a criminal investigation began following the arrest of an officer for Misconduct in a Public office. 'A separate complaint against the same officer was also investigated under Police Conduct Regulations, resulting in him being found guilty of gross misconduct. He is no longer a serving officer. 'We cannot disclose details of the criminal investigation that may prejudice the case but accept the victim's complaints and fully recognise the importance of trust and confidence in how our investigations are carried out. 'We referred all of the victims' concerns to the Independent Office for Police Conduct for consideration, and after receiving their advice it should continue to be investigated locally, we have listened to the concerns raised and passed the complaint to a separate force (British Transport Police) for independent review.' The Met has been contacted for comment.
Irish Times
15-05-2025
- Irish Times
Jacqueline Connolly: ‘I didn't know what coercive control was until my family were killed'
In 2016, Clodagh Hawe and her three sons, Liam (13), Niall (11) and Ryan (6) were murdered in their Co Cavan home, by their husband and father Alan Hawe, who later took his own life. It was, and still is, Ireland's largest murder-suicide and the brutal killings sent shockwaves throughout the country. In her book, Deadly Silence , Clodagh's younger sister Jacqueline Connolly, gives her account of the circumstances leading up to the mass murder and how her brother-in-law, Hawe, coercively controlled and manipulated her unsuspecting sister. Looking back now, Connolly says she can see some of the red flags surrounding Hawe, but at the time, she wasn't aware of this form of abuse. READ MORE 'I didn't know what coercive control was until they [my family] were killed,' she tells Róisín Ingle on the latest episode of The Irish Times Women's Podcast. Connolly and her family first spoke publicly about their family tragedy in 2019, after feeling let down by the initial Garda investigation. [ 'Alan Hawe was a wolf in sheep's clothing who fooled us all': Clodagh Hawe's sister on her fight for the truth Opens in new window ] The media attention that followed prompted the gardaí to commission a second investigation by the serious crime review team, the findings of which were disclosed to the family in January 2024. It found the initial inquiry mishandled CCTV evidence and missed digital evidence in the case. The family are now calling for the report to be made public, in order to highlight the behaviours of family annihilators and to prevent further tragedies. Connolly believes this action could save lives. 'Clodagh, Liam, Niall and Ryan might still be here… Look at all the murder suicides that have happened up to now and [they all have] the same coroner's investigation. What have we learned? I'm being vulnerable, I'm being open. Take and learn from it.' [ Kathy Sheridan: Who felt informed enough in those first few days to call Alan Hawe a cold-blooded murderer? Opens in new window ] In writing the book, Connolly also hopes to raise greater awareness about domestic abuse and the warning signs to look out for. 'There are people in the shadows, men in GAA clubs in communities, caring, kind, trusting, but what are they like behind closed doors?' 'When you saw Alan, you saw Clodagh, you saw the three boys, they went everywhere together. They were this family unit. They were in my eyes, the perfect family. There was nothing untoward going on,' she recalls. 'I didn't see anything to challenge. Now we're educated on what coercive control is. We're educated on what family annihilators look like. I might not have liked him, but I trusted him'. [ 'I knew him for 20 years ... I knew him but I didn't know him' Opens in new window ] The book, she says 'is to protect women and children and to safeguard them and to show people it could be anybody standing around you. One in three women are coercively controlled.' You can listen back to this conversation in the player above or wherever you get your podcasts.
